Only quote scripture if you are in church
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Otherwise, you are doing more harm than good to everybody except your own ego or whoever else is already drunk on the same Kool-Aid
Jokes age better than feelings
Cigarettes get better with the less clothes that you have on
Roasting somebody is the highest form of unconditional love because you are literally stating the conditions in which the person should be disqualified,
but by your greater actions, you are actually reinforcing the fact that you still love them regardless
Only thing worse than getting your ass beat,
is getting your ass beat by somebody with a ponytail
When competing, always lead with the basics
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Cuz winning is much sweeter if your opponent fucks up over some basic shit
Anyone overly nice to you just wants something from you
You know it’s gotten out of hand when you got all three dating apps going , and you still think everyone else is the problem
If someone wears a jiu-jitsu shirt in public, then you have permission to sneak attack them
Real Demons are just those afraid of doing the work to clean up their own mess
Whenever a fboy gains a bit of muscle, it usually goes to their head first
Everybody acts tough until they think it’s all about to be taken away,
Then they overreact in a disingenuous way
You learn the most about yourself when you do small simple acts of service
You can get through anything once you are institutionalized
True salesmanship is emotional verbal endurance grappling
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And if you don’t know that, then you’re not even a white belt
Any food from a vending machine counts as fuel
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Except beef jerky in rare cases
Late nights & weekends is when the emotional warriors train
If you’ve never worked in construction or a kitchen, then you probably don’t understand how most men are functioning alcoholic superheroes
Everyone’s real tough until they’re sitting in a circle having to spill their guts
If you ever see someone burning regular ass clothes or household goods, be very suspicious
There are opportunities to be a hero all over the place,
but most decide the trouble is not simply worth it
Games most convicts are good at
* spades
* Chess
* Handball
Staying in shape is a lot easier than getting in shape
All philosophers are detectives, but not all detectives are philosophers
Be more afraid of not trying than failing
First rule of psychedelics:
Don’t talk about what you haven’t done
4 AM almost always still counts as the middle of the night
You will not science yourself out of your shortcomings.
You will sell yourself during the process tho
The only way a superior intellect would lose is if it chooses to be captured by its own emotions.
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This is why you have hot women dating douche bags.
You can avoid 80% of drama simply with a good tone
Knowledge without experience is just thinking
Nobody trains harder than a procrastinator
If you’re a bodybuilder, and you do not have some kind of eating disorder, then you are either~
~A brand new bodybuilder
~A very small bodybuilder
~Or a very experienced, probably retired bodybuilder
If you got jacked in jail, then you’re an honorary athlete at the least
Good training results in steroid accusations
Dumbbell pounds are a third heavier than a barbell pound
Real adepts care more about how you rack & rerack than your actual set
It is not wise for adepts to date activists..
The best part about holidays in the gym is that the amateurs and activists always skip them
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And so do half the athletes
You know you got an artist when you see their campsite by the leg press
Taking someone’s plates is fighting words
Ain’t nothing more comical than someone maxing out the pin-loaded machines
Doing polymerics at Planet Fitness without setting off the alarm is its own resistance game
“I’ll figure it out when I get there”
-artists & above only
If you cite studies, then you’re an amateur,
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If you cite stories, then you’re an artist
Fitness personalities to be aware of
- Nervous Nancy
- Sir Lifts- a -lot
- King Douche
- (to be continued)
Wisdom is knowing which activists will vacate the machine within 3 min vs. those who will camp for 13 min
LA fitness is the most pretentious of all the gyms
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Golds gym is the most douchey
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Planet Fitness is the most insecure
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Fitness Connection is the most ratchet
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Anytime Fitness is the most unpredictable
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Workout Anytime is the most intoxicated
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Crunch is the most sporty (and annoying)
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Lifetime has the most seniors
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The Y is the most self-righteous
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The park is the most sketchy
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The track is the most boring
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The pool is the most disgusting
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The wall is the most frightening
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The bag is the most frustrating
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The sled is the most practical
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The barbell is the most dynamic
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The streets are the most unforgiving
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The mats are the most humbling
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The woods are the most enlightening
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The skateboard is the coolest
If you see roofers driving around slowly in your neighborhood,
then you’re about three hours away from Canvasers knocking on your door
Even the nicest house has roaches somewhere
Dragons are just a test to see who takes shit too seriously or not
Few things you can’t achieve with a heavy stick and a few minutes alone each day
You don’t have to spend much time at just about any coffee shop before you run into some recovery heads,
…
Just look for anyone carrying a big blue book around with a smile
If you wanna hide something, the best place to do is behind something slightly inconvenient
Those who go to the doctor more are sicker than those who go less
Muscle comes and goes,
But developing strange dietary skills stays forever
Ordering food with “no salt” is just a way to trick the fast food restaurant into making something fresh*
(Then just keep extra salt on standby)
If a human mind made the multiple-choice test,
Then when in doubt, pick C
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The 3rd option is the most common correct answer
Psys will teach you that the greatest adventure can be from your own couch
Magic is just awareness management
Caffeine is the real liquid courage
Jokes on Hollywood elites,
House parties in the lower-middle-class suburbs hit harder than any other
It’s rough at first, but the best way to fall in love with something is to be forced to suffer alongside it for years and years and years until you can’t envision life without it
Those who threaten to fight when they feel threatened never actually know how to fight
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Those who laugh when threatened to fight certainly do though
Life is just a game of seeing what you would do in “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” circumstances
A “spell” is really just a term for a consciousness algorithm
Part of the reason why disclosure isn’t gonna happen is that part of it is confirmation that the moon is in fact, man-made
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And sadly, it is not cheese 🧀
DARPA is just Hogwarts
Health is really just 80% movement & 20% herbs and spices
You receive a special spiritual promotion the day you strangle a cop and get away with it
Evil demons are not actually running the world
…
People with stupid resentments are.
McDonald’s is just a secret CIA emotional development operation
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For employees and customers alike
The real secret suburban syrup is “Dawn dish soap”
If we are all spiritual children in an educational school, then the Catholics are the kindergartners
Lying on the floor still counts as getting out of bed
You really don’t need to separate colors when doing laundry
You can put the food in the oven while it’s preheating and everything is gonna be OK
…
Just throw on an extra couple minutes
Any fact is only as good as its frame 🖼️
Any true fitness enthusiast is probably addicted to all kinds of high-level expensive prissy supplements just to help make it through the day
Weight plates don’t have to be so boring
True success requires the ability to make amends
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Which means you have to be a dick sometimes to create the situation to make amends
Wisdom is worth money
…
Money is not worth wisdom
You can only get to heaven after rebuilding hell
If they’re willing to gossip about a public figure, then you can guarantee that they’re willing to do it about a private figure too
Those who actually do have psychic powers are not going to be accidentally exploding cars and shit
…
They’re likely just going to be abusing drugs
Sometimes you can use one character defect to defeat another
A cape offers emotional protection as well as thermal protection