Devine timing is hard to define but easy to find
If I can make you think- that’s a win
If I can make you feel- that’s a win
If I can make you think about how you feel-then it’s a wrap
POETRY (KINDA)
Got the cat by the gat on the 3rd level of the shoe rack
Happy 4:32 PM
it’s time for the mushroom cap
And wash it down with pre-workout
This dude at Bojangles keeps moaning for no reason
I hate when you drink too much fluid and you get sloshy
Whenever I need to raise my HR/ BP and wake up quick, I’ll listen to something political
I’ve had enough engaged women come on to me not trust many fiancé’s
Random thought about all the family reunions I’ve witnessed at the local Showmars recently
Kind of sweet and kind of cringe if you know what I mean
Simply put,
The closer you get to other people, the more rules you need to make sure they don’t kill each other,
But Shouldn’t it be the other way around with resources and entertainment?
Dudes be like
I heard your spirit is part female and that’s ghey
As someone who has suffered multiple existential identity crisis, I can attest that no matter how weird shit gets,
you’ll be fine if you follow your heart
The biggest hoe move that a little smoking screen can do is to pop out the bowl for no fucking reason
If the peak is in the middle of the middle then you have a pyramid
Nothing against the dude, but I hate it when I got Thomas Rhett songs stuck in my head
It’s never a good thing when the trailer in front of you with all the landscaping equipment is leaking suspicious fluid
Remembering how all the single nurses at my last job we’re low-key coming on to me
Which isn’t intended as a brag
it’s intended to emphasize how fucking crazy nurses are.
They did not take the time to get to know me and my stats on the outside we’re not looking good at the time so they really just wanted attention and I was the most convenient
I don’t play that shit anymore
I don’t know about you, but I like my bread with a little poison and micro plastics
Sometimes I really can’t believe how good of a cat Alex is
I mean, he’s 100% a humanoid soul incoronated into a cat
Every now and then I think he’s my late friend Caleb
Cause that is something Caleb would do if given the option
But on the other hand, I kinda hope not because I’d be giving Alex lots of kisses and that would make it super weird and I’m not gay like that lol
*clears bowl 🥣
Everyone who’s ever fought for something they believe in will tell you how meaningful that experience is.
Everyone who’s ever fought somebody who has believed differently will tell you about how tragic that was
Jordan’s are actually pretty good shoes for kicking doors when your hands are full because of the padded toe box
“I can’t wait to be off work so I can chill and do nothing”
Then when it finally comes time to do nothing , it kind of sucks and is boring
And the dumbass of the day award goes
To:
the people who ordered a bunch of stuff from Marco’s pizza and told me to hand it to them, but when I went to ring the doorbell, they told me to go away and if they weren’t interested
Every time the wind blows the leaves over my path it’s synchronizes with my right arm tattoo
Hard to beat a 75° day in the middle of November
Voice to text thinks I’m talking about a ratchet girl whenever I say, Destini
People be like
“I hate my job. I hate my spouse. I hate my home. I hate everybody.
Can you increase my antidepressant, please doc ? “
I’m really not that cold, but my attitude doesn’t know that yet
Just saw someone speed into their own neighborhood and I knew I had to write it down cause I’ll never see someone as cool as that again
I really can’t believe I still have hair or that it’s even this long for that matter with how much I pull and play with it
Over the spring, I was seriously getting a bald spot where I would rip small chunks out when I was writing ✍️
Alex likes to post up on my chair to reinforce the supervillain vibes
True success requires the ability to make amends…
Which means you have to be a dick sometimes to create the situation to make amends
Through deep philosophical deconstructive reasoning I have tricked my consciousness into getting exciting over dumb shit basically
Let’s keep it real
You know the biggest problem back then was Coochie smell
But I think that’s why the bush was such a big deal
The best thing texting ever did was change the writing tempo and allow the acceptance of more personal writing styles and slang
Except now we got corporate emails with urban cliché and suspicious emojis so I guess that’s the trade-off
I’m gonna have to make the PB&J of shame
All I have left with the bonus slices of bread
You know the ones that are basically all crust that come at the end of the loaf?
Yeah, well fuck it 🍞
I be emerging from the tomb at noon
Bundled up to go on my 10 minute walk and the 60° sunshine
No shame
But I might be sweating by the time I get back lol
I have found that about 13 dry spoonfuls and five spoonfuls of sugar and four minutes Boil is the perfect recipe
And then you get the blueberries in a bowl to cool down the bowl
Which sets up an amazing grand finale when you add the hot oatmeal to the freezing berries and icy bowl. 🥣
Not a good sign when you have to restart the thermostat after a few minutes
Ugh
keep the house super cold and just add on a lot of heavy thick layers
It might be some ancestral shit, but It’s way more cozy than just having a warm home (and cheaper)
Because you still get the contrast of the cold, but your body continues to burn a little bit more to stay warm
And by staying in burn mode You’ll be a little happier than staying in super needy comfort mode
You can produce your own internal light when you were cold
I mean that literally and figuratively and metaphysically
The blueberry oatmeal is so good
Get frozen blueberries and have them waiting for the super hot oatmeal
You get to skip the cool down weight and it makes the bowl that much better
It’s OK to bundle up with a bong when you’re emotionally cold
Give me a heavy stick and I’ll give you 1000 things to do with it
Give me a heavy plate and I’ll give you 1000 things to do with that
Give me nothing at all and I’ll give you 3000 just for shits and gigs
I know if I was talking to God I would be like
“ what’s the hardest and most challenging type of timeline but also the most fun and not lame (at least in the second half)
Give me that”
My secret is staying lean is a three step process
Be broke
Be pothead
Be restless
Ima have to beat my own ass for eating crackers in the bed 🛌
But fuck it
I’m reading this article talking about how these people don’t have food and yet everyone in the photos is obese…
Shout out to Chris Williamson from the modern wisdom podcast
Always with great guests
I’m happy to offer you a suburban wisdom segment
And advice for other recovering fuck boys
Had a Kratom and kava extract thingy tonight
That also had AshwaGonda and l-theanine in it (but didn’t want to talk about that- not on label)
Supposed to be 150 mg
But feels like it might be half that
That 2am rain hits different
So do 2am hiccups
And so will I if these don’t fucking go away
I HATE HICCUPS SO FUCKING MUCH
*holds breath like puffer fish
If I ever snap, just know i had the hiccups
Judging by the behavior of my insulin
You could say, I’m an astronaut
Cause that thing skyrockets daily
What you get when you merge
Suburban schooling
Journalistic ambition
Spanglish based Texting slang
Ridiculousness
To remember to switch the laundry, I have moved my shoe rack into the middle of the kitchen
That way, my future self has to address the inconvenience
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again
The Earth and the moon are the equivalent of man-made
And human’s true home is likely from many different places
I just can’t get over the ancient nostalgia-esq feeling I get when I see someone get an arm blow off by a musket
And anything involving a tomahawk is fascinating
Fucking hate when the general public can’t read my mind to stop doing things to upset me
I must admit that I am probably the worst at liking, sharing, subscribing or interacting with anything online that I like
I don’t think I’ve ever left a review
W.W.W PT 1
Hate to say it but I’m a bigger fan of human sacrifice and animal sacrifice
There’s something oddly comforting about eating meat off a bone
If I can get back a third of the cognitive power I had while on Adderall without the come down,
I think that would be a lot like the movie “limitless”
You don’t know pain until you’ve had to eat a pound of plain ass chicken
I can tell a big difference on my writing today versus up before the mushroom
Cause my ego gets real chatty and bitchy the longer it is between trips 🍄
Just remembered the Keylime pie mid mobility session and had to drop the stick to go eat it
So that tells you how serious I take fitness
“Why do you make me hit you”
-toxic ass Japanese guard to prisoner
-me to bong & punching bag daily
I actually think salesmanship is the top of the communication pyramid
…Especially after they’ve said no multiple times
Deadass I remember being traumatized about being too afraid to dance at my pre K concert
Caught myself getting all nervous about my writing for a minute
Then I remembered how much fun it is
And then I remembered to write down how nervous I got
“He backs away slowly with a pain in his eyes that says I can’t do the small talk any longer”
-Anyone when describing me
You can chain my hands and feet down but you cannot restrain my tongue
Most people have never slept in their car just for shits and gigs, and it shows
Some days I’m really fed up with the whole spiritual education bullshit
But whatever
This too shall pass
I’ve got a grinder full of ganj
A slightly off center kickback lean
And less energy than I thought five minutes ago
Bro I was looking extra saucy today at the gym thanks to the MK and creatine
But ill be on chipmunk status soon 🐿️
Calorie update
+7 eggs
One bag of popcorn
Two ice cream cookie sandwiches
So that’s like 1250 cal in about 50 g of protein
Lol
My lunch:
Pretzels
M&m cookie brownie crumble
M&m ice cream sandwich
With a lil pre workout to wash it down
Prob like 750ish calories lol
"SHOULD WE BE WORRIED"
It’s all fun and gainz until you feel a “twinge”
Read too much in the symbolism and you’ll think everything is talking to you
You’ll see the most decrepit zombies you’d never think possible in a church basement after sunset
Hell is being gaslit by everyone around you cause they’re scared of saying sorry and being wrong
Start writing about work and you’ll lose 80% of readers
Careful when kicking the door open after leg day…
Friendly reminder, the gates of Hell are locked from the inside
Constantly forcing yourself to do something when you don’t want to is the emotional equivalent of muscling the movement
Be afraid of those who are afraid
Because they will sell you down the river before they confront their fear
If you actually had to eat veggies to survive then everyone would have died in childhood
Addiction forces you to get a degree in spirituality or
you know,
destroy yourself and all those close to you
Unbroken genius will make you an asshole
Don’t listen to anyone suggesting anything other than one step at a time. They have likely not been this way before
Better to be alone and true then surrounded by false idiots
You are only as strong as the temptation you can avoid
Most mental health disorders can be intermittently overcome given a certain situation, but can be extremely painful to live with during leisure because there is no such thing
Karma is always truthful and balanced and weird as fuck
Some experiences are better off as memories
and it’s important to remember that is the point while you’re undergoing them lest you go insane
Shit is all fun and games until you do a four step
The greatest gift is knowing that you gave everything you could
At 21 I would advise caution when pursuing what you love
At 31 I would advise urgency
You don’t need to find more beautiful things to do
You need to Find more beauty in what you do
The best ingredients to comedy are often the most painful at first
Addiction is the fast way to master your emotions and it’s the hard way
The grass is greener on the other side, but that’s just the lighting
Master the art of being alone, and you’ll never feel like it again
The hardest movement- walking away when it’s time
Anyone truly unique is going to have to stand alone
It’s all fun and games until you actually try to get to the root cause of your issues
The feeling you get after a long hard day of work is a high unlike any other
There have Been a lot of awkward ass convos in random restaurant booths
Right now there are millions of people eating lunch in their car,
praying for the end
Writing equals time traveling if you know the right code
Even the leanest people have WEEKS of energy stored in the easiest to access area…
Wisdom is knowing which long way is the actual shortcut
Envy and jealousy are a form of resentment that erode the mind-body connection
I know what it looks like when somebody expects a new car to fix them
Most companies dirty secret is they have to hire as fast as they’re people quit
You wanna see me what someone’s made of? Make them do food service
Wisdom is knowing which long way is the actual shortcut
Be very careful when grocery shopping while stoned
You can’t pray away crazy
But you can manage it with service work and a strong community
You’ll register as any one (or multiple) of a whole host of emotional disorders if you don’t have your carbs when you need them
The biggest threat is always somebody who knows something you don’t
It’s easy to tell my life is scripted when I’m reading the play by play
The best way to find out who someone really is:
Take away everything they know and see what they want first
The Best punch line is being able to say “told ya so”
When shit takes longer than expected just take extra notes and call yourself a philosopher
Bad guys are more concerned with looking cool rather than their actual job
Christians at Chick-fil-A are is equally fucked as the hood rats at McDonald’s
The real Dragon comes out when you can’t have your carbs when you’re hungry
God help you if you forget the wrong persons ranch…
The real dragon is when you cannot feed the artist ego
Wisdom is knowing all miles are NOT equal
I’ve hung around enough drama queens to know when someone’s acting 🎭
Those who had to be funny to survive are a different level of funny
If it seems like you’re doing something wrong it’s because you’re probably finally not
You get more creative the more bored you are
High fructose corn syrup is a drug,
not a nutrient
Never underestimate a narcissist
When a punishment becomes protocol, then it becomes good training
Train long enough and you can tell who else is counting your reps
There are 3 kinds of everything
Including fears
Good books start like tumors
They get bigger and more violent on the inside until you get it out
And the extraction process is never pretty
Poison usually tastes better than medicine
Using more resistance than you have to is just making it harder on yourself (fool card)
It’s really hard to share anything regarding the art side of fitness without being an egotist
Even the most humble have to use their persona and their performance for proper communication of the point
But most of the time those with a little bit of fitness experience let that experience go to their head
You can make any situation about yourself if you are a big lil bitch about it