You know it’s gotten out of hand when you got all three dating apps going and you still think everyone else is the problem
It ain’t magic if they don’t go “how the fuck did he do that”
If someone wears a ju jitsu shirt in public then you have permission to sneak attack them
Skateboarding will teach you the importance of how to spin something
Ju jitsu will teach you that the difference between life and death can be just a little scoot
Real Demons are just those afraid of doing the work to clean up their own mess
whenever a fboy gains a bit of muscle, it usually goes to their head first
Everybody acts tough until they think it’s all about to be taken away,
Then they overreact in a disingenuous way
You learn the most about yourself when you do small simple acts of service
You can get through anything once you are institutionalized
True salesmanship is emotional verbal endurance grappling
And if you don’t know that, then you’re not even a white belt
Any food from a vending machine counts as fuel
Except beef jerky in rare cases
Anyone smart enough to play with puppets can recognize someone else’s technique
Late nights & weekends is when the emotional warriors train
If you’ve never worked in construction or kitchen, then you probably don’t understand how most men are functioning alcoholic superheroes
Everyone’s real tough until they’re sitting in a circle having to spill their guts
If you ever see someone burning regular ass clothes or household goods, be very suspicious
There are opportunities to be a hero all over the place,
but most decide the trouble is not simply worth it
Games most convicts are good at
* spades
* Chess
* Handball
You always maintain control during meditation,
You immediately surrender control during a psychedelic experience
Staying in shape is a lot easier than getting in shape
All philosophers are detectives, but not all detectives are philosophers
The best deeds are always anonymous
Be more afraid of not trying than failing
First rule of psychedelics:
Don’t talk about what you haven’t done
4 AM almost always still counts as the middle of the night
You will not science yourself out of your shortcomings.
You will sell yourself during the process tho
The only way a superior intellect would lose is if it chooses to be captured by its own emotions.
…
This is why you have hot women in dating douche bags.
You can avoid 80% of drama simply with a good tone
Knowledge without experience is just thinking
STREET SPIRITUALITY
If you got jacked in jail, then you’re an honorary athlete at the least
Good training results in steroid accusations
Dumbbell pounds are a third heavier than a barbell pounds
Real adepts care more about how you rack & rerack than your actual set
it is not wise for adepts to date activists..
Once that salt hits- it’s gonna hit you like a stimulant
(If you need it)
The best part about holidays is that the amateurs and activists always skip them
…
And so do half the athletes
You know you got an artist when you see their campsite by the leg press
Taking someone’s plates is fighting words
Ain’t nothing more comical than someone maxing out the pin loaded machines
Doing polymerics at planet fitness without setting off the alarm is its own resistance game
“I’ll figure it out when I get there”
-artists & above only
If you cite studies then you’re an amateur,
If you cite stories then you’re an artist
Fitness personalities to be aware of
- Nervous Nancy
- Sir Lifts- a -lot
- King Douche
Wisdom is knowing which activists will vacate the machine within 3 min vs those who will camp for 13m
LA fitness is the most pretentious of all the gyms
Golds gym is the most douchey
Planet fitness is the most insecure
Fitness Connection is the most ratchet
Anytime Fitness is the most unpredictable
Workout Anytime is the most intoxicated
Crunch is the most sporty (and annoying)
Lifetime has the most seniors
The Y is the most self-righteous
The park is the most sketchy
The track is the most boring
The pool is the most disgusting
The wall is the most frightening
The bag is the most nerve wracking
The sled is the most practical
The barbell is the most dynamic
The streets are the most unforgiving
The mats are the most humbling
The woods are the most enlightening
The skateboard is the coolest
THE ART OF EXERCISE
Few things you can’t achieve with a heavy stick and a few minutes alone each day
secret three step process to staying lean:
1. Be broke
2. Be pothead
3. Be restless
You don’t have to spend much time at just about any coffee shop before you run into some recovery heads,
Just look for anyone carrying a big blue book around.
If you wanna hide something, the best place to do is behind something inconvenient
Those who go to the doctor more are sicker than those who go less
Muscle comes and goes
But developing strange dietary skills stays forever
Never good when you see some people walking in your neighborhood with tablets
The right song hits harder than preworkout
Ordering food with “no salt” is just a way to trick the fast food restaurant into making something fresh*
Then just keep extra salt on standby
It’s better to have a small snack in the beginning of the movie that way you may be hungry again by the end
If a human mind made the multiple choice test,
Then when it doubt, pick C
The 3rd option is the most common correct answer
Do the first step of something as fast and often as you can
Psys will teach you that the greatest adventure can be from your own couch
Magic is just awareness management
The Best thing is just being a normal dude
How to get over anything-
1. Ain’t no other way
2. Trust the process
3. Get started
4. Write it out
5. Talk it out
6. Be honest
7. Be willing
8. Get ready to make it right
9. Grow up time
10. Keep your word
11. Update / upgrade
12. Give it away to keep it
It takes more than energy to frown instead of smiling,
But it takes next to zero energy to maintain a solid RBF
Caffeine is the real liquid courage
Jokes on Hollywood elites,
House parties in the lower middle class suburbs hit harder than any other
To be extraordinary,
Just do the ordinary but be extra about it
Give your body a specific part to repair before it decides to destroy itself
It’s rough at first, but the best way to fall in love with something is to be forced to suffer alongside it for years and years and years
Those who threaten to fight when they feel threatened never actually know how to fight
…
Those who laugh when threatened to fight certainly do though
SUBURBAN SECRETS
The one sneaky benefit of having an anxiety disorder is that it turns everything new thing into zone five plyometrics
Imagine the greatest scientific revelation of all time just being some shit that people have known forever
There’s only one way to learn the art of forgiveness,
And that is to get fucked over 1 million times and still be cool with it
You either find a way to deal with temptation or you find a way to deal with the treadmill
Following rules just because you’re afraid of breaking them isn’t true integrity,
It’s just a different form of “bitchass”
You can learn the most about somebody from their face and from their ass
If you are too addicted to your own routine, then you are as good as resentful
It is worse to be neurotic and celibate than it is to be promiscuous and reasonable
Imagine trying to build a new life but the only tool you have is a shovel
For most hot people, being attractive is the worst thing that ever happened to their philosophical well-being
A podcast that you retain is better that a college lecture that you don’t
you can’t learn forgiveness until you’ve been truly fucked over
RuneScape taught me that the worst thing that could ever happen to you if you go into the wild was to run into a high-level magician
Dudes think by getting big, they will attract women,
but they just attract other insecure dudes
Biohacking doesn’t work unless you’re ready to be uncomfortable in one area to improve another
Becoming a writer & a comedian is a lot like becoming sick with vampirism.
Starts off slow,
But you start becoming nocturnal,
Then it Becomes very difficult to be around certain people,
Then You Have a sudden thirst for blood ,(philosophically speaking)
But can only get inside those who invite you in (philosophically speaking)
…
Other similarities include;
-Everything gets super esoteric
-being broke as fuck and forced to reside in strange caves
-Becoming somewhat smelly
-Discovering accidental methods of extending life forever
-Rejected by society, you bounce around strange cults
Demons have a hard time fucking with an optimistic pothead
Kind of crazy how the best fathers usually didn’t have one
Better to hang with dumbbells than dumbassess
Any good art probably has some concerned parents behind it
The greatest evil is simply flipping the paradigm into believing that pain is a bad thing
Everyone dies in cold lonely circumstances.
Unless you’re part of the few that die during dramatic & honorable adventures
Only small dogs think they’re big dogs 🐕
Poison usually tastes better than medicine
Not so hard to believe that most people are childish souls reincarnated when you watch grown adults act like children
You can achieve all things with 3 types of sticks-
Super short (pen)
Long but light (mob stick)
Long but heavy (bb)
Push-ups actually do help you get better at doing math
…
Take that nerds
The ancients resorted to stones and symbolism cause they got tired of technology and overexplaining shit
IMAGINE THAT
Health is really just 80% movement & 20% herbs and spices
you receive a special spiritual promotion the day you strangle a cop a get away with it
Evil demons are not actually running the world,
People with stupid resentments are.
McDonald’s is just a secret CIA emotional development operation
The easiest way to win is simply to not be afraid of losing
The real secret suburban syrup is “dawn dish soap”
If we are all spiritual children in an educational school, then the Catholics are the kindergartners
Laying on the floor still counts as getting out of bed
You really don’t need to separate colors when doing laundry
You can put the food in the oven while it’s preheating and everything is gonna be OK
…
Just throw on an extra couple minutes
Any fact is only as good as it’s frame 🖼️
any true fitness enthusiast is probably addicted to all kinds of high-level expensive prissy supplements just to help make it through the day
Weight plates don’t have to be so boring
True success requires the ability to make amends
…
Which means you have to be a dick sometimes to create the situation to make amends
Wisdom is worth money,
Money is not worth wisdom
You can only get to heaven after rebuilding hell
If they’re willing to gossip about a public figure, then you can guarantee that they’re willing to do it about a private figure too
those who actually do have psychic powers are not going to be accidentally exploding cars and shit,
They’re going to be abusing drugs
Sometimes you can use one character defect to defeat another
A cape offers emotional protection as well as thermal protection
Pretty much every public bathroom you go into has got some kind of secret, crazy sex or cocaine history
4 phases of life
- teaching
- Training
- Testing
- Throwing it away
A True test must be delivered when you least expect it
…
So if you feel like shit unexpectedly, then congratulations you are actively being tested