ADHD Antics pt 1

Growing up, everybody tried to get me to stay still
And now they’re paying me to help them get moving more 

If you haven’t heard about the troubled teen industry, then boy, I’m not sure how you stumbled across my website first.
And it’s not sexy or exciting, but needs to be said.
This is a legitimate industry that has propped up around “out of control youth”.
They basically take asshole kids and put them in really terrible programs with little resources to maximize profit..
because there’s not exactly a group of people going around making sure these programs are up to code if you know what I’m saying …
Usually, 
they end up kidnapping you and taking you away to one of these places in the wilderness for “character building”.
But really it’s just the cheapest set & setting 
That they can feed you beanies and weenies in and call it nutrition.

ADHD is a combination of faulty biological malfunctioning almost always paired with significant amounts of trauma,
To the point where it’s almost impossible to separate the two.
And usually trauma hits first.
Either by some kind of event,
Or environmental poisons and toxins that buildup in our system & that degrade our bodies regular position of homeostasis. 
And then it’s a snowball down the steep hill
Of shit
And usually by the time you make it to adulthood,
You’ve either hid away by working all the time,
Or have become Some kind of functioning addict.

ADHD is just your brain commenting on everything without your permission

I remember when I started taking the Adderall, 
it made me feel so normal for such a little bit of time,
That the sheer amount of guilt that kicked in was overwhelming because I realized I had been so different for so long..
I now felt like I was wrong for not taking medication earlier in my life Because of how powerful it really was…
Lol It took less than six months before it destroyed me 😂 

ADHD really only describes 1/3 of the issue
And at the end of the day, 
it’s still just a construct for communication sake from one physician to the next,
Or from one sufferer to the next. 
Meaning,
 there is no true universal “ADHD malfunction” per se,
As most of it is actually trauma based and not a “chemical imbalance“.
But it is a fairly accurate description and FUNctional operational model for the signs and symptoms.
And the meds they often use do work short term wonders..
They just also work massive negative long term wonders ….
And can’t be the ideal solution.
Mostly due to the trauma side of things.

Amphetamines won’t rewire your brain for you,
But they’ll give you a little bit more motivation and energy to do it.
And help you not lose your shit as easy over super stupid stuff.
You just cannot forget about the biological debt you are accumulating every time you pop a pill
Sorry, not sorry

ADHD is constantly forgetting the shit you’ve actually done right due to an unconscious feeling that nothing is ever OK and good enough

Sadly, if I told a therapist half the shit I tell to the notepad, 
they would give me the completely wrong advice And would most likely cosign many of my destructive tendencies. 
I know because I used to hang out with therapists when they were off the clock..

If you take just a little tiny bit of caffeine before you go to meditate, it can actually help you sit still 🤷🏻‍♂️ 
At least that’s what they say for people who are hyperactive as fuck

You’re not from the suburbs and you don’t have anxiety if you’ve never worried about how an HVAC appointment can go south

ADHD is just alternating between things you really want to quit and others that you can’t stop
At various speeds 

Depression is being stuck in a bad loop with next to zero energy tools to escape it 

Happy depression is called creativity
Stressed depression is called ADHD
Sad depression is called depression 

If you got high serotonin but low dopamine, you’re gonna have a lot of really weird ideas

Another way of looking at it is that amphetamines are a one dimensional solution to a three-dimensional problem 
and 
if you use them long enough, 
you can make the problem much worse because of how unbalanced everything else gets 

On the other hand, 
mushrooms are four dimensional solution to a three-dimensional problem, 
and therefore not only help you balance multiple areas, 
but gives you additional insight that makes it easier and more enjoyable along the way 

Trauma’s first goal is to gaslight you for having it

You will register as clinically depressed before you have your morning coffee if you are dependent on it

Even the smallest problems can feel like the end of the world when you’re in the middle of them

Depression is when it’s hard to even do the bare minimum to take care of yourself 

Most of the time,
the only thing that is actually wrong,
is that you ate too many carbs..

before they gave me pills, 
they would just send me to another classroom,
Or to the office to call my parents. 
Which was by far the worst for trauma reinforcement 

the second that ego stress trauma is legitimately triggered, 
then your body must operate under different intellectual pathways.
And you can get stuck in fight mode or flight mode for months or even years..

They say people with ADHD like to rewatch older movies because it’s easier to focus (when you already have a sense of what’s gonna happen ) 
Pretty true ngl

ADHD ANTICS