The right song with the right caffeine buzz is a spiritual experience
The catch to being a good philosopher is that you also have to be a good dude
A true master of philosophy answers questions with questions
True enlightenment is just getting excited over simple shit
Angry suburban people cuss more than sailors
Never confess to something you didn’t do..
Unless you’re playing 4D chess
Be the first to admit where you’re wrong when you are wrong and you won’t have much to clean up as you go along
Smart people often get themselves killed by pissing off the wrong dumb person
Anything worth doing is worth showing up early for
Hustle based Sales will have you working late nights and weekends
Extra shady white collar sales will have you working 9 to 5
Stress reduction is worth more than entertainment gain
Those trying to help the most are often the ones who hurt the most
You can get creative with a captive audience
The hero almost always goes to prison somehow
Can’t really understand your 1 rep max until you understand your 1 rep minimum
Those who enjoy work,
work harder than those who don’t
Good philosophy is just pointing out the obvious …
Everything is way harder emotionally when you are sleepy
Anything that is not initially interesting is a spiritual challenge
Words can burn more than fire 🔥
Just read something boring for 8hrs and you’ll see
If you write it in ancient Greek, it’ll likely be timeless
A good snack can increase anyone’s faith
The quickest way to go insane is to forget that life is just a game
Higher evolved lifeforms derive their pleasure from awareness rather than chemical release,
Think “proud parent” rather than “drug addict “
Comedy is just seasoned telepathy
Telepathy is just 3rd degree wisdom 🤙🏻
A snakes tail tastes fishy
A cape offers emotional protection, as well as thermal protection
The right kind of challenge gets emotionally easier with time
2:40am - 4:20am is spiritual power hour
The hardest part about being the smartest man in the universe,
is being the only one who knows it
If you watch the other traffic lights, then you can anticipate when the light is going to change
The proper technique for driving down the country back roads is to have the windows down, but the seat warmer on
Great to be a genius
Bad to be the only genius
If you’ve “seen some shit” , then you can easily see who else has too
NOTES WORTH NOTING
Shit gets extra fucked when you remember that your daughter could be your future mother
You can’t call yourself a country boy if you’ve never caught a large mouth bass
Suburban betrayal is pulling for a different team cuz you got money on the game
Anyone who says “Life on life‘s terms“,
Is part of a secret society
When they say that “Jesus saves”
They should also say that “Jesus roasts too”
technology is just a slow revelation of magic in a way that keeps magicians from actually getting killed by idiots
Everyone squirts when squeezed
Just different fluids*
When in doubt pick what you want and call it an experiment
Writing requires undivided attention
Writing anything good requires undivided suffering (usually self inflicted)
It’s much easier to take someone else’s inventory instead of your own
Woe to those who have unwritten books in them
Shit only gets harder until you get it out
If you wanna be in the top 1% then you can’t ignore the 1% details in your day to day life
The second greatest fear is failure
The first is success
You really don’t need to look into the UAP stuff because they’re busy looking into you already
There’s a section of heaven that’s part Wal Mart and part bouncey house
If you can outlift your father- you get all their assets *
Be kind to those who don’t believe in magic,
They’ve clearly never seen miracles
Studying drugs but refusing to use them is actually a conflict of interest.
Not the other way around
Saying- Nobody wants to take drugs from someone who’s never done them.
Happiness requires hard work
Otherwise, that’s just comfort
As long as you work hard,
You’ll be known as someone who works hard,
Thereby deterring those who don’t work hard.
Which alone is hard work
Remembering the most important lesson from Scooby Doo-
Monsters are always men in masks (or hot girls)
If the HVAC boys say between 8-12 then just know the “-“ is optional*
If you have to request a fair fight from your opponent then just know that it will not be one
First thing most seem to get after getting little fit is territorial
Most writers are alcoholics because they’re already addicted to their own thoughts
The right meal & tv show combo is a drug
Or atleast is as mind and mood altering as one
You don’t get into {the real} philosophy of living when on a winning streak
If you roll with enough cops, you’ll realize they’re not the emotional trailblazers they want us to think they are.
Those who never gave up can easily spot those who did
Dying for something is not nearly as meaningful as devoting your entire life to it
If I were you, I’d stop saying “if I were you”
Everyone can write,
Few can edit
DIDN'T HEAR IT FROM ME
When I was in my 20s, I wouldn’t really trust much that wasn’t written on pub MD.
Now that I’m in my 30s, I trust the tarot hippies more than I trust anything else lol
Synchronicity is great except when unlocking car doors or when pressing play on the remote as your TV go to sleep mode
One side says you shouldn’t work so hard,
The other side says you need to work more,
You know your balanced when they are both mad at you
You’re not from the south if you’ve never done that awkward 30 minute midday pregame standing social circle just trying to figure out what to eat
I relate to sharks mostly
because if they stop swimming, they die
I’d rather be a cage fighter than dance in public 😂
When you leave ALDIs without buying shopping bags, It’s usually looks like you’re looting 🛍️
If you don’t know how far you can drive with your gas light on then you have not really pushed it
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve seen someone nearly knock themselves out at planet fitness…
hate when the general public can’t read my mind to stop doing annoying things
I voted for Trump but I knew damn well we was gonna be fucked no matter what.
To be attached to a shit sandwich is just silly.
Regardless of brand or bologna
When I say I’ve seen a lot of evil shit,
Im mostly talking about people acting like hoes over money
guess some people really do need to see other people do something so they feel safe to do it themselves.
And that’s really not such a bad thing as we all have been there,
Like whenever you finish a test too early and you don’t wanna look like you rushed but you’re actually just an extra smart cookie
At least if someone’s broke, you know they’re not stealing or doing only fans or some kind of sick crazy Ponzi scheme these days..
my house is littered with all kinds of micro plastic cat toys
And if I have to deal with some micro plastics to keep my son happy then so be it.
And that is the mentality of most parents,
And I for one get it
“That actually is a really great point”
-me to myself every five seconds*
You know it’s bad when you need the broom before the vacuum
I made my ex promise we’d walk the trail every Sunday to talk about our issues… guess that’s why I’m single
RELATEABLE
The best part about being a philosopher is the more fucked up Your hair, the better.
The best way to make grown men moan is with the truth
The feeling of well-being that hits after you get a belly full of meat is ancient as fuck
You know you hit it right when you get stuck on the leg EXT
It is almost always a compliment when the cute girl in the gym decides to come do hip thrusts right next to you
If you hit it right then you should feel better afterwards
If the situation is super serious, then it’s seriously important to be silly.
If the situation is super silly, then you will seem silly for being too serious