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THOUGHTS I HEARD

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SUBURBAN SECRETS

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WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

6-2-26

62

Oh hello there $

Happy 2:20 AM $

Greetings from the front stoop
Is a slightly crispy morning
Both weatherwise and mobility wise, if ya know what I’m saying $

I wish more people recognized that mobility is just floundering around on the floor,
But in a way that actually earns you energy points and helps you feel better afterwards $

And your pets will learn to love it $$

I had a pretty decent first sleep
I’ve been falling asleep very quickly the past few days and sleeping very deeply.
All in all, I would say I get about three hours first shift and three or four hours the second on average. 
…
I usually do about five hours when in full go mode.
Which is still pretty crazy to me considering for most of my adult life I needed about 10 hours or else I was not functional physically or emotionally $

When you’re in build mode, you typically move slower and your body is gonna be resistant to spending energy.
When in burn mode, it is the opposite. 
…
Ironically, it is easier to build on the outside when burning on the inside,
And vice versa. $

I need to take a moment and give myself some credit
Not only have I been caught up on my edits and reviews and shit for a while, but I’m actually getting even more proficient to where I can add in some better quality reviews $

I am a professional at coming up with creative ways to criticize one’s self.
Constructively, of course
Roasting is just for comedy $

I’ve made a lot of predictions in my past,
Mostly wrong ones lol
But I am surprisingly precise with the big picture items.
So I’m gonna go out on a limb while knocking on said wood and make another…
…
That by the time you’re reading this, I will be in full burn mode.
And will probably be talking lots of different shit across many different platforms $

(Honestly, spot on lol)

In the short term, the plan is to keep it short and sweet as i get warmed up.
But in time, the endless amount notes I have on Fuckery will be released properly $$

Three years ago, I was focusing mostly on in person coaching out of a martial arts gym.
Two years ago, I was focusing on digital coaching while using a dozen different guides.
A year ago, I was focusing on rebuilding myself and my mental health after a pretty cliché relationship crash.
…
And after all of that, I’ve been able to consolidate everything into one training deck lol $

And I think I found a way to both release it for free and to kindly nudge the consistent to consider spending a little cash for the cause $

*Nudge nudge 💪🏻 
**Wink wink 😉 
…
***Dramatic drag 🚬 $

Trust me, 
the irony of talking about health so much while smoking something suspicious is not lost $

It probably looks bad,
But I would argue moderation is the hardest to manage.
Especially when it comes down to mind & mood altering substances.
…
Which is also why that topic is so controversial
It is pure philosophical fire 🔥 $

If you’re new here,
Would you view my smoking different if you learned that, it’s next to impossible for me to smoke more than five cigarettes within a day?
…
Or how I have poured out more alcohol than I’ve consumed in the past 15 years?
…
Or how by the grace of God and the help of AAA, I am able to maintain the fine balance between gas station heroin and psychedelic level cannabis?
…
And I’m able to score 30 K energy points every day
….
With a fuel budget of less than five dollars?
….
All the while, 
deep, deep, deep behind enemy lines of Fuckery in the war on drugs… $

All kidding aside,
And as grandiose and glorious as my future plans are,
The gratitude and the grace that I already have is enough compensation for 10 crucifixions lol $$$

The ancients really understood that at a certain point, you just gotta get the musket and get in line instead of trying to reason with these fucking fools $$$****

It is 7:23 AM
And boy I hope I have packed a lunch for the field trip that I’m already going on..
I am on the way to the gym after a cold shower and listening to some of the soundtracks from “into the wild”
When I say vibes… $

you know you’re going through it when your car alert lights are competing for your attention…
I got the gas light on and the tire light on lol
Hopefully that’s it for now knock on wood 🪵 $

I don’t know how someone could love this more than me
Consider that a challenge $$$

I’m deadass trying not to tear up in front of everyone lol
Best challenge ever $$

If home is where you don’t have to hide, then I’ve been homeless most my life $$

If you wear a one piece in the gym, you’re just going to look like a grape 🍇 $$$***

The ancients really knew that it was better just to get on the boat and see where the wind takes you then try to reason with the religious $$$***

You know you’re doing some truly profound spiritual shit when everybody else around you is acting extra fucked $$$

If you’re truly tapping into some higher consciousness magic shit, 
do not be surprised when your day-to-day world around you begins to shift… strangely.. $$

Remembering that the key to growth is removing the bullshit, 
it is also important to remember that sometimes exercising those tumors can be a little painful $$$

It is the second day of June and I am officially wearing a hoodie.
It is 67 degrees, overcast and chilly.
I’m not really complaining, but I am certainly surprised $

Trying too hard to prove otherwise is just as toxic as not trying at all $$

…
It’s best to give consistent, casual effort, and say fuck it after the third urge to quit lol $$

Because by the third time you return to the task, you will likely find you have proved your point already $$

I don’t want to inspire people just to run,
I want to inspire them to run through fucking walls $$$***

Because that is what it is going to take $$

Ironically , I think carpenters might be the best at breaking down walls..
Not just putting them up $$*

It is 10:48 AM on my sun walk when I found a penny on heads $

…
About 30 seconds after writing that last line lol $

I am also happy to announce an accidental but important personal best,
I have consumed less than 10 mg of the seven within 24 hours without even really trying.
I can’t take too much credit because I ran out yesterday and it took me a while to get more.
But like I noted, I had zero withdrawals or cravings or obsessions.
And once I did re-up, I used less than I would on a normal night.
So it is a small victory but a very important one because if I was reporting the opposite, that wouldn’t be too good lol $

I really don’t give myself enough credit for the past year of not only coming off amphetamines, but also reducing my overall net Kratom intake down by nearly 5x $

It never really got out of hand,
It was actually extremely consistent.
It was just on average five times more by volume lol $

Important to remind the world though when judging Kratom consumption you got a account for intent~
Meaning,
For a work boost, you’re talking 1 to 2 g at once.
For a big sedation buzz and then you’re talking 3 to 5 g
…
So here’s what I mean,
10 g throughout the day, every hour or two is very mild.
And
10 g split in half over three hours is also mild, just for a different buzz 🐝 
…
So someone saying they take 20 g a day doesn’t really mean much if you don’t recognize the context or frame $$$

I will add this though,
Pretty much anyone abusing Kratom is probably averaging 50 g a day regardless of how you divvy it up.
…
(adjusting for seven hydroxy, 
let’s say every milligram of 7 hydroxy is equal to 1 gram of plants) $$

Actually think that’s a pretty accurate scale $

So I guess if I’m being fair, then I’m actually probably around half.
But that’s just on paper.
Because half these tablets are underdosed for sure $

It is 1:01 PM and I’m happy to report that I finally finished transferring all of the scoring and I am at the final review phase which is when I get to the fun game of “find a flaw“ $

Dying has to be the key to eternal life because everything else is assbackwards anyway $

I don’t know why it’s so hard to believe in evil Satanists when you have crazy Christians on the street corners every Sunday 
…
If someone could be that motivated for the positive, then obviously they can be corrupted for the negative $$

And these people would only care about power and pain, and less about just giving you a pamphlet… $$$

Just thinking back to how this time last year, I was legitimately concerned that I was going to become diagnosed with hypertension because my blood pressure was so fucked $

This past year has been the hardest of my life, 
but definitely not the most painful.
..
The most painful was the year prior in a poor relationship lol $

Cats will always beat dogs for one reason-
They don’t bark $$***

I don’t want to live in a world in which I have control over anyone…
But I do wanna live in a world in which everybody has control over themselves $$$

I don’t give myself enough credit,
Right next to the Chinese place nearby where I’ve been doing a lot of dashing from, is a small little Christian dance studio,
And one of my first clients as a trainer four years ago was the owner.
She was one of the sweetest nicest clients that I had $

I never thought I’d have to learn how to keep it cool with tears in my eyes, but I’ve got a lot of practice by now 😎 $

It is 6:31 PM and I am lacing up at the park for as leisurely of a walk as I can trick myself into doing.
Trying to snag a dash or two on the way back, but I got lucky already a small one $

Only the timid try to look tough $$$*

What if the Jesus is just a character that you unlock as a community? $$

Any Health website that has advertisements shouldn’t be considered a Health website $$$************

The Forces of evil wants us to be restless just so we don’t read… $$

But jokes on them because I was a librarian in the past life and a skateboard3r in this one so I have officially mastered both worlds $$

Songs and paintings and all of that are cool to create, but games are top of the creation pyramid $$*

It is 9:17 PM and I am finally beginning to wind down the digital work lol
Another day of nonstop grind and edits
It starts off seemingly simple & ends up taking all day, of course $

But it is one for the record books for sure $

I could not be happier with the deck and all of the elements
They’ve come together far greater than I envisioned
But then again, that might be an exaggeration because this thing has been eating at me for 3 years now lol $

It is 10:13 PM
I don’t know how i did it…
I keep somehow making better eggs
Shout out to the chickens though for real.
And if anything, I guess I am proof positive that you can get away with the cheap eggs.
…
I dream of a day in which we have balanced everything out and are no longer referring to things like “cheap eggs”,
…
but until then it’s better to play the game and win then the bitch about it from the sidelines or the couch $

If you’ve ever seen the movie “into the wild“ just understand those are the vibes…
…
Alex is actually named after Christopher McCandless alias “Alexander Supertramp”
…
And if it is part of the prophecy that I end up going nomad here soon, then I trust AAA.
And this time I definitely mean both the philosophical and physical boys $

I am very optimistic
But I am learning how fine the line is between faith and expectations $$

They say expectations are premeditated resentments…
And that resentments are like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die $$

I was about to say that resentment doesn’t even taste good but boy am I mistaken on that.
That is most people’s favorite dish $$

…
Even though it burns, most prefer it cold. &
The more stale the better for these types $

I meant to note earlier-
The superstitious types are the most trustworthy $$$

it’s also pretty chilly honestly
Unusual for early June… $

I know I go on enough tangents, but I’m just getting more and more of an intuitive since that the level of evil that is around us and has been “controlling things“ for a while now, is far more “bitch ass” than originally expected $$$

I mean, there is a large group of people who would love nothing more than the opportunity to eat you… $$

…
Like
…
I don’t know what’s worse,
The cannibals, or the deniers $$$

OK, obviously the cannibals cause that shit’s hard to swallow…
…
Unlike flesh apparently… $$$

If you can’t understand why somebody would be that far gone,
The only Safeway to philosophically contemplate this would be to extrapolate out an experience you may have had in which you were either,
 doing some hood rat shit,
 or trolling for the sake of trolling or doing something you know you’re not supposed to and you got that thrill. $$

Even the minor shit can provide that kind of twisted excitement.
It’s like a weird sense of power,
And I’m convinced that there are some kind of ethereal entities that feed off that kind of energy.
Mostly because of their own bitch assness, of course. $$

But just as we have physical viruses… allegedly… 
that just makes the case stronger for the invisible counterpart $$

If you have everything, 
then the only thing you would want is what you don’t have, which is the shitty spoiled child paradox $$

You’d want Something that others couldn’t easily get,
Mostly so they can’t have it & less because it’s what you actually want
…
And if you buy into some bullshit that you are a lucky monkey, then it becomes easy to prioritize primal shit $$$*

But what’s worse is even the “innocent scientific belief system of today” still breeds unconscious pathways of taking the easy self-centered route $$$**

These types will argue biology,
In which case I will use their point against them.
Because the biological ego is the true enemy,
And religion and spiritual ritualism is the greatest philosophical technology that we have.
…
The ego will always find energy shortcuts because that is what it is designed to do.
You can try consume as much hustle porn as you want, 
but it will never transcend that internal governor the way that the love of “God” will $$$

You don’t have to believe in an all powerful Santa Claus,
Or even an super intelligent version of gravity,
But even the most hard-core atheist buys into the idea of love.
…
So scientifically speaking, 
any action that cultivates this, provides the greatest return on natural energy investments.
…
Therefore, evolution is just one big simulation on developing the highest and best forms of love and appreciation $$$

And you can’t learn shit without resistance $$***

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

6-3-26

63

Life is all about those fleeting moments that you’ll never get back
The secret is just about not holding on with a death grip $$$

Happy 3:05 AM
A perfect time to practice what I just preached $

*Grinder squeak $

I gotta say that was one of the best first sleep shifts I’ve had in a while.
Even though I didn’t lift yesterday, you could argue It was still one of the heaviest days of all time.. $

I haven’t gotten too far with the official final reviews and all that but just the peace that I have is enough to make me not feel so fucking crazy lol $

Being honest but a little dirty is better than being delusional and clean $$$*

It is always strange and yet somehow entertaining whenever a woman tells you to suck her dick lol $$*

Here’s a good app idea-
A Propaganda tracker
…
Basically it kind of runs in the background and scans for propaganda and alerts you accordingly.
But it also keeps track on a weekly and monthly and an annual basis and gives you a report to remind you that most of what you see is probably framed all sorts of fucked up. 
So that way, you can see more clearly the bullshit that you are being fed… $$$

I really don’t know why I am having such a fond flashback,
I must’ve been 9 years old,
It would’ve been early summertime and I would’ve been on a vacation with the family.
This one was unique as we were going to a Civil War battlefield in the Shenandoah Valley. 
And while en route, we went by a Walmart in which case I was able to make a very special purchase…
…
I’m gonna give you about three lines to make a guess because I guarantee you you’re never gonna see it coming
…
Here’s a hint or two…
…
It was less than $20,
…
It technically needed a parent to purchase due to age restriction,
…
It is considered a magnificent work of art
…
..
.
That’s right!
…
It was the brand new 50 Cent album: “the massacre”
…
..
.
You know the cover, the one where he is shirtless and angry, and there is a bullet hole in the glass?
…
I can’t imagine what my parents were thinking.
Because shockingly, they didn’t seem to read into it.
I’m sure they thought it was weird and I remember their original resistance, but if I was in their position, I probably would’ve just laughed my ass off $

I mean, that’s a pretty good little glimpse into my soul, apparently lol
Literally investigating the battlefield that I am quite certain I had been to before in a past life as a young kid while also trying to weasel a rap album for my CD player…
between playing Star Wars video games… when I wasn’t skateboarding… 🛹 $

I mean, I’m not kidding when I say I can still remember that weird nostalgia feeling right now In this moment that I experienced as a kid.
And then, I had no idea and no frame of reference for it so I didn’t really read into it.
It wasn’t until I dug deep enough with all of the self inventories and solitude soul searches that I began to recognize that familiar feeling $

Memory is not stored in the brain,
Therefore, the best way to strengthen one’s memory is to build a better radio.
Therefore, aging done correctly should improve ones recall
Especially emotionally speaking $$

But anytime you start talking about strengthening someone’s emotions, that is like the HOV lane to troll city 🌃 $$$*

By definition, if you need to challenge something to reveal its potential,
And if by definition emotions must be felt in their entirety to be appreciated,
…
Then it doesn’t take a mathematician to understand the formula to Fuckery $$

The secret to emotional management is just extreme internal ownership $$$

If you knew for a fact that you were being trolled by some kind of invisible philosophical fuck boy, 
You would instantly feel better about yourself due to just understanding the framing of the Threat 
…
It’s kinda like even the most emotionally toxic people can keep their shit together if they recognize they need to just to spite somebody. $$$

The key to patience is proper framing of a situation $$***

What on the worst feelings is that moment you realize you overreacted out of fear and should’nt have worried as much $$$

It’s extra shitty because hindsight turns to gaslighting real quick if you “mean too well“ $$$*

Everybody needs to be fooled every now and then though to stay humble.
Or at least fooled enough until they realize it ain’t so bad being foolish $$$

Pretty much all progress with anything started with someone just fucking around $$*

*Lighter flick

Regarding high strangeness and the paranormal, 
And egghead atheists,
You know it only takes one verified instance of physics falling apart to essentially destroy that paradigm right? $$$

I don’t know what’s worse,
Living in a world in which millions of people are simply lying about the most important shit just “cuz”,
Or being so biased that you’re not even willing to look at the evidence
 (or apathetic..) $$

So either they’re all lying…
Or you don’t wanna do homework? 📚 $$$

Obviously, I mean that “you” generally, dear reader,
Even though I’m talking to the general readers 🦌 $

I’m sure you probably bought the same bullshit that I have if you’ve read this far lol $$

Either way, I am grateful that you are here and I hope you keep coming back
…
But I can make no promises as to what kind of shit you may find here or on any other wall lol $

Writing religiously may be the closest one can get to understanding what religion was writing about. $$*

It is both infinite and fixed
The possibilities are endless, but the outcome was likely already determined.
It is one color contrasted against another with special squigglys.
If you don’t understand the secret patterns, then it everything just seems pointless.
…
And during the moments in which one’s attention is fully captured, time and space dissolve, and become as a small ball in the palm of one’s hand.
…
Or maybe more like a small stick in someone’s hand.. $$

Some dude’s biggest problem seriously is their own penis lol $$$

And I mean both physically and philosophically and not in a good way 😂 $$

And by “some”, 
I mean pretty much everyone except for the few who have outgrown it and learn how to manage the dragon 🐉 $

Cause there are two types of dudes in this world-
Ones led by their dick,
And others who aren’t anymore $$*

I guess you could argue the third category is the overly righteous types who have not even gotten in the game yet $$

Kind of like those old monks back in the day,
I think that was some of the biggest bitch ass shit of all time.
…
You can’t Go hide away from temptation and call it strength training
…
You’re not gonna be that enlightened if you’re literally sitting in the dark all the time $$$

True spiritual understanding comes from an unfortunate but desperate need for philosophical first aid,
 mostly because temptation won’t leave you the fuck alone. $$$***

Fuckery follows your every move and tries to control your every thought.
And just when you think you’ve seen all of the tricks, 
it comes up with some new poison or a new protocol to better manage the prison populous $$$*

True leadership is being buried under an ungodly amount of bullshit That is genuinely not your fault, and still being happily responsible for the results $$$

You don’t always have to call 411 to get the waterworks, sometimes the right song at the wrong time will do just fine 🥹 $$

If it is a sign of maturity when one can separate video game behavior from real life behavior, 
then I imagine it functions the same with spiritual matters $

Life is not about winning or losing
It is about laughing
…
Usually at losers… 😉 $$$

Hiding is not the same as lying $$$

Not to brag but I’ve already smiled & greeted 3 people on my sunwalk $

When someone wants to be rude, they may drag their feet, figuratively speaking, in the smallest of ways.
Just enough to not illicit confrontation, but enough to express their bitch ass intent. $$$

If you don’t know why they won’t release all of the UFO shit, just envision a jealous child when they found out their brother got a better toy $$$***

What if demons are just spiritual narcs?
…
And their whole point is to trap the wicked
…
And you can’t honestly tell who is wicked or not unless they’re in a sincere position to do some evil shit
…
And you can’t condemn them as evil unless they actually commit some kind of act
… $$

Geometry is just the art of connectedness $$*

Not so hard to believe that evil people are trying to end the world when the gen pop acts like it has already happened.. $$$

If you call yourself a philosopher, but you are not fit,
then you are not fit to call yourself a philosopher $$$***

Another humble grocery hall in the books,
This time just 18 eggs, a gallon of water and a four pack of butter $

I am very proud of myself for only having three hits of cannabis and a quarter tab of the seven hydroxy all day long.
And yet my productivity wouldn’t have noticed.
And my emotional well-being was pretty good too.
I am most proud about how I am handling all of this existential stress once more. $

Oh yeah, I also still have a few cigarettes left that I was able to avoid smoking all day long, fairly easily $

It is 8:29 PM and just a few minutes away from sunset and from basically doing the opposite of everything I just mentioned lol $

Rich people do not order DoorDash,
Depressed people do $$*

You are not faulted for withholding the truth from those who cannot handle it.
…
You are faulted for making a bad judgment call though so Choose wisely 😂 $$$

If you can get carried away and go on a violence spree, 
then I think it you can get carried away and go on a random act of kindness spree much easier,
With much better results $$

Most people that are restless, don’t actually have ADHD.
They just have a lot of repressed unfinished shit that they really should be doing something about.
…
But there is a group that is genuinely a little cracked biologically lol
…
Only those who are also truly cracked understand this,
 while those who are just hiding some shit will react sideways $$

At this point,
Considering how truth is the ultimate healer,
If half the shit going through my head was just a lie or actual insanity, 
then there’s no way I would be as healthy as I am.
That’s not to imply I am actually all that healthy,
Even though I kinda am,
I’m saying that the amount of bullshit I’m dealing with would butcher anyone without proper philosophical training. $

I can totally see why some people would consider some psychic people schizophrenic tho lol $$

Dude, it is so weird how cold it is for the first week of June.
I keep thinking it’s October or some shit
I swear to God, it was hotter in April $

Most things in life should have a proper “get to/got to” ratio $

(I get to do this vs I have (got) to do this )

It’s 9:28 PM
Happy to report a borderline miracle Dash late right after sunset $

New wall idea:
Confessions of a suburban shithead $*

Few things will teach you the value of every single second in every minute like isometrics will.
Both physically and philosophically $$*

At this point that might be another column honestly~
“Physically and philosophically“ $*

Kidding aside, I am enjoying the nice fall, nostalgic flashbacks
Thanks to the weather $

I’m not even kidding…
Just had the best bowl of eggs ever 🪺 $

Everything tastes better when seasoned with self satisfaction $$$***

You can debate whether Jesus was a demigod or not, 
but you can’t question that motherfucker’s faith 
..
Homie had resolve $$





THJ 
Social 


Food:
Butter 
Eggs
Water
5$

Candy 
40m
Pre
14$

Fuel
Squirt
Electy 
Gas
$7

$26

$12

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

6-4-26

64

Happy 2:14 AM to everybody except my old best friend who stole my hookah when I was 15 $$$

Are you ready for a story because we’re coming in hot? $

This was an event that I had repressed apparently.
This is one of the first smoking tools I ever had
…
And it was one of the coolest $

Back then, it was very difficult to acquire such goods.
The hoops you had to jump through often involved finding someone’s older sibling and finessing them into buying shit for us without snitching $$

Somehow someway the beginning of summer 2009, we were able to get enough cash to get the right older idiot to buy us a midsize hookah
…
And when you are less than 30 days past 15 years old, that is a big deal lol $

It was so big that it was very difficult to hide $$

…
… that’s what she said… 🫣 $

So it was hidden at our smoking spot nearby. Only two people knew about the location-
Me and the friend I was withz
Who unfortunately is in the hall of infamy for being an active “fuck boy“ $

This is one of his first crimes against his friends.
As less than three days after purchasing it, once i went down to use it with another friend, we were quickly disappointed once we realized it had been stolen $

It would take my friend several months to eventually admit it.
…
And honestly, I’m not quite sure what happened after that $

(Time to trail off now…)

And honestly, I’m not quite sure where that memory came from or why, but it was a pretty big deal back then
…
… I guess about 17 years ago now $

Jesus fucking Christ, I’m getting old.
I’m gonna be 32 years old if I survive another 3 days .
I mean, that really is some Jesus shit lol $

That motherfucker was crucified by the time he was 33 though $$

Now, it was kind of sad and kind of funny when I started smoking again at age 27 after nearly a decade of absence.
Because when I quit, I was basically public enemy number one in my own neighborhood just for being a pothead…
…
And now I can buy pot while smiling and waving at the cops while walking into the candy store in the adjoining parking lot lol 🤦‍♂️ $$

My first legal drink was exactly 9 years to the minute of when I graduated rehab
Was 20’12-21 
(It took me until this minute to appreciate the aesthetic of that stretch) $

I was so traumatized in so many weird ways
And the healthy brainwashing from all of the recovery meetings made things very complex $

The truth is,
There was about six months between when I officially left the program to when I had a mystical experience with psychedelics that really changed shit.
…
During that time was when I was mostly smoking and had just discovered Kratom.
Even then, however, my use was controlled, I was just depressed as fuck and very much beginning to slip Hope wise. $

My point is to attest to the power of the 12 steps $$$

In a classic contradictory fashion, I say while I rip the bong lol $

But if you truly practiced the principles in all of your affairs for long enough, 
you can truly rewire your brain and become a different person $$$**

To be clear ~
I am not recommending anyone resign their recovery.
I am enforcing the whole “one day at a time“ attitude, 
and the “never say never“ 
and the “miracles come true if you work for them“ attitude $$$

I promise you I never thought I’d be saying or doing this.
I would’ve thought I went off the deep end.
..
And I guess in some ways I have,
I’ve just gotten good at how to take a dive lol $$

(Pilots are good at nosedives ✈️ )

The other truth is,
in our current community, the secret Society recovery rates are still tragically low $$$***

It is because you are asking compromised people to compete with the biological bogeyman with only strangers and spiritual philosophy
…
And that shit only works for apparently about 7% of people on a Goodyear $$

We have to try something different $$$

And outside of those who are actually considered addicts,
 are the neurotics that are nearly everywhere.
Ironically, They are the most afflicted with “bitch assNess” $$

Usually, the cases are quite serious. 
It is just that birds of a shit feather flock to shit together.
So in some cases, their impacts are isolated $$

These are the types that could really benefit from having the 12 steps rammed down their throat $$$

Because I unfortunately don’t think anyone’s gonna actually work those bitches (Steps) unless there’s some serious shit on the line $$

These neurotic types are usually the self enslaving and depreciating types too $$

…
They hide away from the consequences of their cognitive dissonance.
& It doesn’t take long before the routine of hiding from opportunity becomes comfortable.
…
These types will do anything to escape a little bit of fear.
It’s just that they’re equally afraid of substances of a certain type, which is the only reason why they don’t actually descend into addiction $$

They are equally as afraid of healthy food and activity though which keeps them reliant on the sick care system $$

AnyWho,
That is my tangent about health
Time to polish off a cigarette lol $

And probably yell at coyotes because I can hear these bitches yapping $

You do not fuck with cats in this neighborhood $$$**************

If you fuck with a cat in this neighborhood you will be cursed. 
I don’t give a fuck what species you are. $$$$$$$$$$$$

The ancients are watching.
Consider that warning, any bitch ass entities… $$$$

….
You might as well fuck on off $$$

Don’t worry, dear reader that was not directed at you 🦌 $

AnyWho,
My current plan is to use the last three dollars on some electrolytes and squirt before the gym.
And then do some fishing afterwards to hopefully snag a miracle Dash or two,
Then refill the candy and turn attention towards scrounging up a little extra to catch up on some expenses $

But the exciting part is that I should at some point be actually back available to doing some form of consult/marketing/promotion.
I just can’t force it so I don’t know when exactly all of these creating activities will turn into coaching $

I really am not sure the dynamic my coaching will take either.
I am truly on the verge of going nomad as well…
Mostly due to family issues.
To be honest, I’m actually kind of afraid there’s no way to avoid that at this point.
…
This whole financial situation has rotted the relationships to their foundation and it just seems like there’s a real chance I am gonna be pulled away from here $

My secret master plan though is to somehow start selling a lot of books and be able to afford to go nomad instead of being forced to lol $$

Happy 7:33 AM from partly through my son walk $

One of my favorite parts about the gym is the mystery behind everybody.
…
Meaning, you have people that look like superheroes on the outside then you find out they are a delivery driver lol $$

Sometimes the worst part is just fucking waiting an extra hour unexpectedly..
…
So Shout out to Aldi for being a bunch of bitches and opening at 9 AM which is late as fuck for a grocery store $($$)

If the food smells better than it tastes , then you were just BioHacked $$$***

It is 9:03 AM and just survived the delay to get some caffeine and electrolytes.
Sounds simple and silly, but I know a lot of people who would kill another human being if their coffee was an hour late ⏰ $$

I just spilled a little water by my crotch so now I get to look like I pissed myself lol $

Just thinking back to how about one of the most horrifying things in my life was simply riding in the car with my grandma before we took her license away $$

Only reason why they say Jesus was a carpenter is because he was the best at framing shit $$***

The gym is just staring at shit while getting stressed physically.
Which is “heaven” $$*

People are just walking possibilities
…
But some are just walking problems… $$

Shit gets sketchy real quickly when you start determining which questions you should and shouldn’t ask $$$

No such thing as an inappropriate question.
But there are definitely inappropriate responses.. $$

You gotta be nice to people driving obnoxious fucked up trucks.
They clearly don’t have much else going on $$$

It is 12:31 PM
Currently fishing in uptown mint hill.
Just snagged a dash for about five dollars and around a mile and a half.
Very clutch.
Trying to get one more before candy and fuel.
Found an amazing chilling spot by the church that I used to have Boy Scouts at when I was a kid.
Just gotta say that you cannot beat a king on his home turf $

I’d want nothing more than to collect innocent souls too if I was the biggest pussy ass loser in all of known existence
…
Cough, cough, Satan cough cough $$**

It is 1:41 PM
I am back home after a very impressive morning.
Zero herbs and only two shots of squirt.
And several unexpected inconveniences and just hanging out in hot cars basically lol
…
But how good I feel is very noteworthy.
It is moments like this that validate all my theories and my suspicions from the past year.
There is an element of just simply recovering better each day from the hell of last year.
But the biggest Takeaway is simply the removal of stress and the prioritization of the mission $

You should avoid labeling things as often as possible.
You should, however, name things as often as possible $$$

…
Naming something automatically shares a sense of connectedness and establishes a new unique memory $$

The secret to life is just don’t take advice from angry people lol $$$***

Considering the superpowers that are found by working the 12 steps and by mastering salesmanship, 
I have no excuse if I fail to take over the world for the positive tbh $***

It is 4:47 PM
I am very happy to report that I made 5mg of the seven last 36 hours very comfortably.
I obviously missed having my normal working buzz and chill time buzz but physically I had no withdrawals or anything of the sort.
Once again, reinforcing my theory that under 15 mg a day and there are really no major biological side effects $

The next challenge, however, is making one cigarette last the entire evening..
And I have been averaging about three per day recent.
So we shall see how that goes.. $

(Spoiler- it was easy peasy 😎)

Back then, 
The boys really were willing to take a musket ball in the belly than miss out on the opportunity for honor. 
… 
If we had a third of that energy today, we would not have many problems $$$***

I wish I could show you my new invisibility cloak but that would defeat the purpose he he $$

 the human body is about 70% water and about 30% microplastics at this point $$$

You can make it through just about any of life storms with cannabis $$$

…
The alcoholic nervous Nancy’s would love to differ though $$

Imagine being incarnated in the most Devine vehicle in literally all of time and just being like “I don’t care” $$$

You wouldn’t go to the gas station every evening and overfill your tank to the point to where it spills over to your interior,
And yet most are doing much worse than this with fueling their own body $$$

(lol read it all before you flip you lid)

If you don’t even TRY to exercise, then you are kind of being a bad person.
…
Keyword is try
…
And “bad“ is just referring to you not being as good as you could be. Which effects the whole team
…
I didn’t say evil, to be clear 
…
Fear is bad,
Laziness is bad,
Insecurity is bad,
Excuses are bad,
So what possible argument could counter? 
…
If time is the excuse, then I would challenge that rationale and just simply say that knowledge and/or creativity is the real issue.
…
Which is very understandable, especially in the beginning. 
…
Especially with eggheads making everything harder than it needs to be just so you’re impressed by them…  
…
..
.
But the science is clear that you only need between 3 to 30 minutes a day, in as little as three times per week. 
…
When more time is spent eating & scrolling than even investigating how energy could be spent,
 Then the issue is more philosophical and less physical. $$$

But the physical consequences are no joke
…
If I could wave a magic wand and gift anyone the feeling of being fit for five minutes, 
I guarantee you that nobody would never accept their current state of suffering again. $$$

So in many ways, you cannot be faulted for not knowing what you don’t know.
But you are definitely going to be judged for not even trying to find out $$***

I haven’t been this hangry in a while, bro.
But I’m not even hungry,
I just want to kill everybody for the slightest inconveniences $

I’m not even kidding though
 if I didn’t know any better, this shit would be very concerning.
…
I understand most people walk around like this is as a normal resting baseline.
…
But I cannot possibly imagine that because this is so miserable.
My own bitchassness is just unreal right now.
…
I wanted to rip somebody’s head off, 
just for taking too long to check me out at the store.. $

(Economically, not sexually lol)

Every tiny thing feels like a personal insult in this state of consciousness $$

But in other news, I was able to snag a decent dash $

I’m gonna fucking kill voice to text $$

Kidding aside though if I’ve ever killed anyone in the past life, 
I’m certain it was in this state of mind because that would be the easiest thing to do right now… $

Bro, I do not understand why I am so angry right now.
…
I mean, I literally do.
I’m just being dramatic because of how dramatic this feels for no fucking reason.
…
Everything is pretty good and I can’t really complain.
And I actually feel fine from a fueling perspective.
…
I just want to inflict pain lol $

I have a theory that sometimes when people read this shit, I almost get kind of like a “sense”
Usually, it’s positive I can almost tell if somebody’s laughing.
But sometimes I get waves of bitch assness that make me nearly sick.
…
So if I can pick up on the positive, then I am suspicious every now and then when my guard is lowered, I can be susceptible to the negative $$

Obesity is not an accident.
It is also not healthy at all $$$

And pretending to justify it even just a little bit is evil $$$

And just because that bothers some people’s feelings, that doesn’t mean they don’t need to lose some weight $$$

I Kind of feel like that last bit is a response to whatever ethereal fuck shit vibes are being sent my way lol $*

Just saying I’d rather be on the team with the fit people than the fat people.. $$

And honestly, I can just picture a self-righteous lard, just hating on every single syllable that I write $

(Which is impressive they can even read this much while hating so hard) 😘 

Truth be told, there’s probably a lot of of them.
And it’s probably something I’m still subconsciously afraid of which is why all of this shit took so long to get done ✔️ $$

But at least I’m willing to admit when I’m scared or fearful. $

…
I’m also not afraid of looking foolish.
And I guarantee you that being able to say that is more powerful than anything else 
…
And is only realized in one way,
And that’s the 10,000 reps it takes to be able to get over one’s own bullshit $$*

Pretty hard to get over yourself when you won’t even look in the mirror.. 🪞 $$$

9:48 PM and I just had the second bowl of the day
Gain bowl 😉 $

I am very happy with how little hunger I had all day with a little electrolytes.
I’m honestly kind of suspicious now,
Cause I trained pretty hard earlier and I didn’t really need anything extra throughout the day.
I didn’t even have extra caffeine,
And I didn’t have to take that many salt shots.
To be fair, I didn’t have to do as much creative work so that would explain why cognitively I didn’t spin myself out every two hours.
…
But it’s pretty crazy how certain intellectual tasks will literally use more sodium than some training will
…
Mostly because your brain is a big battery obviously.
But I think that your pathway’s function as in intellectual muscles.
So even though they are not visible, they still consume a shit load of energy based on the task requirement $$

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

6-5-26

65

Good morning world $

It is 1:47 AM
A perfect time to start this new Michael Jackson documentary on Netflix $

What do you think about him?
Is he the king of Pop?
Or just another creep? $

I’m not gonna lie, I’ve always leaned towards the latter.
But I still wouldn’t turn off his songs when they started playing… $

But now there is a good case to be made that he was innocent and it really was just to set up,
At least I think that’s what this documentary is all about $

Any man who wants to hang out with kids though is sus.
You rarely hear about women doing dirty shit $$$***

You know what,
This motherfucker just looks creepy as shit.
And I know it sounds elementary, but honestly these days I’m going with my gut.
…
You don’t end up going through that kind of radical transformation on “accident”.
It only happens at the end of a long series of strange fucked up events $

I’m terribly sorry, but I get a gut wrenching feeling when I look at Michael Jackson $

OK, maybe I’m not sorry
I don’t care what the motives are, sleeping in the same bed as a kid is as fucked as it seems. $$$

I mean, if the claim is that he was set up then someone still has to explain to me his decision-making with literally every other area..
There is just too much shit that is suspect $

You don’t give a kid the nickname “blow hole” innocently.
If MJ thought he was being innocent, then I guarantee you there was some fucking demon whispering on his shoulder $

…
Like that shit’s not cute
…
I am a big proponent of being able to say anything and free speech and all that, but that requires judgment and there are just some things that are just not funny $

I’m not gonna ruin the documentary cause I’m probably not gonna be able to watch that much anyway.
Maybe they wrap it up defending him but so far they’re trying to be balanced and it doesn’t look good for MJ lol $

*Lighter flick
It is 3:26 AM & time to polish off a cigarette.
…
Still unusually chilly, but I’m not really complaining.
Just had a glorious gain bowl.
I feel fantastic overall,
And I have to contribute it to improved physical fitness and mental workload decreasing a little $

When in doubt, make decisions based on if you were looking back, 
not about anyone else.
…
Nobody else will know the specifics quite like you.
(Except any actual supporting angels and entities, and all of that)
…
Anyone that actually matters will have the info and the specifics to understand $$$

It is ironic that those who talk the most shit take magic the most serious…
Cough cough Comedians cough cough $$

And I don’t mean that as talking shit, I mean that as an illustration of balance.
Because behavior matters most,
But what you say must be intentional as well $

Love watching the Blue Jays and Cardinals play $

Walking by the house of the first girl I kissed..
Or who rather kissed me 😏 $

Walking by an old friends house that we used to trap plants & pills out of $

Walking by the street corner where I learned to skate $

Walking past many new strangers & neighbors who are also out walking 🚶 $

Walking past the suburban side boats $

Walking past the godmothers house who hasn’t spoken to me in 17 years lol $

Walking past another old friends house 🏠 $

Walking past the two family friend houses I once sold $

It always makes me laugh whenever atheists act the most religious $$*

Imagine being an atheist ghost..
And you have to spend eternity mad at your own non-existence $$$***

Kidding aside,
 I’m not quite sure there are any non-human atheist entities.
So anything ethereal is probably pretty malicious $$

Every moment of awareness has a frame and a focal point $$

God is love for loves’ sake $$$

God is infinite possibilities, but only those of protection $$$

God made man, 
but then man made more men.. $$

I believe this is a simulation for accelerated emotional development $$***

Just as viruses attack you and waste their energy just so you can defeat them, ethereal bitchassness works the same way $$$***

You don’t always need to know what cards the other person has to know what is the right next move $$$

Sometimes you can tell what the other person is holding without even knowing their cards $$

Best rule of all time-
“Don’t do anything that you’re not comfortable with the entire world seeing”
…
But if you’re doing some private shit privately, then it’s on the peeper for being a perv $$$*

I know hell is real because I watch it break loose every Friday night at the local Empire Pizza 🍕 $$**

I’ve had many jobs before where it seemed like I could do whatever I wanted when I wanted, 
but they really just came with a longer, invisible leash $$

If you are fat, and you were still wearing a choker for aesthetic, then I know you’re probably pretty serious subconsciously $$*

Even if it is true, it is not helpful to view Everybody as wasteful sacks of air… $$$

What they don’t want you to know is that ~
the truth is actually pretty fucked up , almost always.
But it is very simple $$

If we are here to eventually learn everything,
That means everybody must learn how to be a dick and how to clean up a mess $$

Tis 8:48pm and time to buy more eggs and cat food lol $$

If you’re gonna think shitty thoughts, at least end on a good one $$

You know you’re doing the right thing when you’re OK with shit not even working out,.
Because you’re doing the right thing… Lol $$

You shouldn’t be able to call yourself a philosopher if you don’t understand basic shapes.
I mean, that’s literally square one $$$***

Nine out of 10 times you will get better results telling somebody what they can’t do versus what they can do. $$$

(if you want somebody to do something, just say that they should do the opposite, and they will flip that just to spite you
Like reverse psychology)

It is 10:04 PM and I just couldn’t wait to make this note.
I don’t expect anyone to believe me…
I’m not sure how it happened again
…
It’s so crazy
…
..
.
I just had the best eggs ever $

But in sad more unfortunate news, I am out of cigarettes and current cash until tomorrow $

The best part about being a philosopher is that whenever shit goes south, you can just say it’s an “experiment”
Or you are “testing out a theory” $$*

So I guess we’re gonna find out my current level of dependence on nicotine.
I am craving a little bit, I’m not gonna lie.
…
So I’m actually out on the stoop, pretending, just to take the ritualistic craving off the table $

I don’t know if I noted, but I only had one cigarette all day yesterday.
And I had two the day prior to that.
And three the day before that.
My point is is I have been tapering down anyway,
And it’s funny how I crave it more because I know I can’t have it then if I had them on standby 
cause then I probably wouldn’t even think about it $

That’s the bizarre mental twist for you $

I’m a little squirmy, but yesterday I didn’t have any real withdrawals or cravings from nicotine.
So I know this is like reverse placebo, and should pass soon 🔜 $

I have received some positive news and some super cool signs that are giving me some comfort on the financial side $

(LOL SPOILER- MORE TROLLING )

I do want to make a note that I found three red feathers on my last walk of the night
…
I don’t remember the specifics, but I was starting to get in my head and right before then.
…
Actually, that’s an important note,
My head has been kind of fucked all day today.
Basically, the opposite of yesterday.
I ran out of electrolytes pretty early, but I didn’t think that would be a big deal.
I was getting pretty angry at my body because it didn’t seem to take any of the salt shots earlier.
I even tried taking it with rice.
It was almost like my body was hung over from yesterday,
But that’s kind of strange because yesterday I felt so good. 
I just went so hard and so long without food.
…
My theory is that it really put my body into a pretty aggressive burn mode.
Which was good and what I wanted,
But I miscalculated my fueling, and I did not eat as mentioned.
And come the morning time, I was in a pretty aggressive deficit, but I was not hungry
…
That is a somewhat bizarre state.
During times of stress, metabolically I can metabolize fast enough to where I don’t have any hunger.
I may not feel the best though or be the most pleasant to be around emotionally speaking..
In fact, when I am the most hangry, I am the most energized but not in a good way
More like in a Weaponized way lol $

And with an electrolytes, you gotta be careful with the water ratio.
If you go too long without any type of carb and you’re too deep into a burn mode, 
you may just keep diluting yourself, even if you have fair amount of sodium $$*

So you really need a trigger or some kind of signal to convince your body to reuptake.
This is why most electrolytes have a gram or to of sugar in it $$

But if you’re so deep in ketosis, your body might just say “fuck that shit” anyway and just keep cannibalizing itself $$***

…
Which just does not feel that great cognitively 
…
However, if you do have the right hydration balance, and you’re in a keto focused fasting metabolic state, you’ll likely feel far better and more clear cognitively $$

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

6-6-26

66

Happy D-Day $

I don’t think it’s any coincidence the day before my birthday would be the anniversary of the greatest invasion of all time $$

Don’t mind me as I catch up on my propaganda $

*starts WWII doc
**Lighter flick

I seriously wonder how many dudes are walking around right now whose last incarnation was on the front lines somewhere $$

Something nobody’s really talking about is how many people are still fucking dying in Ukraine $$$$$$$$$$$$$

Don’t even get me started on why the war is even going on to begin with,
But it is really just a giant sacrifice to whatever evil entities are “enforcing” shit $

The older I get the more I realize that it’s very likely it is just people with resentments who have proof of reincarnation who are perpetuating all this shit $$

…
And I assert the fact that some people want nothing more than to watch their enemies suffer as evidence.
…
Even the most righteous seeming people rejoice whenever they witness pain being inflicted on who they think deserves it $$

And the ego is fully willing to hold onto things to death and beyond if it’s possible $$

…
And it is definitely possible lol $

Trauma is a family disease.
It is a vicious cycle that only snowballs over time unless it runs into a fucking tree or something $$$

…
Sometimes that tree is somebody else’s family lineage lol $$*

How many people are actively trapped in some kind of relationship or situationship with somebody who is a philosophical narcissist? $$$

If you were super wealthy and you had evidence that one family had been fucking with your family for centuries, if not longer, you would probably be more concerned with playing 4D chess than checkers $$

Another thing I keep thinking about-
As horrible as war is, it is still allowed to continue to some degree.
And if super advanced technology is available somehow somewhere someway by some thing, 
Then it is either a super dick move for allowing all this to continue,
Or,
Super wise and this “thing” understands that a couple lifetimes of spiritual isometrics is all it takes to get all of this shit out of our system for good.
Then you can go explore the rest of the solar system $$*

Additionally,
If you’re going to truly test someone’s character, then you’re really gonna need a truly dynamic scale of challenges.
Otherwise, meaning wouldn’t be very meaningful $$

Peace is not impressive unless there is opportunity for an destruction $$**

Being Peaceful and harmless are not the same thing $$$

…
One is good, one is never good $$

“Strength is never a weakness and weakness is never a strength”
-Mark Bell
Check out the power project podcast if you haven’t yet Lol $$$

Yeah, I was just thinking that even if we had a bunch of gravity warping technology,
I think that would get pretty boring pretty quickly and we would want to come up with something a little more crazy… $$

(If you never been bored from your own privileged existence then you wouldn’t understand)

I mean, it’s pretty obvious
We already create video games with additional limitations for entertainment purposes.
We will literally role-play as a suffering 
 settler or some shit… for fun $$

Football is just supposed to be PG war $$

And the competition element is the backbone to life itself $$

AnyWho
Those are just my thoughts at 2:58 AM while watching another World War II movie lol
“The forgotten battle” $

Bro, I swear to God, I can remember this shit
…
Mostly, it’s the feeling of staring at an army of idiots and realizing that it’s time to go fuck them up in the name of freedom $$

…
The Nazis really did have the slickest uniforms though.
Once again, proving that style can get you a long way for a while.
…
But if you are not morally sound, eventually, you’re gonna have the freedom boys showing up on your shores with the straps $$*

I really do believe theoretically our government is about as perfect as it gets.
…
It’s just those running it are completely corrupted, most likely by foreign governments, but by their own secretive natures as well of course $

The current state of affairs makes a lot more sense if you envision it as if some other government is actively trying to compromise us from within $$$

And if things can be this good despite this many asshats trying to fuck it up, then that just gives me more confidence $$$***

Seriously as a nation, we have a lot of fat to be trimmed.
But that doesn’t mean we’re not strong as shit underneath it $$$

And i cannot condone it these days, but up until recent, being fat was a flex.
…
Not a good one per se, but if we’re going to be fair and frame things according to the challenges at the time,
Simply having enough food as a big deal $

Not being trapped in a factory was also a pretty big win $$

And farming was equal parts fun and fucked up
…
before Monsanto got involved and destroyed the balance $$

The one thing about the pendulum,
The wider!the swing, the more fun the ride
That’s for sure $$

It’s just that half the people sitting next to you on this coaster are probably gonna bitch and moan that they can’t get out of the consequences of their own decisions $$**

I say no point in being able to control gravity if you are still being controlled by your genitals $$$***********

And I am obviously ripping that off of the ancients because they clearly knew this shit a long time ago $$

It is 3:06 AM now and I think that means it’s time for a gain bowl $

Eventually, people will realize that working in an office is the most dangerous thing that you can do.
It’s probably gonna take a little while longer & Most are gonna wait until the Ozempic stops working out… $$

I wish I had a cigarette to go with my health food..
But the cravings are a mild at a three out of 10 or so $

*Lighter flick $

That’s not gonna stop ol reliable though hehe $

AnyWho, 
another day, another glorious midnight movie session with a malfunctioning TV $

I swear I have the one TV that would somehow fuck up “turning off” $

I think it is safe to say that the joke is on all of those who tortured Jesus at this point 
…
Imagine being an evil Roman one day and beating up on some shirtless dude.
…
And he’s like “bro it’s cool. I get it, but you’re gonna really regret this one day”
…
And you’re like, “yeah OK sure”
…
And then the dude goes on to become the most famous person of all time… $$$

Honestly, 
if we just made it mandatory that basically you end up serving in government in your last two years of high school, 
then I think that could of pretty much all of our problems.
…
Cause I bet you highschoolers would run the world better than our current currier politicians $$$

Inexperience is better than corruption… $$$

(Politicians already act like pervs anyway, high schoolers are just the innocent ones)

It is 9:17 AM
I am at the park, taking a shot of squirt,
Get ready to “run“ $

Wisdom is knowing on Saturday mornings, the portajohn at the park is cleaner than the bathroom.
…
But not by Saturday afternoon lol $$$

It is 12:31 PM and we are leaving the lion.
Another Hall of Fame Haul-
24 eggs
Two cans of cat food
Pack of cat treats
Pack of smokes $

Doing nothing is not a punishment.
But feels like one 
that is for sure $$

Happy 6:46 PM from the floor.
Got a good bit of work done but now it’s time to take a break.
Which is the hardest part…
And I don’t really have anything else to do…….
Which is a weird problem to have,
one that I seem to not be able to escape from in this lifetime lol $

Just about everything hurts,
It’s just that some things are worth it $$$

Just wait till people realize mirrors are just portal tech $$***

It is 7:50 PM and I will not lie,
I am feeling pretty low overall.
Hard to explain.
Part of it is just simply being bored on my birthday eve.
And I am legitimately exhausted, mentally, and emotionally with no strong alternative entertainment outlets at the current moment.
…
So honestly, it’s really not that bad,
But it is a recipe for a snowball if I wasn’t cautious $

But I got enough candy and eggs and assurances for at least the current moment to where I should be able to sleep lol $

I’ve also never been wanting to make a big “to do” with my birthday.
There was one time in which a girl I was talking to forgot all about it, and I was all butt hurt 😂 
…
And that was pretty funny at the time, roasting myself.
But I’ve always just liked small, casual shit.
…
I don’t really care much about receiving gifts,
Unless it was from the parents because it was the only time I could really score anything outside of Christmas $

(And could tell they didn’t hate me deep down 😂)

But last year, my birthday was one of the hardest and one of the worst days of my life.
…
But the one before that was arguably the best birthday in my life so.. $

As crazy as it sounds,
I think the world would be a healthier place if some people just had some cigarettes for dinner every now and then $$$*

More good news-
I have launched a counter attack against the framing that was trying to make me feel sad and shit $

Because I don’t have any cash to get some carbs, I am breaking out the emergency backpacking food.
…
And I am basically back to suburban camping, This time with a few more amenities and comforts compared to last summer $

Suburban camping is when you put a tent in the backyard,
Or build a fort in the living room,
…
And basically pretend you’re anywhere else but where you are lol
…
And you make the best of it 🎉 $$

…
Bonus points if the power is out lol $

So I am making some “creamy potato soup”
…
For Christmas 2024 my dad gave me a bunch of emergency ration food.
Which is literally the most processed food on the planet.
It does not get any more processed than this, which is designed to last 20 years on the shelf.
And of course, last summer, I literally had nothing else to eat lol
This is when I was down to 135… $

The kicker is the food isn’t that bad.
Carries about the same ingredients as the other processed potatoes and it certainly is about the same as what you’re gonna get from any dehydrated trail food $

So I’m just working on the recipe and cooking technique
Cause these bags are enough to feed a whole family
I’m also testing it out for digestion sake.. $

I recall last year overall it going well.
And I also did eat all the good shit that came in these big boxes already…
Like some banana chips and mac & cheese $

Technically, there’s enough rice in these bags to last me an entire year.
It’s just got all kinds of other seasoning and shit on it $

Over the winter, I talked a lot of shit about keeping the house cold to get some extra energy points by warming yourself up
…
And after a year with no furnace and the coldest winter on record, I can adjust to its effectiveness for healing $

However
Not so fun flipside is limiting the AC in the summer.
Not really for metabolic sake, but for comfort sake.
…
You don’t want to be afraid of sweating
I would argue, ever $

And if you spend too long without sweating, then you’re going to subconsciously stress and avoid the things which might bring it about.
Which are almost always movement and fun related
Or work related, of course $$$

So by accepting some extra heat,
Wearing some extra shorts,
allowing a little extra sweat,
You’re gonna reduce your overall stress level,
And you’ll just have more fun $$$

I still say shower in the cold during the summer, but I’ll admit it’s not really that challenging $$

I do wanna get one of those super cold water chillers for the summer and have an official cold plunge at the crib $

Once I get enough resources, I am converting this house into the ultimate training house in all of suburbia $$$

I wanted to do it this year, but I had to spend so much time just dealing with putting my literal mind back together, 
and family shit…. and writing the games… $

Kidding aside
And while I did not start out intentionally, by September I had committed to going the rest of the year by myself.
.,.
While still trying to be in the world as much as I could 
Simply to not become a complete lunatic, of course $

But after so many years of being in so many strange positions with so many strange friend circles,
And after the year of absolute biological devastation trauma wise,
I had to do with the one thing I had tried to avoid my entire adult life-
Which would be alone at home for real for real $*

I could argue that I started the cliché lonely chapter back in 2020
(Along with the entire world apparently )
And I could argue that I got thrown into the desert last year but to a whole different degree $

…
But there was never going to be another time in my adult life to where I could truly focus on myself and only myself.
And go down as deep as I possibly could into my psyche with nobody or nothing else to blame it on $$

There are no dollars to account for this type of degree $$$

you can’t buy it,
Thank God,
Because if you could, I would’ve tried if I wasn’t so broke lol $

But for most of my adult life while I’ve never been super wealthy, I certainly haven’t been broke or destitute.
…
So I also need to experience the flipside of not being able just to swipe my card without thinking every time I went anywhere… $

…
I knew all of those times mindlessly pulling out the card, that I was gonna have to go to the other side and master every single penny eventually $$

So I figured I might as well get that under wraps too $

And cannot emphasize enough that I would not have eaten all of these eggs and written all of these words and lifted all of these weights if there was any other option 😂 $

Is 11:53 PM
The final moments of my 31st year in this current meat suit.
And I gotta say it was a doozy, that is for sure.
…
I am almost sad to see it end.
…
But I am desperately in need of a change of fortune lol because I really am about to be homeless 😂 

Then again,
If home is where you don’t have to hide,
Then I have both -
technically never had a home,
 and yet ive felt at home $$

AnyWho, 
I am currently starting a smoke,
Enjoying the Crisp air as i prepare to turn the Page once more. $

…
I guess, some of my final thoughts..
….
Voice to text is a hoe quite often
…
You must forgive your family for their trauma monsters because there is a good chance you were involved in their conception
…
Magic is real and is even more strange than it seems
…
My glutes are surprisingly sore $$$

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

6-7-26

67

Holy shit
Didn’t think I’d make it this far $$

Happy birthday to me $

You gotta be kind to the boomers,
They didn’t grow up with the Internet,
…
They only had the world’s greatest housing market, 
climate, 
economic growth, 
land inheritance, 
and initial nutrition cleanliness instead $$*

I mean, what group of people could you give all of that too and they just literally poison everything…
…
Or start sacrificing it to Satan… $$$

…
The hard part though is that if reincarnation leapfrog is real,
Which is 100% is,
That means that our parents are really our kids,
So we really fucked up somehow probably after the turn of the 19th century $$$*

Probably something to do with the “roaring 20s“… $$

Say what you will about war, 
but there are few things that develop ones character faster than being forced to go fight some fuckhead on the front line for freedom $$*

It seems like most of the wars back then, any idiot could participate and be a hero,
As long as they could kneel and shoulder a firearm.
…
But these days very few can be accepted into the elite special forces,
And I’m not talking about the military $$

How many infantry men can withstand the temptation from Tinder? $$$

Or can avoid being swallowed by the bitter morass of self pity that comes with PTSD? $$$

How many have the clarity to continue to create while combating the true enemy of hate? $$$

Even though most return home, they are still captured by the enemy of anger and resentment $$$

…
And probably a foreign government or two if they’re worth anything… $$

If the whole point of video games is to pretend to do something just to see how it feels, 
Then I am quite confident that is some kind of secret CIA reincarnation propaganda to try to pin down who you might’ve been in the past life $$***

You know what I’ve got a new theory,
It’s actually an old theory,
It’s actually one I’ve been testing for 13 years just about,
It relates to caffeine in first thing in the morning
…
The science says that you should wait 90 minutes for cortisol!balance, and adenosine and all that bullshit,
But I’m leaning more and more on doing the opposite
…
Because that’s what I’ve done essentially my entire adult life with pre-workout.
I think by taking a double dose next to first thing, 
and then immediately getting to training, that some of the edge is initially biologically taken off while you have a surplus to kind of get going with
…
Naturally, this makes the “milligram per milligram” less efficient, but I don’t think that matters as much when the net effect is greater.
(Not like we have a caffeine shortage knock on wood)
…
And because you’re taking it first thing you’re gonna be able to power through any natural crash in a few hours much smoother 
…
And also, I assert the experience of just about every coffee drinker ever as evidence $$

If we are here to learn forgiveness, then how fast you can let shit go is the speed that matters most $$$*

Creating future problems is the same as creating new learning opportunities…
It just doesn’t seem like it at first $$

Imagine trying to build a ship in a bottle..
While on a ship in a storm..
…
In the middle of a revolution lol $$

I swear to God, it is always either cloudy or overcast on my birthday lol
Extra grey $

It is really hard to go the extra mile if you don’t have to $$*

The super fucked up shit today is just a really good long-term learning opportunity $$

the idiots who are perpetuating evil actually think they’re getting away with it just because they don’t have the patience to wait for their consequences $$$

The hardest kind of box squat is simply getting out of the car and going in somewhere that you really don’t want to for the “greater good“ $$

It is 11:03 AM
Currently hanging out at the king waiting on a miracle dash or two.
Had a decent one already, but I need a little more if I want some candy and some food and some fuel.
I’m honestly kind of surprised I feel this good cognitively on only two shots of squirt and salt $

If the shots stuck, then that makes sense.
Not so much as to why my body picks and chooses when to uptake it though.
More on that tangent another time $

Struggling to complete a challenge is still better than sitting on your ass and spectating $$$*

Life is just a friendly competition contest $$

Children rarely think they’re doing wrong when they’re fucking everything up.
They usually think they’re doing something right, But you still need to manage and discipline accordingly $$

Talking about what you want is one of the biggest wastes of energy.
9 out of 10 times it’s almost obvious anyway and doesn’t need stating and just makes you sound like a whiny bitch $$$

lol remembering the time i got wrist locked by a 15yr old softball pitcher 
Happy 2:28pm $

I really should not be feeling this good for somebody who hasn’t eaten in almost 24 hours.
Here’s the shocker,
No electrolytes either.
And I feel phenomenal
Not as electric, but still quite fantastic $

The middle of summer is still the best time to burn fat.
Metabolically speaking, though you’re actually burning it at the lowest rate compared to winter time.
…
It’s just that you don’t need the fat because you have the natural heat so your body is able to basically let go of it.
And then any additional activity just aids in the process $$

Knock on wood times three
But I think the ancients just gave me the a birthday present… $

(lol kinda sorta, more like a birthday lesson but 🤷🏻‍♂️)

I know all of the angels and ancients and aliens are watching $$

Oh yeah, here’s something else thats pretty funny,
My mom renewed my AAA membership for my birthday present lol $

I MEAN COME ON LOL $

I can’t wait to find out how many people found my notes and thought I was talking about roadside assistance hahah $

But to be fair, I guess in many ways I am lol $

107272 on the dash at 3:21 pm on 6-7 $

If you say the world is fucked up on one hand,
 and then quit when it tries to stop you from doing anything to help,
 then you’re just proving yourself right.
…
Which most people are addicted to $$$

If I get rich eating eggs and smoking weed, then I think that’ll be a good example for the next generation $$$

Heaven can be found anywhere,
But only humble philosophers know what to look for $$*

God rarely does the work for anyone,
But he quite often removes the bullshit in the way of an honest attempt $$***

Doin the wait of shame at 5:28pm..
Which is waiting for the gas station pre authorization to return your money so you can buy dinner lol $

It is 5:59 PM
I have returned home after another miracle run
I was able to hustle up just enough cash on the day to refill the candy and fuel.
I am so grateful I could pop lol $

I don’t know if I noted,
But the last couple days I was actually smoking a split up pre-roll.
They’re not as strong or as the full-blown, but they are half price and it definitely gets the job done.
Additionally, and ironically,
A single 40 mg tablet is cheaper than the three count of 10 mg that I usually get.
Only by a couple dollars, but it still matters cause that’s like a box of electrolytes.
Although I would argue that it’s actually probably a little underdosed and that the three count is more reliable $

It is 8:10 PM
Time for a stogie
Just had an magnificent gain bowl
I went back with the Aldi black beans
Those bitches are noticeably better quality bean $

I had six eggs around 4 PM but other than that I was pretty much raw dogging it all day.
Had the creatine water, but no real electrolytes until the very end.
And I am thinking I need to give creatine more credit $

I’m also proud that I didn’t even have any afternoon caffeine
And I didn’t even realize it $

I mean, truly I’m actually pretty surprised with how smooth today was with how little
I’m hoping I can go to sleep a little earlier because of the lack of caffeine
…
It is weird and that time of year where it’s bright as fuck until late.
Sometimes too late, and I have to go to sleep while the sun still up lol $

When I was full-time in the commercial gym that shit kind of sucked.
Going to sleep at 7:30 on a Saturday in July is a different kind of challenge lol $

Sometimes I would just be so physically exhausted by then that I would just have to go to sleep to have some fun at the midnight movies
…
But during that time, I would usually end up sleeping straight through cause I was training so hard. $

It is 11:23 PM
I’m not complaining, but I’m surprised it’s still today
So only one thing left to do he he.. $

*Lighter flick $

Let’s see how many hits it takes to put me back to sleep $

It is an amazing game,
You just can’t be playing at all the time without getting yourself sent back to rehab lol $$

But on your birthday?
…
After a record setting self-development year..
…
*Lighter flick $

…
I won’t lie though
The bitchassness did launch a sneak attack earlier…
“ all alone on your birthday”
“ family doesn’t care”
Blah blah blah
All bullshit
But sometimes it’s smells tastey $

*Lighter flick $

This strain is called banana something.
It is some of the most fluffy Kush I have seen in a while.
The rest has been super dense dyno nugs
…
Lol this is getting pretty hard and it’s only 1148
But I am no quitter
…
*Lighter flick 
…
If I have the biggest ego of all time,
But If I properly train it and subdue it it and can teach others how to do it as well,
…
Then that would also make me the greatest ego manager of all time $$

…
I know “the Jesus” is supposed to come back soon and all that,
I just think that with the right technique and with the tools at our disposal, 
we can get shit cleaned up before he even gets here $$$

…
How gangster would that be to have turned everything around before his flight lands?
…
Like those crazy kids cleaning up after a party before their parents get home $$

…
And then when he gets back, he’s extra impressed so he goes back to heaven for a while, and we can throw another Rager $$

…
Just kidding…
…
Jesus would obviously be the one throwing the Rager.
The greatest one of all time
Where people from all parts & Providence can party together $$

…
I still think we could probably get shit together though $$$

But…
Based on the current state of God‘s “most prized creation”, 
I think he would admit that you’re gonna fuck a lot of things up in the developmental process & its still all love lol ❤️

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

6-8-26

68

What if there is a super advanced species of aliens that are basically like psychic mountain lions that like to eat evil humanoids
…
And basically go from planet to planet every couple thousand years for a good old cleanse…
…
I don’t know if that’s scarier,
Or the same but an insect version.
…
And I don’t know how to break this to you, dear reader, but one of the most prominent leading theories around all of this disclosure shit is that one of these species is the equivalent of a naughty cricket 🦗 $$*

Happy 12:08 AM
And good morning to the world 🌎 $

But yeah, I don’t know,
If biological aliens are really mostly behind the reason for the cover-up,
Meaning they’re involvement with technology and all that shit is why we’re being so secretive,
Then that must mean that there are a bunch of different species
…
And if there are a bunch of different species the there has to be some kind of galactic government bullshit
…
Which is a leading theory,
It’s just that most of those who promote that theory are cracked in every other area of life $$

If there is a Galactic Federation,
They are likely very understanding when it comes down to sacrificing for greater development and all of that
…
And also pretty concerned with the insect problem $$

I am honestly at the point to where
I would not be surprised if I found out the biological alien piece was basically a lie,
Or propaganda,
And that any actual involvement with “biological ETs” would be spiritual based magic Fuckery basically from other humans $

…
And basically that magic is real,
All of that crazy shit is real,
& That has been known for a long time by those who have been practicing it and have been viewing the general public as psychic cattle 🐮 
…
And everything has been a distraction to cover the greatest evil, 
which is all of the sex cannibal shit $$$

Cause if you had all resources and you were into fuck shit, then using aliens to test out all your crazy tech seems like some shit you would try $$

No offense to any super advanced mountain lions or praying mantises,
But there’s a lot of rumors around the human body being a Devine vehicle and being specially engineered,
…
So either some kind of super smart organism made us,
…
Or if they didn’t, & then that just means something even more powerful did.
…
And either way I like the team that I’m on $$

And I just cannot think of a better vehicle for expression and practice of the most sophisticated art forms $$

Meaning,
I just can’t picture A funny spider…
I’m sorry maybe I’m just traumatized $

I can definitely envision a lot of cool spider Bros tho
And there are some in the corners of my house,
And they have adhered to our peace treaty for years for the most part
Which is a testament to their intelligence and their respect
…
But I’ve never heard one tell a joke $$

And I’ve had plenty of them scare the piss out of me lol $

What kind of music would they be into? $

…
Same with the lions 🦁 $(?)

You know Netflix was not an OG human idea
…
Actually I take that back. because it is like a lazy man’s wet dream $

I say, as I put out my cigarette to return to my show $

I’ve been watching “bloodline” most recently $

Sad after I wrapped up trailer Park boys.
Not gonna lie, TPB gets kind of old in the newer seasons $

It is now 4:27 AM
I know I said before that I wish people would appreciate the midnight moments more,
But I also think people need to get their buzz on at 4 AM to learn about themselves lol $$

Just maybe not every single day…
…
But a third of the time probably can’t hurt $

Weak people are rarely ever grateful.
…
They rarely ever say words like “thank you” and “sorry”.
So if somebody says those words, sincerely, then they are likely very strong $$$*

Interesting that winners often think they are some kind of God,
But I guess that makes sense because God is the ultimate winner 🥇 $$

But I guess you could argue that those with the strongest of faith are the true winners $$

just having the right place to sit when it comes time to eat can mean the world 🗺️ $$

“Not my problem”
-most concerning & common bitchass expression $$$***

“Oh, Fuck it”
-the most unexpectedly effective prayer 🙏 $$$**

I really don’t understand gender reveal parties.
I mean, the celebration is basically the same, regardless the result right?
Which takes away the meaning
…
I get it if you’re using it as an excuse to Day drink, but unless you were hoping for a specific outcome, then celebrating as such is literally just delusional $$

And I’m sorry maybe it’s the angry old pilot in me that would still argue principles before parties… $

I guess what I’m trying to say is that gender reveal parties are ruining this country lol $$$*

This is one of those times in which I need to stop and give myself a little bit of credit-
I’ve been up since 4 AM just cause,
I was gonna go right back to sleep, but I’m just I’m enjoying the moment too much.
But I’m not even realizing how much work I’m getting done.
…
Every time you put words to paper it counts as some kind of work that’s for sure $

But it’s taking many years to get to the point to where I can call a 5:21 AM cigarette “work“ lol $

But then again,
I’ve been doing work at this kind of hour many different times in my life $

And a smoky sunrise is one hell of a gift a day after another birthday 🎉 $

Just had a pretty decent size fuel bowl,
Thanks to my improved metabolic conditioning, I should be able to get by on less calories and less carbs.
But I’m gonna need them to get the party started $

Some are maxing out credit cards,
Others are maxing out the bench press,
I say do both for your best long-term development lol $$$***

Don’t pray for God to help other people,
Just ask him to help you to help them $$$*

Do you have any idea how hard it is to vacuum a house that you know you’re probably not gonna be living in soon? $$

It only takes about five minutes of labor to stop resting on your laurels,
So you can tell who’s never really tried to find the time $$$*

Keep an ongoing list of things that you are wrong about.
This will both frame your predictions with an element of humility,
And will Take some pressure off of getting everything right.
& because it’s so entertaining to admit when you’re wrong if it’s for lolz $$

Remembering the time I got a speeding ticket while listening to Uncle Kracker at 2 AM in South Park
…
Homie caught and released me within five minutes for going 15 over lol
…
I was speeding home after a night of cringe at the local bar after the late night AA meeting.
I was at least 7 years sober at the time lol $

I spent so long in a calorie deficit that I thought I’d had a clinical anxiety disorder lol $$*

Usually whenever something‘s moving, at least you know something is working $$

It is 6:23 PM and another crazy workday for the most part part $

OK, I’m not quite sure how to describe this right now,
It is 8:19 PM,
There are Hella storm clouds
And it is absolutely still right now.
I mean, even traffic was completely gone for a few minutes.
And I just had a really long stare down with a bunny less than 10 yards away.
And there is another one who has just been hanging out in the back all still like while I was eating my game bowl
…
I mean the stillness and silence is eerie
In kind of a really cool good way though.
…
Cause it’s still light out
But it’s almost like time has been paused.
I mean, dude this is trippy as fuck $

Less than a half hour ago, I was waiting on some dashes!and I was really enjoying the breeze from the storm clouds,
But now dude, nothing is moving $

…
Reminds me of when the sun disappeared last summer
…
That’s a story that no one’s gonna believe though $$

It is 9:28 PM and I am officially calling it on the work side of things
Pretty crazy day $

Unfortunately, what I thought was good news Yesterday has pretty much flipped And I am now weighing some very big decisions.
…
I am on the verge of going nomad frfr.
Because I honestly have no idea how I’m gonna get out of this situation with my family $

…
It’s at the point now to where there’s literally no explaining.
It’s either I show up with money or I shouldn’t show up at all. $

(Yep, that toxic…)

And if I do leave, I am well aware is likely going to cause significant devastation and leave me hopeless when it comes down to reaching an understanding with them.
But There is no more reasoning or getting them to actually understand.
It really is just a matter of using constructs that they can understand $

I’m burnt. I’m gonna have to edit that next week.
Who knows when and where what I’ll be doing?

(So far same shit lol but man are things getting weirder)

It is 9:30 PM though from the 930 $

I really don’t wanna lose the house man
But I don’t wanna stay here for much longer as a prisoner either. $

…
I desperately need to hit the road
I just don’t wanna have to be so desperate on the road $

I’ll do what I need to do for the bigger mission though,
Whatever that means $

Maybe at this point, we need to admit that we have something backwards-
If everybody’s family is super fucked up then maybe we shouldn’t but as much pressure on people to spend time with them.
Maybe we are here to value friends above blood relationships 🩸 $$





Jokes
Cuts
Comps
Stories

Test
Touch up
Comps
Promos

Focus on 
4 of air
8 of air
At first

Then add on 3air & 5 air


Functional CB 
Mostly bracing/ core focus
Helps with blind spots/ injury prevention 
Light intensity 

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

6-9-26

69

Oh yeah, it’s the nicest day of the year $

Happy 2:32 AM $

I don’t really know how to describe the moment
Is a heavy one 
…
Not to be dramatic, but this could be one of the last times I am at the movies in my current situation… $

…
Also not to be too dramatic, but I think that at a certain point, cheaters should be just taken out into the street and shot
…
..
.
Kidding, not kidding $$

I just truly cannot understand how people can claim to love somebody and then cave at the first opportunity $

Lol, sorry for the outburst
I am just tired of watching cheaters on every channel.
Excluding the actual TV show “cheaters” which is pure gold $

The “t” is often associated with the crucifixion,
So I guess it makes sense that I have two of them in my first name $$

It is now 3:33 AM and the perfect time for a cigarette
And to contemplate the madness that is my own existence $$

I’ve gotta get some cash to keep the power on for what time I may have left here
…
Which could be a lot or a little who the fuck knows lol $

I’m gonna have to do a trial NOMAD run with the cat ASAP though.
Which is gonna be where he just rides copilot while I try to figure out life lol $

My last consult has me thinking though
I think more and more I’m probably going to shy away from focusing on coaching and focus more on writing and creating shit. $

There’s just too heavy a conflict of interest for my comfort.
When someone’s telling you about their lifestyle, they’re inevitably giving you all kinds of information to use against them if you actually wanted to upsell them something.
And its very easy to sell the emotional types the more expensive package knowing damn well they’re not gonna even use it and you get the pocket the money anyway 
…
Which is what I am trying to get away from $

And this is where it gets even more tricky,
Sometimes during a sale, it’s the responsibility of the sales rep to remind the potential client how they are just being emotionally silly upon first couple hesitations.
(Otherwise the convo would be taking place)
…
This is distinctly different than just trying to finesse somebody into some fucked up deal tho.
Good sales reps understand that almost everybody in the right mind is gonna give some kind of hesitation and that’s when the game begins
Not the scheme or crime… $$

So convincing somebody to consent to something is quite simple really.
But that just place more emphasis on the ethics $$

And at this point, I’ve sold enough shit,
Good bad and in the Grey?
That if I’m gonna sell anything, it’s gotta be a product and not a service $

We’ll see how that changes based on upcoming opportunities, cause I’m a little too open-minded for my own good sometimes $

I am also a softy and if somebody asks for help and is willing to give me money, I have a hard time saying no.
…
Or at least I did before eating a million eggs lol $$

It’ll be a hell of a story…
How many eggs can one man eat in one year? $

I figure if my ancestors can hop on a boat and cross an ocean to escape some fuckheads,
Then I could probably hop in a jeep and skate across the country to combat the Pharma Fuckery $$$*

The longest runs are really just the hardest fights 
against your lowest nature that is $$

The way I see it is that there is only one fear to to take seriously~
And that is the fear of the “fear of being wrong” $$

I think even the female side of my spirit is a lesbian 😂 😉 

If I ever end up with power, one of my first orders is going to be that all businesses must technically open 15 minutes early.
…
That will simply reinforce the on-time arrival of every employee everywhere,
But also, 
that way the good people don’t have to sit around in the parking lot with their dicks in their hands just cuz $$$

Looky Lou’s love to lurk just about anywhere $$$*

All you can do is weigh the alternatives in real time and hope for the best $$$

Teach a man how to change himself and he might not ever stop $$

But At a certain point, you gotta accept who you are and protect the baseline.
While also maintaining open mindedness $$

Besides the whole child trafficking shit,
I would bet that most propaganda started as trolling and satire that some people took too seriously.
Then other fuck wads discovered how much money could be made by keeping the ruse going…
Then half of those fuck sticks felt guilty and tried to turn tail,
But the OG bitch ass fuck wads had already acquired too many resources and ruined the meaning behind anything they could, therefore leaving them with soul crushing boredom,
 therefore leading to the whole kid shit $$

If you can only be aware of one thought at a time, then fear is the biggest thief of all thoughts.
Therefore, true intellectual creativity under a world of bullshit is the ultimate flex because it is undeniable $$

Remembering the time when I was 16 and I just got my license ..
and I also just discovered OxyContin lol
…
My friend was in summer school nearby and wanted to hang out on his lunch break.
In which case I was happy to pick him up and go to the McDonald’s for lunch and drop him back off after.
I didn’t realize until later that afternoon that what I did was against school rules and they called me back to the office because they caught me on camera picking him up.
..
I was so stoned and so stupid that I left a small, tiny razor blade in my wallet from the OxyContin, of course.
And when I went back to the school, one thing led to another, and they decided to search me for shits and gigs.
…
And they found this razor blade of course.
But On that day, it just caused a lot of drama within my family, but they let me off with a warning stating that if it ever happened again, they would “throw the book at me”
…
And lo and behold a month later after school started, they would find a small knife in my car that had fallen out of my friends pocket when I took him to the dentist 
Which effectively got me kicked out of public school 
T’was 8-31-10
lol thanks for letting me share 🦷 $

At this moment three years ago exact,
 I stood on “first settlers Beach” and I spent the afternoon doing some weird kind of meditating brainstorming/ time killing.
But that was the day I made the first original muscles and movement logo $

I just think it’s pretty awesome that the numbers on the dash says 107333. $

Remembering, I actually got into the park for free that day.
I didn’t have any money, but I went up and I gave the lady at the gate my card anyway.
And the machine malfunctioned and because the line started building behind me and because the lady thought I was nice and interested, she just let me in anyway $

I am also willing to bet that God was 100% trolling whenever he made centipedes $$$***

Or whatever evil ass fuck shit dark insect aliens 👽 $$

Anything is possible with enough salt and hot sauce $$$*

It is 2:18 PM
Another cig,
Another strange stare down with a woodland creature.
This time, a squirrel 🐿️ $

I can’t wait for all the rabbits that have been hanging around my yard all year to do their life review,
Cuz then they’ll just see me in the corner, smiling and waving while they munch away $$

(Hope the review is a long way away tho. Long live the rabbits) 🐇 

I feel like they like hanging out in my yard because they’re not the only ones going down holes if you know what I’m saying $$

I got an idea,
Let’s do any sports competition with atheists versus any religion.
…
I don’t care what the sport is,
Pick a team of believers vs non-believers and see what happens $$$

Just remembered that today is the one year anniversary of when I returned a Christmas gift to the ex per her request $

It’s really funny to me how many people out there seriously think they can just “think” they’re way out of a rear naked choke without ever actually experiencing one first lol $$$

(Happy to demo my point if you would like dear reader 🦌)

It is 7:32 PM and leaving the Lion now.
Was starting to feel pretty shitty, not gonna lie, so I bought a sympathy pizza and some more eggs
Just gotta make it through the night 🥚 $

It is 8:14 PM
And that pizza is no longer with us lol
…
It has moved on to fulfill its Destiny in my stomach.
Knock on wood for smooth digestion because again I rarely ever eat pizza and that much cheese $

Although there was a period of time where I pretty much got a third of my calories a week from pizza… $

Sometimes though I think dairy doesn’t like me
But I am no wimp,
Even if I am a little gassy sometimes lol $

A sketchy suburban synchronicity is when you deliver DoorDash to a house who’s car you probably robbed as a tweaking teen.. $$*

You shouldn’t say that things are hard,
You should say they are difficult.
But I’ll admit that’s pretty hard to do $$$*

Is it a good or a bad thing that the voices in my head tell me I’m not crazy ? $

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

6-10-26

610

Good morning world $

It is 1:50 AM $

Just thinking about how many people are about to have the craziest day of their lives lol $

I’m Also watching “worst ex ever“ $

Probably some correlation… 😂 $

This show breaks my heart nearly every time tho
I am fully aware of the Fuckery that is out there but these stories are next level $

There are some really really messed up men out there now.
They’re always have been I guess,
But now there is a different breed of bitchassness $$$

If you are obsessed with weapons, then you are pretty stupid
…
Don’t know how else to put it $$

(Unless it’s the nerdy historical ancient type)

This is coming from somebody who is fascinated with anything ancient & involving fire power $

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again,
Real maturing is realizing that the police have just a big of chance of fucking everything up for the worse, as they do to deliver justice and make it better $$

If we did not have any weak men, this problem would resolve itself.
Just as,
If we did not have any overly insecure women, this problem with resolve itself (talking about situations that require a TV show) $

You can’t call yourself a true philosopher if you haven’t at least spent 1/3 of your life awake at night for highly strange reasons $$$*

Also,
If you’ve ever cheated on anybody, then you are automatically disqualified from being a true philosopher $$$

I talk a lot of shit about pushing boundaries and breaking dumb rules,
But that just means that there are some laws that are pretty much inexcusable-
And cheating and infidelity is one of them $$$

There is simply is no justifiable exception
…
..
.
And you can argue there are even justifiable exceptions for murder lol $

If there was one act that shows someone’s true character, it is their fidelity record $$
(Not talking banking either)

Imagine being willing to gamble what you’re supposed to cherish most..
Just because you’re a little hormonal and horny $$$

And then imagine trying to keep things a secret from the person closest to you..
…
And just pretending that does not have some impact on your health or other decision-making…
…
And just pretending that some super advanced alien wouldn’t be able to see your shit from a galaxy away… 
…
..
.
And then reading something like this and getting all butt hurt because you’re getting called out..
Even though I haven’t even named names
… $$$

That’s kind of the fun part about fucking with the guilty,
You don’t even have to make an accusation,
Just make a joke. $$

Seriously, tho
 fuck cheaters $$$

Now I will admit that there are a lot of good people out there who have simply made a mistake once.
And while it is not justifiable what they did, it was an extremely important learning experience for them and has made them who they are today.
Which is a pretty good person $$$

Therefore, I think it is important to clarify the definition of an official “cheater”,
This is anyone who has cheated more than once.
Or someone who is within their first 12 months of their first cheat $$$

In some cases, unfortunately, you have some who have committed the crime so recent that it makes difficult to diagnose their actual character
…
So sorry not sorry, but part of the punishment of cheating is 12 months probation $$$

…
..
.
But here’s the kicker-
After that, you will be forced to date only other cheaters or those with the same fidelity score $$&

(These are supposed to be general “you”
But if the shoe fits…)

And if you actually have cheated more than once, 
and if it is that strange and rare exception in which you truly want to amend your behavior and make things right for the future, 
…
Then you will need to join the cheaters an anonymous rehab community program. $$$

…
This is where you essentially get a degree after a long enough period of time of not being a fuck stick
…
There may be classes or community service or some shit required,
But really this is just a long period of probation in which you are scrutinized and must perform certain tasks in order to truly restore your dating status $$$

…
Or we just automatically draft anybody who cheats into combat service lol $$$

Seriously, think about how quickly the problem would resolve itself if you knew that you’d be going to Ukraine if you did some sleazy shit $$$

But it doesn’t even have to be that drastic,
Just making these people pick up litter or something would probably go a long way $$$

It is 2:47 AM
Or a perfect time for a stogie $

You gotta love all the strange suburban sounds
You don’t gotta love all of the super strange suburban, slimy slugs, though.
I saw the juiciest SOB earlier on the last smoke break
He’s was right outside the stoop
I nearly threw up lol
…
I mean this dude was at least 5 inches long
Very well endowed for a slug $

Thinking about three years ago this time
After I did that whole meditation catch up at the first settlers beach, 
I went to Virginia Beach and ended up in a field hockey tournament with a random group of school teachers lol $

They were redefining the term “functional alcoholism” $

Not the craziest story, but it goes like this-
The night I arrived at VA beach, 
I was skateboarding up and down the boardwalk,
Riding the highs and lows of my spiritual walkabout,
Debating whether or not to quit my current job at the time with a dickhead who didn’t give a shit.
…
I stopped to write in my journal in classic cliché fashion,
Moments after putting it back in my bag and riding off, I hear some yelling from a balcony
…
Can’t remember the exact, but they were asking if I wanted to play Field hockey with them the next day as they needed a substitute.
In which case I was gladly happy to oblige
…
So we drank a white claw and made plans for the following day.
I rolled away back to camp, eager for the next day.
…
Come 9 AM sharp I was out there, With a new squad.
…
I didn’t realize that beach was literally next to one of the biggest military naval bases lol…
But it didn’t take long on the beach to start seeing military dudes swimming, and running around
…
I was most concerned about the sun, but Luckily, I have the Day walker adaptation as a ginger so I wasn’t too bad off with a little sunscreen
…
Sunscreen another topic for another time lol
…
But we had a blast that day.
The competition ended probably around two or three pm,
And that’s when all of the additional brews were busted out.
…
we had a nice little midday kickback on the beach for a few hours before planning dinner
…
But unfortunately, it was pretty clear that the alcohol had already began working its sinister twist within the group as I could see some drama and some concerning cognitive dissonance developing quickly
…
We broke for a few hours, and I went back to clean up at the local Anytime Fitness lol
…
But that nagging feeling in the back of my head began growing…
After about 30 minutes back with them, I knew I had to bounce so I grabbed my board headed out.
…
But before I made it out of the hotel, I ended up sharing drinks with a flat earther and nearly having to diffuse a bar fight lol
…
The time had come to head out and hit the road,
I left that night and headed to nags head.
I camped at a rest stop (I think) and headed to the beach early the next morning
…
After a bit taking in the sun, I decided it was time to head back home.
But I needed to do another hike, of course
…
And this is where the story transitions.
…
I did not anticipate this hike turning into a legitimate marathon though.
And at noon on that Sunday, I arrived at the Dutchman Creek Trail in uwharrie national Forest.
…
It was supposed to be 22 miles,
I figured I could probably get back by sundown,
But I did not really count for the variance with the mile markers and the storm that rolled in Midday..
…
I had about as much food and water as you could stuff into a backpack
I remember I had a ton of crack worms too
…
(Which is when you just take gummy worms, and you put them in Gatorade powder like the most glorious pixie sticks of all time)
…
But AnyWho
About halfway through, I realized I needed to commit and pick up speed
And so I literally had to run half of it lol
..
I ended up completing it all with just enough fuel
…
I made it back a an hour or two after sundown
And had the most amazing drive home that evening
…
And still made it to work in the gym the next morning 😉 $

(lol thanks for letting me share)

Ways to do things better next time:
Worry less and smile more $$$*

If one person doesn’t do their job, then that means nobody else can properly do theirs either $$$

It is 9:48 AM
I’m happy to report a decent dash plus a good run at the park with a few jumps thrown in the mix.
Pretty sweet.
There was one girl out there doing backflips though which reminds me that I gotta stop bitching out & I gotta get back to learning that. $

It is now time to reread “into the wild by “Jon Krakauer“ $

The easiest way to win is simply to not be afraid of losing $$*

I feel like I need to elaborate more on my delivery this morning~
As it was to my primary care doctors office once again.
I have delivered quite a large amount of orders there.
In fact, my dash PR is to this establishment. I delivered the largest order I ever have to that office. (Mexican ofc)
…
Most of the time the food seems somewhat reasonable for a healthcare professional,
But it’s sad that the simple overall reality is that just about everybody working in that office is a joke when it comes down to representing optimal health $

Ironic just thinking about our healthcare system makes me fucking sick $$

What if- 
if you get eaten, you get the most intense dopamine dump in the entire universe.
…
Nature‘s way of compensating prey that can’t help but eventually be consumed…
…
And maybe the evil cannibals have kind of taken that to the extreme..
…
I don’t know, who knows 🤷🏻‍♂️ lol $$

It is 2:46 PM
And I am going to do a rocket fuel run
I am flirting with a dangerous deficit. $

“Do you need help? 
Do you need a hand? 
You’re good 
you want it you want me to help I’m gonna push and shit. 
Do you want me to help you push?”
…
The last bit was organically caught on voice to text as I was helping somebody move their car who had broken down by the entrance lol $

Not gonna lie, that wasn’t the easiest car to push in flip-flops up a slight hill…
But hey, I’m grateful for the op $

just that little 20 yard push was also enough to push my metabolism to work a little harder at converting some of this fuel,
Which is a good short-term solution but right when the engine turns back off, I’m gonna be fucked if I’m not careful lol $

Bittersweet news tho-
They raised the prices on all the fuel so I had to get cat food instead.
Lol, not for me silly,
 for for the kitty so I don’t have to come back to Food Lion later as I need to go to Aldi‘s anyway $

Service work is just an energy attunement exercise $$$

I’m gonna eat plain ass rice with no butter or hot sauce or anything
Just like rehab lol
At least this time I do have salt 🧂 $

…
It’s honestly not that bad lol $

That’s how I know anyone who complains about cutting isn’t really about that life.
…
Sure, It’s difficult and challenging at times and don’t get me wrong, & Emotionally speaking you may seem clinically ill at times,
…
But food never tastes better $$

So if someone is extra choosy when it comes time to eat, you know they’re not actually hungry $$

Also, the fact that the smell of fish has never bothered me, but only excited me, is evidence that I was a fisherman in the past life $

God is not really a magical Santa Clause,
And I’m willing to bet he’s not even the game itself…
…
He’s the parent sitting in the recliner, watching your real spirit play this game called life, while your avatar is reading these Lines to your real conscious at this moment $

Honestly,
Why don’t we just raise the min voting age to 35?
And also put a max limit at 70?
…
I think that will solve a lot of shit $$$

It is 6:16 PM
I am posted up, trying to snag a fish or two.
Just had a panic attack because I got another call from the power company,
Another day after squeezing by with a minimum payment,
 I was convinced they were going to cut my shit off 
So triple knock on wood lol $

(lol see 6-15 for more on this saga 😂)

It is 7:36 PM
And I have fantastic news,
Thanks to the grace of God and AAA I have successfully completed enough dashes to get more food and reactivate the website.
…
And I gotta tell you that it was a neck and neck race lol
I swear to God, I would’ve reactivated the website before I bought as much food tho $

Which is listed below lol
Very humble, I know
Egg-2
ELE- 3
Hot - 3
Butter-3
Beans-1
=12 $

At this point though, I have spent the last dollar that I’ve had so many times that I don’t even flinch anymore.
…
I just laugh at the total,
And save the receipts for the wall of ridiculousness. $$

…
That will go right next to the wall of rocket fuel, which is just all my graham cracker boxes from the winter lol $

AnyWho, I am enjoying part of a smoke before I get ready to eat.
I’m really not hungry thanks for the electrolytes,
& I’ve lost a fair amount of fat of the past week, Which is just extra icing on the cake 🍰 $

But I’m afraid to eat too many carbs or else is gonna probably shoot me into the stratosphere based on my current metabolic operating preference $

… I’m not hungry enough enough to eat a bunch of eggs 
I don’t know we’ll see lol $

You can be full of fear and still not be afraid $$$

…
But don’t expect that last line to make sense unless you reach level 13 on the quest for the holy Grail $$$*

It is 10:29 PM
Just had an amazing bowl of eggs..
…
I don’t know if I even logged the previous bowl of rice and beans and some new fancy Irish butter $

I can also the definitively reinforce this juicy theory,
when you are genuinely out out of “ready” energy,
Like your muscles and liver are fully depleted and you genuinely need to refuel,
You’re gonna either authorize some fat conversion,
 or you’re going to have to kill something and eat it.
…
But let’s say you do finally eat after a long period in a deficit,
You’ll notice that you feel significantly more energized, almost immediately.
…
Which, if you think about it doesn’t actually make sense because the food doesn’t digest and convert that fast.
…
So really what has really happened, is your body released whatever energy it had on standby as emotional reinforcement and also to begin making more room, metabolically speaking
 …
Cuz the digestion process truly takes at least three hours to really begin to glean the energy… and that’s just from a mostly carbohydrate source.
It can take two or three hours even on top of that for fats
…
My point is - it’s more psychological.
Once you realize that your body actually does have a significant amount of energy ready to release under the right conditions, it makes it much easier to manage a significant deficit $$

But I say all the time,
Next time you’re really hungry, try some super concentrated electrolytes and maybe a light walk or something.
Or a very short burst of something strenuous.
Just to signal your body to take it serious, but not actually to start burning off your energy $$

You may try laying down and meditating for a few minutes after that, allowing your body to fully begin converting background fuel $$

…
If done correctly, you should notice significant clean energy for 4 to 6 hours at least $$

And if you manage the hydration correctly, I mean, you can literally go for days 
…without being an asshole the entire time too $$

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

6-11-26

611

I can’t believe how many people walk around these days genuinely thinking that men competing in women’s sports is OK $$$

AnyWho, I’m also eating eggs at 2:45 AM lol $

Not all philosophers are self created equal that’s for sure $$***

Gotta love this stillness around 3 AM $

*Lighter flick $

We find ourselves at another weird transition ladies & germs…. $

(Removed cuz it was a boring self centered tangent lol)

It is 6:25 AM and we are on the way to Pump city 🌆 $

It’s psychologically brag worthy, but I haven’t missed a cold shower in a couple months now. $$

Few things reveal true EX IQ than doing dead’s on the smith $$$*

Just about everybody on the treadmill is doing it primarily for something regarding body fat.
There’s a small group who recognize is benefit for cardiovascular health without becoming to neurotic tho $$$

The only reason why people avoid resistance training is fear of injury,
Whether it be physical or psychological
…
Or even philosophical when you realize how little you know $$

Materialistic motherfuckers want nothing more than a problem that could be solved with money just so they can prove their narcissistic point $$$***

It is 11:17 AM and I am in the middle of a pretty heavy review..
I’m just thinking back to the last couple versions of myself over the years $

…
I say the timeline in which you become an addict is a win-win~
…
First, you get to party super hard,
And then you end with the power of the 12 steps and becoming a philosophical Superman
…
..
.
I will admit though the middle is pretty brutal and most don’t even make it through the training lol $$*

Ultimately, the only ratio that really matters is “opportunities presented versus opportunities seized” $$$

One day, I will amass a philosophical army that will clown all the clowns 🤡 $$$

“You do not need to try to be what you already are”
Third- degree philosophical Jedi shit $$$

It’s crazy to admit that within the last 365 days, My scale has started with a 13 and a 18,
But right now is in the 16s $

“ quantum mechanics“ is just a scientific way of talking about imagination land $$$***

Just about everywhere, there is some girl torturing some poor dog by making him walk on the hot concrete in the middle of the day… $$$

(Awareness must be raised for these poor service dogs 🐕‍🦺)

Are you a terrible person if you are secretly swiping on dating apps by the printer in your office when no one’s around?
…
No, you’re not a bad person…
…
But you are probably not the most fun to be around, just being honest $$$*

I think everybody deserves a pleasant surprise,
And sadly, probably 80% also deserve a painful surprise lol $$$*

Imagine trying to build a new life but the only tool you have is a shovel 🪏 $$***

Every now and then I get waves of pleasantry,
My intuition says maybe somebody is seeing something I said and is laughing $

It is 1:29 PM and just snagged a fantastic dash for some nice early afternoon fishing.
Gonna go post up at a shady spot by a church to See if I can catch any more hungry Christians. $

It’s kind of funny that the most perfect shaded spot is on “Sunset Drive” $

Churches are usually the best places to hang out because people feel too bad kicking you out.
…
And because bitch ass evil generally doesn’t like to hang around the happy joyous and free for too long $$*

If you see a clown when you look at a clown instead of a comedian, then you’re the actual clown $$$

(Unless looking at a materialistic Darwinist, then that’s not a clown, that’s just a tragedy )

It is 2:28 PM and I am happy to report a successful midday fishing operation resulting in enough fuel to continue the fight for another 24 hours minimum $

There is nothing more difficult than managing emotional bias while still being fair and reasonable.
Especially when you were the one actively taking damage for doing the right thing $$$

Writing is so hard because Bitchassness knows damn well that once you get the words down, they become immortalized $$$***

The 12 steps, but the street version…
1. This is fucked
2. There has to be something different
3. Let’s try this out. How bad can it be?
To be continued $

Is 3:07 PM
I am stepping out for a smoke
And I just can’t stop laughing at myself.
I was reviewing last year’s projects that are just so extra…. I don’t know how else to say it lol.
I’m laughing though because I knew they were sloshy collages for the most part at the time, 
but I was under so much pressure to try to get back to coaching and sell some e-books that I was basically forcing it.
And while I was certainly on the right street, my God, I was I nowhere near the end of it lol 😂 $

(Prob still ain’t 
Idk who knows lol)

In many ways, I feel so much more sane at this current moment.
Mostly because all year long, I would admit to myself that I knew most things were either trash or unfinished and at the pressure was truly just economical and familial $

The foundation and code of every actual thought does not exist in this reality, but is underneath it.
Therefore, everything is simply an interpretation or a reaction to some kind of thought energy from some kind of entity $$

Just noting for the record that I still have probably 5 mg left on my last 40 mg tablet that I bought two days ago.
I did just buy another 40 mg but the good news is that they have been lasting me about 48 hours consistent, the last few.
Which is actually a little less than my previous pace.
Important to reiterate that even though this is a 40 mg single tablet, it definitely is underdosed and more like 25-30.
my usual 3x10s would last me 36 hours,
& and to confess further, I am only buying the 40 mg single because it is eight dollars while the three count is $10.
Also a gram is $10 but a pre-roll is only five
So by doing the bare minimum, it cost me 1395 instead of 2170.
And that’s a pretty big deal because that’s gas and food money $

Once again, I realize how ridiculous that might sound to some people,
And how romantic it might sound to others,
…
I am just laughing at this point because it is so much fun and so worth it if you could see what I see and feel how I feel $$

And also for pretty much my entire adult life, I had it pretty cozy on the outside.
…
It was just the crippling internal emotional suffering that nearly made me ruin everything lol $*

I never really had to worry much about money other than your normal “run-of-the-mill” stress until I was 29.
And then I decided no more credit cards and no more working for other fuck sticks.
…
And I really didn’t have much savings other than an account that my grandmother had left me, Which was drained first during my last relationship of course lol
…
But to avoid getting too off
My point is that for a decade I could just pull out my card and swipe without thinking twice.
And I could run my credit and apply for any loan and be approved instantaneously
…
My credit was so good for so long that even after three years of absolute devastation, I still get decent loan offers.
Although I am well aware of how shady their terms are, which is why I won’t do it…
…
And once I can, I will be paying back all of what I owe, and I will not be declaring bankruptcy
Even though I could’ve done that years ago
…
I will be making things right my way and I will be writing these checks and I will be filming myself doing it.
I fantasize about when I can answer the call from one of these debt collectors and just pay them on the spot,
And that’ll be the one and only call I take from them this entire time lol $*

Cause as fucked up as our system is,
And as many circumstances and extenuating factors were involved in my crucifixion, I still made that conscious decision each and every time I bought anything $$

I would argue though that spending a bunch of money just to eat with people in recovery,
Or spending a bunch to support a weightlifting lifestyle,
Is pretty understandable and forgivable lol $$

I wonder if people will DoorDash more in the cold or in the heat.. $

Like on one hand, 
you got the depression isolation bundle up movie marathon,
And on the other, 
you have bonfires and kickbacks and get together’s 
…
I don’t know, who knows 😂 $

It is 4:30 PM and just had a glorious game bowl $

I must report that I am being attacked by Robo calls from Google voice search or some bullshit.
I mean, I’m getting like seven or eight back to back a day.
It’s pretty brutal $

I’m just glad I never put my picture on a real estate sign..
I had plenty of business cards with my face on em tthough $

It is 7:54 PM & time for final Sunwalk of the day
I’ve kind of gotten away from logging each one for obvious reasons, but just know that I have been consistent.
…
I think I’ve already gone on 4 today alone.
…
Tan wise, I don’t think I’m quite as much as “a walking glow stick”,
So that’s a pretty big deal,
I’m probably a little red, but I can’t really tell.
I think I’m doing good Microdosing it $

Needs
7 💨🌎 $

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

6-12-26

612

Another super cool day 
…
Another super cool time 
…
Another super cool opportunity 
…
Happy 12:44 AM $

A nice little bit of organic low hanging synchronicity to really get the party started right $

*Lighter flick $

People from Florida are more fucked up than the average
I think pretty much everybody would agree to that $$

…
Maybe it’s something to do with the heat,
But that doesn’t make much sense because most of the world is in a pretty hot climate
…
Maybe it’s to do with proximity to drugs,
But that doesn’t make much sense because pretty much everybody everywhere is strung out, functionally speaking
…
Maybe it’s because it’s so beautiful that there must be something to offset it,
But that doesn’t make much sense because you have every kind of swamp monster imaginable trying to eat you or your pet
…
Maybe it’s because it’s the real CIA headquarters with all the alcoholic fishermen.
Who knows honestly. Probably just a big coincidence how half of my family ended up in Florida… $

unrelated swerve…
…
I just don’t see how anybody could get back into a relationship after somebody cheated on them.
…
I mean, I guess I could be somewhat open-minded if there are kids and drugs involved,
But for romance’s sake? 
just sounds like the most desperate move ever $$$

Here is a juicy tidbit that I don’t think I’ve ever talked about-
Did you know as a kid at one point I was kind of obsessed with the show “wife swap”
…
If you did know, then you must be psychic or some shit cuz I’ve never talked about that. $

I was also was really into the show “extreme makeover”,
The one where that one guy and crew completely renovate somebody’s house in a week. $

…
I also remember really liking the dinosaur programs on the Discovery Channel lol $

& I remember at one point in fourth grade it seemed like everybody around me was absolutely brainwashed by the show “American Idol” $

I will admit that at the time, the terrible auditions are what captivated most crowds $

…
Before the rise of social media and the instantaneous cringe that is now available at any time anywhere $

AnyWho, it is 1:33 AM
I’m sure that last bit makes no sense and I will have some fun editing it lol
I might just leave it just for the fuck of it $

(Was a lil rough but fuck it lol)

The secret to writing isn’t always editing,
Sometimes it’s just commenting on what you already wrote lol $$*

And that’s content for you, baby 😂 $$

I am enjoying a smoke after enjoying the glorious gain bowl, on the simple side $

All a good man needs is a little salt and hot sauce. $$$

I will not speak for what a good woman needs cause honestly, not to sound sexist, and it may be ironic, but I just feel like I couldn’t wish this amount of eggs on any female lol $

But this is my last cigarette for the time being.
I usually just smoke a third or a half throughout the day here and there,
But the middle of the night sometimes I’ll get carried away and I’ll finish an entire American spirit $

….
That’s almost something to brag about in itself $

I will confess I have unlocked a new fear-
…
Stepping on a slimy slug right out the door.
…
I’ve been seeing some lizards hanging about and the cute little brown snake so I hope they’re doing their job
…
And yesterday evening, I had the most amazing moment when I got to witness Roger the rabbit laying down right next to the most incredible blue Jay, who I think was hitting on another blue Jay.
…
I mean, he was literally just laying in the open.
When do you see a fucking rabbit taking a nap in the evening with the sun still up? $

It is 8:04 AM
Just noticed there is a blackberry bush about 50 yards from my front door.
That’s super cool.
It’s growing in the most unexpected spot.
It looks like they need a another week or two to ripen, but there are several berries that look damn good already $

It is 4:45 PM and leaving the lion now after a very humble Haul
We got a can of black beans,
And a roll of paper towel towels,
Can of cat food,
Pack of cat treats,
Pack of smokes $

It’s still pretty crazy how dashing for myself is still the hardest of them all despite how fast and smooth I am now $

I am not kidding when I say that door dashing is arguably one of the biggest daily mobility training challenges that there is.
…
I mean, you’re literally hopping out of the car as fast as you can during busy times with the most emotional people waiting on you while constantly carrying awkward size packages and running into strange environments with all kinds of obstacles and sometimes beasts $$

I am also happy to report a super slick move-
I have reactivated the online store under a new name~
It is now titled “the library of Alexandria” $

If we are here to create a beautiful egos,
And if the greatest power is also the greatest liability,
And if each lifetime is basically like a philosophical leveling challenge,
…
Then I assert that the final level carries the greatest risk of self-destruction, and therefore most people with the greatest potential are the most corrupted $$

Happy 8:28 PM
Enjoying the second half of a smoke
Pretty productive day
I’m probably down playing it, but I’m under a good bit of stress so nothing feels real anyway lol $

But just taking a breather while plotting the next move 😉 $

I think I’m gonna switch my training back to a push pull legs for a week or two and try to go to pump city as much as I can.
I think I still have a good bit of that muscle left over from the winter, signaling wise, and because I’ve dropped a good bit of fat the past couple weeks, I really want to see what we’re looking like with all the adjustments. $

If my calculations are correct, then I should be able to soak up another 3 pounds of water, pushing my true body weight to 
 about 173
And I’m probably right around eight or 9% body fat $

I do think at one point I probably got up to maybe even 11% briefly
But once again, that’s pretty hard to telll when you’re doing true hypertrophy training because you’re gonna be walking around like a water buffalo without a pump.
All that water just sits in your skin if you’re not on PEDS that is $

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

6-13-26

613

Happy 2:01 AM $

Another really cool day $

AnyWho
Just wondering, how many people are going about their day hiding some kind of secret that would change everything if exposed.. $$$

…
How many people do you think you’re going to walk by today That is secretly hiding something that would destroy everything and everyone around them? $$$

You only need a few seconds to get a pretty good sense of who’s delusional enough to think that the truth doesn’t apply to them $$

They say you are only as sick as your secrets
…
And whoever said that shit was 100% right and I cannot emphasize that enough $$$

Friendly reminder that the war drugs is more disastrous, more violent, more destructive, more deadly, more devious, longer lasting, & secretive than any other war $$$*

& Happy birthday to my late best bud.. $$$

You can think of him as a big snowflake that started the avalanche of shit you see today $$*

He was One of the meanest looking, but nicest acting people you could ever meet.
A True Midwest type.
A packer fan cheese head to his core 
…
There’s no other bro that I’d rather eat a bunch of fried southern food in the middle of the Carolina backwards with
..:
He passed back in 2019.
Which Was extra tragic as I still don’t even know all the details because he had become somewhat estranged over the years prior to passing.
He moved back to his home state of Wisconsin at one point as well.
…
I didn’t find out until 18 months after his Irish exit…
I had spoken to him probably a month prior to his passing, probably about some boring real estate bullshit
…
I originally met him my second month in an intensive outpatient here in Charlotte.
While he had a week longer sobriety than me at the time, I had been out of impatient rehab longer, and therefore had spiritual seniority 
…
He lived about 40 minutes away from me.
And I was still the one who lived closest to him locally lol
…
He was the quiet type.
We became good friends because I was forced shuttle him and another friend to and from meetings, three nights a week.
…
The drive alone would take probably three hours round-trip because I was also forced to pick up and drop off a third friend as we were not allowed to “pair off”
(Meaning, we had to stay in a minimum of three)
…
So him and I had a couple different alternate third friends.
One of them was a major friend tho who I would also consider a best friend.
Even tho I haven’t talked to him in a few years, I see he’s doing well, which is great.
…
But I would strategically pick cbiscuit up first and drop him off last because he would just let me ramble about a bunch of bullshit.
…
He was a pretty heavy smoker, but he couldn’t keep up with me when I would start chaining them smokes together underneath the stars 
../
We spent pretty much every weekend for the first three years, eating Bojangles and hanging out in church basements.
…
He lifted in high school, which gave him enough experience to troll me for the first couple years as well
…
His max numbers were respectable, but nothing crazy, 
but definitely enough to inspire me to be better.
We lifted a couple times, but unfortunately we couldn’t really get that part of friendship down
…
After about three years, he drifted away and eventually left the program to “smoke weed again”
He was about 511 and 180 pounds when I first got sober at 18 years old.
…
I would roast him repeatedly because he would blown up to around 230- 240 and constantly be carrying around bags of candy and drinking monsters
…
But within about 18 months of leaving the program, he was down in the 160s (atleast an 80lb bodyweight change).
I honestly can’t say definitively if he was doing anything else besides THC at the time,
but even before that, his reclusive lifestyle of living out in the sticks & hanging ceiling tiles and not doing much else was concerning,
and I was constantly trying to get him to do more shit
…
By the time he left the program, I started working in sales full-time at my first official big boy job.
The last time I remember seeing him was probably two years before he would’ve passed,
Would’ve been in my “fancy house” in Ballantyne
…
We played Madden and had a little cookout.
I’m pretty sure my first major ex was there.
Also, the Midwest type.
So it was just real pleasant good vibes all around lol
…
but by the time I discovered the news in August 2021, I was a month out of the program myself and on the way back from my first weed run lol
…
With another close friend, who I hope is doing well, lol
…
Sadly I never got to smoke a joint with him in the flesh.
I was so emotionally numb from every other area of my life, I can’t even recall my immediate reaction to the news other than “that really sucks”
…
But four months later, after growing some potent psilocybin mushrooms in a giant Tupperware, I would have a transcendental mystical experience and…
Well…
Those are notoriously impossible to articulate…
…
But Basically i was able to catch up with his spirit and get closure during that trip.
…
I say all the time that- that experience truly saved my life .
…
And I thought working the 12 steps at 18 years old during the rise of social media and the height of the war drugs was hard,
But That was nothing compared to the level of emotional trolling that began after that night lol
…
But anyway,
I am now convinced the older that I get, the more I recall that we were connected in lives prior
And most likely in the most recent 
…
It is somewhat of a Segway,
The more bullshit I clean up today, the less gets in the way of my intuition and recollection,
So I can now see most of my major relationships in my adult life were just reenacting patterns that I was quite comfortable and familiar with.
…
Mostly to the positive to support me in my development
But definitely some as learning experience experiences as to what to do different lol
…
That is a common theory that I believe is essentially ironclad fact-
The idea that your journey is preplanned with other souls to a certain extent,
Which is why is easy to click with some people and why others seem like a developmental challenge lol $

(Thanks for letting me share 😂)

Is 3:12 AM now & a perfect time for a smoke.
The clouds literally kinda look like a middle finger right now.
The fact that you can see this many clouds on this night as well, is pretty crazy $

Happy 9:11am from an Aldi pre fuel run 🏃 $

Thinking bout how pets are just philosophical Pokémon of love and cuteness $$$***

Few things worse than being a grown ass man & getting caught staring at other men… by other men staring at other men… lol $$$*

Wish I could other white kids life review when they have to confess how many times they dropped the hard R $$$***************

DMX rapping about Jesus just sounds counterintuitive lol $$$

(Literally 😂 )

Believing in a pharmaceutical solution to a philosophical problem is about as fucked as it gets $$$

…
Just look around… $$

If you really wanna learn about the path of least resistance, then just choose the path of most resistance for a while and you’ll figure it out $$****

Just laughing at myself,
I really was a show off even in rehab.
…
Each week when we would check in, we would have to announce in front of everybody how many meetings we went to that week.
The rule was you had to go to 1 if you did not have group that day (until you got to a high enough level)
So the average count per patient was usually three or four per person per week
…
So at the start of session, they would call out the person’s name, and the person would yell back how many meetings they hit
…
So it would be like~
Steve… 4
..
Rachael… 3
…
Andrew… 5
….
…
..
.
Jarrett… 18
….
😂😂😂
…
I’m not exaggerating when I say that I was averaging 2 1/2 meetings a day.
Some days would be three or more, but my noon meeting didn’t meet on the weekends so… $

Happy 1:13 PM
Just gonna say it is no coincidence the number 8 looks like that 
…
You know, like a vertical infinity sign… $$*

I used to say that the only two things you can control in this world are “your attitude” and “your actions”,
But I’m thinking that needs to be unified down to only “attitude” because sometimes you might not have a choice with the next action,
But you always eat shit with a smile 😊 $$$*

You are just the dot at the end of a spiritual pen, 
being dragged through one event and circumstance after another,
In strange bizarre patterns simply to illustrate a greater idea… 💡 $$*

It is 3:01 PM
Leaving the Lion now,
I’ve got some more eggs and cat food and butter and a box of graham crackers for celebration sake $

Happy 3:21 AM
…
You cannot call yourself a true philosopher if you’ve never Robo tripped
…
And if you don’t know what that means then you’re definitely not a philosopher $$$****

Truly angry people have never either~
A: worked the steps or 
B: tried Molly $$****

You cannot call yourself a true philosopher if you’ve never tried to trip on Benadryl either… $$$

& You’re definitely not a philosopher if you’ve never been on Erowid 😂 $$$

The GEN pop works 9 to 6,
Philosopher’s work 6:30 to 9:30 $$

Ironic that my grandfather fought for the allies but was a Nazi in every other area of his life.. $*

If your only problem is being patient, then you don’t have any real problems at the current moment $$$

But for some strange reason, patience is painful in a way that other things simply can never be $$

Anything with having is worth waiting for,
…
Which means it’s probably founded in love,
…
Which means that it’s probably pulling you towards it,
…
Which means you are likely accountable for a lot of action on the way there,
…
Which means each and every time you go to make a decision- you’re going to experience the subconscious fear of things not working out, no matter what,
…
Which just what it feels like when growing from 1000 emotional paper cuts. $$

…
Ironically, the only way to lower this is to put as much on literal paper as you can $$

It is 5:47 PM
I am officially 2/3 of the way through those crackers 
…
Thanks for letting me share lol $

Kidding aside, I am pretty tired mentally and I am in a balanced, properly parasympathetic building biological state
…
Which is why I’m soaking up these carbs and trying to be lazy as a bear for training tomorrow $

Probably gonna end up losing my car insurance at this rate..
And I’m really surprised my utilities are still cut on.
But I figured this house is also a great tent if they cut all the amenities out…
…
More evidence that I’m getting close motherfuckers… I am getting so close lol 😂 $

But I do need to rest because it is a Sabbath & if I don’t, then I’ll probably end up just doing more harm than good.$

Living paycheck to paycheck is just creative backpacking $$$*

If you do not modify your voice into some adorable tone, then your pets probably can’t understand you $$$**

It is 7:29 PM and I’m honestly pretty shocked at how I can see my muscles coming back in real time.
They never really left, but I mean I am looking saucy Thanks to the crackers and a couple salt shots.
I might be able to fuck around and set a new aesthetic personal best within a couple weeks $

Don’t ever take advice from someone who can’t explain to you how to properly handle a resentment.
…
Doesn’t matter about what, just don’t even go there with them.
Smile & wave while you leave if you got to $$$*

You can’t call yourself a true philosopher if you’ve never poisoned yourself in the name of progress $$$***

You cannot call yourself a true philosopher if you’ve never heard the expression “progress not perfection” $$$*

Almost all emotional pain is inescapable, but the degrees of suffering are quite broad.
…
However, physical suffering is two separate forms:
The kind that you can tune out or escape from with or without supplementation, 
…
Or the kind that is so overwhelmingly intense and primal that it will dominate all other forms of acute pain, including anything emotional $$

Also just finished watching the movie “into the wild” don’t even know how many times that makes it. 
…
Shout out to YouTube movies for having some pretty good movies for free.
That last one said it had ads, but it didn’t $

The lengths that people will go to avoid resistance is heartbreaking 
…
The lengths that people will go to Chase resistance is inspiring however $$$

(Literally)

Oh & You can’t call yourself a true philosopher if you don’t have a ton of fundamental disagreements with most preachers $$$*

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

6-14-26

614

Happy 2:53 AM
Just smashed the rest of those graham crackers $

You know it’s bad when you’re eating with your eyes closed cause you’re still so sleepy $$

…
But when the carb monster comes calling, you don’t really negotiate $

The truth is,
if most realized the true impact of their decisions and the inevitable consequences they will have to face , 
they probably would not be able to live with themselves.
…
Or would feel so shitty that it would defeat any chance they have of beginning the process of turning things around.
Therefore, making some level of delusion a healthy thing lol $$

A common super sketchy version of this is whenever an addic finds out they’re about to get shipped off to rehab so they plan one last big celebration
…
At a certain point it’s easier just to say fuck it and keep digging then to climb out of the hole and fill it back in $$*

I think a secret to power is that you have to love what it is you’re doing or you’ll never be that powerful with it.
Good & bad is all the same.
But obviously the bad carries the bad consequences $

Is 6:35 AM as I enjoy a nice little Sunday morning buzz.
Enjoying swinging in the hammock with the kitty and declining a bunch of volunteer dashes $

Also good important message for the world is when you can, pay the extra 10 or $.15 to buy extra large eggs.
 that is one good deal
 $.10 can get you 25% more calories $$$

I will confess most my calories have come from crackers in the past 18 hours.. $

A good example of why aliens won’t talk to us is the whole Johnny Depp versus Amber heard bullshit.
I know it’s a little dated now, but there is a pretty good series on Netflix $

“I am the best in the world“ is better as a feeling less & as a thought $$$

Imagine being a bad ass adventure warrior knight in a previous life,
Only to end up nervous about which table you’re gonna sit at in middle school 🏫 $$$

Maybe I’m not as cringe as I thought 
Maybe I’ve just had the wrong audience $

It is hard trying to prove to the world that you are the smartest person in it,
But that is technically a task that only the smartest person in the world could pull off so… $$$

What most atheists won’t admit,
Is theyre really just mad at God because one day they got their food too late or slightly inconvenienced and then since they just looked for every hypothesis from that moment on to confirm their own anger $$$

If all of the UFO disclosure basically proves the existence of psychic phenomenon and of God, then you can see why uptight atheists would be dragging their feet on letting that shit go $$$*

Ironically, Mostly because their constituents would crucify them… $$

…
That’s karma for you $

Remembering the time I was stalked by somebody who was incredibly mentally ill,
Went on for multiple years in front of God and everybody in that secret Society and it just turned into a joke.
Meanwhile, this girl was literally beginning to show up at my house and nobody would take me seriously
…
And that’s about as close as sounding like a victim as I’m gonna get for the day lol $

(Point being- people talk a bit game but don’t like to suit up when it comes time to practice some principles)

It is 2:07 PM and just had an amazing gain bowl
I’ve been lucky and had two back-to-back orders from the same Mexican place to the same colonial neighborhood.
So that’s been clutch $

Imagine calling yourself a health professional but all you do is perpetuate sickness $$$

I will admit that after a while, even cutting your losses becomes a little bit too easy to keep doing $$

(Then you just end up saying “fuck it” and giving up on everything quickly)

If being right is the best feeling in the world,
And if most are too stupid to investigate what’s actually true,
Then the next best thing is just being a victim $$$*

You are not allowed to text and drive unless you are responsible for stopping others from texting and driving apparently
…
Cough, cough, cops, cough, cough $$$

Exercise is just a contest against your own bitchassNess $$$

…
Like a dance,
See how many moves it takes to be a better person $

After the resistance games are officially finished then I’m gonna write the “attitude Olympics“ $$$

You can know a bunch of shit, but until an opportunity comes up in which you most practice what you preach, only then will it count as wisdom $$$*

Justified or not,
Some people have never actually experienced anger to the point which they nearly lost control of themselves.
…
But don’t worry their time will come lol $$

Better to get fucked with a smile than to whine when life gives you everything you thought you wanted $$$*******

If you don’t understand how evil Satanists are running the world, then you must not have ever witnessed somebody get the thrill from bullying $$$

If you don’t understand how evil egoists are running in the world, then you must not have experience with two-faced friends who suddenly betrayed you for the sake of their fear $$$

If you’re a grown ass man, and you can’t even slow a teenager down from kicking your ass, 
then you are simply a grown child
…
..
.
And it is probably time for you to start doing the chores… $$$*

Seriously though,
 what kind of drugs do you think aliens like to do?
Because the word on the street is that it is something that little thing called “adrenalchrome” & That you must farm this and harvest from livestock $$

The king of anything should be whoever has done the most respective reps.
In other words, whoever is the most experienced.
Which means somewhere there is somebody who is king of all of the baby back bitches
…
Cough, cough, Lucifer cough cough $$$*

I hope that the angels and ancients laugh at my writing, but I don’t really care cause if they saw my day-to-day I’m sure they would find that hysterical enough $

If I’m the best at just framing shit to my advantage, then that also makes me the best magician $$$*

I might only have $20 but I still feel like the richest alive
…
And I felt like that before I got paid $*

Atheist do have one thing right,
Ain’t nobody gonna save you unless you do the work $$$***

Some people are so difficult to deal with that when describing them it almost makes you seem like a dick because there’s no way someone could possibly be that dumb or delusional, but little do they know that you’re actually toning it down… $$

Just had a pretty decent dash that ended in the neighborhood
But what is most noteworthy is the kind note that the customer left which made the whole dash worth it basically.
Even though the cash was pretty good for that one $

The worst feeling in the world is giving somebody a gift and not only do they not appreciate it, 
but they simply bark and throw it back in disgust because they think they don’t need it
…
Cough, cough, atheists cough, cough $$$

Look, if you want to spend the rest of eternity just reviewing all of the shit that you asked for but ran away from, then that’s on you $$

Assuming almost always makes an ass out of someone
But it ain’t gonna be me because I’m done with that shit lol $***

“Assuming just makes an ass out of u and me”
-Still gold $$$

It is 7:58 PM
Just mentioned that nice dash
All and all on the day, we still made somewhere around 70 or 80.
But half of it I won’t receive probably until Tuesday, which is the day after my car insurance is due.
And I’m honestly still probably at least 150 shy and I think if I fail this one, I think they’re gonna cut it off for real.
So we’ll see how that plays out $

(lol yep basically the care 😂)

I’m not gonna lie, I was feeling pretty low before then.
But Delivering someone else’s pizzas is still better than having your own pity party though $**

And if there’s one thing I’ve learned it is that I apparently write the best when I feel the worst $$

Which is really pretty funny honestly
And clearly has been known by whatever spiritual trolls are responsible for our development 
… 
And a funny how the devil logo is just a spiritual troll 😈 $

I say you do not deserve to get what you desire until you smash the delusion that’s holding you back from it.
…
And that’s also what the Bible and ancients say too so I feel pretty good about that one $$$*

Overall, I think those crackers did their job.
I’m suspicious, however that the calories are not quite as efficient as they claim to be.
If I had 1800 cal of rocket fuel, I should’ve had more energy, is my point.
I’m not even kidding when I say I know they changed the formula on those fucking things and that’s when shit started going downhill
…
I had a pretty big gain bowl earlier so I’m not hungry whatsoever, but I am a little restless and feel like I should eat even though I’m not about it right now
…
I am also very pleased to report that the cannabis and seven hydroxy usage is laughably little.
And I’m making $13 last me two days with some emotional wiggle room.
I have zero cravings for the most part other than boredom from breaks.
But when I’m busy, I don’t even think about it, which is a balanced spot to be $

I believe the solution to any problem is always available, It is just sometimes invisible. $$

The White House has always been an arena.
But this weekend, it was turned into a literal one apparently.
Not sure how I feel about them hosting the ultimate fighter championship on the front lawn on the weekend while they’re actively trying to destroy the world during the week, but I guess that’s politics for you $

Ultimately, you cannot prove your belief system any other way other than action $$

Recall and recognition are two completely different types of memory.
…
One of them is much more difficult and requires a higher degree of familiarity to do,
…
while the other is pretty simple and easy as long as you don’t get in the way of it.
…
And that’s kind of how you start uncovering anything related to reincarnation because after a period of time, you’re gonna start recognizing things, but you’re not gonna be able to recall them $$

I’ve done too many new things and had them turn out to be extremely familiar to believe otherwise $

I also believe if you pick up something quickly and you learn it fast, there’s a reason… $$

I really don’t expect you to believe this…
But I swear to God, I just had the best eggs of my life.
…
I swear I can’t make this up.
The only explanation is they are legitimately magic, serpent eggs 🥚 $

Happy 9:39 PM by the way
Finishing off a cigarette, I’m gonna try to go to first sleep
…
I’m very excited because I think the order to go on the offensive have finally come through and I can finally start talking my shit for real for real 
…
I don’t know who knows wink wink 😉 $

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

6-15-26

615

I just feel like we do the exact opposite that we’re supposed to do whenever someone dies
…
the worst thing you could possibly do is get a bunch of sad people together in one place with the goal of taking shit extra serious
…
I say none of that for me
…
My funeral better be a party.
Or just fucking skip the shit tbh.
…
I promise if I’m dead, I’m aware of whatever everyone else is doing or thinking anyway so if you’re uncomfortable, then I get it
…
I do hope that party is a long way away though
Cause I got a lot of fucking work to do here $

Happy 12:21 AM $

Once it is verified that we have it backwards
And that death is actually birth and birth is actually a form of death,
Then I think we’ll redefine “celebration of life” $$

Seriously~
If you knew for 100% fact with no egg heads fucking with you that you would see your last loved ones again sooner than expected in a good way, 
that would radically redefine every single aspect of everyday life $$$***

All of those accidents, or things that “shouldn’t have happened” would suddenly be redefined,
It would become quite clear that the only reason why challenging things occur is for our own overall well-being.
And while they are always somewhat shitty and painful, they are always appropriate $$$

It would take a bit, but we would be rid of the bitchassness disease for good by simply removing any justification anyone could ever have of being a victim again $$$*

Instead of people blaming God and swearing off forever and ever and starting blood feuds for oil, 
the only thing worth focusing on would be basically making earth the greatest spiritual vacation spot in all of known and unknown existence $$$

Think about how many people are hard-core with their ego addiction and its own unique manifestation because of some original event and which they felt justified to be angry as fuck $$$

It always starts the same way with some genuinely fucked up event.
Before long, it passes the point of letting go & turns sour
Like spiritual farmer carries $$

There’s something oddly comforting watching fucked up Floridians $$

I am officially on season three episode four of “bloodline”
The first time I discovered this series was actually probably 10 years ago.
Which was a fairly wholesome memory.
Me and my ex just binge watched it early summer and ate a bunch of milkshakes and cookout.
And this was still in the first half of the relationship when everything was still good and drama free $

I’m gonna follow that hit of nostalgia with a hit of cannabis 
pardon me for a moment… $

*Lighter flick

I’m sure my ancestors used the light of the moon to navigate,
I use the light from the TV to load the bong lol $$

To be fair, I’m pretty sure they were also getting quite loaded at this time.
feeling like alcohol was the real big thing the past few lifetimes.
Kind of obvious,
& the drunken sailor part of me rejoices at the thought of getting salty on a sloop $

But there’s something far more ancient about this plant & I’m quite confident we go way back
Cannabis was a major crop for pretty much the first 180 years of our country.
…Until hemp was about to destroy the paper industry then it was looped in with other drugs and criminalized…
That’s not even getting to the more likely spiritual/consciousness reason why it has been without from the masses $

Most of the founding fathers were major potheads
But back then, there really wasn’t a distinction.
It was as prevalent as tobacco.
No one really gave a fuck what was in your pipe unless they wanted a hit
…
you could pretty much walk up to any plant on anybody’s property and take your pick $$

When properly weighing the social and spiritual element, the benefits of these herbs outweigh the bullshit nine to one easy $$

It’s almost like it has been cultivated throughout time for the perfect place in our culture.
…Especially as video games and cuisine continue to develop as well… $$

Imagine being so close minded you view the harmless pothead organism as a threat $$$

…
This organism simply seeks to get stoned with some snacks and watch funny videos on YouTube
…
And yet
There is a whole generation of nervous Nancy’s who want nothing more than to have these people incarcerated
….
I know because I grew up with one and she quite literally tried to get me arrested lol (multiple times) $$

Happy 1:13 AM
Just had what could be the best gain bowl of all time.
I know I say it a lot, but I should be saying it a lot if I am continuing to get better $

Pardon me while I stop my child I’m trying to escape…
(Plucks Alex off a screen ) $

Pets are just appropriate prisoners $$$*

As I step out for a cigarette, I am struck with a hostage analogy when thinking about aliens and evil governments, and all of that $

I think that that’s a big part of the reality about this UFO shit,
And evil sex Cabal shit,
I think the equivalent of foreign governments that aren’t really under a flag have the general public hostage in many different fucked up ways,
 mostly involving poison ☠️ 
…
And some super advanced beings out there handling hostage situations can distinguish between the evil ass hats and the misguided ass hats
…
 and the ones who are up to their lids in bullshit but are doing good work 🧢 
…
But they also recognize the meaning behind the madness 
and like a good spotter they are there to assist, but you really shouldn’t be able to tell they’re helping $$

Having a good spotter is 99% psychological $$

Half the time just having that insurance policy is enough to really send it $$

But I would also argue that there is a certain max effort that you can’t unlock unless your ass is on the line $$*

And when we’re playing with time and eternity, we must consult the ancients
…
Which are most likely also the aliens lol $$

I do think the angels are likely distinctly different
This is just based on mathematics $$

But AnyWho
So yeah, magic is real
And the perversion of it is what most people are into sadly without even realizing it.
…
It’s kind of like teens at a party that are playing spin the bottle.
It’s not the worst, but if you extrapolate that shit out, next thing you know you got that fucked up game of “seven minutes in heaven” 
…
And then you got vandalism 
…
and I’m just gonna trail off now because I I’m fucking swerving lol
…
Thanks for letting me share 😂 $

Ultimately, there is no such thing as a reasonable resentment. $$$

…
Just because all resentments by definition are pretty lame $$

It is 4:36 AM
Just having a little brief intermission $

If you want revenge of any kind, then you have failed the test $$$*

Most evil is just a response to another wrongdoing $$$

If your fear is larger than your faith, then you’re going to have a bad time.
…
And probably get tricked into some pharmaceutical dependency $$$***

“Staying busy” is usually just another technique for staying sick $$$*

If you don’t understand how evil Satanists could be controlling the world, then you must not have witnessed how low people are willing to stoop for a new car 🚗 $$$

I can’t remember the specifics, but they did a study recently That basically proved that 80% of people are fine with somebody else dying as long as they feel like they are not gonna get in trouble 
or that they are doing the “right thing”
…
I can’t remember the exact percent, but it was something crazy like that.
 Point being if you just simply change the framing, you’re gonna get enough justice warriors willing to literally kill to avoid personal conflict $$

I wonder how many everyday plants we walk by that hold the keys curing some kind of crazy illness
…
Or are simply the greatest drugs that we have yet to try lol $$

The hardest move is walking away when it is time $$$***

…
And some slithery fuck sticks and ass hats understand this and will take advantage of those who do not have the energy to overcome their trap 🪤 $$$***

I was talking earlier about how radically different people would be if they knew for a fact they would reconnect with their loved ones eventually
…
But also want an echo the same kind of radical impact that~
 if we had 100% proof that basically “shit birds” do actually go to hell,
or that justice is always eventually served no matter what, 
Then I think all need for revenge would be removed $$

…
I also think all original acts that would trigger revenge would be eliminated because few would actually do some fucked up shit if they knew they would have to pay for it $

The only reason why people do fucked up things now is because they truly just don’t believe in the consequence.
They will say they “don’t care” & that is because they don’t have a proper understanding of what is going to happen $$$

I’m not saying therapy doesn’t work,
But it doesn’t work as well as actually working the steps.
& In some cases, it actually does more harm than good, 
but that’s not the therapist’s fault,
that is because the individual is already so delusional that something more drastic is required $$$

Therapy in the hands of the right person, however, can be very beneficial.
…
But again therapy in the hands of the wrong person can be far more damaging, relatively speaking
…
Meaning, I think “bad therapy” is more dangerous and more common than “good healing therapy” $$$

On the flipside,
Street therapy,
 such as the type that you will find in most secret recovery meetings, is far more effective. $$

…
Therapy without a Threat is pretty weak as well $$*

Usually, 
if you really want to change,
 pretty much your entire life and everything you love has to be in the line to be successful lol $$$***

I hope I never forget how at one point in my life,
 I seriously thought a new truck was the solution to most of my problems.
…
To be fair, I really wasn’t that far off because my life was so vanilla and so generic that there really wasn’t anything else left to do lol $*

I definitely don’t have that type of desire any longer but I really do wanna get an RV of some kind 
so I mean it’s kind of similar if I’m being honest $

It is 5:19 AM. We just had a fuel bowl.
I mean, honestly, you can’t beat that as far as balanced fuel goes. it’s not the most nutrient dense thing in the world, but it’s definitely more nutritious than rocket fuel and graham crackers $

Rice is dirt cheap from anywhere pretty much,
So are black beans or any beans really,
And butter is the only thing that’ll set you back about 3 per 13 bowls or something like that.
Might even get closer to 21 bowls out of four sticks of butter 🧈 
…
But I mean honestly, it beats the hell out of dropping like $15 on breakfast or some shit that I don’t really need $

You never forget the day you realize that your doctor doesn’t actually know Jack shit $$$****

Unless you’ve been right about something for decades while the public ignores and blames you,
Don’t expect to understand the ancients $$$***

You never forget the day that your day is ruined by a fancy scale…
Claiming to tell you secrets about yourself and whatnot $

Making someone else feel bad about themselves is worse than doing something bad to somebody else $$$*

Still better to be cocky than timid $$*

Ironic but Never underestimate the lengths that somebody will go to to avoid running 🏃 $$$**

If you never create anything, then you will just be a critic for your entire life $$$

I swear there’s gotta be some strange shit with Miami…
There’s a reason why the CIA types are so concerned with that location $$

It’s important that most realize that most of what is being revealed regarding ancient archaeology is nothing new.
…
I mean, I don’t know how more literal to be
…
it only seems like a new discovery because of how it is being framed and delivered to the general public $$$

But for a long period of time, this information was simply buried and withheld or tainted because of the ontological implications $$$
(& I mean literally buried lol$

Only egg heads who can’t play the tape through would be emotionally captured by academia $$$***

Everybody gets intellectually captured by academia at first,
I mean, that’s literally their job,
and what defense do you have as a five-year-old when your parents are sending you off to a prison day camp while they go to their prison work camp $$

…
But to eventually emotionally buy into your own plight, 
which is known as “Stockholm syndrome”,
to the extent in which you exile your own family…
…
I mean, could you come up with a better definition of hell? $$$*

I’ll wait… $$

Eventually, you learn something to such a degree that it becomes unconscious.
And that is the full cycle of adaptations.
…
You start unconsciously unaware of everything,
But you end unconsciously aware of every possibility $$

…
You may recall times and places in which you learned a certain thing, but that becomes very difficult to pinpoint the exact time in which you passed a certain extent of knowingness and skill $$

The irony that at my biggest, I drove the smallest car, is not lost on me.
…
I remember driving around in Nashville and Tennessee feeling like I was trapped in a clown car (my lovely Mercedes)
…
I traded it in three months later lol
It took me a couple years to realize how literal that analogy was tho… $

Driving by the shopping center me and my friend used to get high at when we weren’t at the mall shoplifting $

…
..
.
Well, just had my power cut off.
Darn.
I also expect my insurance to be canceled & midnight
Double Darn $

So As of 2:10 PM we have officially begun suburban camping 🤦‍♂️ 
…
So I got the windows down And some candles ready lol $

I am also happy to say that somehow someway my gas is still working.
So I can still cook if I have to. 
(If ya know what I’m sayin 😏)
…
But I think I’m gonna go to a more ancient approach,
I think I’m gonna try to get a rotisserie chicken lol
My freezer should stay cold enough for it to stay good until tomorrow $

(lol yea no, I didn’t get a chicken )

I’m also gonna have to switch my primary carb sources back to bread as no more microwave rice.
…
Which honestly isn’t such a bad thing cuz it’s probably time I switch up my base fueling paradigm anyway $

I mean, honestly, I could not ask for a better day to have my power cut off and therefore no more AC.
It is low 80s, partly cloudy, but just enough to keep blocking the direct sun.
Perfectly gentle breeze, just enough to keep the air circulating.
The bugs seem to be on some kind of hiatus.
Knock on wood 🪵 
..
Or maybe I shouldn’t maybe that’ll wake em up. I don’t know. $

Just finished reviewing the journal from the past year.
I’ll confess that I haven’t written it in over five months with the pen.
But I’m not too upset about it because you’re reading the substitute lol $

And to be fair, I would only jot a paragraph a couple times a month and what not mostly because I was so stressed out and buried under so much other bullshit lol
…
But I did a phenomenal job about checking in pre-trip each time $

I intend to write more there, but I mean hell I can only write so much, right? $

It is 8:12 PM and we are finishing a most humble run from the lion.
But some exciting news as we got more PB stuff,
Another thing of eggs,
And cat food and cat treats,
Hopefully enough calories to last 24 hours, but I guess only one way to find out $

Ironic, how atheists are the first ones to usually appeal to authority when losing a debate 
…
You would think they would be a little bit more resistant to cry to daddy, considering they keep denying the big cheese… $$$*

It is 8:55 PM
It is fading light
But already dark inside so I already got the candles going lol
Had an amazing bowl of eggs just a few minutes ago
…
Man, I gotta say this whole camping thing is an ancient level of nostalgia.
I’m so excited just to be primitive that I keep forgetting all about the cannabis and Kratom,
Reinforcing my theory that those herbs only help take the edge off when I’m doing work.
I think I’m gonna try to sleep on the floor too,
Mostly to get more comfortable for the trail and partly because I mean, fuck it why not $

It’s gonna be so ridiculous publishing this in a week
But hey, that’s the game $

(lol yep, fucking insanity 😂)

It is 10:03 PM and I am enjoying a smoke and I am seeing some seemingly strange lights.
They are flashing and moving around, kinda like a plane.
But they’re not going in a linear direction,
It seems scattered.
And the only plane I can hear is very far away in the opposite part of the sky.
It’s not too obvious though, so I really can’t say definitively and I don’t have my glasses, but it seems a little strange 🤔 $

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

6-16-26

616

Good morning world $

It is 7:36 AM $

I know I am reporting late
Last night’s camping went well though.
I did have some trouble falling asleep initially, so I did cheat a little bit and move to the bed, but I am still proud of myself for how comfortable it was without really trying $

And it seems to be overcast today and around 67°
So I mean, I can’t ask for better weather without AC $

If you’re new here and you didn’t read yesterday,
Then I happy to inform you that I have officially reached a whole new degree of the “starving artist phase”
…
They officially cut my power off lol $

Honestly, I’m more proud and excited than anything else
It’s so stupid and so simple but even something as silly as that is giving all of the small things much more meaning $

Such as- trying to properly time when I can buy eggs so they don’t sit out too long and expire $

And patiently waiting for my PB and banana sandwiches,
Which are far more exciting than rice and butter $

And instead of having the big TV playing, I can easily entertain myself with the medium and small screens $

And it would seem that my Jeep can charge my laptop, which can charge my phone pretty quickly $

But here’s the other kicker…
I’m also pretty sure they canceled my car insurance last night…
So that does kind of bother me a bit $

But this is War baby
And if you’re already fucking with my food when I’m just trying to do the right thing and stay true to myself and serve others, then I am not worried about what I need to do to keep up the good work $$

So the plan is to essentially avoid driving at all costs $$

Better to be happy with nothing than miserable with everything $$$***

Happy 8:31 AM
Two things~
First, 
“rape seed oil” just sounds extra fucked
Second,
I assert the overwhelming amount of unreasonable resistance as evidence against psychic bitchass phenomenon $$$

Because there’s really no reason why a seven-year-old should hesitate to pick up a paintbrush and be so afraid of some shit,
…
Unless that motherfucker is gonna go on to paint some shit that radically changes the dynamic between the forces of good evil,
…
And some ethical entity on team “pussy ass bitch” knows this because they are not bound by the limitations of space and time, 
…
and have gotten that way because they have no problem fucking over innocent talented creatives because of their own resentment of never actually trying
…
So yeah, “evidence” $$$

Just imagine the life review of all of the solicitors and telemarketers and petty marketing consultants that put together all those annoying flyers that end up in your mailbox when they have to review everything they’ve ever written from the perspective of others $$$*

(Idk makes me feel better 🤷🏻‍♂️)

At least I know with everything I write, people went out of their way to get the smoke lol $$

…
I mean, literally look at the fucking cover picture 😂 $$$

Remembering the time on my seventh birthday,
When I finally got this cool new bike,
And on the way home, a giant wooden barricade blew into the side of our car and pretty much ruined the afternoon.
Our car was nearly totaled and we have to get a tow.
…
That was the first time I was taken home in the back of a cop car lol $

Only true mass monsters will know the thrill of throwing around three digit dumbbells $$**

I can guarantee you that second Jesus is not vaccinated $$$$$^^^^****

I should’ve known that my life was gonna get weird as fuck when I was nine years old and I was absolutely captivated by “avatar the last Airbender“ $$*

Not to brag, but I just demolished eight eggs.
Extra large.
Happy 1:05 PM
…
You can’t love this shit more than me
And I hope you try to prove me wrong $*

If it’s not the best, but also not the worst,
then that means it’s probably balanced
…
Which is arguably the best lol $$*

Something about being cooped up in a castle seems very familiar and probably the only reason why I’m writing this much $**

I Really appreciate the boys in blue for doing the good work,
But not quite as much as I appreciate the boys and Green tbh
(Garbage bros) $$$*

Both clean up the streets, 
but I have never seen the trash unions Weaponize the legal system against the innocent for more money $$

If you don’t care about the UFO shit then that just must mean you have more important things to worry about
…
But I would like to know what is more important than something that can literally change every single thing you think you know $$$

It is 7:45 PM and I am happy to report Alex has been very playful today with a couple different intense plyometric sessions.
Just gonna do a better job of noting his activity level to make sure he’s getting plenty of exercise whenever we’re stuck chilling in the cave for a while $

It is 8:30 PM
Just hung out in the parking lot for a bit trying to charge up the devices and what not.
Finally back home and ready to settle into camp lol $

I finally forced myself to do a little scrolling on social media and i can reaffirm that it is still a fucking nightmare
…
I was nearly about to throw up just sitting there. mostly because everything was so fake
…
Half of it was the algorithm spam just pushing bad stuff cause it knows im never on it anymore.
…
To be fair most of what I posted has been intentionally kind of cringe because I’ve been so bad at making videos for a while anyway that I just needed to make sure i didn’t bitch out when it came time to publish
… $$

But just seeing how fake everybody is just for the fucking algorithm, under the guise of “health and wellness” just makes me so angry $$$

It’s hard to spend 12 years as a professional hack to curate and cut all that out within one year, but it can be done ✔️ $$

I am also willing to debate anyone that social media is far more mind and mood altering than cannabis
…
Shit, the 12 steps can barely compete with it if we’re going to keep it real
…
Mostly because all the people with a lot of clean time are just neurotic as fuck in their own unique, “enlightened” ways
…
And if you don’t believe me, then you must not follow many on social media lol… $$

So good for you and I’m glad you are here lol $$

(Keep coming back)




Computer charge
Dinner
- eggs
- Peanut butter 
- Water
- Caffeine 
Dash 

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

6-17-26

617

I think the greatest goal to have-
to be the most balanced creature of all time $$$*

Second only to “the most grateful” of course $$$

Good morning world $

It is 1:22 AM $

Just had one of the most amazing PB and banana sandwiches ever $

I had to go buy the better honey peanut butter after buying the cheap shit the first time
Serves me right $

You know it’s good shit when you’re willing to spend your last few dollars on a certain brand $$

I say all the time,
So you can mark my words just like I’m doing now,
Once we have the world’s greatest health club/Street church readily available for the masses,
We will also design the most glorious, gourmet PB and everything sandwiches of all time(s)
And gain bowls $$$

Think if like chipotle and Chick-fil-A and Amelie‘s had a baby $$$

If they don’t let me in the super secret psychic CIA spy program, it’s because they know I’m too competitive and I will get too good and too powerful $$*

The funniest person of all time and the biggest bitchass person of all time likely had very similar pathways in life $$**

If you think you’re tough because there’s no songs that make you cry then it’s hard to put the words how much you’re missing out on $$$

Funny tho that most “Tough Tommy’s” achilles heel is usually just some specific sad country song $$

Money is almost always a proxy for true weakness in other areas of life $$

Hard to make a lot of money without fucking somebody over,
Hard inherit a lot of money without turning into a spoiled shit bird,
Hard to come up with a one few genius ideas that earns you wealth without sacrificing your character,
Hard to find time to work hard without ruining everything along the way,
Hard to continue to choose to Chase money with so many entertaining alternatives $$*

Best way to honor God:
Do what you were trained to do $$$***

“All true philosophers must get truly poisoned at some point ” 
-two-ts Francis $$$*

Hell is just emotional powerlessness $$$***********

Heaven is just knowing all the right TQs $$$

You can speak “Pet” by just adding S’s to every 3rd word $$*

(Very least- end the last word with an s)

The level that my spirit craves the “glory of battle” is quite concerning at this point…
And further evidence of reincarnation $$

…
Cuz idk why else lining up with the musket sounds awesome $

For some all it takes is the smell of a home-cooked meal to remind them of family
…
For me, 
the smell of cigarettes seems to do the trick lol $$

The only way to hide from the truth is to literally hide the truth because once the truth contacts whatever it is, then it’s impact is immediate $$$***

…
Which is why you have egg head satanists covering up big ass pyramids and stones and shit $$$

(I mean literally burying history)

Egg head satanists are far worse than asshat atheists… $$$***

If all evil can do is trick you with your own desires, 
Then just learn to love to get tortured by evil and you will destroy them via their own paradox $$*

(Like a righteous kind of masochist) 

Exercise is all about communication.
So it’s ironic that most bros are so the most intuitive with it $$$*

Greetings from the McDonald’s that I swore I’d never visit again lol $

They have power outlets by the booths… 
talk about the most clutch place to charge & wait to snag a dash or two $

Reminds me of college..
Seriously tho- strange vibes when grabbing my computer to head out the door $

Reminds me that I’ve carried a laptop for work basically my entire adult life $

Most will claim that it’s not a real job unless you have a work computer 💻 $$

The only things that actually exist are the relationships between $$

 Nothing more egoic than somebody who wants you to call them for their advice before you make every decision..
…
Cough, cough, sponsors, cough, cough $$$*

Kidding…
Some sponsors are worth more than gold
…
While Some are not worth shit $$

(Call your sponsor if you’re triggered 
And if they’re not helpful then thank you for proving me right again)

If you’re still a card-carrying atheist in 2026, then you’re even more lazy than stupid $$$*********

I’m sure that the actual heaven is all rainbows and blowjobs and what not, 
but I will commit to the dignity of every moment while here on earth and make it as meaningful and as enjoyable as possible.
…
To such an extent that other disembodied angels are gonna be so jealous that they’re gonna sign up for the same mystery clown college that I apparently once did $$$

I have fantastic news everyone
I have just won the award for being the “most grateful dude”
…
And to my surprise, when I said, I didn’t need it, they actually gave me the award for being the “most humble” as well
…
But they quickly took it away when I told them to put it by the others…
…
..
.
So if you’re reading this, & If you think this is a mistake, and that you actually are the most grateful,
 Then please feel free to comment or message me so I can ensure you get the trophy $$$

It is 3:48 PM and I’m happy to report I just completed a glorious garage workout.
Nothing too crazy but definitely enough $

Another day, another mailbox completely yeeted all over the road $

Which reminds me,
A suburban shit swerve is when you take out the neighbors mailbox on accident and don’t say nothing about it $$***

Fear is not actually painful,
It’s just distracting.
But the consequences from the decisions made based on fear, is incredibly painful $$$

Fear is just the anti desire for pain $$

Kind of ironic…
how atheist are the one’s most resistant to changing overtime $$$***

No offense to “the Jesus”, but unless he knows what it’s like for nothing to be OK while everything is actually awesome then I don’t want his advice on ADHD $$$*

Pants fitting tighter around your waist is never due to a an increase in muscle… $$$

I’d be willing to bet the amount of protein shakes I have drank in the past 10 years rivals any alcoholics liquor, 
just by liquid volume. $$$

 Magic is real and everything is either “trick or train” for the long-term use of such $$$

Birds are so beautiful and they love to show off.
And if you don’t know that, then you must not be in your 30s yet $$$

(You start seeing birds differently the day you turn 31 lol 😂 )

Never good when you see some people walking in your neighborhood with tablets $$$***

Another day, another delivery of hot wings to a farmhouse $

If I am secretly part of some spiritual reptilian species, 
then ironically, I bet you, 
I am closest in resemblance to the tortoise 🐢 $$

I might have been stoned part of the time, but I have strengthened all kinds of people, with heavy stones. Even seniors.$$

^ response to uptight nervous Nancy’s, who are still prisoners in the war on drugs…
On the losing side $$$

I would argue I might have the best bullshit detector,
I just lacked the Will to listen to it for a long time with certain people
 ( cuz of the overwhelming implications that followed…)

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

6-18-26

618

As much as I get a hard on for hard work, I think the whole “ I’m just doing my job” excuse has done more harm than good $$$

Most people are too concerned with rocking the boat, than to go the extra mile to try to fix or change something $$$

Nothing scares some people more than decision-making,
Nothing entices some more than plausible deniability,
Nothing excites some more than absence of responsibility $$$

Good morning world $

It is 1:41 AM and I am having some of the shittiest sleep I’ve had all year lol
It’s not bad, only about 76° or so
But for some reason, some existential stress is eating at me $

Knock on wood I should be only one solid sleep shift away from satisfactory serotonin levels $

*Lighter flick

I’m telling you, 
it is times like this when this herb is worth it’s weight in gold $

But if you offered me this amount of gold, I would just ask to have a exchanged back to more cannabis lol $$

There’s no way this is healing just because of its chemical profile.
My point is that cannabis is not really that intoxicating.
It’s usually one’s intention , reaction , and tolerance that matters most
…
I think that the ritualistic element is just as impactful as the actual profile of the strain. $$

I’m obviously a big fan of the bong,
And doing single decent sized hits instead of trying a corner some bowl,
With that technique, I can smoke six times a day and a gram will last me two days $

This would be a great time to give a good referral lol
…
You know from a cannabis company that could sponsor me…
But alas, I am still somewhat new to the game so there are no current sponsors $

I can’t remember the last time I had a genuine, rookie, smokers cough.
I mean, fuck it, I’m going to knock on wood just to not be a dickhead, but that’s one thing I’m fairly confident about. 
…
But I have had my times in which I had to shove my face into a pillow $

I’m remembering this one time when I was probably 15
I just got this massive 2 foot glass bong, and for some reason on this Friday I had some extra funky skunky 🦨 
…
It was late and I was blazing, and I bit off a bit more than I could blow.
And I remember basically having full on bronchitis for about 15 minutes.
…
And they say that when you cough that it makes you higher, which I am forced to affirm that that is genuine smoking science from the streets.
Cause I pretty much just passed the fuck out lol
…
Next thing i know, my parents were breaking down my door, all angry and upset, and were immediately were confronted with my massive smoking apparatus
…
And these little Lucifer’s fucking just threw it in the garbage 🗑️ 
…
I’ll never forget that but I have forgiven them lol $

I am just simply working on mastering the game of reincarnation leapfrog so when these fuckers come back as my kids or grandkids… $$

It’s a really good Segway for something that’s been on my mind actually,
If I do happen to have kids in this lifetime, then they are absolutely fucked from a discipline and training perspective lol $$$

Which is extra ironic because that is exactly how I ended up in this mess to begin with, by most likely being an alcoholic Nazi with my last daughter. 
…
Which I guess is understandable after being a being an allied pilot/seaman during the war $

I can just tell that my last self did not understand emotional jujutsu.
And I’m sure that motherfucker was hopping from a couple different extra adventurous timelines tho
…
Most likely involving lots of ships,
And woods,
And weapons,
…
And women… $

I also know that if given the Chance, spiritually speaking, I would have chosen parameters so fucked and strict in this life that it would’ve forced me to address those super difficult departments as young as possible $

I really don’t care how much money I make the rest of my life as long as I never feel the craving for Tinder again lol $$$***

And I obviously mean to extrapolate that out and say that I am free from the crushing need of dating and pressure of the whole cultural casual sex bullshit
…
I’ve never been more alone and yet I’ve never felt less lonely over the past year that is $$

And as much as I’ve written, I talk way less than I used to $$

…
Way way Way way way way less when you add up everything I did each day.
…
I mean, 
literally talking for work, 
talking for service, 
talking for pleasure..
Probably trying to get laid lol $

Because I don’t think I was a legit womanizer or anything back in the day,
I just think that most likely during the early years I was the cliché “tail chaser” that ended up settling down.
…
And back in the 50s once you got married, you pretty much ceased all emotional development apparently lol $$*

Cough cough and then there’s the alcoholism part I guess lol $

*Lighter flick

AnyWho, it is 2:14 AM
I Do think I have to eat some more eggs $

It is 2:40 AM and I did it again
I am the master of making eggs
Especially in the dark $

Greatest thing to be the greatest at?
“Making people stronger and happier “ $$*

Isolation & time are always the hardest factors $$

You know it’s rough when you would rather spend your break by the dumpster than by your coworkers lol $$$*

Few things reveal more about one’s character than their diet soda preference $$*

If you’re a diet soda fanatic, then you cannot be trusted with any truly sophisticated anything 
…
Cuz even your hydration judgement has been biohacked $$$**

As much as I hate it,
It’s more polite to stare at your phone than other people,
But bonus points for staring at other people’s phones $$$*

People are usually willing to wait longer for the reassurance of top quality $$

The only way to make cringe less cringe is to change
Otherwise, it’s just gonna get worse $$***

Lifting heavy on the Smith machine is like trying to sweep the carpet
…
Sure, you can use the same movements, but you’re just gonna look foolish and be extra sore $$$***

When struggling to do boring tasks try this new game~
It’s called “big, medium, small”
…
You start with the smallest task or chore,
Something that might take less than five minutes.
Then you go onto a medium, which might take between 15 to 30 minutes,
And then finally working up the energy to tackle the big task between 30 to 60 minutes in length
…
Remember to incorporate some smoke breaks and give yourself some treats accordingly $$$

The energy you think you feel from your last meal likely came from the one before that, or maybe even the one before that.
Just depends on your recent fueling pipeline $$

Listening to the guest on the recent Rogan episode talk about how pale people are at such a high risk for skin cancer just makes my legacy even more bad ass
…
If I can make it to old age while being a slithery snake in the south, regardless of my scale of tan, then that will be even more evidence reinforcing all of this shit that I promote $$$

Never feel bad for somebody else who refuses to read the writing on the wall $$$***

I probably don’t give myself enough credit for breaking free of my Chapstick addiction
…
I mean, there was seven or eight years there at least in which that shit was always in my pocket.
And if it wasn’t, then I was gonna be miserable for the afternoon $

Not all fearful people are terrible, but all terrible people are terribly fearful $$$***

It only cost about $130 a month for about two years to escape the price of being a little bitch for the rest of your life
…
That is what the average jujutsu membership cost $$$***

the worst forms of bitchassness try to use the truth, but in a way to try to hurt you with it $$$

You know, maybe I should advise caution when getting all spiritually skilled,
Because eventually you’re gonna be called on to use those skills,
And the more spiritual they are, the more that relates to ability to deal with bullshit
…
Therefore, the more skilled you are, the more bullshit you’re gonna have to deal with.
…
Thanks for letting me share lol $$$

It is 7:29 PM
Lighting up the first cigarette of the day as a storm rolls in to finally cool things off
…
It looks like the tide turned a bit dashing wise and I’m done pretty decent today.
…
I laugh all the time because it’s just a running joke how I say I’m almost done,
But like for real this time,
And then everything just takes another year lol $

Kidding aside, I really have no idea when this is all gonna get done but as always, we are getting closer $$

If you’ve never been in the middle of the woods when it just started a torrential downpour with no other options, then I don’t think you fully lived $$$

One of the best experiences in life is when you get so soaked unexpectedly that you might as well just hang out in the rain cause it’s not gonna make a difference any longer $$

I say that because I just saw someone sprinting as the storm rolls in lol $

I would take anything discovered by people who believe they are just an “intelligent monkey” with a grain of salt $$$***

Kind of seems like not acting like an Assjack is more therapeutic than just about any other type of therapy. $$$

Metabolic malfunction kills more people than anything else.
Which means either-
 A) that most people are so stupid They can’t even stay alive when something else isn’t even trying to kill or eat them.
…
Or B) that means that there’s something invisible that’s actually tricking them in order to kill themselves from the inside out
…
Which would you rather believe? $$$*

The most ironic part about 2026 is the proof that cheeseburgers are actually one of the healthiest things you could eat,
The trick is just not getting carried away with the sides and dessert $$

Just left the lion for another legendary haul-
This time I got some saltine crackers
Some grape jelly
1 pound 7327 ground beef
Cat food
And a bottle of ketchup
So I have enough for some PB&J‘s and some crackers $

The pound of ground beef is now gone
And I’m proud of myself $

You’d probably have a website too if you grew up as a skinny fat ginger in the south🫚 $$*$

And of course it would be a blog if you want to Christian school 🏫 $$

Money does not make the world go round,
The right words do $$**

I am a product of my environment.
And if my environment is half poison, then you can bet your bottom butt that I am gonna be pretty venomous $$$***

Happy 10:21 PM
Polishing off smoke now trying to get ready for bed
Feels good to have a belly full of beef again.
I miss being able to eat about a pound in the evening and then just run on fuel for the next 24.
Metabolically it is when Im at my best and smoothest.
It’s and interesting game tho, not having any power therefore any refrigeration lol $

The worst part about this whole process is just waiting.
At this point, the creative work doesn’t take too much energy, but I still have to allow my brain and vision to recover or else I’ll just start dismantling shit.
…
It’s exactly like actual training.
You gotta know where you’re aiming
Unless you’re just fucking around $$

Besides the award for the “most grateful”,
I would also like to work towards the “least wasteful” $$$

I already won the award for the “most humble”,
It is next to the award for the “most delusional”,
Which is also next to the award for the “happiest under resistance” $$$

Only those who have really lost it end up with metal detectors on a beach or in a field $$$*

It is now 11:25 PM and I am happy to report that I am watching the new “Beavis & Butthead” on Netflix $

I knew I was destined for greatness the day that I kick-flipped the five star at my elementary school
…
Or when I tre flipped the curb gap $*

If you genuinely think that you are growing and being a better person every day, then it becomes easy not to take yourself so serious $)

One moment, you’re getting kicked out of high school for a pocket knife,
Then 13 years later, your discovering m you fought Nazis World War II lol 
What an arc $$

Those dudes who are crazy captivated by history and are basically hoarding Shit, probably got killed in a war or two & can’t let shit go. $$*

While the ones who were victorious and honorable are likely balls deep in the next one $$

I imagine that in 30 years from now, I would tell my 32-year-old self to relax and enjoy the weed and the crackers $$$

I might’ve forgotten to note for the record that I also bought creatine
Awesome to see creatine finally getting the respect it deserves in the press
I say take as much as you can each day because it’s basically like an electrolyte for your brain
And it’s also like an electrolyte for your electrolytes $

It is 11:54 PM
What an amazing day, beating bitchassness at its own game $

It is time for a celebration cig $

I’m not even trying when it comes down to sleep. 
I’m just gonna keep going until I pass out apparently.
For now, I’m just using it as additional recovery time to settle my brain and digest things but soon I’m gonna be social again
…
I can feel it $


All in all, though, I gotta say it was a fantastic holiday, celebrating freeing of slaves

Just really hoping that symbolism carries through the 21st-century lol

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

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SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

6-19-26

619


Oh hi there what’s up?
…
Yeah, not much just watching Beavis and Butthead $

*Lighter flick $

Happy 3:16 AM
I am thoroughly soaking in the moment
It is also raining quite nicely $

I feel like soda is one of the sneakiest most mischievous things that we normalize that has sabotaged society more than anything else $$$

Soda is worse than alcohol overall $$

If anything, I think soda should have a legal limit and age restriction $$$

I feel like if we treated soda like we treated drugs and incarcerated pretty much all of the self-made diabetics $$&”$

The fact that a large group of the population will reach for something fruity whenever they feel thirsty is nothing short of bio hacking $$$***

water is still cheaper than soda,
and is sold in the same place $$$

Don’t get me wrong,
Every philosopher should have his poison,
But my God, soda is just a dumb poison 
…
the reward is so stupid
A brief taste buzz plus a sugar rush plus a low-grade caffeine tolerance $$

Speaking of poison
In my haste, I accidentally bought the jelly that has the high fructose corn syrup.
…
It’s not that big a deal, but after doing some trial over the winter, I have concluded overall that hyper-corn syrup might not be as dangerous as they say, but it is definitely not nutritious and does basically trick your body into storing fat and a much higher rate $$

All right, hard swerve,
Getting into the good stuff…
…
Reincarnation leap frog is obviously a thing,
And so is the concept of a soul marriage
…
Not talking about the physical wedlock here on earth,
Talking about two souls literally fusing into one new embodiment of awareness
…
Therefore, I think you can be multiple souls reincarnated this go around.
You can think of like the water cycle pretty much.
…
But I think there has to be a predominant leading soul or some kind of previous experiencer that serves somewhat of an anchor.
Think major/minor kind of shit $

Remembering the time in eighth grade when we were doing our pre-launch prayer and I farted really loud…
I’ve never been the same since
Happy 8:27 AM lol $

I can’t stand why I can’t sit still sometimes $

(lol)

Logging an amazing but slightly poisonous PB&J at 10:03 am $

Just finished a lil warm up dash too $

Yelling bible verses at gay people is the gayest thing you can do $$$*

Nothing wrong with being physically gay,
But philosophically gay is another thing $$

Life is less about right and wrong and more about what could & couldn’t be $$

Imagine making a little oil money one minute and then corrupting your entire family bloodline for the rest of eternity the next…
Because it’s hard to have one without the other $$$

Best ways to give somebody cancer:
- Poison their food
- Poison their water
- Ruin their environment
- Ruin their relationships
- Stress them unrelentlessly
- Remove any therapeutic outlet
- Censorship $$$****************

You don’t know the struggle if you’ve never been in a situation in which they were trying to take your shoelaces away $$$***

If you’ve never been truly sober, then you cannot consider yourself as truly strong $$$***

It is 12:17 PM & time to run up and down the street like a lunatic in the name of health and wellness $$

The only time a light run will not help you feel better after is if you are already an extreme runner,
in which case this is a better problem to have $$*

Scientist’s: “You really shouldn’t expose ginger kids to the direct sunlight, especially in the south”
…
My Parents: sign him up for back to back to back summer camps $*

(& thank god they didn’t listen on this one)

When someone already knows what to do, the only thing you can improve on is their own belief in that they know what to do,
…
And the only way to improve one self-confidence without nurfing the meaning behind the struggle is to constantly try to trick them so that way they are reassured of their own strength $$

If someone always fights your battles for you, then you will never feel the same kind of completeness that comes from combat $$

I won’t lie,
 I spent a long time confused as to why everybody was singing about their grandfathers.. $$

Passing the paramedics on the same street as your late friends is always a bittersweet.. $$$

You never know what could happen on your neighborhood walk
…
Not to brag, but I’m pretty sure I just stopped a dog from getting squished by a car.
And I got to meet another neighbor while I was at it
And the dog was absolutely adorable and made my afternoon $

I must give a shout out to another neighbor for the assist.
L****, who ironically was one of the nervous Nancy’s who called the cops on me when I was a teenager
…
I don’t think she knows i know it was her though…
…
She’s also the one that I smile and wave at most often when she’s on her bike or working in the garden.
…
And I got to meet Kiki and the dog Mando
…
What a gift $

Believing that you are some kind of advanced monkey just makes it harder to be a good person
…
But definitely not impossible so you fucking atheists got no excuse lol $$$***

You’ll never regret being extra patient and extra present
…
But you can easily spend the rest of your life regretting how you couldn’t wait just a little longer 
…
Or you can spend your life gaslighting yourself about the opportunities you may have missed despite trying your best
…
Which is why balance is most important lol $$

Biologically, I’m sure my people came from northern climates so I have an advantage against the cold,
But recently,
 my ancestors came from Florida and the swamps so I also have a bizarre heat adaptation $

It is 4:13 PM
Just got done posting up at McDonald’s for about an hour with no luck lol
But they do have the outlets by the booth so I was able to charge up some $

Not the worst day so far dashing wise, but really hoping for a strong evening $

Also had a Nice lil exchange with a curious employee $

Won’t be long before fit conscientious people take over the world $$$$$$$***

Heaven is prob just one big AA meeting $$*

It’s not about helping others,
It’s not about helping yourself,
…
It’s about helping yourself in a way that happens to benefit others $$

The moment dumb dick-sticks started valuing gold over honor is the moment things really turned extra bitchy $$$*

Just Because it came out of my mouth, doesn’t mean that it didn’t go down my ear tube first $$

(What the actual fuck lol 🤦‍♂️)

Also, random important anniversary-
I’m pretty sure Today was my last workout before taking four months out of the gym last year 
…
While I am glad that I had a long break from the crowds and the culture and cute Shawtys, 
it was not by choice.
…
It was because I was either too broke, too busy, or too sick to justify anything beyond a garage workout. $

I couldn’t pay my crunch bill for like four months and eventually they just cut me off and quit calling
…
But I have a magic Planet Fitness membership that I don’t have to pay for due to a secretive loophole with an old insurance incentive $

I actually have another membership at golds gym in South Carolina Charleston lol
…
I’ve had it for almost 10 years now and never paid a dollar for it
Probably only used it five times or less lol $

You can’t call yourself a fuck boy from the south if you’ve never taken a cute girl to Charleston under preverted pretenses $$$***

You don’t know cramped if you’ve never piled 6 deep into a coup $$$

If you’re really that conflicted about your diet strategy, 
just give your abdomen a little pinch and boom!
there’s your dinner for the evening lol $$$

It is 6:06 PM and we are posted up but it is really slow so knock on wood
I’m hoping that changes lol $

The only thing worse than receiving calls from debt collectors, is to be the one having to make them $$$*

If power always corrupts, then the only way to defeat it is to find somebody who was a initially corrupted but who as risen above their own bitchassness
..
And give this person power $$

If your goal is to learn as much as possible, then you should hope shit gets fucked up fast $$***

I talk shit because it’s ridiculous sometimes but voice to text is really super secret weapon
…
If anyone of the old writers would’ve had this TQ back in the day, then I am convinced they would’ve been way better so gotta give em a little slack $

But it allows you to transcribe your thoughts in real time fairly quickly and efficiently with little bullshit. $

Happy 10:34 PM
Just smashed another pound of ground beef
It’s not really that difficult to be honest.
And truthfully, you lose probably a third of a pound due to fat and water via cooking.
But that’s still about 100 g of protein and enough fats to power through the day $

I had a sleeve of crackers earlier and two PB&J’s all day.
Dashing was a joke, but I was able to do a lot of touchups and final decisions while in parking lot and at the McDonald’s $

And honestly, 
I’m totally fine with this whole process taking so much longer than I expected because of how beautiful it is 
…
and to be full circle finishing work back in at McDonald’s is a somewhat special suburban sync $

In other news,
Because dashing was so shit, we are now about to enter financial overtime once again with the cell phone bullshit
…
T-Mobile let me split the payment in half and delay it by two weeks.
To be honest, I barely rarely ever even make the first payment, and usually I end up having to scramble in overtime to make up the whole thing. $

If dashing was as busy as it was when I first started back in October, then that would be a joke to make today.
…
But of course, throughout this whole process and all this economic war bullshit, the demand dried up months ago, as I have made plenty of notes about lol $

For a couple months, it was enough to pay everything but then it quickly dwindled down to just food and fuel
…
And now it’s recently been barely $200 a week $

At its peak, it was about $600 almost 700 week
I won’t go into tangent about the logistics in particulars now, but I’m also certain that there’s some corporate bullshit behind it and they’ve been manipulating offers and what not
…
I’m rambling cause I am stoned and smoking, but I’m just so satisfied with how the training deck has come out
…
And how much extra discipline points I’ve earned this past year lol $

Creative work aside, 
simply having this year of spiritual Boot Camp once again to make sure that I cleaned up my dumbass from my early 20s,
And to guarantee that I don’t become like the sad sacks of shit that I see everywhere is worth everything 
…
And I don’t mean that to be mean, 
I mean that quite literally that most people are sad walking sacks of mostly fat & bacteria 🦠$$

(Harsh but where’s the lie?)

Anyhow, I’m just hoping for a good night sleep because if I’m being honest, pretty much all week has been pretty trash since we started camping.
That’s to be expected, but it’s synchronized with the stress, of course $





—————

Food
Phone

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THOUGHTS I HEARD

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SUBURBAN SECRETS

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WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

6-20-26

620

Happy 9am $

Headed to pump city 🏙️ $

You have permission to randomly bark at anyone who stares too long
…
Set & setting irrelevant $$$***

One thing that’s been a little bittersweet to realize this past year,
Is that for pretty much 12 years I was probably poisoning myself with protein shakes more than I was actually helping my recovery
…
It gets worse when you think about all of the plastic shaker cups that I carried around on my hip the entire time lol $$

I’m telling you that if micro plastics were really that bad, then everybody would be dead by now $$$*

When you see a person blame their foolishness on their biome then you know they’ve reached next level bullshit $$$

(I would fairly add tho that a bad biome will definitely make it harder to not be a dick)

I would also argue that sweatpants are probably the most ironic piece of clothing in all of existence $$$

I also say that it’s probably better to shower before your workout and to simply change your clothes afterwards
…
This will improve the gym aroma and your skin biome in time.
I promise as long as you’re showering every 72 hours or so and you’re probably not gonna smell that bad $$

(It’s your clothes that need to be changed daily most)

If you have to sit facing the door then you probably have been thru some shit $$$*

You are not your feelings
You are simply responsible for using them to figure shit out $$$

It is 1:40 PM
Just finished a bunch of work at McDonald’s for about an hour or so.
I gotta say that it feels so delightful today that you don’t even need AC.
And the bittersweet part is I’m certain everybody is outside which means they’re not at home ordering food lol $

I have already begun working on my strategy in case my phone gets cut off… $

The good news is for all of the important work, I actually probably don’t need more than a corner booth at The McDonald’s to keep that going.
But if I actually wanna be able to eat and have candy then I’m gonna need the tide to turn a little bit lol $

I’m happy to report that my hunger is pretty good and manageable
Had a PB&J earlier, which seemed to have worked well $

If my theory about the weather impacting dashing is correct,
That means the only people ordering food are either trapped working professionals somewhere,
Or b, 
reclusive blob monsters who don’t tip well anyway $$

Either way, I am keeping my focus on the important stuff $$

*Lighter flick

Friendly reminder that just about every “new discovery” is actually some really revelatory shit that we’ve just been suppressing for a long time for whatever reason $$$***

Nine out of 10 times,
 if it threatens quarterly earnings, we’re not gonna hear about it for another quarter of century $$$****

It is crazy to me how people will admit that they’re probably is some repressed technology, 
but then certainly act a fool when they apply that logic to how technology may have shaped the propaganda to begin with $$

Most are so arrogant to think that they would know if somebody was hiding some shit…
But they are so distracted hiding their own bullshit that it actually is very easy to hide shit $$

And once again the proof is because they are getting away with hiding their own bullshit lol $$

Like if you could fly planes with your mind, what kind of propaganda do you think you could promote? $$$

To be fair, though, 
I think that in order to gain access to the true highest levels of magic, that you’d have to be a master of your craft to begin with.
…
And if it’s one thing i know, 
it is that true masters are always gonna do shit the old-school way if they have the chance $$

Healthy shit is by definition scary shit.
because ain’t nothing better for your health than facing your fears $$$***

If you woke up today and did some shit that you really didn’t wanna do, then I am proud of you $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Satan is just an spiritual ookie who started to take shit too personally $$*************

Happy 3:15 pm
Just smashed another sleeve of crackers.
Amazing $

Jokes on the forces of evil for making me attend public school,
Apparently I focus better testing in the most ratchet and sketchy environments lol
…
Happy 6:02pm from McDonald’s 😂 $$

It is 8:07 PM
Not gonna lie I was just assaulted by my own bitchassness for a little bit there.
…
I took a shot, and a hit, and a small slice,
& Said a couple prayers.
Time to go on a walk $

(Not in that order lol)

Every problem everywhere is born out of lack of healthy self belief $$$*******

It is officially still bright as fuck at 9 PM
time for a stogie $

I am now two shots, two hits, and two slices deep.
And also 1 pound of ground beef he he
…
And now I’m getting really good at making that again.
…
 that shit was so fucking good. I could’ve almost eaten a second pound. $$

(lol the alchy clearly beginning to work its magic)

I’m telling you that all you need is some salty beef
…
Eggs are still probably the single greatest food for you though, 
but eating a dozen of those in one sitting isn’t really that ideal digestion wise.
…
But beef on the other hand digests much slower so you can eat much more of it $$

And when you’re genuinely truly hungry, you can salt the fuck out of it and eat as much as you can fit down your mouth tube and you’ll be good for at least 24 hours or longer if shit hits the fan 
…
I mean like without becoming angry or emotional or bitchy.
…
And that is really what matters most these days $$




Beef
Buzz
Booze
Social
Touchy



Octaves touch up
Text/ outline / overview 

Air & water adjustment 
Adept star replacement 

Card overviews 

Math explanation revision 

Overview
How it works
Guidelines 
Gains & goals

Fire cuts
Air cuts ✔️
Card Cuts

Zodiac group

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

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SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

6-21-26

621

All skills take a tremendous amount of reps to truly develop,
Which takes a long period of time,
Which means that a lot of people around us likely had to deal with a lot of our shit for a lot longer than expected,
So take a moment and give a special shout out to other people who may have supported you when things were extra shitty $$$

I will not allow the world to existentially call it quits just because things get a little tough.
That just means there’s much opportunity for us to do better for longer once we get our shit together $$$

The tougher things are now, the more kush they are going to feel once we get our shit together $$!

Happy 2:55 AM
Did you like that intro? $

(Ehh 5/10 lol)

I’m not trying to get too cute. 
Sometimes these thoughts come in hot and I have to scramble for the notepad. $

*Lighter flick $$

This is one of the greatest days of the year
It is also the official “go skateboarding day”
It should also be the longest day of the year $$

I will confess that one year ago this time is when shit got really fucking weird for yours truly.
Kind of like that when the philosophical walls start talking to you…
I’m sure the Adderall detox was part of it lol
…
But this time last year the stress from the family shit, and relationship shit, and biological bullshit was already beginning to deteriorate me $

it’s rough when you know you’re about to have to rebound to get your shit together
…
Which usually means a last-minute nose dive to rock bottom to gain some momentum on the way back up again lol $$*

So this time last year, I knew I was at least three months away from feeling better at all naturally,
But then the family stress piled on top of that was absolutely brutal.
Then came the financial desert and the starving artist phase lol
…
I can’t even begin to count how many eggs I’ve had at this point
We’re definitely in the thousands $

But AnyWho
Sorry, not sorry to my future self for having to edit this shit $

(It’s all good 👍🏻)

it is 3:06 AM and I am enjoying the rest of the smoke before I go slither back in to try to find some rest $

I think I’m gonna try to sell a bunch of weights again
I’m not gonna have much else of an option lol $

I’m probably gonna have to get creative with the finances, but I will do my best and make plenty of notes about it $

The good news, though is that I really do think the games are for the most part, ready to roll
So I have a twofold attack plan
…
One activating the online bookstore,
there should be a bunch of guides and workouts and stuff in there soon
…
And second is to flip some of these old rusted weights around here and get some painting parties going again
…
And of course, defeat bitchassness at every twist and turn $

If you spend the first half of your life destroying yourself but also developing the fastest most comprehensive recovery cycle,
Then you can easily spend the second half of your life profiting of the resistance $$

Those who crave sugar first thing are lower on the consciousness scale than those who look for salt $$$***

Getting mad at God for a difficult experience is like getting mad at the dumbbell for being heavy $$$*

It is 9:31 AM
Just completed a warm-up dash but I am under attack by my own bitchassness
So I’m going to take some caffeine and use my last bit of bud to see what happens $

There is a special kind of hell whenever you wish you could feel better, but you just can’t.
& Because you’re in so much pain you just lash out at those close to you, which just makes the problem even harder to deal with cuz now you have to add in the complication of emotional ownership on top of whatever physical or physiological malfunction may be taken place behind the scenes $$

I know I’m gonna be OK in about 20 minutes but Jesus Christ how I feel right now is just absolutely awfull
It’s not even that bad comparatively speaking, it just is compared to normal resting healthy baseline $

This is a classic depression anxiety induced due state
This is how I lived my life for most of it..
…
Right now, I am triggered because I have a ton of legitimate circumstantial stress.
I mean, literally I’m about to lose my phone service which is the only means I have to feed myself so I would say that some of it is justified.
Meanwhile, it is Father’s Day, and I have to try not to be angry at the irony $

I know it’s bad when I don’t even have the patience to correct voice to text or when I’m getting mad at Alex for nothing $

And sometime it just gets worse whenever a supplement actually does solve the problem because then you feel like you’re broken and it makes it difficult to work the steps the next time $$

But if you don’t practice the principles, even with a little bit of plants and powders, then you’re gonna have a lot bigger problems $$

At this point, my goal is to try to hustle up as much cash as I can for today to live on through the week while I try to get all these weights listed and e-books posted $

I am not complaining about the situation. I am just stressed about the reality of the timing.
For the past couple years, I lived in the delusion that I could basically spend an afternoon listing everything and then I’ll be instantaneously rich 
…
But the reality is, just the simple methodical process of making sure the smallest details are in place properly is the exact same as getting strong stronger via training,
You really are only as good as your recovery $

You’ve reached next level stupid when you start thinking GLP-1s increase testosterone $$$***

If being human is the most badass honorable thing there is, 
then tricking someone into thinking they are a smart monkey is about as evil as it gets
…
& stupid $$$

lol just laughing at how many emotional white belt atheists are going to lose their shit at that last line $

Only bad teachers blame their students for anything $$$*********

If you are craving a taste of different cultures, just go hang out at your closest McDonald’s and you’ll see the world without ever leaving your booth $$***

Most people unknowingly poison themselves 30 times a day,
I am just intentional about it $$*

Here’s a crazy bold idea~
Let’s just get all prissy physicians kids and put them in the office buildings with very dim lighting,
…
Let’s feed them poison and pastries and get mad at them when they can’t sit still or when they want to go outside
…
And after the third strike, let’s just give them some kind of pill
…
And after that, just increase the dose until the problem resolves itself
…
And repeat until all of the physicians have come to their senses $$$

Seriously though,
Most people would just rather make a profit than make a difference $$$*

Most would rather be bitter and resentful than to surrender their own bullshit $$**

Most would rather hate others than help them $$**

The reason why the crazy cannibals are not getting caught is because there is an overwhelmingly large part of the population that envy’s them,
And would gladly make the same sacrifices for power, if given the chance
…
They’re just too stupid or lazy to make it high up the literal food chain.
… 
but that doesn’t mean that they wouldn’t love to be a satanic cannibal if they were given the chance $$*

A victim’s favorite thing to do is to talk about problems,
A victim’s least favorite thing to do is to admit that they are being one though $$$****

I guess I’m hoping that most dads would prefer DoorDash instead of dining out today $

Whatever hurts today will hurt less tomorrow
Except for petty bitchassNess, that shit always hurts $$**

Been emotionally offline since 1999 lol $$

Lolololol at the fact I’m getting articles showing that smoking weed protects your brain as you age 
…
BEEN TRYING TO TELL YALL FOR YEARS LOL $$

You can’t call yourself a true philosopher unless you’ve been arrested for some BS $$$*

…
Like idk, for a roach clip while relaxing in your own driveway
…
WHEN YOURE ONLY 16 YEARS OLD $

(Butthurt is not the same as resentful 
But I don’t expect emotional Amatuers to understand that)

Wearing flip flops in the McDonald’s bathroom is about as dangerous as it gets these days $$*

I must appreciate the irony that I am once again doing most of my work from a McDonald’s 
But this shit beats behind the counter overnight 13yrs ago for sure… $

If I wasn’t super honorable and disciplined in a previous life, 
then I was probably the exact opposite and have been simply paired with a recovery Nazi spirit guardian $$

I find it funny how I’m OK with being the best or the worst at something as long as I am special lol $$***

I know I was joking earlier when I said that I’m either a reincarnated pilot or a reincarnated ass hat,
But the strongest evidence that I have that I am basically my/a grandfather reborn is AA
…
If it wasn’t for doing 9.3 years sober as a judge, I’d probably would’ve just assumed that maybe my grandfather was a spirit guardian of sorts.
…
But that is literally a program to clean up your own mess and I highly doubt I would’ve been subjugated to that if I did not have it coming in the first place lol $

I would argue that the 3.6 years in which I was a crazy adolescent in this life, even when combined with organic ADHD, is not enough to sentence somebody to a lifetime of church basements 
…
However…
…
If I was a dick nose in a previous life, and was extra self-righteous and self-centered, then I can totally see how I would get trolled early in the next incarnation lol $

As of 4:36pm we have completed a fair amount of digital work, while being stellar with mind and mood altering substances
…
We are at two total hits of cannabis
And three shots of squirt on the whole workday $

Not wise to try to defeat your lower nature,
Very wise to simply try to balance it $$$

Always better to wait an extra hour as a G than rush like an child $$$*

If you really wanna celebrate Father’s Day, then just go sit in traffic or in a long line while everyone else goes first.
Cuz That’s how fatherhood really feels $$$

Better to just smell like sweat instead of some cringey cologne cocktail $$$***

Tis 6:25pm and thank god I had some emergency crackers on standby cuz I probably woulda passed out by now $

Currently enjoying waiting and extra 20min at Hawthornes lol
Extra awesome after waiting 20 min at empire
But whatevs $

If anyone really wants to challenge me in “who’s the most patient” competition, then good fucking luck hahaha $$$$$$$$$$$$$

(Talk to me after doing a decade sober during the “prime of your life”)

The most experienced should also be the most balanced otherwise they are not really the most experienced $$$

Miles with the vest are still easier than minutes on the floor… $***

Training is either doing the right thing the wrong way,
 or doing the wrong the right way
…
Either way it should be balanced lol $$

Pretty crazy how well my body is metabolizing some fat.
Been out of electrolytes for hours, in a “super deficit” at this point,
Nearly went hypo at the empire pizza,
Could tell my body panicked a bit and pulled from reserves,
Smashed some saltines and some salt shots and a lil rest on the ground and I feel better energy wise than previously $

Tis 9:24pm and the dash is still going.
Triple knock on wood but there’s a chance I may be able to scrounge up enough to keep the phone cut on
But the game isn’t over yet and just taking one op at a time $

Cigarettes don’t actually smell that bad.
But cig smokers usually do $$

It is 10:33 PM and I have bittersweet news,
I was able to make a payment so hopefully they won’t cut me off tomorrow morning
…
But it looks like I was not able to scrounge up any extra money for dinner..
So that honestly kinda sucks $

I’m really not even that physically hungry, it’s more so the philosophical shitty situation that’s warranting some bitchassness on my part.
It’s tough delivering everybody else’s dinner all day long only to not have any for yourself $

(Worth it tho)

Nice move, satan 
…
But whatever 
This too shall pass 
And I’ll have food soon I’m sure.
So until then, I’m just gonna try to let it go $

Just posted some shit to complete the day lol $

🧙 $$$

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

6-22-26

622

*Lighter flick $

Hehheh hehgheh hggghheh $

That’s the beavis and butthead laugh in case you missed it $

Did you know if you plant a cigarette butt, that you can grow a cigarette tree? $$

Just realized this show is stealing my technique
They’re having cut scenes when they just comment on the TV their watching $

Sabrina Carpenter is a threat to our society and civilization $$$

I know she doesn’t seem like it, but based on her impact on my ex, I feel I am obligated to warn the world $$$

Her Music isn’t even that bad ngl 
which is kind of the problem
…
She’s the equivalent of a female fuck boy and not in a good recovering way from what I can tell $

Maybe I don’t actually have ADHD
Maybe I was just a farmer in a past life and I was used to always doing shit $$

Happy 12:59 AM by the way
Don’t mind me as I celebrate a miracle hustle yesterday 
…
Knock on wood, but I do believe my phone should stay cut on for now lol
But I am pretty hungry and I do need to find food first thing in the morning $

Not to be dramatic, but this is one of the few times where I’ve truly had to go without dinner despite wanting to eat.
And it feels strangely familiar…
Like an ancient nostalgia… $

And I feel quite confident if any of my crazy theories are correct, that food would’ve been a struggle for many of my recent ancestors $

I know my grandfather had some fun during the Great Depression
Which is partly why he learned how to make everything
Because you had to… $

But I will confess that I do technically have some bread and peanut butter so if I get stoned enough, it likely I might end up making a PB sandwich
…
I threw away the jam because I can’t refrigerate anything and it’s been a couple days so lol $

But that is actually kind of a secret stoner superpower,
Let’s say it like this,
If your body becomes familiar with cannabis and becomes acquainted with eating after consumption, 
then when you do not consume any cannabis, you will not be hungry, therefore making it easier to burn fat $$

Part of the reason why most stoners are so lean is because they actually don’t eat that often,
You just become accustomed to binge eating with the munchies 
Just like you can adapt to anything.
…
And it’s really not as bad as it seems because biologically we kind of favor that technique $$

But for real, there are some serious physical recovery benefits from cannabis.
…
I noticed them almost instantly five years ago.
I wasn’t doing as much functional movement stuff then but I was at the height of my powerlifting strength and it was big deal even then.
But it’s really best for cardio and endurance related activities $$

But I really do think besides some of the biological benefit, it is a more ritualistic/spiritual magical thing
…
Meaning, 
when you go to smoke, you usually bring into that ritual, some intention to make the best of things, 
…
and the natural flow of cannabis is towards happiness lol
..:
Point being- It is very hard to smoke yourself more sad $$

I’m sure there’s some shitheads that can do it though $$

But usually, you’re smoking to get more out of something, not to escape.
…
Even if you’re going through some shit, it’s not like you’re trying to run away from that,
It’s that you’re trying to increase the recovery and emotional support. $$

I think by combining several different factors, you can unlock different states of consciousness.
…
And then in those states of consciousness, you can get a lot more out of a lot less.
…
And if you’re real slick, you can kinda keep that pattern and progress overtime $$

Happy 1:23am
I did it,
I made a sammie 
And it’s basic but delicious 
The munchies win again lol $

AnyWho
The scale said 166 mid afternoon,
And I gotta say that that’s pretty solid.
…
Under the right conditions with the right supplements, that would easily be 170.
Give me three days with no bullshit and a little candy money and I might be able to get that to 173.
The good part though is I have got to be getting close to about 7%
After the last 24 hours, I seriously might be really close
I mean, either way I am just thrilled on that front $

This whole notepad/ searching for dopamine thing started with this kind of theme almost a year ago because I was literally biologically decimated
…
I mean, I was literally down in the 130s.
The stress alone from all of the family & relationship shit was enough to institutionalized anyone.
But take away my training and give me faulty medication, and all I had left was philosophy & the steps
…
And my two helpful friends, cannabis and Kratom 😉 $

But man, it was so bad and there was so much ongoing stress and bullshit that I couldn’t even safely do a psychedelic trip.
I mean, I did eventually find the right time & place, and there are some notes about that on those days,
But I had to do the recovery of the old-fashioned way $

And naturally as much as I miss my secret society recovery meetings. I truly am not an addict.
And it is really not appropriate for me to directly attend and give mixed messages
…
I know too many people, and too many people know of me at least in this underground society
But every now and then I can probably sneak into a speaker meeting $

The last time I did that was on my 30th birthday ironically (6/7/2024)
That was the first meeting I had been to a meeting since July 2021 $

Also, I gotta do it… but I totally left the program on top like a G
(Spiritual brag incoming )
…
the last official meeting before Covid was on my eight year anniversary, and I spoke at it
…
And it was a big ass young people meeting
…
Which is a weird kind of achievement if we’re gonna be honest $

AnyWho, I’m probably gonna have to write a 10 step about that little ego trip I just did $
…
Oh look I already technically did 
Golly G I’m actually pretty good at this $

But I didn’t touch any mind or mood substances all throughout Covid
Just say on my sober hands for 15 months basically.
But I was part of the movement when it came to restarting some meetings.
I waited until things were “back to normal” before I faded into the black
…
I had to quietly resign my 9.3 years of being a white trip wonder to go take health advice from some hippie chicks and hang out in strip mall smoke shops lol $

Kind of kidding aside, 
This obviously began a radical journey through many different wildernesses
…
And psychedelics can do three years of therapy and three hours,
…
Combine that with actual application of the 12 steps and you can do 30 years worth of development in three years 
Or something like that, you get it $$

AnyWho
…
Happy 9:43 am
Time to go scare all the activists at planet lol $

I should not be feeling this good for someone who’s only had crackers & PB in the past 24hrs haha $

This isn’t going to help make people less self conscious but idc…
The easiest thing in the world is being able to tell when other men are staring at you $$$***

(For sure the shawtys can relate)

Just met two super cool people
R*** & p*** $

I’m deadass tho
I feel so good energy wise, im gonna have to rethink my entire fueling paradigm for the rest of the year haha $

The true secret to salesmanship is simply saying shit a certain way
…
Which is exactly why I am so suspicious about the Bible boys and what they were really up to back then $$**

If you can think it, and if you can feel it, then you can believe it.
Just as,
If you can believe it, then you can feel it when you think it $$

Most of modern medicine is just marketing to profit off some pretty moderate tendencies $$$*

Everybody has some intuition and ideas that are probably not “healthy“ 
But that definitely does not warrant poisoning from your physician $$$***

Spiritual hypertrophy training is just being isolated around idiots $$*****************

It is 11:53 AM
Currently fishing, hoping to snake some lunch $

But honestly, after this morning, I am just so excited that it’s possible to feel this good without food that I don’t really care $

(Seriously was suspicious and currently developing ways to build on this theory)

I knew last night when the pity party was wanting to pop off that there had to be some reason,
Some genuine gift behind being forced to deliver all the other father’s food, but not getting any dinner myself $$

I’ll admit that in real time, like all the other times, it doesn’t seem real and it’s very easy to be petty and bitchy
…
“I don’t deserve this” $$

But if you can see through that shit, and if you can handle it as smooth as possible,
Even venting a little,
Then afterwards, when you recover, spiritually and emotionally, it is always worth it nine times over $$

So if my gift for the day is not only more self knowledge, but also reinforcing my fasting fueling efficiency,
Then I would say that is worth it by far $

I am leaning more and more,
That if your nervous system is properly recovered, then your fueling type doesn’t really matter as long as you are properly adapted $$

Because apparently, as long as your engine is running good, you can convert fat so fast that you get way more energy than from carbs $$

More evidence of spiritual fuck shit is the fact that I usually get good dashes right when I actually open my laptop to do the real work lol $

Ironically, heavy lifting is usually not that hard
It’s the small stuff that’s always the hardest lift $$

I just think it’s delusional to just assume that by following the flock, you’re gonna be some kind of special sheep 🐑 $$$

The only reason why some people condemn having a family is because they are so miserable that you’re not appreciating their material status, that they have to sabotage the alternative $$$

Most people simply put others down when they cannot accept their own reality 
….
Mostly for the Luciferian dopamine hit they get whenever they bully someone $$$*

The thing is with a hierarchy,
The single largest group is always gonna be at the bottom, no matter what.
So if you listen to those idiots, then don’t ever expect to climb above them $$

It’s pretty funny watching all the profane hacks starting to be forced to admit the benefits of psilocybin $$$

Magic is real, it’s just mostly unconscious $$$

I believe once you adjust to heat, that your body better adjusts its internal temperature $$

If you’ve ever chosen money over freedom then you deserve to feel like a prisoner $$$*

The biggest bitch ass thing you could ever do is to put your problems on other people.
Whether it’s from weakness or obliviousness, is all the same
You’re still a liability and a spiritual shit bag 💼 $$$***

It is 2:37 PM
It’s been an interesting series of dashes.
It is time to go back home and refuel and smoke a lot of weed and eat some beef $

My greatest flex is simply hanging in the pocket long enough for beef and cannabis to become optimal health.
And I mean that quite literally $$*

Picture a prisoner parade,
And all of the pedestrians get to speak their peace to the perpetrators,
And these pricks have been given their own poison to dissolve their egoguards so they actually feel and take in every word in every emotion,
And they just have to sit there and confront the reality of their consequences until the list runs out
…
That is hell
…
But is also heaven for the spiritual justice warriors $$

Our ancestors had a lot of shit to deal with in their life review, I’m sure.
but they never had to sit and rewatch themselves literally be fat gelatinous blobs of family fighting, fortune worshiping fucktards $$$***********

I mean, slavery is really fucked up and hypocritical,
But nothing worse than enslaving yourself willingly and lying about it
…
And then poisoning literally everything and everyone because you’re afraid of everything and everyone $$$$$$$$$$

Show me a lot of profit and I will show you a list of poison $$$

I also am very happy to report for the record that I actually am getting slightly tan.
I mean, it’s actually more than I expected and I’m not as freckly as I’ve been in the past.
It’s almost like it’s starting to pick up speed a little bit
At first, it seemed like I was really struggling
But I keep catching myself in different lighting, and I am distinctly darker $

All kidding aside,
I think even the most hard-core atheist will come to terms with the whole spiritual manifesting mind over muscle shit if they watch a sheet white ginger get tan without getting cancer $$$$$***

I swear to God, 
if we had a comprehensive list of all of the pathogens and poisons that the human body has to beat on a normal day in the suburbs, 
that the reverse placebo will kill half of those people,
while the other half realize that they’re actually psychic Superman $$***

Remember this one super cringe work outing that must’ve been eight years ago now,
I was in sales and the senior manager decided to take all the other managers out on a boating trip
…
I’m sure many of you have been on awkward outings so you can probably relate that Day drinking with your coworkers for the first time is never what you expect $

(Don’t remember where I was going with that)

If Voice to text was as accurate as a voice recorder, then you were probably here a ton of different chewing sounds and bubbles roaring or weights slamming whenever you go to read pretty much anything that I write $$

In other news, I am officially out of paper towels for real for real
And cash for the moment, 
but I think tonight will be a good night.
I’ve just got this itching that there’s gonna be a lot of hangover dads who don’t wanna do anything
Just like last night, but this time probably lower on the food tier
Last night was so funny because all of the pizza places were absolutely fucked, but the McDonald’s was dead $

It is 3:33 PM and I’m happy to report I have eaten some real food again for the first time in 36 hours.
I had a bowl of beef
Probably around 2/3 of a pound total $

Right before then, my guard got triggered due to some family trauma bullshit, and I could literally feel all of my confidence and motivation, vaporize and turn into bitchassness $

Luckily, I caught it and I did not spiral and I could connect the factors
But once again, sometimes you don’t really feel the switch get flipped, you just suddenly turn all bitchy and what not $

But from a fueling perspective, I was feeling fantastic and I probably could’ve kept going.
I’m actually very happy with nice hunger signaling,
I have had no cravings to combat and I think the Carb monster is truly hibernating.
And yet, right when I started eating, I was able to eat the entire thing without any hiccups
Literal and philosophical $

Just remembering how there was a good 30 day span of my lifetime in which the biggest problem I had was that I thought I was getting Gyno lol $

I won’t go on a tangent about it now
But just to confess for the record,
I did plenty of experimentation with sarms from 2019 through 2021 
With a little bit in 2022/3
…
I have taken MK 677 on and off the entire time excluding the last year though
…
So I know I have some old advantages from those PEDS but they are definitely not actively assisting any longer $

Not all sleeves roll up the same that’s for sure $$

It is 5:46 PM and I gotta say that the ancients have done it again,
I ended up landing a dash that also happened to give me a $10 tip $

Maybe I’m not supposed to write about it, but the thought ricochet that immediately hit me after that last note was a reminder of how many times I over tipped
…
I mean, I can count on one hand how many times I never tipped it all, 
and I can promise you that the world would approve of that decision based on the service received
…
But there have been many times in which if I had extra cash, I just said fuck it because I knew probably one day I would need the karma.
…
Same with homeless people on the sidewalk
There are many times in which I just pulled out whatever cash had my wallet.
…
Same thing with that fucking basket the secret Society basements lol $

Ironically, 
if most people were to admit that stress is the true killer, 
they would instantaneously become so stressed out that they have been so wrong and so judgmental for their entire lives that they probably would have a panic attack and kill over on the spot $$**

You can’t call yourself a true philosopher if you don’t get a hard on every time you see the tetractys $$$

Few things funnier than watching somebody get flustered because you didn’t acknowledge their new extravagant purchase
…
And now they have to be all bitter and strategize about how they can make you notice them better next time $$$

“Two can play that game” is always true unless it is a trap 🪤 $$*

*Say something triggering
**Claim it was just a test
***disclose the test is actually the reaction to finding out they are being tested and less about the original reaction $$$

I am not concerned about Skinwalker Ranch because there’s nothing more strange than realizing that you are your mother‘s father just on another loop ➰ $$****

I’m happy to report a pleasant phone call between bozo the clown and my mother a little bit ago $

“Bozo the clown” is just my cover alter ego whenever I have to interact with my parents to avoid Armageddon $$*

I am halfway through a sunset walk as of 7:24 PM
Pretty synchronistic, not gonna lie $

Existence itself is just one giant game of spades
& Each card you play is a lifeltime $$

When everybody’s dead and gone, and we’re doing our life reviews, and we get to the part where we’re realizing who was talking shit behind our backs,
I feel like fair compensation would be just let me roll with everybody Who’s ever talked shit about me behind my back. $$$*

(“Roll” means sparring in Ju jitsu for all you activists)

Time to see how far 20$ will go 
…
It is 8:41 PM and I think I just nailed it
So we got 
a thing of salami 
A big block of cheese
A bag of potato chips
A bag of double stuffed Oreos
Some super strong paper towels
Two cans of cat food
A gallon of water $

The cheese and salami alone should be over 2000 cal 
and was less than eight dollars 
and does not need any preparation
…
That is the other big win about this trip is that everything is out of a box or a bag so it doesn’t need prep lol $

That is its own resistance game,
How many nutrients can you get for how little? $$$

Just ate half of the cheese and salami
And it was so fucking good
I should be about 1000 cal of mostly protein & fat
And a bunch of sodium for bonus points $

Did you know you could live only own cheese? 🧀 $$

I had a couple friends who actually tested this theory
I can’t name them because they were in the secret society, of course $

I must report that I am back at it again
…
I am following up the salami and cheese block with…. Oreos
…
Pray for my stomach $

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

6-23-26

623

Happy 12:47 AM $

Just smashed part two of the Oreos $

Pardon me while I stop my cat from just climbing my screen window 🪟 $

My adorable prisoner I mean $$

*Lighter flick $

I can tell that salami was extra salty because I have been chugging water for the past hour $

It was also extra delicious $

“Good job buddy..
Spider cat” 🐈‍⬛ $

I know I was talking a big game about how fat efficient and metabolically amazing I have been,
And then within 18 hours, I’m destroying some cookies…
But I do think in a balanced world that fats are the best baseline for fuel,
And that your baseline should be able to accommodate a decent amount of activity $$

…
But carbs and muscles are a match made in heaven
And when you got the glycogen in the gas tank, then literally resistance will bounce off of you while the fuel lasts $$

It’s just that if you have that paradigm flipped & become too carb dependent, then the second your fuel dips, you will be metabolically lazy and likely get pretty emotional and irrational $$

So I guess what I’m trying to say is I checked the baseline nutrition boxes before the cookies $$

I still should’ve clocked in at least 130 g of protein if not more
And a pound of actual beef $

Vitamins in 2026 are just bowls of meat really $$$*

I feel like I just jinx myself every time I start talking about a recovery rest day
…
In this case, I mean from work and bullshit
Not creative stuff or training cause that shits every day no matter apparently $

Happy 6:18 AM
Just had to report that the Oreos are officially all gone
Heading back to get another sleep before going to pump city $

Imagine doing a bunch of dumb shit you didn’t wanna do because you were afraid to die only to find out that you’re actually gonna live forever if you can just get your routine right
…
Cough, cough, reincarnation “ledgerdomain” , cough, cough $$$

A True test must be delivered when you least expect it
…
So if you feel like shit unexpectedly, then congratulations you are actively being tested lol $$$*

The good news is all you have to do is just not be a shit bird and you will pass with flying colors $$$

Took me a long time to understand the expression “flying colors“… $

Maturing is recognizing that electrolytes are usually better than actual pre-workout $$$*

Most Will admit that they consciously care about their family more than anything.
But subconsciously, they really just care about their next cheeseburger based on their emotional natures $$*

You can’t call yourself a true philosopher if you bug out every time someone brings up poison $$$

As a true philosopher, one of my favorite expressions is “the dose makes the poison“ $$

Just trying to be an optimistic hurricane 🌀 $$$

Just think of the craziest most vicious vortex a positivity that you can, and you will understand the vibes $$

ALDIs hits different right when they open lol $$

Further reincarnation reinforcement evidence is how OCD I am about pressing the right buttons at the right time..
(That’s life & death for a pilot 🧑‍✈️) $$

It’s rough at first, but the best way to fall in love with something is to be forced to suffer alongside it for years and years and years $$**

You know that panic attack you get whenever your phone falls into the crevice when you’re driving,
I feel like that hits differently for pilots.
because some silly shit like that could be the meaning of life and death
…
Although I know they’re probably not on their phones when they’re flying
But emotionally speaking, you get my point $

Ironically college girls are the dumbest $$$***

I really can’t believe I lived a full on HGTV real estate phase $ 

Working real estate is about the most comfortable job out there once you get referrals.
I mean, I literally made multiple 5 figure checks all thru email and yelling at inspectors lol
…
Meanwhile I was prob at the gym or the trail or in some basement with salty strangers $$

Jokes now on all the service providers who were threatening to cancel my shit due to non payment,
Now that they canceled me, they want me back as a customer cuz I’ve been loyal for a dozen years and nobody else is willing to eat only eggs to pay their bills $$

…
Im just organically failing to dash up enough cash while writing an exercise ebook to try to save the world
…
Sue me $

Tinders best trick was convincing a fuck boy to write ✍️ $$*

It also pains me to write, but I think the verdict is officially official~
Those Oreos are not good fuel
…
I should have way more energy by now if that was actually 1800 cal of rocket fuel
At best, it’s just kind of another meal $$$

There is a chance that the calories from the fat from the icing have not kicked in somehow,
And that I will get more energy throughout the day,
That has happened before, but I am not quite certain $$

(Ehh too close to tell)

Today’s chest hypertrophy workout was pretty good, but not nearly as glorious as it would’ve been if properly fueled $

I have no problem admitting that the Oreo experiment is probably at best, 2/3 of what it is hyped to be ironically $$

The biggest threat to the most talented people is simply motivation
…
So if you just don’t wanna do some shit, then it’s likely that you’re actually really good at it $$$***

One uncomfortable truth is that those with anxiety are most likely extra sensitive to their own bitch ass
…
Which is why they unconsciously suffer every time they get an opportunity to grow, but choose not to $$$

There is a special kind of freedom that is only obtainable after you recover from losing everything you thought you needed and loved
…
And I guarantee you that 99.9% of all people are too afraid to let go in the first place to try to surf in a storm $$$$******

Sorry, not sorry but that means statistically speaking this applies to you, dear reader
…
Unless you’re the point one percent that is delusional enough to think you are special,
And if you are, then you sound like a friend that I have yet to meet $$

You cannot argue with emotions
But you can submit them with the right technique $$$*

If you are truly outgoing, but you find yourself somehow socially isolated, then chances are you’re actually a really good person
…
Because by definition a higher up you go in a hierarchy, the more lonesome it gets even when doing the right thing.
…
Especially when doing the right thing actually $$$

The right thing is almost always the difficult thing,
And it is almost always the simple thing.
…
So if you want to climb the ultimate hierarchy, simply do the next right difficult thing $$

“I just have to make it through…”
Is no way to live everyday ,
But is still better than never knowing that feeling to begin with $$$*

Somebody reading this is about to have the worst day of the rest of their life
…
Lucky them for getting it out the way $$$

It’s pretty easy to tell the days that DoorDash is deliberately trying to do the bare minimum $

If you wanna feel like you’re on vacation, then just hang out in the Burger King parking lot because the flame grill smell teleports you elsewhere llol $$

Exterior Environmental tools are easier to develop than biological indoor adaptations $$*

Few things more annoying than a robot who tries too hard…
Applies to AI & relationships lol $$$***

It is 12:18 PM and I am posted up at the king trying to catch a fish
…
I will admit I’ve been here for a while now and it’s starting to get hotter and I’m starting to get restless.
I am super low on fuel,
But I have a good feeling, and I am optimistic $

The least fun thing to do is probably just to replay all of the times that you made the people you love the most feel like shit
…
Cough, cough life review cough cough $$

Sweat is the first thing that you go nose blind to,
So it’s easy to tell who’s never really worked that hard $$*

(Whoever actually complains about being sweaty)

It often takes genius to recognize other genius,
So if you don’t recognize my genius, then I am sorry, I don’t know how to break it to you… $$$*

The only valuable NFT’s that should exist are the codes for the text messages that you received that changed everything in your life
…
Or maybe a certain post about an achievement that you worked really hard and that impacted those around you $$$

It is 12:53 PM and fishing is still pretty slow and lame.
I am proud of my patience, however, and the fact that I have basically been sitting in the car needing to pee for nearly two hours without bugging out $

If in 2026 you still believe in such thing as organic science fiction, then I really don’t know what to tell you $$$

Science fiction is just sneaky propaganda $$****

The anger I feel towards most of the politicians pails in comparison to the anger that they feel towards the general public
…
I guarantee you half of them are motivated by secret blood feuds, and wars with other families with other ancient resentments $$$

the way they treat us makes me want to treat them the same
…
And that makes me highly suspicious as to why they ended up that way to begin with $

Imagine thinking that Covid did not come from a lab in 2026.
There are very few IQ tests as good as this $$$***

Covid was not an organic pathogen,
It was also not a dangerous bio weapon,
…
It was a spiritual IQ test $$$***

It is very difficult to be full of hate and evil ambition, and still make it to the gym first thing every day and be of service to your neighbors…
Just sayin $$$

You’d be a very poorly functioning drug cartel if you did not have a ton of politicians paid off and captured by their own pedophilia… $$$

You’d also be pretty poor enlisted soldier with the forces of evil if you weren’t trying to get people hooked on pretty much anything you could so that way they just simply die on the way to the gas station $$$*

You know,
If the worst thing you’ve done is mess around with some Tinder strange and get a little heated in traffic sometimes, 
Then that still qualifies you for Saint Hood in 2026 $$$*

Obvious that the bitch boys from the tribes back then were the ones who stole all the shit from the fallen warriors then allowed their fear to ruin a perfect way of life $$$

Imagine being a baby back bitch and being afraid that your going to get roasted at the campfire that night for being such a bitch about hunting $$$

If you ruined the hunt back then, you might just become the prey $$

Example as why a lot of the best technology is hidden is~
You know when somebody has the right of way, but they are trying to be too nice and try to help somebody else out and end up inconveniencing a hell of a lot more people because of their own fear of being a dick
….
That’s why a lot of UFO stuff is hidden $$

You don’t have clinical depression unless you’ve actually had it your whole life without knowing it $$$

You don’t have real ADHD if you don’t realize that it is just a symptom of depression $$$

It is 5:17 PM
Just smashed a bunch of potato chips while delivering some McDonald’s
…
I mean, your boy is as deep as it gets behind enemy lines with all of the poison & the trauma & the Fuckery $

It was the only food I had so we’re gonna see its impact.
Most of the calories should be from fat,
And of course, the chips were oiled up with all kinds of seed shit
…
But I figured if my childhood self could survive on potato chips and pop tarts then maybe my 32-year-old self can make it through the afternoon $

Unfortunately, I think that some of the vaccines they give you rot the reasoning part of your brain
…
That is the only explanation why some of these people would defend all of these unnecessary treatments
…
Cause they’ve already got the brain rot $$$*

Imagine the shame someone is going to feel knowing that they ruined everything because they were just so fearful all the time, 
but yet they spent the entire time telling themselves that they were part of the solution $$

Imagine wasting time putting the blame on anyone else 
…
which is why I’m gonna change the subject Now I’m getting dangerously close myself lol. $$$

It is 6:37 PM
Just took a shot of squirt,
Just dropped the windows because it’s feeling fucking amazing outside,
Just took a teeny tiny bit of a tab,
Gonna take a couple times and get to work $

Every man needs a few years in which he is forced to eat alone $$$*

Friendly reminder-
The best adaptations come from the worst kinds of bullshit $$$

Tis 8:13 pm
Waiting on Another miracle dash,
Got a bunch of work done chilling at McDonald’s $

I’m done thinking I’m close to finishing shit lol
Obv this project will never end 
…
And I’m not complaining $

I am once again captivated by the beauty of another seemingly mundane moment ❤️ $$

Nobody actually hates hierarchies,
They just hate their place on them
…
Or love it a little bit too much $$$

Two amazing sync dashes in a row as of 9:03pm
Time to stretch another 20$ $

Pain is only painful when it is unfamiliar.
Once it becomes familiar than it either ceases to remain painful or it turns into suffering.
…
Suffering is self-inflicted except in very very very rare extenuating circumstances $$*

Nothing is worth more than being able to be a good dude with little effort $$$*

Nothing is worth more than being happiest with nothing $$$*

I know I have my moments and I’m not disregarding the concerning science about all of the poisons and all of that,
But I find myself feeling so good and so satisfied and so grateful with my physique and health most days despite everything that it kind of makes me question how toxic all of this shit really is… $

Knock on wood times 99x,
And trust me, I have plenty of documentation of all of the different poisons and ups and downs and what not,
But I really do think that the fear mongering does almost as much harm.
…
To be fair, I think that the only reason I am as well as I am is because of my activity level and my history
…
So I don’t believe that the casual activist deserves to get poisoned and lied to every twist and turn
…
But I also don’t think it’s good for amateurs to bug out after each new study when they could probably still turn an energetic profit by just training $*

It’s a long winded way of saying that my single greatest belief is that training gives you energy & that is enough to outpace a lot of of the environmental shit
…
If that truly is the case,
And let’s say by properly training, you can continue to promote healing and recovery at a higher rate than the degradation from micro plastics and glyphosate, 
Then that’s still winning $*

But at a certain point, it’s just excusable with what is going on with our environment.
Especially when we could do so much better with substitutes 
…
Most of it just bitchassness holding onto money $$$

I love when I dial back smoking for a few days and then I can get properly baked $$

I think cannabis is best if you have a low tolerance but from fairly regular use because otherwise whenever you try any good shit you’re just gonna get ragdolled by your own paranoia $$*

Most people are not actually crazy when it comes down to the spiritual woo woo shit,
But if you don’t think you’re crazy at first, then you are crazy for real $$$

So by carefully considering your own craziness, you can balance it basically $$

Balance is knowing that you don’t know shit but also that you know a lot more than you give yourself credit for $$*

It is 10:28 PM in time to finish the evening cig $

I wonder if anyone will believe me if I told them that I basically got trolled into writing
…
I mean, I learned how to write an inventory and shit like that back when I was 17,
But I’m talking about last year this time after my biological brain got completely hijacked and everything. 
I thought I thought gut completely fucked and I had to write just to rebuild myself. $

Excuse me while I go to stop the cat from destroying the window $

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

6-25-26

625

*Lighter flick $

Don’t mind me while I catch up on my propaganda $

My favorite is the historical patriotic type.
I will confess that the mainstream narrative is sometimes quite entertaining $

Watching-
“The American experiment“
New Netflix series $

It would seem that there are two primary perspectives
One awesome, one terrible basically $$

Honestly though the good news is you only need to see a list of names to understand what side someone is on $$

this documentary had me excited at first until I saw that Ted Cruz and Hillary Clinton were consulted for their expertise
…
So I’m not even gonna continue past three minutes with those clowns $

You know it’s kind of funny though,
Accidental but intentional,
Wonder how many people have gone to investigate this column and tuned out within the first few paragraphs because I’m using rambling about some dumb shit first 
…
I’m certain so many people do not read long enough to get to the good stuff
…
If there is any good stuff lol $

It is 2:06 AM and I am finishing up the best bowl of berry-oats of all time
…
Right after another bowl of legendary eggs $

We really have come full circle $$

Once you think you’ve seen it all, bitch assness finds another new unique way to Convince you that you disappointed yourself. $$$

…
Noting a lot of internal resistance for the last 24 hours,
Not exactly sure why.
If it passes shortly, then I think it’s mostly biological and from being low on food and fuel,
If it remains after I restore my fuel tank though then it’s probably more existential $

It’s just petty self-consciousness,
It’s almost like I forget the point of all of this sometimes due to my own ego,
Which is literally the point of this, is to catch myself in the act of becoming a hack, 
and therefore be able to roast myself in real time with the nice accountability feature
…
The rest is just for shits and gigs and keeping track throughout the day of shit I need to do $

The hardest part about saving the world though is being all sneaky about it when they just wanna talk shit $$**

I must also report that I am out of cigarettes.
I chose not to force it to buy more
…
Cravings are very mild
Truthfully, sometimes the nicotine makes me feel worse because I still have such a low tolerance
I just really like stepping out and actually smoking $

The cannabis bong grip method is phenomenal, it’s like the old-school musket technique.
You reload after each one hit and you rarely make it past three $$

Is 8:26 AM a.m. waking up getting ready for the gym.
I love aldis, but I do not love their opening hours
…
What Grocery store waits till 9 AM.. $

Part of the reason why I log when I eat is because of how often I forget when my last meal was $

But AnyWho, I’m going to force myself to go on my morning 10 minute sun walk $

You either find a way to deal with temptation or you find a way to deal with the treadmill lol $$$***

It is 10:30 AM
And I have a mixed update,
I must report an amazing back workout, but I also must confess that it was probably a little bit too amazing because I am going to be cooked very shortly. I can tell. $

I’m willing to bet that the best idea ever conceived came when somebody was picking their nose lol $$*

You’re not a true philosopher if you don’t use the word “technique” at least 30 times a day $$$

If aliens are truly super advanced and more evolved than us, 
but they don’t know how to deal with pedophilic cannibalism, 
then they aren’t that much more evolved than us… $$$

If forced to decide,
Opt for prioritizing carbs after training vs before.
…
It’s a little rough at first,
But soon you will become stronger and more metabolically adaptive regarding your intra-training fueling
…
And then by having a distinct carb spike afterwards, you will accelerate your recovery process faster than if you didn’t $$

Your fueling source is going to be the biggest variable into what type of the muscle and what kind of octave you’re working $$

By Developing a strong fat baseline, you will get a lot more out of your carbs long-term, and maintain a lot more metabolic accessibility regarding health $$

All anything really is, is just some unique pattern $$

The worst feeling in the world is simply knowing that you fucked something up $$

…
But the only way to quit fucking something up is to eventually own up to it,
Otherwise, it will just continue to get worse
…
But owning up to something requires an honest acceptance of the consequences $$

Ngl
I’m actually really proud of myself for how far I’ve recovered emotionally recently 
…
The McDonald’s that I once swore off, 
Has become the most profitable, 
then became the most genuinely entertaining $$

It’s absolutely as ratchet as any, 
Probably on the higher side,
But I have gotten so comfortable with the crazy 
and I have become friends with the managers so that is providing more energy than anything else $$

Probably sounds toxic,
But I swear to God, I would take over the world if I had normal levels of dopamine such that did not require such ridiculousness to balance out creatively speaking $$

It is 12:43 PM and I think I just figured out another super technique,
I have some old insulated shaker cups that are no longer good to drink out of,
But make the perfect egg containers lol
…
I think this is a perfect solution to keeping my eggs cold without having power for the refrigerator lol $

I have started an experiment,
We have six eggs in a blender bottle and the other six in the carton,
Both are still in an insulated lunchbox,
We shall see how long they stay cool 🆒 $

You’re not a true philosopher if you can’t finish an entire bag of potato chips within three sittings $$

Did you know there’s no such thing as a happy atheist?
…
Just delusional and overly emotional $$$***

It is 9:23 PM
I am happy to report a couple lucky dashes that have been able to get some dinner and a pack of smokes, which is always exciting $

I have secured another big flock of cheese for dinner
…
I’m probably gonna end up wasting six eggs sadly, but it be like that sometimes $

There’s something about eating cheese in the candlelight that feels nostalgically ancient… $$

I was about to whoop my own ass for a minute there,
I thought I’d only eaten six eggs and a block of cheese in the past 36 hours,
Silly me, 
I forgot to account for the dozen extra larges that I had last night
…
All in all, I think I am at 
18 eggs, 1400 / 168
one block of cheese , 900/50
two bowls of oats 1200/40
some chips 600/5 in the last 24 hours
…
So bout 3100 & 250ish
…
Bro, beat that shit 💩 $

Pretty sure all in all that cost me less than $10 with the cheese being the priciest $$



————
Power
Strength
Form
Function

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

6-26-26

626

Probably the single best part about keeping this notepad is that I can skip any boring, small talk bs catch up $$

“Omg it’s been so long. How have you been?”
…
“lol well if you really wanna know …” $

Maybe I’m biased, but I can’t help but envision a world in which everybody keeps an open diary 📔 $

And I don’t mean the crap that social media was pretending to be,
I mean, old school shit, but with a new school twist $

Because either you get to know what someone’s really about or you find out quick that they’re hiding some shit $$

We can even get AI to assist,
It can even do some of the writing for people as long as it’s organic and true and in their specific voice $

It provides all the benefits that some kind of crazy government social credit system would,
It just requires a little bit more elbow and thumb grease if you will $

Instead of some boring Instagram feed of Photoshopped pictures, you could just be an intellectual and share your notepad and truly bring people into your mind $$

…
And keep out all the neurotic egotists $$$

AnyWho
I think that that cheese has somehow increased my blood pressure,
I’m finding it hard to sleep in a very strange way.
…
I can’t tell if this is a good or a bad thing honestly $

*Lighter flick $$

Just thinking about how the hard stuff is always the stuff that you can’t take back
…
It’s the stuff that requires energy investment, sometimes with no immediate return
But is inevitably going to pay off in the long-term $$

Any form of training is anything that requires you to show up and go through the motions again and again just to do just a little bit more next time $$

All of those hours in the dark when nobody seemed to care or understand or care about understanding,
All of those invisible wins and silent celebrations,
And all of those secret “all hope is lost“ moments,
 is when magic happens most $$

It seems that there’s so much pressure to maximize every moment with friends and family and to share everything and to always be playing some kind of social game
That it indirectly instills the fear of being alone and struggling in silence $$$*

I would argue that the fear of the struggle is three times as hard as the struggle itself
…
And 9 times as wasteful as an energy expenditure wise $$

This pressure breeds a form of dependence,
A form of weakness that very quickly turns to bitchassness when somebody can’t get their way or when some plans go to shit $$

The affirmation from bullshit opinions becomes too addicting,
And soon the idea of struggling for fun just sounds like suffering $$*

And I say once you’ve reached that point, and you developed that kind of paradigm, that anything downstream of that is delusion $$

Those who Sacrifice everything to do what is right deserve to win it all $$$

I say it’s better to live like you’re going to live forever than like you’re only live once… $$$***

I say treat everything as if you’re gonna see it again $$$

If you do some fucked up shit,
But then you turn everything around for way longer and become an asset instead of a liability,
Then all that fucked up shit just turns into comedy $$

It is 5:05 AM and I am finishing a bowl of oats so sugary that it would make any diabetic proud $

You’re only a prisoner if can’t manage doing things you don’t enjoy $$$***

I’m just gonna say it,
If you call the exterminator, you’re a bitch
…
That’s just the bug police with all kinds of poisons
I just feel like many cases could be handled in house, if you know what I’m saying
…
Literally lol $$$

(Unless you got a serious infestation I suppose…)

I think it’s as simple as this-
Our grandparents were likely bad asses and hard-working people
…
Their children likely terrified from all of the tales they were told growing up about snow walks and uphill travel,
…
Then proceeded to do everything they could to reasonably fuck everything up and avoid struggle and conflict
…
They became masters of deniability and delusion by placing the blame on the pre/post generation $$*

Being properly fueled and being properly recovered are too completely different things
But if you can synergize them, then you’re gonna have a lot of fun $$$

If life is one big game, then the best way to enjoy It is simply to develop the skill set to be the best team player on your team. $$$

Organisms that cannot handle stress simply die out sooner than those that can adapt to it $$

What most don’t realize is that you can use one adaptation to synchronize and synergize with another one,
 improving its effectiveness and reducing its energy expenditure output $$

*advertisement for fancy toilet playing in background
…
I will never understand the need to build a fancy machine that better wipes your ass
…
I think that might be one of the worst inventions ever
…
Philosophically speaking, just a look at what social media has done to self expression and you will see this similarities between a super fancy toilet that cleans your taint for you $$

Cannabis = care more
Alcohol = care less
Enough said $$$

Greetings from the McDonald’s @ 11:10am $

I have to laugh at the irony ,
I get natural focus dopamine when I go to work in insane ratchet environments 
…
I mean, I quite literally trained for this my whole life apparently $$

The more quiet and relaxed, the worse.
…
So when I write a bunch of books that troll the forces of evil from deep in their own trenches, I’ll laugh a lil extra $$

I also have to laugh at how much step work has been done at crazy coffee shops
…
I know personally I had many moments on the porch of a Starbucks & in the back of a Dunkin lol $$

No exaggeration, 
I’ve probably spent 10,000hrs just loitering 
…
Mostly at caribou coffee lol $$

McDonald’s is just a secret CIA emotional development operation 
…
Officially willing to debate anyone $$$***

Eggs. 
Cat food
Sponges $$
 
Breaking down is not the same as breaking $$$

It is 11:55 PM and I must report an amazing morning of Dashes so far
.::
Not gonna lie it’s still nowhere near as busy as what it was when I first started, when I could barely emotionally get off the floor lol
…
I am proud to say!though that I am effortlessly flowing between one delivery to the next, 
even with a pick up for myself and pitstop along the way $

It’s not that I’ve written that much while actively eating eggs,
It’s just that the best shit has usually come when I was $$

…
So happy 12:14 PM as I sit down and eat the first bowl of eggs for the day $

What if the CIA knew that the only way that you could get sick is if you believe in illness,
…
But what if they also knew the only way to quit believing in sickness is to find a way to stop the self-inflicted suffering from poor decision-making
…
And what if they knew that the only way to stop poor decision-making was by accelerating the consequences? $$

Life is just a game turning three into five
But only with the help of Mrs.Four $$

Rainy days with Tea and eggs just hit different for the recently reincarnated whites that is $$

Only a few people can actually use drugs successfully 
…
Most just get used by the drugs or used who makes them $$

You are not a true philosopher if you do not appreciate your poison 
…
You are also not a balanced philosopher if you are consumed by your poison $$

What if the CIA knew that the most divine thing that you could ever do is become skilled in the art of poison control? $$

Might be the one gift that could never possibly expire or backfire.. $

Happy 12:36 PM by the way
…
*Lighter flick 
…
My tea is cooling while my pen is heating up $

Cigarette smoking is nowhere near as bad as cigarette littering $$$**************

I don’t think even Jesus was this broke 😂 $

The greatest skill you could ever ask for would be the ability to learn from other people‘s mistakes without having to touch the philosophical hot stove $$$*

Arriving back home after a 20 minute dash with more gas, more cash, a better battery, and more enthusiasm
So modern day alchemy $

I must confess that I am running into another unexpected dilemma
…
Long story short I don’t think I can go to the same Food Lion more than twice a day every day without it crossing some kind of line lol
…
I’ve been going in the morning for lunch and then in the evening for dinner because as noted, I have no refrigeration lol
…
And if I’m gonna be going back-and-forth anyway using that technique for other people places and things, 
then I might as well skip the stress over some kind of cooler
…
But I already went today and I’m probably gonna have to go back later for dinner $

I think I’m dead ass gonna have to go to another grocery store $

I’m sure I’m already the weird guy that comes in daily looking like a bum or cage fighter, just buying an eggs and cat food $$

If laughter is medicine, then it is very important to treat everything like a joke $$$***

Treating things like a joke is very different than treating them like a waste though $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$*******

How much weight someone can lift is nowhere near as impressive as how much food they can eat consistently without getting sick physically or philosophically $$****

Loggin another bowl of eggs at 4:56 PM cause I forgot when I had the last big ass bowl oats lol $

Part of all of the shit that the government doesn’t want to release is just confirmation that atheists have small dicks $$*******

(… 😂…)

If whispering some petty shit when someone walks away is one of the most bitchass things you can do, 
then I argue whispering something really nice and sweet is how you earn extra energy points $$$*

I will confess for the record my secret evil game that I play with everybody~
…
Whenever I deliver a pizza, I always say “hope you enjoy”
…
In which case most people usually respond with “U2”
…
Which just straight silly $$

(Cuz they expected me to say “have a good day”)

Everybody poisons themselves,
Only true philosophers do it intentionally tho $$$***

If double blind studies are the most effective and revealing,
Then The most important and meaningful studies are always carried out on the unsuspecting public $$**

And if you don’t believe that, then you must not have spent much time going through all of the declassified documents
…
Because even the casual activist can see the CIA is up to some fuck shit $$$

“You do not deserve to be informed if you are not willing to sit through at least three minutes of advertisement propaganda, 
even from your most trusted sources”
…
Which is apparently a silent unwritten rule these days… $$

I honestly don’t have the words to describe the types of humans that I have witnessed in the past 90 minutes
…
I mean, when I say that I am truly terrified for the state of some people, I don’t know how else to put it
…
Some of these people don’t really fit the criteria for humans any longer
…
I don’t know where we draw the line, but it’s so insane $

Also to continue my tangent, I cannot count how many times someone cut me off or almost ran into me in the grocery store
…
 and I just went to buy three items lol $

And now I have somebody who has their brights on, tailing me on the way home… lol $

It really does break my heart every time the ratchets come out
…
These people are so sick and so oblivious they truly just do not care about anything other than their next pleasure $$ 

And clearly this has been a problem throughout all of known history,
Which is why there are such a thing as secret societies,
 and honestly seeing that shit,
 I say deservedly so $$

I did get a bag of frozen berries, a gallon of water, and a pepperoni stick though so that is very exciting
…
we’ll just have to shake off whatever bitchassness might’ve gotten on me $

I really am not exaggerating when I say that these people *almost* make me lose hope
…
I’m sure that they have been around for all of eternity,
I just don’t think they were as fat before as they are now… $$

I think the Christians got it wrong…
I don’t think heaven is the spiritual plateau that they claim it is
…
I think they undersold the goods
…
I think the love that they’re talking about is greater than even they can communicate $$

…
Mostly because they got a lot of literature about doing dumb shit, and being hypocritical lol $$$

Only satanists use the bible to justify war $$$***


———-

Intro 
- 52 cards
- 360 techniques 
- 4 elements
- 6 degrees 
- Best 1 of 3 sets

By accepting the challenge, you accept all risks & rewards
Good luck & have fun 





Elements 
Octaves
Equipment 

Power wheel
EP hierarchy
Performance Degrees




Base
Build
Burn
Fun

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

6-27-26

627

Good morning, world $

It is 3:48 AM $

*Lighter flick $

I really don’t understand why so many white people moved to the desert 🏜️ $$

Currently watching “better call Saul” $

And I’m must confess that I’ve never really been out west besides a couple family vacations
But Seems beautiful out there $

And I also must confess that this might be one of the first weeks of my life in which I took a rest day in between training days
Such a simple split and yet I haven’t… $

Lol, I’m stoned & trailing off. 
I might finish that, I might not. $

(🤷🏻‍♂️ )

Really just killing time between oatmeal bowls $$

…
It is 4:36 AM
It is also now about four minutes after an amazing big ass bowl lol $$

It is also time for a cigarette and to contemplate the meaning of my own existence further $$

Many thoughts,
First, 
it is warm as fuck already and there is supposed to be a “dangerous heat wave” coming this week
Record-breaking temperatures, of course
…
I’m not kidding when I say I have an entire years worth of evidence of convenient Weather based trolling
…
I think even the toughest skeptic would confess that the timing has been very suspicious $

(Currently in the middle of the wave and it ain’t so bad 🌊 )

Throwback shout out to my furnace for being a hoe all winter long
…
That’s a whole Nother story at this point as to how my gas is still working lol $

I mean the literal gas,
The philosophical gas stays flowing better than ever 
If You know what I’m saying 😏 

You’re not a true philosopher if you don’t have at least a brief phase of your life in which you seem to be unable to escape absurd amounts of piss $$$***

Talking actual Urine $$

…
Is everywhere these days,
Can’t escape it,
Can barely keep up with it $$

It’s sticky and shiny in the wrong lighting
…
Animal piss, human piss, it’s all the same at this point $$

It’s about 71° and very humid
I will confess that I am pretty nervous.
It’s already kind of hard to sleep
I am adjusting tho and has only been about 10 days so I figured there’s at least another week or two before I really get it down
But man,
If it’s 110° in the middle of the day and barely below 90 at night…
…
That’s a fair challenge I will admit $

I am mostly worried about the cat so I might come up with something to stash him in the AC somewhere $

(Mfer is chillin harder than I am lol) 

Truly amazing things happen when salt and sugar work together
…
And not just to bio hack you $$$

I just think we can find a balance between spiritual socialism and conservative capitalism $$$

Those with ADHD are just reincarnated super soldiers who are bored off their fucking asses for the most part
…
& the general public should be lucky they’re so distracted because of these people were properly trained, It would be over for the lazy bitches out there. $$**

Which leads me to my point as to why the public has been poisoned for so long
…
All the bitch ass hairy pussies that stayed back when it came time to go to war, inevitably outlived some of the super badass honorable dudes who died and decided to fuck everything up for the rest of us while they were respawning $$

I think the world would be a better place if the general public would sneak in to a recovery meeting every now and again
…
But let me emphasize, going to an “open meeting” and keeping the mouth shut $$$

As often as I record attacks from bitchassness,
They are nowhere near frequent as the “overwhelming fits of gratitude” 🙏 $$**

Just reminding myself that a year ago, I was genuinely on deaths door
…
And now I’m arguably the best physique I’ve ever had $

Just about The only thing feminist actually got right, is that bitchass men are our biggest threat $$$

(Good thing to get correct tho)

Junkies are the true ultimate ultra endurance athletes $$********

I remember one time when I was 15 & I hiked a half marathon across town just to hang out with some friends
…
And I don’t even remember it because I was so high on Xanax lol $

Throwback to 17 years ago and I think I was averaging at least 9 miles a day on foot just going back-and-forth between stores and trap houses lol $

I’m pretty sure that if we were being fair, that I completed my first 5K probably with a gun in my hand as a kid $

(Hahahhaha sounds bad but we were hunting & playing airsoft)

If nothing burns like resentment, then who can handle it are genuine fire benders $$*

There’s only one way to learn the art of forgiveness,
And that is to get fucked over 1 million times and still be cool with it $$$***

You can move mountains if you’re triggered enough, I know that much $$$

You have permission to make fun of atheists to their face or behind their back
Mostly cuz They don’t seem to have much fun any other way $$$***

Nobody likes to take their medicine,
Which is why doctors are not special because most understand the maturity of responsibility regarding trying to get someone to do what’s the best for them without being self centered $$$

I’m mad at doctors because they’re the only ones egoic enough to threaten somebody with death or worse if they don’t pay them for their poison $$$

You cannot call yourself a true philosopher if you are resentful or bitter for any reason whatsoever $$$

(Other than for the lolz ofc)

Because that means you clearly haven’t discovered the reason for your suffering yet $$

Once you determine the truth behind your suffering, it immediately ceases
Doesn’t mean the pain disappears, it just suddenly takes meaning and then begins to return energy instead of draining it $$$*

If it starts with a P then it’s probably good for you after It’s initially pretty bad for you. $$$***

It is 3:02 PM and time to go investigate a laundromat for the first time in my adult life lol $

Went well lol
…
Das it
Happy 3:17pm $

If there are a bitch ass terrorists setting off literal bombs for no reason,
Then I say every time you go anywhere, you leave a place that you also leave a philosophical love bomb
…
Therefore, anybody that goes into the PetSmarts of independence blvd (satans arterial artery) will be bless for the next three days
…
Happy 3:21pm $

I’d be willing to bet that the most pedestrian car accidents occur in front of some kind of major Chinese buffet
…
The fact that the lifetime fitness that I trained at for years was next-door to a Chinese buffet has prepared me for life in all kinds of unique ways
…
One is avoiding the temptation,
…
Another is engaging in the temptation properly after a good workout,
…
Another is becoming skilled at avoiding pedestrians as they cross the street, 
even when you are hangry and unable to move your legs smoothly $$$

There are two types of people in this world~
Those who are cool with things being different,
And those who are going to stop at nothing to change your mind $$

I talk a lot of shit, but it does warm my heart every time I see a nervous Nancy out for a new walk $$$*

It is 4:33 PM and time to go post up at McDonald’s and do some work $

When it’s all done, you will see all the blood sweat and tears and hear all of the craziness from the ratchets in the background of me doing my work somehow, I’m sure $

You don’t need to be that tough these days,
Just tougher than a strong teenager
…
Which isn’t much 
…
Which just makes it more sad that most are nowhere close $$$*

Imagine being intimidated by a fuckin sophomore 
… 
That’s hell $$$********

Most people are not the problem
…
They are the production of what happens when you lie about real solutions $$

I swear to God whenever you have to go to the bathroom, is whenever the best idiots in the world are gonna do what they can to inconvenience you $

I think my shift at McDonald’s went well.
judging by the storm that just rolled in lol $

If you do not fear the consequences of your own decision-making, then there is never a moment in all of existence that you should spend afraid $$$*

I really like stars because my awareness operates like the five pointed star $

(Draw one and you’ll get my point)

It’s become a trend to think ADHD is cute because of the creativity and the talent & the hyper focus that comes with it
But Most people are just pretending.
…
You don’t have true ADHD unless someone has tried to institutionalize you $$

(Probably for annoying them so much) 

And even then you’re still probably on the fence cause it might just be a good old depression or some other dumb shit $$

I forgot to log my post workout grocery run to Aldi‘s-
I got two boxes of electrolytes,
Dozen eggs,
And a pack of 10 frozen sausage,
…
Less than six dollars overall
And about 1500 cal
Basically, all fat but also over 100 g of protein $

I really think one thing I’m most proud of about my current physique is that I have rebuilt it without any protein shakes
Or sketchy supplements, of course $

MK 677 does not count as a sketchy supplement and should probably be used by almost everybody next to all the time $

I’m sure there are some consequences & trade-offs but MK 677 is like the cannabis of the supplemental
Help your body naturally produce more growth hormone, which has too many downstream benefits even list right now
…
But they all amplify recovery without suppressing or fucking up your endocrine system $

I haven’t bought it in a while so I can’t really give a good referral on where to get it
…
usually either had to grab it at some sketchy supplement shop or some online reputable place that you found on Reddit or something $

If you told me that there was a 10 lifetime program that basically turned you into a non-egocentric power Hungary demigod, then I would sign up immediately
…
So I’m just really hoping that a long ass time ago I was thinking the same thing and saw the opportunity lol $$

It is 7:02 PM and I’m happy to report another strange synchronicity
…
Just delivered some pizza next to my old drug dealers place $

Doing things for other people is just another technique for doing things for yourself $$**

It is 7:57 PM and I must report an emotional motivational crash
…
My last dash at the pizza place was a little iffy, and I nearly bailed out
I don’t care if the food is late, but I do care if nobody bothers to say anything
…
Classic old man, shit lol
But I was about to reassign the order, which is the same as a tap, unless circumstances dictate $

But I must confess that right after I finished that I was pretty tired and I declined a couple pretty good ones
…
Ones that I would normally be excited for $

It’s a tough situation,
One that I found myself in a lot over the winter when business was actually busier, but I was still so biologically fucked back then that I could barely summon the energy $

I have also been going nonstop for seven days with this style of dashing,
Mostly because last week was down to the wire and my phone was about to get cut off lol $

But this time I now know that I am recovered physically, but I still need to be careful emotionally and call it when I need to call it
…
But Whenever I do that, the only problem I have is when I gaslight myself afterwards.
There have never really been major consequences, so I have definitive confidence that I am not doing the wrong thing when I feel like this $

But I still have to do one final dash for myself and Alex and I gotta say that it is hard every time $

They gonna rename lawyers Road to a “crybaby Avenue” by the time I’m done with all the times I tear up lol $$

(Tears of joy that is)

God thinks he’s slick
Hitting me with the golden hour Sunset feels trip.
And I gotta say he’s right again $

I love the fact that I am down to my last $4.20 once again
No sarcasm intended, lol $

If you saw all the crazy totals that I have in the past year, the average person would probably have a panic attack $$

Being worried that you’re always being filmed or recorded is probably the silliest fear of all time
…
But let me be clear, just being afraid of that by itself is silly.
…
Being afraid that some fucked up hijacked government is using the information against you is a legitimate concern because it is also happening $$

I’m talking about people who want to pretend privacy is real via secret
…
Privacy is real via respect only $$$

…
Any well-informed to do motherfucker can take one look at another and tell when somebody’s up to something $$

…
And it doesn’t take that great of a degree of a detective to determine when fuck shit is involved $

mature private people want zero to do with other people’s privacy
…
They will literally look away willingly
So you don’t need to force them $$

It’s only the idiots and the insecure that you have to worry about $$$

Because if you’re hiding some shit, you deserve to get caught anyway $$$

You don’t deserve to have it hidden just because no one’s supposed to know
…
You’re not supposed to try to hide fucked up shit
…
You’re supposed to do it out in the open and learn from it like the rest of us $$$*

I’m not saying I want to be, but I think my parents would be more relieved if I told them I wanted to be an actor than a writer
..
Mostly because they know I’m so good at playing along with bullshit $$

(Definitely do not want to be an actual actor 
But I am enjoying playing the role of Bozo the Clown at times )