Only quote scripture if you are in church
…
Otherwise, you are doing more harm than good to everybody except your own ego or whoever else is already drunk on the same Kool-Aid

 

Jokes age better than feelings



Cigarettes get better with the less clothes that you have on



Roasting somebody is the highest form of unconditional love because you are literally stating the conditions in which the person should be disqualified, 
but by your greater actions, you are actually reinforcing the fact that you still love them regardless



Only thing worse than getting your ass beat, 
is getting your ass beat by somebody with a ponytail



When competing, always lead with the basics
…
Cuz winning is much sweeter if your opponent fucks up over some basic shit



Anyone overly nice to you just wants something from you



You know it’s gotten out of hand when you got all three dating apps going , and you still think everyone else is the problem 



If someone wears a jiu-jitsu shirt in public, then you have permission to sneak attack them



Real Demons are just those afraid of doing the work to clean up their own mess



Whenever a fboy gains a bit of muscle, it usually goes to their head first



Everybody acts tough until they think it’s all about to be taken away,
Then they overreact in a disingenuous way 



You learn the most about yourself when you do small simple acts of service 



You can get through anything once you are institutionalized 



True salesmanship is emotional verbal endurance grappling
…
And if you don’t know that, then you’re not even a white belt 



Any food from a vending machine counts as fuel 
…
Except beef jerky in rare cases



Late nights & weekends is when the emotional warriors train 



If you’ve never worked in construction or a kitchen, then you probably don’t understand how most men are functioning alcoholic superheroes



Everyone’s real tough until they’re sitting in a circle having to spill their guts



If you ever see someone burning regular ass clothes or household goods, be very suspicious



There are opportunities to be a hero all over the place,
but most decide the trouble is not simply worth it



Games most convicts are good at
* spades
* Chess
* Handball


Staying in shape is a lot easier than getting in shape



All philosophers are detectives, but not all detectives are philosophers



Be more afraid of not trying than failing 



First rule of psychedelics:
Don’t talk about what you haven’t done



4 AM almost always still counts as the middle of the night



You will not science yourself out of your shortcomings.
You will sell yourself during the process tho 



The only way a superior intellect would lose is if it chooses to be captured by its own emotions.
…
This is why you have hot women dating douche bags.



You can avoid 80% of drama simply with a good tone 



Knowledge without experience is just thinking


STREET SPIRITUALITY

Nobody trains harder than a procrastinator



If you’re a bodybuilder, and you do not have some kind of eating disorder, then you are either~
~A brand new bodybuilder
~A very small bodybuilder
~Or a very experienced, probably retired bodybuilder



If you got jacked in jail, then you’re an honorary athlete at the least



Good training results in steroid accusations



Dumbbell pounds are a third heavier than a barbell pound



Real adepts care more about how you rack & rerack than your actual set



It is not wise for adepts to date activists..



The best part about holidays in the gym is that the amateurs and activists always skip them
…
And so do half the athletes 



You know you got an artist when you see their campsite by the leg press 



Taking someone’s plates is fighting words 



Ain’t nothing more comical than someone maxing out the pin-loaded machines 



Doing polymerics at Planet Fitness without setting off the alarm is its own resistance game 



“I’ll figure it out when I get there”
-artists & above only 



If you cite studies, then you’re an amateur,
…
If you cite stories, then you’re an artist



Fitness personalities to be aware of 
- Nervous Nancy
- Sir Lifts- a -lot
- King Douche
- (to be continued)



Wisdom is knowing which activists will vacate the machine within 3 min vs. those who will camp for 13 min



LA fitness is the most pretentious of all the gyms
…
Golds gym is the most douchey 
…
Planet Fitness is the most insecure
…
Fitness Connection is the most ratchet 
…
Anytime Fitness is the most unpredictable 
..
Workout Anytime is the most intoxicated 
…
Crunch is the most sporty (and annoying)
…
Lifetime has the most seniors 
…
The Y is the most self-righteous 
…
The park is the most sketchy 
…
The track is the most boring
…
The pool is the most disgusting 
…
The wall is the most frightening 
…
The bag is the most frustrating 
…
The sled is the most practical 
…
The barbell is the most dynamic 
…
The streets are the most unforgiving
…
The mats are the most humbling 
…
The woods are the most enlightening 
…
The skateboard is the coolest

THE ART OF EXERCISE

If you see roofers driving around slowly in your neighborhood, 
then you’re about three hours away from Canvasers knocking on your door 



Even the nicest house has roaches somewhere



Dragons are just a test to see who takes shit too seriously or not



Few things you can’t achieve with a heavy stick and a few minutes alone each day 



You don’t have to spend much time at just about any coffee shop before you run into some recovery heads,
…
Just look for anyone carrying a big blue book around with a smile



If you wanna hide something, the best place to do is behind something slightly inconvenient 



Those who go to the doctor more are sicker than those who go less 



Muscle comes and goes,
But developing strange dietary skills stays forever



Ordering food with “no salt” is just a way to trick the fast food restaurant into making something fresh*
(Then just keep extra salt on standby)



If a human mind made the multiple-choice test,
Then when in doubt, pick C
…
The 3rd option is the most common correct answer 



Psys will teach you that the greatest adventure can be from your own couch



Magic is just awareness management 



Caffeine is the real liquid courage 



Jokes on Hollywood elites,
House parties in the lower-middle-class suburbs hit harder than any other



It’s rough at first, but the best way to fall in love with something is to be forced to suffer alongside it for years and years and years until you can’t envision life without it



Those who threaten to fight when they feel threatened never actually know how to fight
…
Those who laugh when threatened to fight certainly do though

SUBURBAN SECRETS

Life is just a game of seeing what you would do in “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” circumstances



A “spell” is really just a term for a consciousness algorithm



Part of the reason why disclosure isn’t gonna happen is that part of it is confirmation that the moon is in fact, man-made
…
And sadly, it is not cheese 🧀



DARPA is just Hogwarts



Health is really just 80% movement & 20% herbs and spices



You receive a special spiritual promotion the day you strangle a cop and get away with it



Evil demons are not actually running the world
…
People with stupid resentments are.



McDonald’s is just a secret CIA emotional development operation 
…
For employees and customers alike



The real secret suburban syrup is “Dawn dish soap”



If we are all spiritual children in an educational school, then the Catholics are the kindergartners 



Lying on the floor still counts as getting out of bed



You really don’t need to separate colors when doing laundry



You can put the food in the oven while it’s preheating and everything is gonna be OK
…
Just throw on an extra couple minutes 



Any fact is only as good as its frame 🖼️



Any true fitness enthusiast is probably addicted to all kinds of high-level expensive prissy supplements just to help make it through the day



Weight plates don’t have to be so boring



True success requires the ability to make amends 
…
Which means you have to be a dick sometimes to create the situation to make amends



Wisdom is worth money
…
Money is not worth wisdom



You can only get to heaven after rebuilding hell



If they’re willing to gossip about a public figure, then you can guarantee that they’re willing to do it about a private figure too



Those who actually do have psychic powers are not going to be accidentally exploding cars and shit
…
They’re likely just going to be abusing drugs  



Sometimes you can use one character defect to defeat another



A cape offers emotional protection as well as thermal protection





WHAT THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW