$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

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SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

7-2-26

72

I wonder if anyone’s ever gotten drunk off cheese before $

Or intoxicated cause that’s pretty much where I’m at $

Lol happy 12 AM $

Ironically, I think the cheese is interfering with my ability to fall asleep
I might be mistaken, I don’t even know $

Just heard the cops go whoop whoop $

Do you ever think about how feminist are just mad that they can’t pee standing up?
…
Reasonably without a she—wee that is $$

Seriously though,
The she-wee is very clutch and all you women reading this should investigate it
…
It is very helpful on the trail
But then again, I am gonna stay in my lane on this one and leave it at that $

It is 12:13 AM and I am currently enjoying a cigarette & once again deeply contemplating my own existence $

I just wanna go to sleep lol
But I’m not that sleepy
…
Pretty much every night up until recent, I would probably roast myself for fucking up some part of my circadian rhythm leading to this madness of restlessness
…
But at this point, I’m just fully embracing all the spiritual woo woo shit because every time I come out here to have some smokes, shit starts making some sense
…
And then suddenly that restlessness is gone 
Go figure 
…
..
.
But for the past four years, it felt a lot more like trolling than like anything else.
I seriously don’t remember the last night of unobstructed sleep
…
Mostly referring to some kind of crazy stress bullshit upcoming on the horizon, not that something comes and wakes me up per se.
…
Although I do be getting up halfway through to blaze hehe
…
I’m not complaining about that part though.
That’s just to process the magnitude of every day everything $$

…
I adapted a long time ago to being able to function on five hours of sleep physically $$

I really don’t think I’ve ever been this borderline tipsy off cheese before.
I don’t feel intoxicated per se, I just am literally like a walking slug filled with grog. $

Maybe Dave Smith yelling at a bunch of socialists will help
…
No disrespect to his podcast, but for some reason that shit puts me to sleep $

I must be psychic,
I predicted the greatest bowl of blueberry oatmeal and I just had it
…
Must’ve been 4:20 AM too so extra synchronistic $$

Moments like this are truly magical.
I could not be more grateful even if I tried
…
Mostly because the gratitude is from just “being able to be” and not having to try $$

It is 8:32 AM
Been up for a little over an hour.
I already delivered some biscuits,
Killing a little bit more time before grabbing some electrolytes and heading to pump city
…
I will confess that I am desperately running out of clean clothes and I need to hope for a strong day to get some laundry money on top of everything else lol $

The only thing worse than being born a helpless gelatinous blob of shit,
Is realizing that you actually weren’t and that you got that way through your own decisions $$$***

 and that once upon a time, you actually were a great warrior and leader… $$

Caffeine still bout the best acute antidepressant of all time $$$

Between cannabis, kratom, and caffeine, I cannot reasonably fathom what else one could need
(In the daily herb category) $$

Hardest thing about Aldis is dodging all the single moms $$*

(If ya know what I’m sayin lol)

30 split squats will make any day better $$$***

(Or atleast more memorable)

If I could just be more present and less concerned about the results of really just about anything, then I think I can continue to improve my happiness level $$

I bet some evil fuck stick somewhere was real excited when he realized he could poison everybody.
…
But they failed to realize how funny poisoning oneself really is,
And they also failed to calculate the fact that laughter and humor is the best medicine
…
Therefore, philosophically speaking, 
we have created the perfect opportunity for eternal life $$$*

Poison only works by disrupting the communication signals within one’s body,
So as long as someone’s body doesn’t listen to the bullshit, they are immune $$$***

“Doing your best” just means choosing the least selfish option at any given point in time $$*

The only thing that actually matters to the Devine is one’s ability to eat humble pie with a smile $$$*

Just blessed the fuck out the McDonald’s on lawyers Road
…
That is my response to what I think Jesus would do if given the chance $$$

You can tell who someone really is inside based on what result would bring them happiness $$

Most of these employers want nothing more than for you to go kick rocks for wasting their time by having the audacity to even think about applying
…
Until they need somebody, then they’re gonna reach out all desperate and happy and beg you to come be a slave $$$*

Limbs are just Bendy sticks $$**

Laughing at the fact the library has some of the best shady parking spots $$

The hotter it gets, the more valuable shade becomes $$

I’m an ex real estate agent with ADHD,
I was born to be the fastest Dasher of all time $$

Short shorts and leather seats are tough mix $$$***

As of 12:18 PM, it would seem as if the heat is working strongly in my favor
…
I am getting a lot more super close, super quick dashes because of all of the rich people who are too afraid to go outside lol $

The most torturous thing in all of existence is whatever has the longest training protocol $$*****

I hope I never forget the depressed days in which I was singing George Michael in the shower before going to show a houses $$*

I don’t think pointless suffering exists,
I think it only occurs for teaching or training purposes $$$

I am convinced that there are levels to sweating,
And they are highly intentional and calculated by your body’s background biological processes
…
Currently it is 95°
I should not be feeling this cool even though I’m chilling inside
(If ya know what I’m sayin 😎)
…
It is probably about 80° inside
But I swear to God, I wouldn’t be able to even tell the difference between that & reg room temperature
I mean unconsciously
Like I am comfortable, and I am at homeostasis.
If I move too quick, then I feel the stuffiness, but I can also feel a very light evaporation $

And I’m pretty scared to eat anytime soon because that will force my digestion to cut on which will raise my heat $

Every man needs probably about four years in which he is pushed to the absolute limits
…
And he also needs about a year in which he can get as stinky and smelly and sweaty as possible
…
It also synchronizes well with the “solitude chapter” $$

Also, super weird,
But I swear to God, I just slept for five minutes.
Usually, I will nap for like an hour or so before bouncing back
…
But I have a theory that if you could essentially do a three minute power nap,
That would essentially restart the conscious brain,
And that should serve as a powerful signal to ensure that it is operating properly, emotionally speaking $$

Tis 3:37pm and currently watching Bozo the Clown work his magic with the madre to avoid wwIII $

Moms currently telling me how the doc wanted to replace her hip on the first visit
…
Mixed feelings to say the least $

Something very hard for me to learn was that sometimes you can’t just snap your fingers and fix everything
…
You just have to struggle through the shit sometimes $$

Anything truly profound usually makes someone bug the fuck out $$*

But those who take the truth too seriously are also the same ones to die on Mt. Retard $$$

Becoming an artist really just means cringing yourself out for at least three years $$$***********

Kinda interesting to see articles about a missing World War II pilot on a secret mission finally being accounted for lol… $

“World War II pilot missing after secret Mission, finally accounted for after 80 years” $

(I Can’t make this shit up
…
But some cia fuck wad prob could)

Also, I even forgot to note yesterday that it was the one year anniversary of when I found all of my grandfather’s old notes and letters which pretty much sent me down a psychic spiral with this whole reincarnation shit $$

(Hard to explain but I basically remembered writing letters)

So either that is a pretty crazy coincidence
…
Or B, 
my phone is coming up with fake news to try to gain my engagement $$

(& it’s doing a better job ngl)

If the physical weather can change quickly without your say so,
then so can the philosophical spiritual weather $$

Driving and drugs and dumbass doctors kill more than anything.
…
Including all of the wars everywhere combined
…
Therefore, the suburbs is not only the most dangerous habitat on the planet,
It’s also the sneakiest $$$***
 
Also saw some articles earlier about how the 7-OH is gonna become a controlled substance
…
Which honestly, I agree with
…
So I’m probably gonna go back to the sludge soon $

All you need in life is just a little bit of fuel to do some shit to signal growth $$$***

The fact that some things make you wanna die when they’re really not all that bad is just spiritual reinforcement that there’s actually something trapped in that meat suit of yours $$*

Otherwise, why would the meat suit want to self-destruct? $$

I’ve got such a big ego in this life that I even get triggered whenever I think about competing with my grandfather $

If evil and corrupt politicians are the ones holding back all of this alien shit,
That means they are more afraid of earth prison than they are of extraterrestrial predators $$$****

(That warrants deep contemplation)

If you’re suspicious that you would not have been diagnosed with ADHD in an earlier generation, then you do not have ADHD
…
The real ADHD is impossible to mistake
…
It is not the cute inability to sit still when bored,
It’s the inability function emotionally even with things you enjoy, no matter what you do $


Beef 6
Berries 3
Cinnamon 2
————
Crackers 2
Ham 4
Cheese 4
=21 $$

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

7-3-26

73

*Kid Rock’s “All summer long” playing the background $

Happy 7:52 AM $$$

Reporting late cause I’m already at the park for a session with an old friend $

What a beautiful day $$

It’s really annoying when AI tries too hard to get everything right and usually makes it more inconvenient
…
So remember that throughout your day and try not to be like an AI robot 🤖 $$$*

Hatin ass bitches be everywhere these days $$

You cannot qualify for your adeptship if you still wear gymshark anything $$$**********

If someone doesn’t try to hit you with a dumbbell, did you even train at planet? $$***

Those addicted to attention are usually the most desperate $$$***

Politics is just a test to see who’s dumb enough to put a bumper sticker on their car $$

If you treat the slightest inconveniences like they are life and death when in a moving vehicle, 
then you are either being an asshole, or a reincarnated fighter pilot 🧑‍✈️ $$*

It is 1:15 PM
I’m happy to report an amazing interaction with the Mom
Bozo the Clown had to take the lead, but it was pleasant and I left with a half a rack of ribs, a bag of potato chips, and two slices of pizza
…
And that’s enough payment for just about any trauma if you ask me $

I am also happy to report that it is 95° and I actually somehow feel cool $

(Physically & philosophically)

I mean, I ain’t even bullshitting $$

You can only truly create when your guard is down,
Which is the only reason why you got a lot of bitch ass triggering going on
…
Because hating ass bitches with their guards up are trying to interfere with yours $$

If you eat a too high fat meal, you will feel full.
If you eat too high of a carb meal, you’ll feel sleepy $$

You know, I really didn’t think about it until recent,
But there is a lot of antidotal stories about electricity and all types of electromagnetic interference in the average home
…
Everything from Wi-Fi router to the microwave has it out for you apparently 
…
And my power has been off for two and a half weeks and I gotta say that I do feel a lot more balanced and calm and relaxed at home $

Drugs feel amazing
…
So does doing the next right thing
…
But not as much as doing the next right thing on drugs, lol $$*

It is 3:47 PM
I am on the way to do laundry for the first time at a public laundromat
…
Wish me luck 🍀 $

Happy 4:20 pm lol
Going well so far 
Got washer #33,31,28 working hard
Fingers crossed 🤞🏻 $

Happy 4:32 PM
Just finished up headed back to go set everything out to dry lol $

It is now 4:58 PM and it seems like everything is hung up to dry around the house $

…
Did you know that exercise equipment makes phenomenal drying racks for clothes?
Pretty much anything that can hold a weight can hold your shirt lol $$

I am pretty excited to say that I am back with a full battery and clean closet $$$

I don’t really think I’ve actually been stinking much either cause I’ve had so many clothes that I haven’t really had to keep wearing sweaty ones other than for work
…
And if you’re close enough to smell me while I’m working, and then then we got another problem lol $

When all of my friends were graduating high school I was graduating rehab
…
Actually, I’m just kidding
…
Most of my friends dropped out lol $*

I think the human body was just designed to kind of seem animalistic, just to not completely freak out The Primitives who actually believe it
…
In reality, the body is just a Devine vehicle that is used to build and help improve this realm $$

I’m pretty sure seven years ago I had to spend the Fourth of July at some seedy pool in South end with a shallow ex-girlfriend
…
& We spent the whole afternoon in the shallow end if you know what I’m saying

(I got it confused
That was my ex’s birthday
…
The 4th of 2019 was spent at a rich friends house with some of the nicest and dankest food
…
I remember really wanting to sell their 2m house lol
…
Arguably peak f’boy phase)

This year I’m going into the woods lol $

Being a clown is only bad if you don’t even realize you are one $$$***

Ironically, hiding from illness is the fastest way to get sick $$$***

I’d argue that if you can pick up and put down physical objects, then that must mean somehow, someway you can do it with memories $$

I can’t help but feel like the fastest delivery man should get a bonus
…
I mean, what else is worth rewarding these days? $$

Plants literally eat light but yet some people think that invisible energy isn’t a thing $$$***

Mushrooms breathe oxygen by the way,
Just like people
…
Thanks for letting me share lol $$

And for my next theory,
I will aim to prove that potato chips are really not all that bad
…
Especially comparatively speaking Calorie wise, it’s really not bad.
Usually it’s more calories from fat than carbs
Because they’re always oiled up
…
once again, most oils aren’t really as poisonous as they seem,
At the very least, usually seed oil isn’t as bad as bacteria $$

Does anyone else have a better idea as to why I was first chair in the all state band with the clarinet
…
At 11 years old…
…
Cause that sounds like some shit Some reincarnated master pilot musician would do $$

What about competitive dressage horseback riding at age 10 before you could actually even spell dressage?
…
I was so good at horseback riding that I was pressured to compete.
 and I swear to God, I didn’t even know what the competition was
…
I was good at jumping shit on a horse and they thought I’d be good at making it dance too apparently $

We went to go Preview a tournament one morning,
and I said “fuck that shit“ lol $

I had too much to practice with my skateboard 🛹 $

Also, if I was to find out at age 31 that I was my grandfather in a past life
Without doing a decade in AA,
I probably wouldn’t be able to live with myself because of the selfishness impact that he I would’ve had on my family
…
Because if I didn’t go to AA, God only knows how destructive I really would’ve been if I was already in the Hall of Shame by age 17
…
just having such a bizarre, twisty windy Road of a life to live thus far, just continues to reinforce the karmic narrative $&

“I don’t know who I am, but I work for uncle Sam” $$

(That jingle just hits different)

I swear to God, I find myself humming old battle tunes,
And strange hymns
…
The type that would seem to lift spirits while fixing bonnets, lol $$

One thing I honestly haven’t pinned down though…
I’m not certain if I actually died during the Civil War,
 or if I just got hurt,
 or if I was just a savage $$

(Feeling more like a savage tbh
Seriously, my craving for battle is concerning)

I will also add that I am confident that I, like all others, am really just a spiritual compilation of other entities, 
somehow morphing & working together along the way
So there is a chance that both are true

(I lean this way more & more but I think that old pilot/captain is the one steering the ship)

I mean, if you killed somebody, what better way to make true everlasting amends, than to be incarnated literally in the same vessel in the next go round? $$

If I had to bet, I would probably still bet on the fact that I am both my grandfather’s squeezed into one ass hat 🎩 
…
My maternal is just too much of the “cliché, navy by the book anal type” 
😉 😉 
…
And my paternal was some kind of wild Green Beret I think
I do know that most of the actual insanity comes from my dads side of the family,
While most of the narcissism comes from my mom’s lol $$

I’m also confident that my moms side was more English & Northern European,
My dad’s was more French and southern Europe
…
And I know the French versus English isn’t a big deal today,
But my God, that’s some spiritual irony if I fought the French for a long fucking time,
Or the other way around,
And am a combo of patriotism and resentment 
…
That’s why shit gets so weird lol $$

That’s the red versus the blue for you though
..
Happy Fourth of July Eve lol $

Remembering how last year, even tho I was basically being starved, but I still saw orbs
…
And they were in perfect synchronicity with the fireworks
Can’t really disclose much else other than that $$

Spiritually speaking,
It all adds up though, 
because I would’ve been some kind of super strict asshole in a previous life, that would prob like to have arrested my current self for some pot.
…
Only to realize how much of a bitchass move that really is so I could grow and find balance of course $$

AnyWho, I challenge you, dear reader,
If you don’t know who you were in a previous life, I encourage you to begin to investigate it with an open mind
…
It is likely the answer is probably in front of your face
…
It literally was for me when you consider all the family portraits and all of the artwork 🖼️ $$

What kind of opened my eyes to this theory for real was some photographs and paintings and letters from family
…
The art specifically from my maternal grandfather, had a certain style and signature that I swear can recall
…
Not logically, but it is an emotional intuition,
“That’s something I would do” $$

Specifically?
…
I don’t know…, 
maybe like make a grandfather clock with two different worlds on it 
with red and white mushrooms 
that stops at 29 instead of 30 lol 🍄 $$

I also spent a very large portion of my childhood taking care of my maternal grandmother,
Who was on oxygen and had a hip replacement and a quite extensive list of physical ailments
…
I would drive her around and do chores and all of that
…
And… 
Steal a bunch of money when I was 15 to get super high that summer…
…
And unfortunately, she would pass just before I turned 16.
Right when I was really going down the drain…
…
..
.
Not kidding when I say a bird just flew onto the screen window right in front of my face, paused, & looked right at me when I said those last words… $$

I did make amends to her in any way I could once I got into recovery 
..
And that was a big proponent as to why I got sober so Young $

it’s true when people say that they probably spilled more alcohol than I actually drink…
In this go around, that is
…
Cause apparently my grandfather was like clockwork with the bottle too… $$

AnyWho, it is now 6:50 PM
Been doing a lot of work on the games while marinating in the heat
…
It’s really not bad
Probably easier than the cold lol $

Just killing some time to get a fresh brain slate so I can get back to work
…
Might fuck around and deliver pizza or two, who knows $$

Kind of surprised, I don’t think I made a note about it yet either
…
But whenever I run out to the car and have to hop in all quick and slap on my seatbelt, 
I swear to God, it feels like I’m strapping in to a bomber on some kind of destroyer, sailing the 7 seas $$

Ironically, the best way to learn that you’re never alone is to be as alone as possible for a few years $$$***

I think another sad fact is,
Pretty much any young person in recovery is likely pretty privileged
…
There’s a good bit, who, somehow, with no resources, managed to scrape themselves together at a young age
But it’s very very rare
…
And mostly those who actually make it while they’re young, probably had some kind of spiritual family component to it $$

…
Like yours truly
…
I wasn’t that privileged, but we had just cash enough to get me into rehab apparently $

But usually if you wait for nature to take its course, it’s unlikely you end up getting your shit together before the age of 30 $$*

So growing up, my friend group went from degenerate hood rats to rich college dropouts really quick lol $$

(Literally overnight actually)

The good news is is if I ever need content, or to hear some good shit, I could just buy a new hat and sneak into a meeting and I’ll blend right in. 🧢 $$

You gotta be a special kind of crazy to want to go to AA meeting for fun $$$

And ironically, serves as more good evidence against the fact that I’m an no longer an addic because no alcoholic ever wants to do some shit like that $$

Nothing in nature is evil,
Just really hungry $$

It’s probably better to be average at most things than to be spectacular at one thing
..
Because that’s pretty spectacular if you’re competent in that many areas $$$*

You can adjust to anything
That’s why you know when somebody complains, that they’re just new to something $$

I would argue that being competent is the most important thing you could ever be $$$*

…
… Unless you wanna argue that incompetence is somehow better? $

Competence requires experience though $$

It is 9:01 PM
I am under heavy attack by some bitchassness
…
It makes sense because I just arguably finished the hard part of the games for good 
…
Excluding the routine touchups, of course $

But I’m talking about the boring, basic generic texts
…
Which are really just more circles lol $$

So 
bitchassness be gone
Bitchassness be gone
Bitchassness be gone $$$

✌🏻 $$$

The 12 steps (street version)

1. Do you admit shit is fucked?
2. Can you can see that you are a part of the problem despite your best efforts, without getting too butt-hurt? do you believe that shit can get better?
3. Are you willing to be uncomfortable in the name of growth? (Forever but just one day at a time)
4. Can you write a list of everyone that you’re mad at? 
5. Can you talk about that list honestly?
6. Can you make a list of the ways in which you often act like an ass?
7. Can you honestly add to that list after we talk about your blind spots without getting butt-hurt?
8. Will you make a list of all the people you have wrong or pissed off?
9. Will you go make it right with them?
10. Are you willing to do a version of this on a daily basis?
11. Sounds ghey, but Are you willing to always strive to do a little extra just because the opportunity presents itself and nothing more?
12. Are you willing to share what you have learned with anyone interested?
13. …
Boom there’s the modded 12 steps for pretty much anything $$$*

Laying on the floor is the best way to intentionally do nothing
…
you still get energy points for it, both physically and philosophically $$

I am happy to report that the bitchassness is gone and has been alchemized into good vibes and a good buzz $

Always makes me laugh a little, 
talking about a buzz in the same notepad as steps and all of that shit hehe $

But I guess that’s my whole schitck,
Is that secret underground societies do not have a monopoly on the good spiritual philosophy
…
They have just perfected the technique under “do or die circumstances”
…
Which is why you know it’s the good shit $$

Imagine a chef who would literally ruin their entire life and disappoint everyone around them if they made some poor tasting food 
…
because they failed to follow the technique process that they agreed to? $$$*

But imagine if every time the chef went to go get a certain ingredient, 
Some coworker tried to sabotage them and trick them into using the wrong ingredient, or just leaving work altogether to go get high
…
And then every time the chef declined that temptation and went to go to cook, the stove would burn him just because he is new
…
And this is a special kind of stove that requires you to simply callous in order to handle the hot plates
…
And I could continue this analogy joke, but I am gonna just trail off now lol $$

(Classic)

Life is hard enough as it is, therefore you should never spend any moment Feeling bad for anyone else. $$$***

Pretty sure I wrote about it yesterday, but it needs repeating,
…
Heart disease, drugs, and dumb drivers kill more people, than bullets and bullshit biology
…
Therefore, the suburbs are the most dangerous environment on the planet $$$***

It is 9:58 PM and time to settle in
…
Just did a “cold shower”
It was very refreshing lol
…
I am happy to have a few extra clean towels so that way I can lay on the floor without getting too much lint and shit on me
…
I have a pretty tasty looking bag of potato chips to snack on throughout the night before my trail run tomorrow lol
…
I think my body weight is somewhere around 165.
Which is just straight weird because I feel bigger $

OK, I have a confession to make
…
Do you know how I talk all the time about the ancient nostalgia that I get whenever I see some World War II shit?
Or some Civil War shit?
Or revolutionary warship?
Or a sailboat?
Or really deep woods at all for that matter?
…
AnyWho,
I must admit that I kind of feel the same whenever watching prison shows… $$

I truly am conflicted.
There was a period to where if you would’ve told me I was some kind of ex convict in a previous life, that would’ve made some kind of sense
…
Especially if you told me that as a teenager, lol
…
But I think I relate to those shows simply because of how I felt growing up,
And there are certain elements about being in prison and being in the Navy that carryover I bet lol $$

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

7-4-26

74

Happy birthday America 🇺🇸 $$$

I am so proud of you, 
but I also feel like we need to talk… lol $$

I mean, not really right now
I’m just kind of riffing
…
It’s 3:21 AM after all $

*Lighter flick $$

What a weird day to be an American
…
I’m not too worried, I think we’re gonna figure it out
And I think when we do, will be better for all of our shit $$

Better to be balanced from experience than to still be afraid of the bullshit $$$***

I am also low-key pretty excited that we are on pace to set a heat record this year
Just seems a lil extra synchronistic for our 250th birthday $

The fact that I love my country more than anything else, despite how many times it has tried to poison me, kill me, & imprison me, is just weird to me lol $$*

I will say this much
If you can forgive people and not become resentful, then today’s day & age might be the best to be alive $$$

…
You’re gonna get played right and left regardless,
But there are plenty of tools available to offset the consequences and to accelerate recovery $$

And I promise you when I say that they can only fool you for so long
…
The key is to not take it personal but to also personally take responsibility lol $$$

I’m happy to report that that bag of potato chips is digesting smoothly so far,
After the two big ass pieces of pizza,
After the half rack of ribs,
After the various watermelon, raspberry blackberry, blueberry, strawberry berries $

I would just really like to hear the alternate leading comprehensive theory as to why shit is so crazy
…
Other than evil fuck nuts wanting you to feel fat, sick and tired so they can basically keep making money and fighting multi generational blood fueds $$$

OK, gun to head…
My money is on …
How do I put this…
…
..
.
Aliens are basically CIA propaganda
…
Magic is real and it’s basically the other half of religion,
and that is what it’s been corrupted and withheld by the functional equivalent of “evil Satanists”, who don’t want to go to prison $$***

The cosmos is not exactly how we understand it $$

Because the alternative theory is~
Aliens are pretty much primarily responsible for everything
…
Including creating us to begin with
…
And we are some kind of slave project that accidentally got out of hand
…
And thanks to some galactic gang of renegade space liberals, there is some kind of initiative to improve quality of life
…
Which might be the equivalent of giving a cow a better field to graze because we were most likely food of some sort in that scenario
…
Probably not biological food either $$

Imagine being some kind of bitch ass ethereal entity who can’t let shit go
…
So you’re forced to haunt people who have completely moved on to the point to where they never associate anything to your memory
…
So your only recourse is to save up all of your evil energy points just to do some petty shit to aggravate some stressed & busy asshat
…
Knowing damn well that in that state, there is no filter from the immediate consequence of your ethereal bitchyness, so it automatically does more harm to you than anyone else
…
But you’re so resentful that that’s the only thing you’re willing to do even in the afterlife/ shadow realm $$$*

…
If envisioning that makes you want to vomit, then you were probably a pretty good person
…
Otherwise, 
We’ll, most likely the profane probably wouldn’t even still be reading at this point $$$

The easiest way to hide things from idiots is to simply write them down $$$***

And if that is true, 
just think about how much easier it is to control the world back then when these idiots genuinely don’t even know how to read to begin with
…
And I mean, idiots respectfully because there were a lot of good people back then who were just kind of getting by $$$

I’ll say this,
Kinda unrelated lol,
If you are are a trained fighter doing the right thing & minding your own business, 
if you ever find yourself in a physical confrontation, 
then you do not need to worry whatsoever $$$

In fact, the more relaxed and the more laughable you find it, the less likely you are to legitimately kill somebody lol $$$

My point is that the Devine has your back as long as you did what you could to avoid it and to de-escalate
…
But at a certain point if somebody wants to smoke, then you are obligated to oblige $$$

I’m tired of people talking about how the war in Afghanistan was such a loss in a waste
…
These people fail to recognize just how much heroin we got out of the deal $$$***

If you’re a dick in this life, then your daughter is probably gonna marry a dumbass
…
Which means it is likely you will have a dumbass Dad next round
…
Which can either make you more of a dick, or can finally break the cycle by giving you a double dose of bullshit to deal with $$$

“Why do you say “thank you” all the time “
…
“ why do you say “thank you” so loud when no one even listen”
…
Profane ass ghost on my morning McDonald’s delivery 🚚 $

Some Super fan may realize I made a note about this a while ago,
But more evidence of reincarnation high strangeness~
…
Is the fact that probably my single greatest academic achievement ever was my “civics and economics“ grade in 10th grade
…
This was an incredibly difficult and confusing course and
…
I was high 99% of the time lol
…
..
.
And I was basically the best in the entire grade. 
I just instinctively knew the answers to pretty much everything they asked.
To such an extent that when we did one of the major exams for the quarter, I was so high on triple Cs that I could barely even read…
And I still got the third highest grade in the entire class $$

(Thanks for letting me share 😂 )

Lol remind me to get fabric softener next time $$$

It is 9:15 AM and we are on the way to the trail $

Only thing better than delivering an assbeating, 
is delivering one to a good beat 🎶 $$$***

First lap was sussy easy… 😏 $

If you have nothing better to do then take the 60 minute wild challenge
…
you just gotta go into the woods for 60 minutes lol
…
Doesn’t matter how far or even really “how thiccc” the woods is
…
Shit, you can probably even just hug a tree & it’ll count.
…
just go and don’t come out until 61 minutes has passed $$$

Just had an encounter with the most gorgeous green snake 🐍 
…
What a great day $$

lol gotta hit the lion soaked in sweat with my house slips on
…
Eggs & berries here I come $

I have begun to identify all the other sketchy shopping center rats 🐀 
…
Those others who also linger in shadows with nothing better to do… $$

I think the world would be a better place if we got rid of all of the ugly people
…
I don’t mean by like murder or anything,
I mean literally just by making people more attractive
…
There will still be by definition, some undesirables and some more desirables,
I just think that could become a product of behavior instead of biology
…
Mostly because we will end all of the evil biohacking in exchange for glorious bodybuilding $$$*

The most skilled is the most patient because patience is the most difficult skill to develop $$***

Better to practice “patience” with a CE before you end up becoming a patient with a T $$$***

Running away when you feel like running is nowhere near as hard as standing to fight when you want to run $$**

Some people use tissues to wipe their eyes when they cry,
I am so broke, I am simply using it to wipe my ass lol 😂 $$

The same car tissues that my ex insisted we keep on standby, have now become my toilet paper 🧻 $$

(Symbolic af ngl)

Glory only comes from those who actually handle hardship
…
Existential hardship is uncontrollable, and therefore more honorable when one sacrifices themselves for the greater good
…
Therefore, 
we should be grateful for those who are causing existential hardship because it is an irreplaceable ingredient to the making of the “Devine Superman” $$$*

Whatever sunburn I thought I had yesterday seems to be gone, which is great $

Logging for the record that I did three laps at the trail, which was probably about 5 miles.
In just about 60 minutes
With it being damn near 90°
…
Pretty happy with how easy it was
…
Could’ve definitely doubled it under the right circumstances, but it’s The first hot run of the season there’s no point
…
I’m just happy that I still have the running infrastructure without being too miserable or using the wrong gear ⚙️ $

The potato chips from last night‘s dinner seemed to do well lol $

I really don’t even know why I bother writing it at this point
…
I know nobody’s gonna believe me
…
But I’ll say it anyway
…
I did it again
…
I just somehow topped my oatmeal record
….
We got blueberries and cinnamon & the perfect amount of sugar
…
I am almost in disbelief $

If the worst thing that can happen to you can turn into the greatest blessing of your life,
Then I feel bad for those who are about to have an eventful day $$$

The fastest way to master something is by going through all of the mistakes and failures first
…
Once you’ve experienced every which way some shit can go wrong, then it becomes 9x times easier to get it right $$$

Magic is real, but can only be mastered by those who have learned how to keep a secret $$*

Saying I put between 8 to 13 spoonfuls of sugar in oatmeal just sounds like a lot
…
Until you realize that’s about how much the average soda has…
…
And I am making double serving size oatmeal with fibrous fruit $

When you consider all factors,
Some kind of fruit plus oats are probably as good as it gets for carb & fiber fueling
…
You’re gonna get the most nutrients & fiber that way in addition to the best Fast Fuel ⛽️ $$

Remembering when I got pulled over on the Fourth of July in 2012 with about four months of sobriety
…
I was pretending to drive drunk 🤦‍♂️ 
…
Nothing crazy just a very minor jerk and swerve to freak out people
…
And jokes on me cause I got pulled over after about five minutes lol
…
..
.
The cop let me go cause I told him that I was being an idiot and I even showed him my 90 day trip as evidence that I wasn’t actually drunk
….
Still don’t know why I even did that lol $

I seriously cannot remember a time in my life in which I did not believe in God
…
Not saying i was acting all that righteous or anything,
I mean, literally even at my earliest memory I remember I wasn’t an atheist lol
… $

Honorable questions
- How many times have you proactively shaken someone’s hand and introduced yourself?
- How many times have you unlocked the door for other others even when it wasn’t your responsibility?
- How many phone calls did you answer when you “had better things to do”
- How many hours have you spent alone in a parking lot for the greater good?
- How many people have you “bared your soul” too?
- How many people are you currently angry with?
- how many times have you overcome the urge to quit?
- How many weekends have you worked?
- How many late nights have you worked?
- How many drugs are you currently on lol
$$$***

The person who can get off the ground the smoothest is also likely the most dangerous
…
Philosophically speaking, of course $$

Go ahead and add another bowl of beautiful eggs to the tally
…
I wonder just how many eggs I’ve eaten by this point in my life $

All genuinely good people will admit that being of service gives more energy back than it cost
…
The only people argue against this, are genuinely bad people $$

Public school taught me how to take advantage of every last drop of poison that comes out of a bag labeled as nutritious $$***

So as of 2:39 PM, that bag of potato chips that I secured yesterday is now deceased
…
I’ll admit that I probably ate 4/5 of it last night $

I’m not happy with my body count on the ants at this point
 I’m trying to keep the peace but they keep invading $

I will not lie,
“The resistance games” is turning into some true Jumanji shit
…
So good luck dear reader, if you open that shit 🦌 $$$

Only spoiled atheists get upset when God doesn’t act like their superficial parents $$$

God’s gotta be secretive to avoid spoiling people and detracting from the meaning of one’s accomplishments
..
Saying,
Weightlifting wouldn’t be so fun if somebody helped you with every single rep $$

The Earth is not flat, but the universe is $$*

Even my body temperature average is 97.9
Not 98.6 $

Saying you’ll start taking care of your health and exercising when you find the time is like saying you’re gonna buckle your seatbelt when you see a crash coming $$$****************

It is 5:08 PM
Just had another quick delivery from McDonald’s that nearly cost me my serenity
…
Some random dude who didn’t even speak English runs in cut the line,
Talking on the phone the entire time,
Grabs the wrong order and proceeds to just walk the fuck out
(I admire the confidence tho)
…
Of course it was my order that I’ve been waiting on for a little bit.
If it wasn’t for the employee working stopping him, then he would’ve just ran out and delivered the wrong food $

Ironically, the delivery was to a handcrafted furniture place $

(The old man inside was certainly the target of some message apparently)

And as I write this note, I nearly see somebody caused another traffic accident lol $

I really don’t understand how some people get up in the morning and dress themselves $$

(I don’t understand where people are buying their clothes from either…)

I guess you are either the impatient idiot learning the lesson,
Or you are the teacher/ prop & part of its installation $$*

Nothing makes me more nauseous than seeing Fitness fuckers commenting on other people’s post, in an insincere supportive manner, just to increase their reach and manipulate the algorithm $$$***********

Being disingenuous is the worst form of lying
…
You’re literally lying about lying 
…
you’re using false pretenses to deliver a false message,
Always for selfish gain or to avoid some kind of judgment or loss $$$***

If you actually cared about your impact on somebody else, you would focus on being as authentic as possible, at all times
…
& less about pleasing somebody or who you think MIGHT be paying attention $$$

Sometimes I laugh,
Sometimes I cringe,
When I think back to life before the declassified notepad
…
Mostly because I would just go on tangents with captive audiences
… cough, cough, clients cough, cough $$

I like to believe that my personal training clients enjoyed some of my monologues tho
…
At least more than the isometrics
…
But when someone’s sweating and swearing, it’s kinda hard to tell the cause $

“God, I wish Apple news would stop coming up with so many weird lame articles”
…
..
.
* rookie Fort Mill man breaks hot dog eating contest
…
..
.
“OK now we’re talking lol” $

Piloting any kind of machine will give you an understanding and appreciation for the unconscious decisions that must be made just to keep the bio-body alive $$

You can’t call yourself a true philosopher if you’ve never worked in a restaurant on a holiday $$$***

Hanging out with people to kill time it’s just weird
…
Like you’re just constantly alternating between being aware of them and something else and someone’s wondering thoughts $$

The opposite of love is not hate,
It is indifference and apathy $$

Hate is the delusion that you thinking somebody else is wrong when It’s really just your own thought patterns $$

If today is Independence Day, then when do we celebrate incarceration day?
…
If holidays are too raise awareness, it seems like we need that holiday more than we need a reinforcement that we are no longer as bad as we used to be $$$*

I’ve talked a lot about pain and bullshit
But I think there’s nothing more painful than disappointing everyone you’ve ever loved $$$

Killing people does not make you a bad ass
…
You just need to be hangry enough and it’ll be the easiest thing you’ve ever done $$*

By definition, you cannot be part human and part God
…
God is literally just the whole,
The entirety of all the collective consciousness,
Human is just one unit of this
…
So trying to be a demigod is literally the path of self dissolution $$

I’d argue that in the long run, those who were bullied in middle school turned out better than those who were not $$*

I would argue that you only have power over things that you do not want,
The things that you do want will always control you
…
Therefore, the most powerful person is truly the one who wants for nothing $$$

Memes are just “unrelated comparison” contests $$

It is 818 and time to go back to Food Lion for the second time today lol $

Sandwich 
Oats
Cat food & treats
Cigs
Pepperoni
 30.36$ $

I just find it funny that this past year we’ve had historic cold with an historic snowstorm, and serious drought , and now we’ve got a historic heat wave
…
And I haven’t really had any climate control the entire time which has actually been awesome $

In another ironic twist of fate, I feel that it is most appropriate that I force myself to have a couple shots tonight $

OK, no bullshit,
It’s 9:27 PM
The fireworks are popping, literally
…
But they’re on another level.
It literally sounds like a Warzone
No exaggeration
…
And naturally, I have the windows down and my neighborhood is booming so this shit is pretty loud 
…
And I am officially two shots deep and a couple hits
…
And I swear to God, I am having flashbacks.
They’re not really bad because I know I’m good and I’m kind of asking for them, 
but I swear that I’m almost getting battle visuals of being in like some in some large ass infantry line or on a warship $

I am confronted with the undeniable truth that I am in this life to be a healer because of all of the fighting I have been a part of for the past couple hundred years apparently.
…
I am also more than convinced that I used to be a doctor or healer or a physician of sorts
…
Maybe I was just peddling snake oil,
and maybe it was working a hell of a lot better than what we have today… $

It is 10:22 PM
That ham and cheese sandwich is no longer with us
Along with most of those blueberries
…
I force fed myself the rest of those eggs earlier
Which wasn’t all that bad but it wasn’t all that great either
…
No slight to the chef who still nailed it $

We’re gonna have to come up with a better term,
“Gratitude” just seems like an understatement $$$

Happy birthday, once again, you big beautiful bitch America
🇺🇸 $$$

(Love you 😘)







———

Welcome to the resistance games
There are 52 cards divided amongst the 4 training elements
Each element features a different set of techniques
Every movement is linked to a technique demo 
Match the movement stars by performance degree to earn energy points
Complete the cards as is for a full body split or focus on one of the dimensions for a push pull leg split
Look to the colors for guidance regarding intensity



Push
- 76 / 50
- 103 / 66
- 130 / 80
- 150 / 90
- 166 / 103

Pull
- 76/ 66
- 103/ 80
- 130 / 95
- 150/ 113
- 166 / 130

Squat
- 100 / 76
- 133 / 100
- 166 / 125
- 200 / 150
- 225 / 175

Dead
- 133 / 100
- 166 / 125
- 200 / 150
- 225 / 175
- 250 / 200

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

7-5-26

75

It is 2:24 AM
It is the first few moments of America’s 251st year
It is finally somewhat peaceful
…
Good morning world, lol $

*Lighter flick $

The time for the uprising is near 
…
The time which we finally pull the rug out from these elite asshats
…
When the little guy finally quits getting played and wins the game $$$

We shall make “David and Goliath“ look like a philosophical warm-up $$$

I don’t know why some people find it hard to believe that the same people who would traffic kids for pleasure are also hiding technology that could revolutionize the world $$7

Nothing scares the profane more than the idea of owning up to the consequences of being wrong $$***

Even good people struggle with becoming overly attached to their own preferred propaganda $$*

Jesus better have benched 315
…
Just sayin $

Hell, I’ve met plenty of fuck boys who could rep 225 
…
But a 315 power press will put some fucking meat on your chest, I’ll tell you that. $$

Don’t trust any voice that has incentive in convincing you to not plan ahead $$$*

YOLO is not as an effective TQ as WWJD 
…
I’ll also say that $$$

Whether the story was corrupted by intelligence communities or not, doesn’t really matter
…
I bet you the historical Jesus was likely on the final level in the reincarnation resistance games
And was super enlightened $$

If you can adapt to anything,
Then I say better to adapt to being able to work in the cold or heat instead of working in a monkey suit $$$

Fitting & funny how most atheist are the first ones in line to rock a monkey suit… $$*

Happy 6:55 AM
Getting a little post birthday buzz before strolling in the Aldi’s and then rolling into the gym
…
For God knows what honestly $

Maybe I’m naive enough to think that an exercise book can change some lives
…
But picture this~
Somebody goes to the gym and now has some cool new techniques to try out who would normally never show up
…
They end up loving moving more and therefore end up going to the gym more often
…
By going to the gym more often, not only does their health improve, but so does their social prospects
…
They end up meeting their next love because they’re so filled with newfound confidence and strength.
…
Then they start a new business and quit getting played as a wage slave
…
And they do so well, they soon sent an example for other people
…
And soon there is a large group of people who are strong and healthy and living out their dream just because one dude or shawty had a little bit of an incentive to stay extra one day $$$***

If parents are the true children, then there’s no such thing as an only child $$

It is 7:11 AM and I’m gonna try to have a big pepperoni for breakfast lol $

“ fuck that’s a good pepperoni”
…
-Ricky (trailer Park boys)
-two-ts Francis $$$

Followed by the greatest bowl of blueberry oatmeal ever
I’ve done it once again $

It ain’t magic if you just worked your ass off for a while $$

(Actually it is tho)

I can’t believe how many people walk around drinking coffee as their primary source of hydration
….
Or soda
…
Which is way way worse $$

Adjusting for caffeine withdrawal, I’d argue most people would feel a lot better first thing in the morning if they just drank concentrated electrolytes
…
And they’d save a shit load of money $$

Buffering always sucks ass
…
So make sure not to do it in real life $$$

If death is just a misunderstanding, 
then the only way we have to defeat it, is through philosophy, Not biology 🧬 $$$*

I swear to God, the average customer at McDonald’s has gotten fatter in the past 10 years $$

(Removed cuz idk wtf I was saying)

Sorry, I’m triggered and very aggro today for some reason
It is 10:25 AM
Beyond that things are really great
 we got more impatient people making you question your faith in humanity, but that’s just Sunday morning for you $

Most confuse hindsight with reasoning ability
…
Subconsciously they know this though, which is why they never actually take any action,
And instead are just chasing the armchair quarterback Hall of Fame records $$***

Most things are not black and white,
Or right and wrong,
…
They’re just various shades of fucked $$***

The sophistication required to balance one one fucked up thing versus another is the only true skill that matters $$

Most would agree that the greatest fear in the world for some is if their parents read their diary 📔 $$

So maybe you’ll understand the risk I take each and every day by publishing this shit lol $

I think if you zoomed down as far and as small as you consciously can,
The same voice inside your head that pitches the ideas cannot be the same voice that determines & judges $$

It is in the public’s best interest that all the most talented artists get tortured for a while to really perfect their craft $$***

How smooth I am with unbuttoning clothes is evidence that I was a magician in a past life $$

Sounds bad, but lying to other people is not as bad as lying to yourself
…
The issue is that most often they’re one in the same $$

The way to avoid lying to other people just to simply write down the truth and be willing to show it to anybody who is genuinely interested
…
If they don’t express or demonstrate interest in learning to understand the truth, then that’s not even lying,
That is just a deception technique survival mechanism $$$

Otherwise, every animal that has camouflage would be a liar $$

I say it’s OK to appreciate the smell of your own sweat,
It’s not OK to appreciate the smell of your own shit though $$$*

What do you get when you mix a green beret with a fighter pilot?
…
A mysterious alcoholic lol $$

The truly most helpful things I’ve ever come across were actually hidden for a while at first $$

You would have philosophical superpowers too if you had to motivate yourself every three minutes just to function $$$*

You might be a demigod if you also had to combat alcoholism and severe depression along with it $$

And let’s not forget~
 you must be isolated around neurotics
…
Primarily family $$

In a world in which decrepit zombies are the ones delivering the most pizzas,
I will argue that I am the dashing Dasher $$

It is 4:05 PM
I am pretty much neutral
…
But I just delivered some hot wings and did some cleaning within an hour without any chemical help 
so that’s a pretty big deal $

I say, 
if it either tries to take your blood or your food, then you have permission to kill it $$$

(C’MERE you physician fucksticks 🐍)

It would be pretty funny if God just turned out to be Santa
…
But like a literal Santa
…
Like Some super smart group of entities living in the north pole that are just nosey magicians $$$

Exercise is just the art of effort $$***

Anybody that can listen to the ice cream truck jingle for more than three minutes without wanting to kill themselves cannot be trusted
…
If they’re willing to put up with that kind of suffering just to give ice cream to kids, then I think that’s about a big of red flag as it gets $$$***

Being an alchemist means you are responsible for turning a bad situation into a good one
…
So if you’re in a good situation, I already know you ain’t a real one lol $$**

It is 5:13 PM
Posted up at the BP trying to snag another dash or two
..
Pretty impressive day on how little stimulus I’ve needed, Regarding TV shows and podcasts and music and all that
…
I basically been laying on the floor when I haven’t been delivering a cheeseburger or two
…
I’m happy to say that my natural resting patience is back &
And this is the exact opposite of where I was last year this time biologically .
…
I’m forcing myself to make a note about it because of how easy something like this is to forget until it becomes something you wish for more than anything else,
Just being able to be still that is $

Another personal overall update,
Cannabis use is still at an all-time low (.5gs daily)
Same with the 7-oh which is probably about to be criminalized lol (15mg adjust. Daily)
…
Cravings and obsession on all that are nonexistent.
And it truly does serve as a nice little supplement whenever my dopamine completely crashes
…
Caffeine is also at a new record low,
I have not had any in the afternoon in several days.
My sensitivity is also improved so I’m getting more out of my morning cocktail if you will $

Regarding all of the creative work,
 What used to destroy my energy after about 30 minutes has now become unconscious
…
Intuition’s are much more clear,
My overall stress level is significantly decreased comparatively speaking $

My two primary rules for determining if something survives the edit~
…
-if it is something I would say to somebody in the flesh
or 
If it is something that I can’t say to anybody at all directly without them losing their shit $$

If you fuck with your body‘s ability to heal itself for too long, then it’s going to just start attacking its own tissue $$$

Imagine convincing everybody that just because you were born at a certain level, means that you get to stay rich and they get to stay fetching your food $$$

…
Like to be a king back in the medieval times probably was pretty sweet.
I mean, you could only do so much from within the castle,
And everybody was so concerned with making you happy that they didn’t really rock the boat for a couple thousand years
…
And then, considering the nature of reincarnation leapfrog, you probably did actually get to maintain your power for a long period of time $$

The squirrel is the ADHD spirit animal $$

It is 7:10 PM and I must report another wave of bitchassness has rolled in
…
All of the small things seem to be trolling.
 I was hungry not long ago, and I had some tuna and crackers, which were mediocre at best
…
Trying to get one last dash just to get a little extra food money cause now I only have $2.90 lol
…
I don’t really care about any of that. I just don’t feel like doing anything at all. $

I’m sure it’ll pass because I have a mountain of evidence doing the same song and dance
…
If it’s a pathogen or some kind of entity, then I’m sure it is enjoy enjoying my really low demeanor at the moment
…
But it won’t take long before it realizes how much of a piece of shit it actually is and then it starts feeling worse than I am
…
So that’s pretty cool actually $$

Just a reminder that whenever a demon fucks with you, 
however bad you feel, they’re gonna feel much worse once it’s all said and done
…
And they’re only doing that to distract from whatever consequences that they have to deal with in the void of shame
…
So just don’t engage & soon they’ll be forced to grow the fuck up $$$***

All Demons have tiny dicks by the way $$

And they’re just mad that they can’t fuck $$

Never worry about an entity that can’t say it to your face $$$***

Just give them the opportunity and then roast them for bitching out $$

I’ll also say that being the best at something is a feeling that transcends lifetimes $$$

…
Wouldn’t expect lame loser demons to know that though $$

In all seriousness, these fucking entities know they aren’t even worthy to 
 smell the sweat on my shorts 
…
But Ill still teabag them daily anyway $$

I am not exaggerating when I say that it is 7:20 PM and I am feeling way better lol $

So suck my salty, sweaty, stressed out dick $$$

 lol $

Most end up losing about 20 or 30 pounds the first few months when quitting drinking,
Dumping all that excess alcohol weight
…
But then they end up gaining more than that back in about 9 to 12 months when they start going out to eat with everybody after the recovery meetings lol $$

Evil entities feed of belief,
So if you believe that they are all baby back bitches, then they’re gonna be eating each other‘s ribs if you know what I’m saying $$$*

Just picture the weakest Soy-Boy who’s angry at daddy For buying him the wrong flavor of monster
…
That is a common archetype of an ethereal troll $$**

Somewhere at some point, 
there was a being like this that got himself killed from most likely trying to take a shortcut of sorts,
And is too afraid to reincarnate and fix their own bullshit
…
Therefore would rather poke and prod the unsuspecting consciousnesses of hardworking folk
…
Partly because of how easy it is,
Partly because of how entertaining it is,
But mostly because they’re just literally killing time $$

But yeah, AnyWho, if you start feeling like shit, then just start talking shit back lol $$

Simply smiling in the face of resistance is enough to reframe the entire event
…
even if the punch lines don’t hit or fit $$

Baby back bitch ass evil entities love nothing more than to be the bad kind of gay and suck the bad kind of dick $$

Evil entities are forced to accept what you say they are,
If you think they are cool, then they gain power
…
If you think they are about to get comedically gaped, then guess what…🫢 $$

Satan secretly wants to get kucked by Jesus $$***

Evil only uses pain to prove a point because that’s how low they are on the sophistication pole $$

True masters have a weird perverse love of pain because it means they are growing every time $$*

Therefore, true masters love when evil baby back bitches serve up opportunities to demonstrate the power of the 12 steps $$

Evil wanted me to be ill, 
which is why I am so sick 🤙🏻 $$

All weakness is evil 
and all evil is weakness $$***

Just declined a DoorDash opportunity to deliver McDonald’s to a middle school friend 
…
who sent me up to get robbed when I was 16
…
Not today evil, 
Not today lol $

lol now on a double dash round the block
…
Waiting on an order 
…
Wish me luck 🍀  
$

Now 8:07pm,
That order went well,
But I had to get greedy and now I’m waiting on 6 milkshakes at McDonald’s for someone else lol
…
Tis the game we play $

Nothing returns as much energy as winning
…
Best thing to win at? 
…
Being the most patient 
…
Therefore, you get energy back when you are the most patient $$

God help these other dashers man,
These people look like they are really struggling under the weight of their own consequences $

I wouldn’t be getting energy out of waiting for a delayed order if I didn’t do my time behind the counter tho
…
So watching everyone struggle just reminds me of the hell I smiled thru $$

On a sad note tho,
One of the employees is now crying 
…
Mostly cuz leadership is being an asshat
…
That part does not make me happy to see
But that is the truth of the game,
McDonald’s is some of the hardest work on the planet, philosophically speaking $

It is 8:21 PM
In all seriousness, I’m actually really glad I went out of my way to wait for another order
…
Gratitude comes in many shapes and sizes, but few as fitting as a McDonald’s memory $

It is 923 and time for a cigarette and some decompression
…
Mentally speaking $

That was bittersweet actually at the McDonald’s
…
It’s kind of funny cause one of the managers looks almost exactly like I did, just with longer hair stashed in a bun $

But one of the girls who was crying at the end was clearly burnt out and being forced to stay late
…
And clearly business was pretty fucked even though it really wasn’t that bad when I was there
…
She still made the strawberry shakes with tears in her eyes though like a true suburban hero $

So shout out to her $

I wanna be clear that I derive no pleasure from her pain,
The pleasure that I got from that whole ordeal was simply being calm in the middle of a shit storm
…
Where even nine months ago, I would’ve been emotionally bugging out $

Ironically enough, I have clarity and I have come to a resolution as to why I was burning alive internally
…
I can now say it was mostly the psychic spiritual shit
And that my biology had degraded any kind of energetic defense that I had
…
So I would become extremely emotionally fatigued whenever somebody would start acting ratchet and disrespectful 
…
And I could only physically maintain that level of dopamine for so long.
It got better each day as I got better skilled tho $

…
But again, there’s a reason why people pay for that service because dealing with these fucking people is insane $$

And I swear to God, 
if there is a trial or test for Saint Hood, 
you must work fast food in order to qualify $$

Meditating in a monastery does not impress me,
Meditating in a McDonald’s in the middle of all of march madness does $$$

So I challenge any anyone who wants to say that they are enlightened,
…
First part of that challenge is 7 months at McDonald’s
…
Bonus points for overnight like I did
…
Oh yeah, and you cannot miss your secret meetings either.
You gotta do at least 7 a week
…
And you better not touch any mind or mood altering substances.
Yep, no psychedelics or cannabis
…
Cough cough the raw dawg nine years cough cough $$$

…
Anyhow, clearly, I need to do a 10 step $$

..
Oh, look, I did it again $

I can promise you that there’s no humor in hell,
It is populated by those who take shit too seriously $$*

Soy-Boy atheists are actually really happy with the rise of AI so that they can finally have an audience of mindless robots to listen to them $$$* 

Seriously, if you got some shit opinion that no one actually wants to listen to, 
then I guarantee most your engagement is from legitimate bots $$$

Resentful people are the easiest to roast.
They’ve already done 66% of the work for you $$

There is a legitimate chance I might be the toughest critic in the entire universe lol $$

The only thing worth taking pride in: 
Impact on others $$***



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WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

7-6-26

76

Here’s a secret
…
Today is one of the coolest days of the entire year
…
Good ol ‘76 $$

Happy 2:22 AM $

I am not wasting any time taking advantage of this amazing day $

*Lighter flick $

I must confess though that I might end up wasting some eggs as I am just not hungry, and yet, they are yelling at me $

When I started this madness, eggs were nearly 3 dollars a dozen and they are now half that, which is pretty sweet $

I mean seriously though,
If you are struggling with what to eat and your cool with cutting, 
then you can get by with nothing but eggs 🥚 $$

It is now 3:09 AM
And I have taken six eggs to the house
…
So I now have six less eggs in the house lol $

Shit like that is why I love the English language $$

But yeah, 
just thinking about how the need to be right, ironically, has probably done the most wrong $$*

Put another way~
Needing to be right is the fastest way to be wrong $$$

I keep forgetting to turn my headlamp off so when I step outside to smoke, I get assaulted by a moth or two
…
But I’m not angry $

I wouldn’t call what I just did “force” feeding
…
It was is more like “strong suggestive” feeding $$

I have a catch-up session old client in a few.
That’s pretty exciting to be getting back in the flow of things $

It is 8:28 a.m.
…
Man, mixed emotions
…
Just got an unexpected gift from my parents after having to lie to them again
…
The session went great as I watched my client smash some decent weights with ease
…
I am currently playing with the kitty as he has a good bit of energy, which is great to see
…
And I’m about to go to the gym hopefully before my caffeine buzz wears off $

I’m also still having slight panic attacks every time I see utility service providers in the neighborhood lol
…
At this point, all I have left is my gas
…
And boy is that symbolic lol $$

If you never learn to fight, then a runner is all you’ll ever be $$$***

God created you to feel good,
And you can’t feel good until you accept the bad with the good $$**

Nine out of 10 times ,destroying something is just silly $$

Nothing worse than somebody stepping in to take credit for something that you did $$

Bitch assness works like this~
…
Let’s say you are new to lifting and you want some advice
…
You come and ask me a question that has many different answers,
And I, being an asshole, opt to give the most complicated & least helpful response, just so you think I am smarter than I am
…
Demonstrating that my priority is more about your opinion of me than less about assisting you in your request for knowledge
…
And let’s say that I actually recognize this subconsciously because it feels good to feel smart,
 so I just simply repeat this each time because newcomers have no way of knowing any different until they gain the experience that I think I am so special to have
…
..
.
That is pretty much the entire scientific community these days if we are all being honest $$$***

Those who worship evil will be awarded with power over something,
Otherwise nobody would sign the deal
…
It’s just whatever you get, is going to be lame as hell $$

Imagine worshiping Satan for your entire life only to be given power and Dominion over … let’s say… ketchup packets once you die
…
Which is actually probably pretty high on the list of trolling if we’re being honest because these condiments never wanna cooperate $$$*

Also needs repeating~
Knowledge without experience is just suspicion and
…
 nobody’s gonna take advice from a resentful white belt $$$*

If Jesus offered himself up knowingly to be crucified, then that is basically the same as committing a form of suicide
…
Which would make him a sinner
…
Proving that even the most holy man was arguably, sinning by offering up such a holy body to be destroyed $$

You cannot call yourself a true philosopher if you do not play yourself the most $$$*

It is 12:49 PM
Looks like luck is on my side
…
Gotten two surprise dashes back to back
…
A surprise dash is when you somehow get more cash than the original offer
…
Im honestly not really sure how this happens lol $

Any feeling of missing out stems from bitchassness by default
…
Because ain’t nothing more bad ass than being completely content, no matter what happens $$$*

There actually isn’t such a thing as “free energy” in nature,
It is just that you can get your energy cost down so low that it might as well be
…
 But it usually takes years of hard-working study to get to that point though $$

But once you get there, it’s almost like a reward from the Devine for finally mastering whatever it is
…
That’s the only way to keep it fair from the fuck sticks who always want to shortcut everything $$

Life is just a game of waking up and trying to prove yourself wrong,
Then being pleasantly surprised when you failed to do so $$**

Jesus would just be the David Goggins of recovery $$

Can’t believe people think the moon is hollow
…
That’s almost as bad as thinking it’s an actual rock
…
..
.
It’s obviously cheese 🧀 $$$*

Authenticity is always balanced
It just might not seem like it to the untrained eye $$

Evil fuck sticks have just reframed competition to fit their fears
…
Removing all of their respect from it and turning it into something super heinous in the process $$

You would think that those who believe in the best most loving being of all time would be the most fun to hang out with, 
but unfortunately, 
they’re usually the most closed minded and annoying
…
Cough, cough Christians cough cough $$$*

Just had my third surprise dash of the day
…
Almost makes me feel like somethings wrong in the good way lol $

Even the poison is patriotic nowadays $$

It is 8:06 PM
And I ain’t even bullshitting
…
This has been one of the best days ever,
Of the low-key chill type $

For the first time in a while, Ive ended up with a little extra cash
Just enough to where I might not have to worry about a phone bill or some nutritional fuel for a bit maybe
…
Gratitude is once again and an understatement$

But anyhow, I am very happy to report how much work has gotten done with the final touches and with all of the links and what not $

It reinforces all of the crazy rambles & why I’ve been trying to figure out why I’ve been so fucked in the head for so long
…
Going through this process has proven without a shadow of doubt the creative resistance that is just naturally inherent with anything worth doing $$

It must be overcome usually the old-fashioned way $$

But when your biological vehicle has been poisoned and BioHacked, 
and when you have been imprisoned behind walls of propaganda, 
then it just makes it very difficult to even begin to buy into that possibility $$**

When your body is compromised, everything is more difficult
…
But at a certain point when your body is in a certain survival mode, then it can be quite literally destructive to itself and everyone near it on all energetic levels $$$

And point being is that there are other energetic levels of consciousness that are ever present that we can’t see with the physical eye that is $$$

These are far more impactful to the overall well-being of any organism
…
the power of placebo is more real power than most pharmaceuticals
…
It just takes a lot more practice $$

AnyWho, it is now 8:11 PM
Just finished a cigarette,
After a bowl of eggs,
& small block of cheese
& small quarter of some kind of salami
And a small bowl of blueberries $

And all joking aside, tomorrow is one of the most significant anniversaries for me. $

4 years ago, it was my super basic generic leather bound Journal arrived from Amazon.
And I begin writing in it
…
Two years to the day after that, 
I found myself at the oldest bookstore in the world, over in Portugal.
Where I bought my current leather bound journal that is maybe a fifth full $

Point being,
 It Mark’s my anniversary of actually beginning this crazy mystery school of mind and magic
…
Which is really just writing honestly 
…
that’s the secret lol $$

And if you don’t believe me, 
then you must not have written enough because I thought that shit was crazy as fuck too until… well… a lot of high strangeness $

The only way I support drinking more Coca-Cola is if they go back to the original formula $$$***

I also treated myself and bought a gram of some really dank shit
…
And I currently am baked as a cake
…
And I have cottonmouth
…
And saltines
…
And the munchies
…
..
.
It’s a little rough, but still super dank if you catch my drift $

————

lol see below for some draft notes about the training deck

————-
Welcome to the resistance games
There are 52 training cards divided into 12 groups & four elements
(Like a regular deck of cards)

Each element focus on a specific area of performance

Each group prioritizes a specific piece of equipment

Each card features a different set of individual movement techniques

Complete the movements by matching the stars to earn the energy points
(Points are for performance tracking and dopamine exchange)

The colors of each card relate to intensity 
Inside color - power rating
Outside - energy points
- blue being low
- Red being high

The goal is three working sets per card with the top set scored.

(Excluding the “function” element)
For Function, only 1 working set is required to earn the points

Check out the directory targets for quick selection 
Click bottom RIGHT to return to directory 
Click the EQ icon for an overview demo 
Click the movement title for a TQ demonstration

Start with the lowest possible resistance that you can & then Aim for the stars

Complete cards as is for full body,
Or focus on one dimension per card for a specific split

& remember, by accepting each challenge you assume all risk and rewards.


$$$$$$

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

7-7-26

77

* thunder boom $

It’s another one of those days that I thought I’d never make it too.
But very grateful nonetheless $

It is 1:27 AM $

I have risen to smoke weed and eat meats and refuel before going back into the woods $$

The storm is pretty lovely as well $

If the option is to make money later or have fun now, then that is an easy decision $$

Ironically,
I felt a lot younger before all of this reincarnation-eternal life bullshit lol $$

I just wanna pause for a moment and say that I’m not really a big fan of the whole “lol” even as much as I use it
…
But aesthetically I think it actually looks kind of cool
…
lol $$

And it’s just an easy way to make sure people know you’re kidding whenever you say something that could be misconstrued as mean or angry $$

Friendly reminder that even the smallest most secretive detail details matter most in your day-to-day $$$

I think too often we miss-prioritize plans involving other people above the deeply personal and solitude endeavors $$$

there is a lot of pressure to share every single moment with friends and romantic soulmates and what not
…
 the foundation must be founded in a strong sense of self first $$$

You’ll never be strong until you are tested either
Until then, you will just be suspicious at best $$**

But afterwards, you will find yourself with a new freedom and a new happiness without having to try for it $$

I will confess that at this point, I can barely even touch my grinder
…
I have literally rubbed off whatever coating it had and so now every time my hand smell smells like metal
…
I seriously can’t even use it for its original purpose anymore lol $

You know it’s good shit when you can barely break it apart with your fingers without them sticking together $$

Most honorable-
“I know I ain’t all that great but I’ll stop at nothing until I am” $$$

Regarding UfO disclosure shit,
Pretty crazy how those who have the most advanced secret technology still prefer to use old-fashioned typewriter and letters & shit
Just so those documents can inevitably get discovered one day, right? $$

(Whenever you cant completely hide something, just come up with a good cover story to protect it from the impatient idiots)

I will confess that I actually really enjoy quitting
…
I just can’t do it until tomorrow $$

The most foolish thing is to try to reason with selfish and stupid $$$

Some just smell extra old lol $$

Athletes don’t mind compromising form a bit for numbers,
Artists would rather die than demo bad TQ
…
Adepts do both, just depends who’s watching lol $$

It’s 11:30
Ngl
I’m just standing in the middle of a Publix with a sub in the middle of a feels trip
…
Just realized this is the first time I’ve been back to Publix since my ex bounced
…
And while I’m not missing the drama, it hurts because I am hit with the nostalgia from of all the nice nights that followed our grocery run.. $

Man that was a hard personal dash… $

Also,
This one sandwich cost more than what I spent on food all week this time last year lol $

I guess it’s time I update and confess~
…
I decided not to go to the secret trail again
…
As much as I wanted to, I realized I’d be spending just as much time in the car,
And the whole point of today (or the next few days) is to try to take some kind of emotional break best from behind the wheel and put myself first again $

So I just had one of the best push workouts all year long,
When you count energy points, and RPE and all of that
And just how smooth and fluid it really was $

I was gonna go to the library afterwards, but I’m just too gassed
Mostly due to calories
…
Which leads me to the sandwich rationale
…
This is the first “meal” I’ve purchased for myself outside of the normal grocery run in a year $

If you were to challenge anyone to not eat out for an entire year, how many do you think could do it? $$$*

If you could leave those feeling just one percent better than when you found them, just think about all of the energy you will get back overtime $$$***

I’ll also confess that I didn’t make a note about it yesterday, but let’s just say it was very difficult to finish the touchups with all of the tears
…
Some of the best, most joyous of my life
…
And most silent $

Really turning a chapter it seems 
And it is exciting to be able to catch it in real time instead of constantly having to react to my own perceived bullshit
…
In many ways, I’ve been training for this transition
…
Still very heavy emotionally tho $

It’s also hard to even think that it’s been almost 18 months since my ex left and I pretty much began working nonstop on all of this writing madness
…
Truth be told, i was working nonstop our whole relationship, which is part of the reason why she bounced lol
…
But then I just had to do it with no money, and no dopamine, and no social support lol $

I made plenty of notes about it and I’ve had plenty of time to talk about it but when you’re still actively fighting just to keep the lights on or food on the table, you’re not gonna be able to fully recover $

And if you’ve read my other notes, you’ll know I’ve already failed to keep the lights on as my power is still cut off lol $

But anyway, so far today, I also forced myself to buy a pre-workout for the first time in months
…
I am very excited $

The greatest of all time simply had the greatest nemesis
…
Which is why you should be grateful for your enemies $$$

The male ego can be dangerous & alll, but nowhere near as deadly as the female ego
…
A corrupted female ego is the most likely to turn on their own kind and on their own team
…
Most likely to do some kind of internal sabotage of the shittiest variety $$$

The male ego typically just becomes more and more closed off and radicalized physically
…
But also generally becomes more and more loyal to whatever the original belief system was $$$ (stubborn af)

The female typically becomes further and further delusional,
Constantly changing by the emotional wind, alienating everything and everyone $$$

It’s pretty obvious that rap & hip-hop 
started with heavy influence from the CIA
…
It’s just that they used to make way better sounding propaganda back then than the shit that’s out today $$*

Unnecessary comfort is the true poison ☠️ $$$***

Crazy to think about how some people’s biggest fears are just being photographed from the wrong angle at the wrong time… $$$***

Earth is just one giant spiritual prank phone call 📞 $$***

There is no greater feeling than being strong
…
Which is why the world is littered with opportunities because the best way to become strong is by dealing with idiots $$$***

I know pretty much everything that comes through Some kind of screen is propaganda of some sort.
…
I just think that it used to be a lot more thoughtful when it was on paper $$

It is 3:40 PM
I have been a lazy bear all day
And that’s the first time in a while I can genuinely say that
…
After glorious workout, I had just as glorious of a sub from Publix as I noted earlier
And I just finished another bowl of world-famous cinnamon oatmeal
…
I’m getting the ratio down better each and every time
The cinnamon really helps cut back on the sugar. I’m not gonna lie.
13 spoonfuls of sugar is pretty aggressive, but a pretty good TQ if you wanna hit a carb coma pretty much any point in the day $

I am excited to report that I think I am a couple weeks away from being legitimately scary physique wise $

I truly think I’m probably about 8% body fat, but most of it is now located around my abdomen like a good old man that I am becoming
…
My point is that my arms and extremities are still very lean and borderline translucent so
It just has thrown off my math a bit $

My frame is arguably as big as it’s ever been, but I definitely do not have as much mass
But I’m not that far away either
But I’m also still probably about 167 on the scale
I can probably stretch that to 170 with a proper carb load and some visits to pump city $

(Called it. 100% physic )

My workouts have been a bet on the hypertrophy side recently, but my calories have still been essentially in a net deficit $

Anyhow, that’s enough talk about me for right now, 
at least until I need to talk about me more later lol $

Maybe I’ll get some good philosophy flowing here in a few $

It is 5:43 PM and I am fighting another assault from stupidass bitchassness
…
..
.
Ass ass ass 
.
At least that’s still kind of funny $

I have to find a place to sneak into to charge my devices
And honestly, it’s the last thing I really wanna do $

“I just wanna lay here and do nothing and feel great about it” $$

(Famous last words right there)

This is getting so gross at this point that i would feel better in a sticky corner booth $$

So whatever
…
Jokes on me for even wanting a rest day
…
It alludes me once again $

Only demons attack you when they get mad at you for not listening to them
…
Or when you remind them of how fucking stupid and petty they are $$

I also keep forgetting this is my 1 yr off adderall lol
…
Add it to the other stack of time based philosophical challenges $

I am very proud of myself tho
Cuz a year ago I was sitting by a bush in my parents yard to steal their WiFi for my telehealth appointment cuz my phone was already cut off
…
I remember waiting to log on their stupid portal and then deciding I couldn’t do it anymore 
… 
So I flaked on my doctor apt and never went back $

(They still charged me $330 tho)

I know I was talking about going today physically,
 but it would seem as if I’m not quite out of the philosophical woods just yet $

If 2nd Jesus isn’t more toxically competitive than me, then he doesn’t even stand a chance against me with the service points $$$***

If that mfer waited till 33 to really start the service work, 
then there’s no way he’s earned more points than me, being in the secret service for 9.3 yrs since I was 17.76 yrs old
…
(That’s actually precise too) $

(Had to run the numbers lol
(June 7- March 15)

…
BEAT THAT SHIT BRO $$$

Only true philosopher patriots will understand $$

*Lighter flick $

It is now 7:54 PM
I have launched the counter attack on the bitchassness and negativity
…
I secured a pound of beef and a bag of potato chips after finishing up my brief shift at McDonald’s
…
I was able to charge up my devices and complete some more digital work that has been a thorn in my side.
I also finished my edits, which is a big deal
…
I also was able to pay the website renewal fee on time this time lol
…
Actually, technically, it was still like five days late, but they didn’t disable the website yet $

I’ve been home for an hour now, but I have officially taken that beef to the house if you know what I mean $

It is 8:58 PM
What a beautiful sunset after a sudden spicy storm ⛈️ $

I did more publishing, which is always a good thing
And I’m sure it pisses off some kind of entity somewhere
…
Both incarnated and disembodied $$

Most likely some blob of some kind of wasteful energy $$

I don’t know what’s worse,
To be a waste of energy with a body,
 or to be stuck in the void $$$

I guess you could argue either way $$

What a great day $$$

It is now 10:28 PM
Starting another cigarette
…
I will confess that I do not have pants on
…
I mean, I have on boxers
And it is pretty dark
And I am on my porch so I am justified
…
But I hope these new people down the street don’t decide now is a good time to make an introduction lol $

I spent a lot of time laying on the floor today
…
Pretty much most of the day to be honest
…
I think if you’re gonna have a lazy day, it’s better to lay on the ground than in bed or on the couch
…
There’s a posture / energetic / grounding thing involved but it’s also an easy way to be lazy without feeling as bad about it $$*

And it’ll get you accustomed to the trail or camping $$

Bonus points if you cut off your power for funzies lol $$**

That shit really will force you to subconsciously adjust to the elements
…
Which just gets you good at staying cool when it’s hot so you don’t sweat as much $$

Which is another confession~
Last year during the Adderall days and the family implosion days,
When I was working indoors at that recovery wellness center, 
I would be sweatier than normal because of the stress.
…
the Adderall cranked my nervous system to the next level and I would have to take salt tablets every couple hours to make sure I didn’t intellectually crash
…
Which caused me to stay in a pretty aggressive burn mode
…
Which meant I would sweat very easily
…
And when you’re cleaning saunas, that happens pretty quickly $

But now I am on the opposite side to where it can be 90° inside and I almost need a blanket $

And that’s another point honestly,
I think most people literally are afraid to sweat,
Or have avoided it for so long that once they start to panic or bug out or something $$

But from just pure adaptation perspective, your body should be able to sweat profusely just to get rid of toxins and other bullshit $$

I think there is very little we can do regarding all of the poison and plastics and everything besides getting good at filtering it out of our own bodies $$$

Another top-of-the-line way to defeat a demon is to simply be grateful for them
…
That kind of love only burns them and makes you stronger $$$***

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

7-8-26

78

Something about the thought of being lost at sea just sounds so peaceful $$

Knock on wood, though cause I’m not trying to go ghost anytime soon $$

Happy 2:59 AM
I might as well be a sleepwalking zombie 🧟 $$

*Lighter flick $

Might as well be a stoned zombie too then lol $$

I’m not gonna lie though,
The cannabis nowadays is so fucking strong that it’s almost not even cannabis anymore
…
I don’t know if this shit is actually 38% but it’s damn near close $

If a TV show is more exciting than your day-to-day existence, then it’s gonna be pretty easy to binge watch them $$

Don’t feel bad if you feel like the second coming of Christ if everybody else around you acting like the antichrist $$$

It is 401 & time for some cinnamon oatmeal $

…
It is 4:15 AM and time for a cigarette $

I’d argue that exercise is the superior art of them all
…
It is all about time,
It is also all about science,
Is also also all about humility,
Because if you don’t practice the right patience, you’re gonna become one in some crazy hacks office 
Prob in a fucking strip mall somewhere probably $$$

Kidding aside,
It’s not the same as learning how to play the guitar
…
You don’t have to wait three days to be able to practice the same notes again
…
You also don’t have to binge a bunch of eggs just to be able to survive the next practice session
…
You also don’t have to continue that day in & day out with slight modifications for the rest of your life $$$*

And you also don’t get to experience the absolute joy that is the feeling of being strong as fuck $$$

But I do think the guitar is still fucking amazing so not knocking that shit
…
Or painting $$

And yes, I’m aware that there’s a niche of crazy shit out there That is a mix of everything of course
…
I’m talking about the everyday philosophical work that is required just to maintain a good physique under a mountain of bitch ass bullshit lol $

And if you don’t maintain balance, even as a fit person, you’re just gonna end up becoming some kind of science experiment or looking like a gargoyle in your 50s $$$***

Random but just remembering how the first quarter after I started smoking weed again is when I sold the most houses 
…
Thanks for letting me share 😂 $$

(Back in ‘21) $

Happy 8:22 AM
On the way to pump city after a nice session $

Guaranteed 3x more people than you expect are easedropping at any moment in time $$*

The most powerful person is just whoever has the most accurate understanding of how long it takes to build or burn $$*

I know I give atheists a lot of shit,
But they’re not the ones responsible for the chaos in the Middle East…
…
Or 911 lol $$

I also will make it very clear that a good atheist is always better than a bad Christian
Or bad “whatever the fuck” $$$

I just like making fun of the idea of disbelieving in the most powerful, most beneficial, most important & most inspiring thing $$

(…
And most forgiving. Can’t forget the best part)

It is 4:32 PM
Time to deliver a cheeseburger after doing some video editing all afternoon $

Not always the best move to celebrate when someone dies
…
Except if they are a looksmaxxer $$***

I swear, just walking into the McDonald’s is harder than walking up a mountain in the heat $^^$$$

It is 6:10 PM
Had a nice little work montage for a little bit there $

Had somebody literally try to hit me with their car after the last delivery tho
…
So that jeopardized my faith in humanity for a little bit there $$

Hell is real
And you do not have to wait until you die to go there $$$***

Regarding the big stuff-
…
Atheists are either lazy 
or close minded
(or highly propagandized and distracted at best) $
…
Christians are either crazy or correct $$

You know, 
just one example of high strangeness has to be validated for the entire atheist Darwinian dipshit paradigm to completely fall apart? $$

I don’t even know where to begin with these fucks
…
Between the government admitting they’ve been studying this forever and lying about it,
And all of the new verified studies around consciousness and the paranormal,
And just everything you can find on the Internet in 31 sec for God sakes $$

So they think it’s all fake, 
or are just unaware of the information I guess? $$

Or I guess, of course they could simply be so delusional They just keep denying to look into it $$

Hard to blame them though 
because if they are too chickenshit to do that, then just imagine the consequences of their decisions that they’re too busy dealing with on a regular basis $$

(Just imagine the family dynamic of the Darwinian household…)

(Ironically, atheists hate when you grow and evolve the most)

(Okay, I’ll chill now. Back to edits) 

One of my toxic ADHD traits is not having the patience to wait for a couple days shipping
…
So I just avoid purchasing anything and go months without it instead $$*

If loneliness kills, then I would be dead by now
…
But I am living my best life, 
eating bowls of meat & blocks of cheese after another incredible workday of beating bitchassness at its own game $$**

It is 9:17 PM and I am finishing up an incredible bowl of beef and half a block of Parmesan cheese $

I learned my lesson last week as I legitimately felt drunk off the cheese, 
cause I ate so much
…
Not intoxicated either, this wasn’t fun. 
I was extra Sluggy and groggy, probably from digestion. $

I mean, I was like 1000 cal straight up lol so I had it coming $

This time we’re only looking at about 600 cal 
he he $

I think some people have already moved into my neighbor’s old house
So I’m gonna try to sneak an intro soon $

(Happy to report this was completed)

I will confess
…
Some may already know from previous notes that my first car, once I got into recovery, was a Prius C
…
It was technically my parents car that was basically mine full-time while I was at community college.
And I am very grateful for that Car, but man, I did 50,000 miles on it in less than two years
…
The Rehab made me drive everybody everywhere to and from meetings.
And then when I actually wasn’t in school, I was driving literally all over just cause I had nothing better to do and I genuinely couldn’t hang out in my hometown because of all the bad influences lol $$

But that car was not the coolest, I’m being honest.
And driving that thing to and from McDonald’s was quite humbling $$

But that’s not really my confession. 
I just felt that needed revisiting $

My confession is that by the end of that Cars life, I was rapidly saving up to buy a Acura RSX
…
Yes, the slightly more douche version of the Honda Civic $

I’ve actually saved up quite a bit of cash pretty quickly because I was also selling sneakers at the time $

I went from McDonald’s overnight to an online sneaker store pretty quickly and the cash was actually really good for about 18 months 
…
until everything imploded lol $

Then one night in June on the way home from the movie,
On my late friend’s birthday,
Some idiot ran a red light and t-boned me real good, spun me around like naughty teenagers with a bottle $

(lol wut)

It’s not an exaggeration to say it’s a miracle that I was unscathed.
Barely a bruise.
…
That car on the other hand, was completely totaled lol $

And I guess I’ve matured slightly in the process, or circumstances forced more humble necessity and I did not buy an RSX 
…
but I bought a very modest Civic coupe $

…
And I put a bunch of miles on that until I traded it in for Mercedes…
…
After I got a house in Ballantyne… $

And that is when the real douche phase began.
And that is another tangent for another time $

Lol, thanks for letting me share $






——
Pick a card
Click the move
Match the star
Collect the points

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

7-9-26

79

It is official
Today is officially muscles and movements national holiday $

Mostly because muscles has seven letters letters and movement at nine
…
Boom there’s part of the secret $

It’s good timing though
I’m finally finished with the resistance game training deck
Probably will be swapping out a couple videos here and there to make it as smooth as possible, but it is done
I am close to finally getting my life back lol 
…
Triple knock on wood and fingers crossed, though cause I am not taking any chances $

It is 2:30 AM now
Perfect time to polish off a cigarette $

My neck is a little fucked because I’m always staring straight up at the stars every time I smoke lol $$

Happy 5:18 AM $

Creativity is just setting an intention then turning your attention to something else before overthinking 
…
Which is why ADHD is a superpower lol $$*

Just had another record-breaking cinnamon bowl berry oatmeal $

If you don’t know,
Get the frozen berries,
Get your oats of choice,
(Highly recommend cinnamon and a shit load of sugar),
Combine the elements
And enjoy the flavorship through space $$

If you’re really looking for a biological trigger for motivation,
Don’t watch something inspiring
…
Watch something stressful
…
I promise you’ll get more physical energy that way $$$*

You know you’re swelling back up when your shirt sits higher on your shoulders lol $$

I’m dead ass
I’m wearing a flannel that I wore last week and it’s sitting at least a half inch higher because my shoulders and my traps are so swollen he he $

Even my chest is a little pumped
…
It is leg day by the way
And it is looking like a great one $

The best way to stay Young is just to let shit go $$$***

Dragons are real and everyone has one
…
It’s just 99.9% of people have misplaced theirs $$

Might have said this before but you can’t call yourself a true philosopher if you’ve never worked fast food $$$***

I will confess
The fact that one side of my hair is a lil longer than the other, helps keep me from taking shit so seriously 
…
Perks of using the kitchen sisscoers $$

…
Bro I forgot how to spell scissors ✂️ 
…
I had to use voice to text 😂 $

Fastest pathway to enlightenment is just getting addicted to some shit $$*

The ancients really understood that all you need to grow is some poison and some dirt $$$*

Needing to “look at something“ is different than needing to “ think about something“ $$

It is 11:40 AM
About 30 minutes after one of the world’s best leg workouts
It’s just in my world
…
Also halfway through a public sub $

I’ve done the math and I think I’m going to change up my dietary strategy back to what I used to do
…
basically just a sandwich after training and a bunch of meat for dinner $

Transitory phases are always the hardest
…
On 1/2 you’re dealing with bullshit from the previous phase,
Weather good or bad it’s still kind of old
…
And on the other half, you spend your time trying to learn something new which always requires nine times more energy than whatever you’ve already mastered
…
And obviously, because you are still new with whatever it is, you have very little in the emotional moral motivation bank to pull form during times of shit motivation $$

If your shorts are fitting more loose, and you don’t want them to,
just do a shit load of leg abductions for about three weeks and I guarantee you the glutes will fix that $$

Art allows you to retroactively go back and add additional meaning to the obscure days of your life
…
Basically time traveling for all of the important stuff that is $$

If you were to imprison somebody and torture them for years only to let them out under the condition that they work for the prison,
then you have to have some grace for the guards who don’t really know any better
…
But that also just makes it more important to continue to resist resistance because most of the people perpetuating it simply do not know what they are doing $$

it takes a lot of work and energy investment to construct a simulation to teach somebody what they need to learn to be spiritually fulfilled
…
And until they get done waiting in line for their opportunity, it is up to the rest of us to practice patience so we don’t end up like them $$$

If real life NPC‘s exist, I am willing to bet that at least 67% of everybody you see each day is one of them $$**

You cannot call yourself a true philosopher if your all-time best bench press does not begin with a 3 $$$***

If you smoke weed before you get to work every time, then your work might become dependent on it
…
But that’s only 1/2 of the coin isn’t it?
…
The other half is that every time you go to smoke, you’re gonna want to work
…
And I would argue that that approach statistically is going to net a lot more good than being an uptight Nazi about regulating every detail $$

You cannot call yourself a true philosopher if you are more afraid of being wrong than looking at the other side of things $$$*

I’m not gonna lie
I think I almost prefer my pre-roll smoking strategy at the current moment
…
Talked about it before, but for anybody unaware,
Most smoke shops sell pretty nice gram size pre-roll joints for about five dollars,
While they sell the individual flower grams for 10
…
The issue is that the flower these days is so strong and sticky that it’s almost impossible to break apart and it smokes like shit because it takes so much to burn
…
But the shake that they use in the pre-rolls is nearly as strong anyway, and is obviously already broken up
And cheaper as mentioned
…
So by buying a pre-roll and splitting it and smoking the guts, you can save some money and some hassle if you’re also in the starving artist phase lol $$

It doesn’t taste as good though I’ll admit that
And yes, part of the shake is stems
…
But I mean, if it’s still 33%, what difference does it make? $$

Everything I just said gets completely thrown out the window if you got the disposable cash though lol
…
In that case, you better be smoking some of the best highest quality flower that you can $$$

I will confess that the recent batch of 7-oh taste like dreadlocks
…
To be fair, it usually taste like dreadlocks… $$

If you don’t know what hair taste like then you must not be into ju jitsu lol $$

If you are afraid of other peoples sweat, you also must not be in ju-jitsu $$

If it’s easier to become more creative when options are limited,
So You know what that means??
…
..
.
Prison is really just art school lol $$

Ultimately,
All of my training is for one primary purpose~
To be able to handle bullshit with a better attitude $$

Life is just about delivering various ass whoppings,
But in a way that leaves people better for it $$*

I’d be willing to bet that 99% of people did not eat enough fiber on the best day of their life $$

…
& probably didn’t hit their other macros either.
My point is is that you can make “mistakes“ and everything will still be good $$

Average but important activities/skills to survive in the suburbs:
- Shaking a strangers hand
- Sitting still for an hour
- Picking up dinner without bitching
- Cleaning in a reasonable timeframe
- Moderate social media scrolling $$

For 3.25 years
All I did for nine hours a day was analyze how to say things in a certain way to convince people to do a certain thing
…
And then I would take this information and I would teach it to somebody else and watch it work
… $$

For 9.3 years all I did was go hang out in a church basement or suspicious back room somewhere,
Just To listen to the strangest strangers tell all sorts of tales of debauchery and Fuckery like their life depended on it, For at least 60 minutes at a time
At least seven times a week, but often much more $$

I have been main lining philosophy, doggy style, since I was 17.76 years old $$

that day, March 14, 2012, is when I began clown college
I am hoping to graduate by July 12, 2026
(14 years after my rehab graduation lol) $

…
Apparently, there are 5233 days between those days $$

The fact that my life was reduced down to either making a blog or killing myself, is evidence of spiritual warfare $$******

Ask anybody who knew me up until 2021 and I bet you even the most uptight atheist would soften up,
Because I was about as neutral as it came to all of this shit $

Gonna make a new T-shirt,
It’s just gonna say “poisoned since 94”
😂 $$$

It is 2:29 PM
I will confess that today’s leg workout was probably a little bit more on the strength endurance side than the hypertrophy side
And therefore, I am kind of a restless stressed
…
It’s really not that bad but a couple months ago it would’ve been enough to really fuck my whole day up, creatively speaking for sure $$

Did SARMS make me super strong?
Yes
…
Did they also make me a suburban science experiment?
Also, yes $$

(SARMS free since ‘23 for the record) $

I am the philosophical equivalent of Johnny Appleseed $$

If I am king of anything, it is of being wrong and it’s still being OK $$

Or by Judging someone as an asshole only to find out they’re really nice $$

I am fully aware that only the nosiest of Nancy’s and “wanna be” therapists are probably the ones reading most of my notes $$

I bet you it is a psychologist wet dream lol $$

I would argue that writing is far superior than therapy
…
Once you get over the actual muscle and movement portion, 
you’re gonna grow a lot more than getting somebody to confirm half your bullshit while being too gentle with the other half
…
Then when you go to read what you wrote, you can’t hold anyone else accountable
…
And the feeling that you get of the instantaneous feedback of your own intellectual vomit, will be enough to help you self edit in the future $$

Getting over something by yourself is always more beneficial in the long run than having somebody else help you too much $$$

Don’t take advice from those who have never been in the shit $$

But don’t take advice from anyone who is too traumatized either $$

Which I am well aware doesn’t leave many good sources of advice
…
So I am glad you are here lol $$

Take what you want with a shot salt 🧂 $$$

Can’t be the wisest in the entire world without being fucked over the most lol $$

Ironically
Pretending to be a different person, just reflects the reality of who you really are and what you want to say $$*

I will confess that I use an alternate tone whenever I record anything
It is my way of “verbally handwriting”
It is much faster, much more efficient than with a pen or chicken pecking letters with thumbs
…
But there is a psychological basis that it helps kind of switch into an altered state of mind,
Somewhat of a depersonalized state.
By using a voice that is “not mine“, it allows me to focus more on finding the more appropriate words $$

Meaning that whenever we need to express something, sometimes it is beneficial to use a different tone as a way of detachment $$

Don’t ask me how it works, that’s just science for you lol $$

“If your goal is to create something just to remind everybody else how stupid they were for not making it first,
 then that’s probably not gonna go well”
…
-me reminding me not to be a dick $$

I would argue that the majority of people who actually benefit from therapy are the same ones who would’ve benefited if they just found a way to express their thoughts out loud or on paper
…
Because I would also argue that the majority of therapy just breeds codependence and enabling and fosters those already trapped inside of an echo chamber of fear $$$

And At a certain point you have to confront the reality that you’re paying another person just to pretend to care
…
If you are not willing to face that reality then you will always put a glass ceiling on your own well-being $$$

If the response is that the therapist is more of a friend than a therapist,
 then I would remind you that you are simply wasting money $$

(Invite them to chill off the clock then & see how that goes)

Happy 4:28 PM
Guess what everybody
…
Remember, how last week was about to be a life-threatening heat wave over the fourth?
Well, now we’re getting a cold front that’s supposed to drop temperatures 10° below normal
So there’s that pendulum swinging for you again $

And also probably some failed bullshit CIA weather control operation shit. $$

Oh yeah, apparently there’s a wave of “explosive diarrhea” going around the country
…
I’m not kidding,
That’s just what the news articles that I’m seeing are saying $

I guess this is a good time to remind the world that majority of bacterial foodborne bullshit comes from the fruits and veggies department
…
Very rarely, will you get any kind of anything from properly prepared meat $$
 
But the wrong vegetable or spoiled grape will fuck anyone up $$$

That is nature’s way of limiting the vegans lol $$

Boredom is probably the most painful thing in all of existence
…
Mostly because people will literally cut and kill themselves if it gets too much $$

But usually it’s just family as the first thing bored mfers will sacrifice $$

If you’re getting hungry every three hours that does not mean your “metabolism is running high”,
That means you’re likely dependent on a carbohydrates
…
Or potentially dehydrated
…
Because if you were dependent on fats, you would actually just begin burning your own fat as long as you had enough electrolytes $$

Ironically, the key to eternal life is not acting like a child $$$***

It is remaining childlike though $$

I have never felt more alone in my life than when I was attending Christian school
Just saying $$

There is no bigger false suit of armor than money $$

Most people would probably die if you saw 80% of what they did when they thought nobody was looking
…
I think if we just simply get that down to 20%, then the world would be basically perfect $$$

And just because nobody was looking, doesn’t mean that nobody saw what was really going on $$

If you’ve ever written a Clickbait article, 
then your afterlife is just going to be you feeling the disappointment that you inflicted over and over again $$$

I mean, seriously just think about how much better Jesus would’ve done if he was just a little funnier… $$

The biggest argument against the church is how seriously they want to take everything
…
I mean, they are usually more serious than atheists when it comes down to ego righteousness $$$

Prob Better to believe in no God than to believe in one that wants you to go around killing all of your neighbors in the name of love $$

So I would argue that evolution designed a bizarre delusional adaptation
Because the truth is that even though they are right about the basics, 
the crazy religious types are the most dangerous and destructive
…
And perverted $$

So to prevent them from destroying everyone, many people evolve through the delusional stage that way they can learn more about consequences based on their own merit
…
And not on some gravitational boogie man $$

But if that viewpoint was taken to the extreme, then the population would simply end up dying out due to selfishness
…
Which would take longer, but it would be far more bitch ass
…
Kind of like what’s happening now… $$

Life is more so that you simply need time to outgrow your own bullshit & limiting learning capacity $$

Writing is the easy part,
Editing is always the true challenge $$

Most people are simply underdeveloped unsophisticated critics with poor taste $$$

Nothing reflects lack of development more than self-condemnation due to contempt prior to investigation $$$***

I ain’t gonna lie,
I would think some of this shit was written by somebody else too lol $$

But hey,
I have worn many hats & I have been through so much bullshit that it just squirts sideways mostly lol $$

I would say it at least 15% of what I’ve written has come while on the floor or ground
…
50% directly involves cannabis
…
33% has been in or going to or from the gym,
…
And whatever left has probably been random & usually when delivering someone’s pizza lol $$

If it’s super fucked up today, then at least it’ll be funny in about 30 years $$*

I bet you I used to talk a lot of shit in the past life about how gay playing with your imagination is
…
And then I incarnate as an only child in the suburbs during the war on drugs, and my imagination is all I have lol $$*

Fighting your own country is fucked up,
Fighting for your country is honorable,
Fighting your country when it is fucked up is the most honorable though $$$

For the amount of hours I have invested in it at this point, I feel it is only fair that I be considered a “professional ruminator” and am properly compensated $$$

…
Then again being a professional ruminator is just being a philosopher $$

“Yes I am very good at thinking in circles,
A professional actually” $$

If you love “something” then the best advice I have is to give it everything you got and let it eventually kill you
…
That is not the case if you love “someone” though lol $$$

“Do the bare minimum and treat it like you don’t care and they’ll be stuck with you forever”
…
At least that’s how people are behaving $$$

If you’re ever wondering if I’m in a caloric surplus, just see if my foot is shaking $$

As of 6:22 PM I think it is safe to say that I am in a surplus but little biologically stressed due to training intensity
I definitely sparked my nervous system a bit lol $

ADHD is hating on procrastinators while also being the best at it $$**

Lazy losers will never understand that God actually does talk directly to those who make it to the top of the pyramid $$***

I swear to god my arms have grown an inch in 1 week
…
Thank you carbs & creatine hehe $

(Not actual new growth for you amateurs- just swelling back up thanks to not starving) $

33% of all food service workers are actively intoxicated 
…
You can easily tell which ones too, 
it’s the always the top performers $$*

For most of my life, my major responsibility was managing who was and wasn’t actively doing drugs lol $$*

Also PSA
99% of all roofers are shady af
…
Like top of the line shady
…
They know most don’t know the right price for a roof,
So they just scare you into overpaying as much as they can $$$

Tis 7:51pm
Time to try to get dinner without hitting anyone or any other weird shit $

Most people’s self-defense strategy is just to get nicer $$$***

Politeness is not much protection against a pedophile or a predator $$$***

But AnyWho
It is 8:07 PM
Just finished a nice productive work block $

My recent strategy has been~
If I can pick up one nearby McDonald’s order, then I will deliver that and go back to the corner booth to charge up and kill time between the second nearby order
In which case I will then hit the grocery store on the way home
Usually, I’m able to get between $15-$20 on less than half a gallon.
And I’m able to restore my batteries, kick it with the ratchets, and get enough money for dinner $$

It will double my food cost but if I just get a big sandwich and a pound of beef then I will not only have extra calories, but have extra convenience
…
And with no refrigeration solution at the moment, that is a pretty big deal $

And maybe it’s shitty to admit
But the extra $200 that I would be spending on power, I can better put towards food $

It’s been a little over three weeks since power was officially cut
…
I can say I am pretty comfortable with no AC.
Sleep is pretty much back to normal despite the increased heat and stuffiness $

I swear just developing this adaptation alone is worth all of the ridiculousness $

I am now extra resilient to sweating over bullshit or over minor inconvenient delays $$

Might not sound like much but go ahead and go get a hot car for an hour
…
With no definite start and stop time
…
And your only break is to go deal with disrespectful employees who rejoice when the food is behind $

I think heaven is just everybody sitting around sharing stories about earth $$

Be wise,
Be patient,
Be ancient $$$

Everybody walks around with trillions upon trillions of little bacteria,
The issue is that is all most people are brining to the table these days $$

I guarantee most people wouldn’t be so confused about the God shit if they actually helped more people
…
You don’t even actually have to help people
…
You just have to try to not think about yourself through action $$

Lol, right when I said that the leg on my chair nearly gave out $

I am eating some beef as of 9:10 PM $

…
The pound of beef is now gone
And half the berries
…
It was so fucking good
I don’t know how it keeps getting better.
Must be magic $

Did you know that if you were to graph amount of skeptics and amount of sour pusses, 
you would see an astonishing correlation? $$**

You can add “emotionally imbalanced” to that as well $$

…
And impatient $$

…
And gay $$

….
And not the good kind of gay either $$

Most often, Calling someone gay was the go to dig in elementary school,
before sexual orientation developed.
…
Therefore, I argue that gay originally was a playful insult before it became a “slur“
Because it was being used before sex was even thought of $$

And if these people grew up to be gay then ironically they shouldn’t be so butt hurt whenever somebody uses it as a joke.. $$

(If you think I’m trying to say that being real life gay is actually bad,
then that speaks to your philosophical gayness for taking shit the wrong way)
 

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

7-10-26

710

I don’t care what anyone says,
Today is special
…
Today is great
…
Today is going to be one of the greatest days of your life $$$

Happy 2:36 AM $$$

*Lighter flick $

ADHD gives you a 25% comedy bonus with pretty much anything
…
And also gives you a 25% bullshit bonus in which emotional fulfillment is withheld $$

Do not be alarmed by that last line.
I am well currently lol $

It is just that time of night in which I have no idea what’s gonna come up $$

I am watching white people wander around the desert though
…
“Better call Saul“ is highly underrated $$

I just can’t understand how the pale people survive out west
…
I’m sure sunscreen is involved
But at a certain point, I just don’t understand why you would want to lube yourself with a poison just to not fry $$

At least in the south, we have shade $

(Physical & philosophical)

People have begun to really figure out that North Carolina is one of the greatest states
…
Between the mountains and the beach and the moderates in between, it really is an amazing place to be $$

It is a melting pot within a melting pot
It is a place full of transplants
…
Strangers, far from home who will quickly remind you where they are from
…
Especially with anything relating to football $$

It has been growing incredibly quickly, especially over the last five years.
…
Everything exploded during Covid
I was on the front lines with all of those fleeing the Fuckery from out west
…
A day didn’t pass in which I wasn’t showing a house to a nervous northerner or crazy Californian $$

On that note, I would argue that real estate is one of the most comfortable jobs in the entire world $$

And there’s a little category of that called “new construction“
…
And if the sales representatives in the front office don’t try to snake you out of your sale, these are the easiest paychecks of all time to ever earn $$

There have been multiple homes that I have sold that I never saw & I never had to $$

…
And I would gladly give that up again in a heartbeat to repeat the insanity of working in warehouse / garage gyms for 4 years lol $$

I would gladly eat another thousand eggs
…
I would even deliver another thousand pizzas if it meant keeping the peace and pride that I now have $$

If you could spend a year focusing as aggressively as you good on yourself,
 I think that would become the most valuable experience of your life $$*

Tackling all of those tough tendencies,
…
No area too small , 
no task out of reach,
No excuses,
Nobody else to distract you $$

I won’t lie,
It can be excruciating. 
…
Anything in isolation is nine times harder than with even a single person to help $$

the more uncertain that things are, the faster you will outgrow your own bullshit $$***

And that will save you untold amount of time and money afterwards lol $$

I also believe that the only way to actually survive a year fully alone without sliding into some slimy habit is to have some form of a creative task or mission that requires sacrifice and unbelievable focus to even have a chance $$*

Regardless of the outcome of the project, it’s not long into the journey until it becomes clear that the real project is yourself
…
And there is no way to fail as long as you show up with an open mind and a little bit more willingness than last time $$*

1% better per day and you’ll be 3 & 1/2 times greater within a year $$$^*

I just feel like I owe the world my cinnamon berry oatmeal
…
I say the same about scrambled eggs, but the oatmeal sounds sexier
…
I know everybody thinks I’m just kidding when I say that this is the best bowl ever
And that’s their loss $$

I know I talk a lot about balance,
And I also know I talk a lot about how secretly righteous I was in my entire life by being sequestered in a secret society at a young age for recovery and healing sake
…
Which is why I am more and more suspicious each day that I am going to have to start trolling on a global scale $$

If I spent the first of my life in the shadows in quiet anonymity, 
I must be prepared for the pendulum $

The goal is by keeping a notepad such as this going that proves to the world just however average I really am $$

(And just how happy joyous, and grateful I really am) $$

Because if I am the most average,
Then that is still being the best of something lol $$

And that is all my ego needs
…
Just for today 😂 $

It is 3:29 AM and I am enjoying a lovely smoke after that amazing bowl 
after a couple other amazing bowls, if you catch my drift $

I don’t know if it’s healthy to feel this healthy lol
…
I seriously think I’m about to break back into the 170s and I must be around 7% $

The ironic kicker though is, 
I do think that the last three months in which I was on Adderall and I was still training, that it basically tricked to my nervous system to develop an entirely different gear
…
It came at a heavy cost and is part of the reason why I pretty much completely broke down biologically last year
…
Hard to describe here and that is actually a good plug for a science tangent $

It was just hard to accept that the recovery from was going to take at least 9 to 12 months
Which is exactly where I’m at now
…
But it wasn’t about rebuilding muscle,
I had to rebuild my entire metabolic engine
…
On top of soul crushing stress…
Which had eroded my emotional processing engine lol
…
So that just demanded lots of writing, lots of mild activist level workouts, and lots of laying on the floor or staring at walls $

The fact that my bedroom smells like the cabin on a ship is just more evidence of high strangeness $

It makes sense that people are really into zombie movies, considering how they enjoy sleepwalking through their lives $$*

There is a distinct pattern of Fuckery that happens about every 84 years,
I would argue many of those that faught in World War II probably fought the Civil War in the previous life,
And the revolution and the one before that $$

The goal isn’t to actually be “a Jesus”
…,
It’s just to make people say his name when you pop the shirt 😏 $$

Modern day warfare is charging your vacuum in your car because the fuck sticks don’t want you to have power
…
I mean literally $$

SuicideBoyz basically guarantees a dirty PR
If you need one lol $$**

I’d argue that the dark side is always more powerful than the light
…
Only because the dark side is allowed to use any means while the light is restricted to very strict guidelines $$

But I would argue that the dark vs the light side are the most confused
…
I would argue that the dark is the true Devine playground, We’re all possibilities exist. $$

The light is the overly strict blueprint that is quick to condemn anything that doesn’t go according to plan $$

The dark is a compilation of all other colors,
While the light is restrictive and discriminatory $$

I would also argue that the dark proceeds the light,
Otherwise, there would be no substrate for the light to exist $$

But the dark is not the same as evil
…
Only idiots look at the dark and see evil
…
But the experienced see the wisdom in the power of not needing to have to be anything
…
& instead can bring out the greatness of all the other colors $$

…
The light usually dilutes shit and makes it hard to read ironically $$

It is 11:11 AM
Happy to report a very balanced and reasonable isometric functional recovery day
…
Basically, is just when you put on dance music and do isometrics lol $

Wisdom without work is just a guess $$$***

You cannot call yourself a true philosopher if you’ve never worked in a call center $$$*

You cannot even begin to think that you are a philosopher if you’ve never worked sales $$$$$$$$$$

Retail is not sales
…
And if you think so, 
that qualifies you for philosopher probation for at least nine years $$$***

Whenever somebody claims that there cannot be hidden technology because it would’ve been utilized during a war or some shit by now,
That just exposes their naïve lack of experience dealing with large groups of people
…
There will always going to be smaller sub group and sub sec of secret groups of people within these larger ones who will sell their own team down the river before they give up their juicy secrets $$$

So for example,
When the Nazis started getting fucked up,
The actual decision makers simply offered up lower hanging fruit as a distraction while they made their getaway in their super advanced technology
…
Because at a certain point, it is better just to wipe this slate clean and run off into the woods to reset then it is to Try to get some people to understand. $$$

Magic is the most understood thing in existence
Wonder why? $$

It is 2:29 PM
Just stopping by to say “bitchassNess beware” $

Do you know that strange lame feeling of existential dread whenever you have to clean up your room?
…
Or a big mess that you know you made that you’d rather just avoid doing forever?
…
..
.
Every time you force some kind of ethereal evil fuck wad to confront the reality of their own bitch assNess by laughing and not engaging,
 you essentially force them to confront that same feeling on a much larger spiritual scale $$$

Imagine being a delusional dick and picking a fight with an actual bad ass and instantaneously and overwhelmingly getting your ass beat
…
And imagine this occurring in front of all of your evil stupid friends who are going to take the opportunity to make fun of you for failing, 
even though they put you up to the task
…
This is what happens when you thwart some demonic dip shit $$$*

In the invisible spirit realm, There is no luxury of plausible deniability around karma and retribution and justice.
…
All evil knows the requirements to repent, & It is a long list of really difficult trials and tribulations of experiencing the opposite side of your karma
…
Which makes it easier to kick their philosophical resentment can down throughout lifetimes just out of fear of the discomfort of making things right $$

And just to reiterate,
Every time you bring awareness to this fact and declare your constructive intention towards some evil fuck wad, 
it just forces them to reflect on the reality of their own patheticness $$$

If you think talking shit and cursing a loving God makes you feel better and makes you feel tough,
Try the same technique with a righteous sense on the negative energetic orbs that have it coming and watch how much energy you get back $$$

I’d call it being a “spiritual warrior” if it didn’t sound so gay lol $$

Right now, I’m just angry at how much greenery is around that you can’t even eat
…
all the trees that you see could be fruit bearing,
Or at least we could diversify some shit to where we didn’t have to eat poison for lunch every day $$

Agriculture is also not quite as beneficial as it seems
…
Unless you’re talking about fostering a good environment for sheep 🐑 $$***

Here’s a secret,
The easiest way to destroy me, 
is probably just to give me everything I think I want in instantaneously $$*

Most days of my life have simply been an emotional endurance race lol $$

Maybe I should envy those ethereal evil demons,
because they get to watch your boy shine from the best seat in existence $$$*

Meanwhile, when I look upon them, I have to remember to reflect their own heinousness, and that is never a fun sight to see $$

Even if you’re on the spoiled kid timeline, that probably means that you did some good shit in the past life $$

There’s a lot of really good people who have a lot of privileges that are not “absolutely” corrupted by them 
…
But They def don’t have as good stories as the degenerates $$

Let’s hope my vacuum charged up enough in my car by 2:59 PM lol $

If you’re an atheist, but you still are able to laugh at yourself,
 and you are a genuinely good person,
and you care about your community,
…
Then I would argue that you’re not an actual atheist because you clearly believe in something bigger $$$***

“Can a cat keep a grown man from losing his shit?”
-CIA in 2023 $$

My greatest ability is being able to say “I don’t know” and getting back to work 
…
instead of trading my family or future away out of fear to find out $$*

Imagine finding out that you used to be some kind of knight in a previous life,
Some kind of guardian of the reincarnation cycle
…
Now imagine that some baby back bitch discovered this as well, 
and realized that if they poison children, physically and philosophically, that they could eventually sequester that all knowledge and resources and control everything
…
And never get clowned on for being a bitch again $$$

So they declared a secret war and began poisoning all threats once they incarnated
…
Probably be via vaccines
…
Of course, they couldn’t target everybody without the masses becoming too suspicious $$$

But imagine finding out that people have known that your existence was forecasted and fortold, 
and they deliberately tracked your lineage and sabotaged anyone they could in your family tree as a way of carpet bombing the Threat out of existence $$$

Because I guarantee you on some level, all of this disclosure shit involves something like this
…
Regardless, if aliens are involved or not lol $$$

Which at this point I’m willing to bet their most likely CIA constructs
…
And that there’s just extraterrestrial humans
…
Or orbs lol $$

It is better to feel like shit than to be a piece of one $$***

Once these evil fuck sticks die, 
and do a form of a life review, 
they will be forced to confront the reality of their own fake existence
…
The pain they inflicted will pass and turn into strength for those affected
…
But the pain from the reality of knowing that they are lower than worthless, is in escapable for them $$

Once again, why they have to keep raising the stakes to distract themselves $$

(They like to kill time by Trolling the emotionally compromised)

Comfort kills more than war $$$***

Apparently, the storm that just rolled in knocked out bunch of power
…
Never would’ve noticed if it wasn’t from the news articles lol $

Reincarnating in the most selfish self-centered generation that only likes to brag on social media about hollow accomplishments,
 sounds like a proper hell to A overly honorable Navy Lieutenant lol $$*

(Or crazy green beret)

The overly nice disingenuous types are the worst of the worst
…
They waste everybody’s time
…
None more than their own though
…
They bring shame to service work because they cloud it with false and selfish intentions $$$

Can’t wait till my 31st year life review
…
Where it’s just setting delivery records & talking shit with a smile 😀 $

I do not want to be famous,
But I do want to be well-known
…
And I’ll admit that is a very fine line $$

ADHD is just imbalanced depression $$*

I know I said earlier that comfort is worse than war,
And I just wanna double down on that
…
At least with war, your death is going to be accelerated.
And let’s not overlook the honor that you get in the afterlife, assuming that you are not an asshat
…
But comfort just delays and turns everything into a slow simmering form of suffering
…
It eliminates all excitement and all honor because of the elimination of hardship
…
Boredom takes over and begins to grow and faster bitchassNess of untold proportions $$$*

…
And the irony is that even if you are living in maximum comfort, you’re gonna still find things to fight back against.
…
They are just gonna become consistently more internalized until eventually you are condemning yourself $$

And then the final step is when your actual biology betrays you and your body commits a slow form of suicide via metabolic disease $$$

All the while, these comfort addicts will go to their graves blaming those who went off to fight $$$**

The final challenge to becoming “a Jesus” is to not react negatively when stuck in a long line $$

I have officially alchemized the worst part of doordashing
Now, when the food is late, it works to my advantage $

You can’t fight unless you can whoop someone’s ass without actually putting them in the hospital $$$***

I can promise you that there’s not a human being alive that is immune to a proper rear-naked choke $$

Back to the whole comfort being worse than war analogy,
I mean, there’s a reason why soldiers are better than retirees $$

(The worst is retired soldiers tho ngl)

Thinking that you can think your way out of a problem just reinforces that you clearly are not thinking properly $$$***

Sometimes the hardest thing is just remembering that because others are wrong, that does not make me right
…
But it does make me write , lol $$*

Most would rather cut themselves open or compromise their moral fiber with a pharmaceutical than simply deal with a calorie deficit $$$***

The first ones to blame genetics and biology are the last ones to actually recover $$***

Forgetting that I benefit when you benefit, is manufactured delusion at its finest $$$***

It is 7:32 PM
I am currently grappling with the Carb monsters sneaky, secretive, older brother
…
This guy does not arrive in the form of hunger cravings,
He just wants violence and to make people eat their own shit lol
…
So consider this a trigger warning for the rest or whatever is written… $

But AnyWho, here we go $

Drinking more than once a week is one of the largest red flags there is $$$

And the fact that most people will be like “only once a week !!!” just proves my point
…
I’m not talking about the social element of alcohol,
There is an undeniable biological factor that is always overlooked
…
The impact that it has on your body is not worth it $$$

Only those who are, respectfully, already diluted & dumbed down will find it worth it
…
I mean that literally
 because if you were actually completely healthy, then you would feel worse shortly after drinking $$$

So if you find that it adds value to your life on a regular basis
…
I’m not saying you’re on your way to alcoholism
….
I’m just saying you sound like a fucking loser $$$

(G’damn lol. 
Usually I’d remove this shit but I’m growing old of restraining the dragon.
Guess I’m back to selling sneakers )

If you’re drinking because you were already in pain, 
then I will politely suggest investigating other herbal supplements if you’re seeking medicine $$$

If you’re drinking that often because you just “love it“ that much, then you just sound like a pretty cringe person who wouldn’t understand sophistication even if it was in your cup instead $$$

If you’re drinking that often because you have friends and that is just “what you do”,
…
then I will kindly reiterate that you and your friends sound like losers $$$

I didn’t say “boring”
…
And I didn’t say “bad people”
…
I said “losers”
…
 as then you were losing time and energy 
…
and being clowned on by the alcohol industry $$$

And the only people who will cosign your behavior are just as sick and annoying as you $$

If any of this is a surprise to you, then I have really bad news for you as well… $$

But if you’ve been suspicious of this for a while now, and are just simply two chickenshit to make a change,
 then I don’t know what to tell you $$$

(Except humble yourself and go to a f*cking meeting)

Maybe stop reading this and do do something that you’re afraid of and stop being such a pussy $$$

And if anybody wants to try to flip the script and talk about cannabis,
Then I am happy to do so as long as you go ahead and start looking into the statistics
…
I’ll make it easy for you. Here are our topics of debate~
- Historical use 
- Legalization history 
- Driving implications
- Related Incarcerations
- Heart disease 
- Cancer
- Profit 
- BMI
- Addiction intensity, and frequency
- Health benefits
$$$

It’s bittersweet
But as long as I am triggered, I never have to worry about writers block 😂 $$**

It is 11:54 PM
I am super stoned and a little paranoid lol
…
So I’m writing this note after praying a little bit $

…
I’ve been talking a lot of shit so just to double down, 
BitchassNess beware $$

Gonna try to sleep now
Catch you on the flipside 
…
✌🏻 $

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

7-11-26

711

Happy national gas station day $$$

Or like that weird teenage game when they lock you in a closet with a stranger
And you gotta get all Kissy Kissy
… 
😘 $

*Lighter flick $

… $

*Lighter flick $

Happy 4:20 AM $$

I am not afraid to admit that part of the reason why I now have a blog is because of how I was forced to self censor in my last relationship $$

Sure, that might’ve ended nearly 18 months ago
And I may have been in some kind of crazy creative desert/wilderness since then that has absolutely nothing to do with it…
But that shouldn’t stop another revelation now should it $

But I’m not exaggerating when I say that I couldn’t talk about shit without those around me losing their minds $

Like a relationship ookie,
You gotta have good sparring partners if you really wanna grow $$

How much would you pay to be able to manage sweating in public better?
…
You know, let’s say you’re out on the town and you get stuck out in the heat a little too long or the AC at the bar is broken and you’re not trying to mess up some new clothes?
…
Well, I’ve got good news for you
You can improve that significantly and you don’t need to pay anything!
…
In fact, this technique will save you money
…
..
.
Just go ahead and get on the phone and cancel your electricity and power lol
…
Give it three weeks and I promise you that you will become so proficient with managing your body temperature and not overheating, that you might not even need deodorant $$$*

It is time for some cinnamon oatmeal
I don’t think I logged the massive pound of beef I had last night
…
And the whole thing of berries
…
Full on bear mode $

I really think that some people would do better in a tent in a field than an a bed in a hospital
…
I really think hospitals do far more harm than good $$$***

If anything, the hospital is like the gym for your nervous system
…
It is a challenge because it is also a cluster of all the local pathogens $$

You’re far more likely to leave with some kind of chemical dependency and a bill that you can’t pay $$$

Your body is given additional threats once it steps through those doors, which if anything may convince it to work hard harder $$

Simply the doctor fucking up under our current fucked up protocol is one of the leading causes of death
…
“Medical malpractice“ $$$*

Waiting for food to cool down is harder than dealing with the burns $$*

I will confess I am back down to my big ass grill lighter because my other one has bit the dust $

*Obnoxious lighter flick $

I wonder what the new neighbors are gonna think when they see a random redhead streaking by them in the morning $

Not in the nude, but I will be doing my sprints $$

Some people, all they have is a big bag of “should’ve could’ve would’ve’s” $$***

I talk a lot of smack
But I really don’t give a shit about moving anything with my mind as long as I have the freedom to continue doing it with my body $$$***

Bozo the Clown is one hell of an artist
Gotta admit $$

Even Disney music can split your spiritual wig with the right shroom $$***

Funny how big dudes don’t like playing with small balls
…
You’d think they would like the resemblance $$

Life is just a game of compilation experimentation $$*

As long as you have reason to believe that somebody is watching you, then that qualifies for a performance
…
In which case, you gain the performance energy bonus,
Which is an extra 33% $$

Maybe I got something wrong,
Maybe those who have been imprisoned themselves in their own apartments are not as miserable as I speculate they are
…
Seeing as the most painful thing is missed opportunities, 
maybe it’s best to assume that these people are just simply not even given many opportunities because they just convert them into a complaining competition $$$

Pity parties are just complaining compilations $$*

The greatest coach is the greatest alchemist
…
Because there is nothing more powerful than helping somebody transform into a diamond from a gram of dirt $$$

True equality only exists at the top of the pyramid $$***

pretending that you are entitled To equity is the most effective way to stay at the bottom of a hierarchy $$$***

If you knew karmic decision making reincarnation for a fact,
Then you would value animals more than people 
…
As they likely didn’t have much choice in their situation and they’re probably there because they care about you and how you can use them to grow $$

Imagine starting a social media company and pretending that you’re not negatively impacting the youth $$$$$$$$$$$$$$*******

The alchemist year of your life begins once you’re handed a pile of shit and you have to reconvert it $$

Waiting in a long line counts as zone 2 cardio $$$***

Observations are not the same as judgements
…
If simply hearing an objective observation is triggering, then idk what else to tell you $$

Sometimes stacking the unfavorable observations can be a little judgey tho $$

Best way to annoy a neurotic is just to ignore them $$***

Happy 12:43 PM from the Publix parking lot
…
I was beginning to crash so I went to go get a sandwich and then perhaps hang out at the library for a few and charge up $

I am most proud of the fact that I just waited 20 minutes in line in a public grocery store on a Saturday afternoon without really even bitching or becoming too judgey $

Do you think anyone’s gonna believe me when I say that there’s a treasure map on the back of the Declaration of Independence? $$

words are basically verbal bullets against the bitchassNess
…
But unlike a bullet which becomes obsolete after it impacts something, words continue to magnify whatever wound was initially perceived $$

And if you count all of my rambles in all of those basements
Or conference rooms,
Or telephone calls,
Or online dating chat rooms,
Then I guarantee you I am one of the most deadly philosophers of all time (to evil baby back entities ) $$

All right, here’s some shit
Some of which I’ve said before, some I just discovered through Google lol
…
My dad’s dad was a green beret with the 77th airborne special forces who died at age 39 suddenly
He also worked in the oil fields in Louisiana and Alaska
He was born on September 19 in 74,
…
Which is also the day that my maternal grandfather died… (11yrs prior)
…
I am not exaggerating when I say that I feel like an old captain that is constantly wrangling with an extremely talented but wild younger soldier $

Apparently, the 77th airborne did a lot of crazy shit in Vietnam and Laos $

They were also the first to wear the iconic green beret $

The fact that these motherfuckers main job was to go sneak into a place and train people
…
..
.
I MEAN, COME On $

I feel like the family spirits are just yelling at me $

It is 2:36 PM
These words are gonna initially appear in significant
But I am ready to officially determine that I am both my mom’s dad and my dad’s dad squished into one ass hat lol $

I won’t go into it now, but my evidence is the deep intuitive knowingness that I feel when reflecting upon it
Karma wise is it fits perfect
My bizarre and strange obsession with some historical things and anything related to warfare
And drinking and drugging…
I’m not exaggerating when I say that there are at least nine different areas that are best explained by this
…
The other leading alternative theory has me as some form of a victim, no matter how else I slice it
…
Because if I am a random spirit plopped into this biological vessel that has very little dopamine and family, 
then that would just seem kind of fucked up
…
And there’s no way I am that righteous to have chosen freely to sacrifice 32 years of my life in quite obscurity 
…
I would, however, gladly take that deal based on certain conditions, such as making things right within my family and repairing things long-term, for when they inevitably reincarnate in the same tree 🌲 $$

I mean, one spirit is “super buttoned up, by the book intellectual type” obsessed with the sea,
…
The other is a wild, unconventional, creative type obsessed with the woods
…
Both were alcoholics lol $$

What’s crazy is that there is a real chance They knew each other too.
…
Cause my maternal grandfather taught flying in the naval air core during and after World War II, I think at least until the mid 50s
…
The 77th airborne special forces were activated in 1953
And I imagine when you’re talking airborne training, that you probably end up running into an old Lancaster $

I contribute the Lancaster with the “know it all” ego
…
I contribute the François with the “fuck around and find out“ artistic attitude $

It’s the Only explanation for wanting to do everything the unconventional way,
But also being tortured by my own process and perfectionism lol $$

Also, what is crazy-
I sold my dads moms old house back in 2019
…
My whole side of the family lived on that unique piece of property all the way back into the 50s (I think)
…
Super fucking weird lol $

I guess you can’t be forever young if you act like an old coot and hold on to shit for too long $$$***

There’s a big difference between drowning and digging your own grave where they feel oddly similar $$

DUDDEEEE 
my favorite movie of all time is available for free on Amazon prime again suddenly
…
Just like last year when it pretty much fucked my whole life up and sent me down another rabbit hole with this whole reincarnation shit
…
“The master” $

FDA approval just means “Satan‘s recommendation” $$$*********

Listening to James Taylor has a +5 smooth bonus but a -5 speed cost
…
But that doesn’t matter because slow is smooth, & smooth is fast $$*

Just stopping by to say that I bet you spiritually speaking, my cat is worth more than most people
…
And just about any politician $$

The same can be said about most pets
And I will work until the day they receive the dignity they deserve $$

(Let’s fight about it)

Happy 7:24 PM
Dealing with another massive wave of a bitch assNess
Just feel like death
…
It’s hard when you feel bad for feeling bad
…
Sounds like you’re doing something wrong to yourself. 
There’s nothing you can do to change it 
except wait And continue to marinate in the numbing heat 
…
I know it’ll pass,
Maybe it’s a counter-attack from all my shit talk
…
Maybe it’s just natural rise and fall of the dopamine waves 
…
I don’t care
I don’t care about anything at all
It’s hard to even move an arm just to keep the hair out of my eyes
.:.
At this point, these fucking up-and-down rodeos have gotten so old that I don’t really even care about trying to care
…
I know it will pass
I know I just have to wait
…
I know it is just for content and for contrast $

I know sometimes it’ll vanish instantaneously if I come to the right realization
..
Or if I just get the right buzz $

…
..
.
*activates DoorDash $

I guess delivering cheeseburgers is still better than having a pity party $$

So suck on that stupid evil demons lol $$$

I am not kidding when I say that there are news articles about a “fireball that is not a meteor flying over North Carolina” $

I could spell out the synchronicity for you in case you haven’t noticed
But that’s kind of what I’m already doing lol $

The study of art is really just a study of psychology if you do it right $$

I know I was talking shit about it yesterday, but I’m going to force myself to take a shot or two as of 8:18 PM $

Ironically, I think alcohol is only best if you are basically forced to drink it
…
I do think alcohol has this place in our culture,
It is just not at the top of the entertainment pyramid $$

Don’t take advice from anyone still trapped behind their own writers block $$$

You know, I bet you if you ran the math,
That everybody living today deserves a “dealing with bullshit bonus“
Even if they’re not on the winning team right now 
…
We live in the most annoying, most treacherous, most deceiving, most populated and crowded time of them all.
…
The quantity and quality of other people’s bullshit that we are forced to address on a daily basis is not natural
…
Back then, when people lived miles from each other and were fully self-sufficient, they only gathered for fun or important things.
They did not roll out of bed in their PJs to go cut people off at the gas station
…
You did not interact with that many complete idiots because nature was very quick to handle things the Darwinian way
…
Even though everybody was a diehard Christian..
And I mean that literally
…
You kept to your family and your farm animals and you met Fuckery with a musket before it even made it to your front door $$$*

Life was hard and difficult in other ways, which is why everybody was so willing to sacrifice their life for the greater good
…
Part of it was faith, part of it was to escape farm work $$

But that kind of plays into my point that these people had it much easier
…
Often people try to claim it was the other way around
…
How many resentments do you have towards a cow or a sheep? $$$

…
It doesn’t take long to learn the chores and if you’re doing them from the time you can walk, I guarantee that you will not find them that draining because you would’ve adapted before you even developed an ego $$$

I think the other problem would’ve been just spending too much time around the same people
…
But I would still argue that is easier to manage than having strangers Try to emotionally steal from you every 20 minutes. $$

…
I mean back then, whenever you sent a risky letter, you had at least three months to relax in the meantime
…
Nowadays, you got about 30 seconds before you reap the karma of your last text message $$*

And don’t even get me started when it comes down to avoiding temptation
…
People back then couldn’t even stay away from the super gross whorehouse in every town,
Despite getting syphilis and a guaranteed dose of fire and brimstone from the evangelicals 
…
Bush and sweat and all, they did not care
…
They were penetrating and plowing more than just their fields $$*

None of them could’ve handled a smart phone morally
…
Every last one of them would’ve gotten captured by DoorDash or Tinder or Facebook $$********

Their Victorian values and cringe sense of art would be no match for the rise of an AI demigod $$

I think any founding father would legitimately shit a brick If you plopped them into a crowd of 100,000 people at one time.
…
Put them in a stadium with a football in the middle and I guarantee they would be melting $$^***

Vodka for dinner is one of the most ancient TQs of all time $$

Did you know that pretty much every ancient culture everywhere came up with a flood myth originally all by themselves? $$

Please do not take a GLP one unless you are truly desperate and are running out of hope
…
I guarantee for everybody, it is going to create some downstream problems. 
It’s just a matter if it’s worth the trade-off or not.
…
If you’re just a little skinny fat and lazy, then you’re asking for some serious shit
…
And honestly, you deserve it if you’re willing to do that instead of just go exercise and learn about movement and metabolism $$$*****

I can pretty much guarantee that anybody who claims to be an alcoholic from the first drink, was probably one in a past life $$

I think it’s important to remember that just about two out of three people genuinely fit the criteria for alcoholism up until 1950-ish probably $$

(Now it’s bout half that which is good progress)

It is 9:33 PM and login some eggs for the first time in a few days
…
Definitely not complaining, but I wasn’t about to buy ground beef again after 3 straight nights $










——-
Fred Quinn wakes up on the destroyer





12- achy - act
——-
13- ama
14- ath
15- art
——-
16- adp | act
17- alchy | ama
18- ama | ath
19- ath | art
20- art | achy
——
20-21- adpt | act
21-22- alchy | ama
22-23 ama | ath
23-24 ath | art
24-25 art | adpt
25-26 adpt. | achy
——
26-27- act



= athlete

9-10: start of fuck shit
10-11

11-12: act
12-13: ama
13-14: ath
14-15: Art 
Killed
15-16: adept


16-17: act
17-18: amateur 
18-19: athlete 
19-20: artist
Killed
20-21: adept
Alchy

21-22- act
22-23- ama
23-24- ath
24-25- art
Killed
25-26- adpt
——

26-27- achly / act
= alchy





$$

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

7-12-26

712

Watch out world
We got another crazy anniversary today
…
Do you know what it is? $

If you guessed it is the 14 year anniversary of when yours truly graduated intensive outpatient rehab, 
then you would be correct $

I’m not sure what happens next lol $

I know 14 years is significant as it relates to alchemy.
And when you consider who I used to be versus who I am now, during that stretch of time, nobody would argue against magic $$

I think atheists would be more comfortable with admitting magic is real if they understood that it took a dozen plus years just to even begin to scratch the surface for real for real $$$

I also think those who envision Harry Potter shit Anytime someone says “magic” are missing the big picture $$$

Magic is just a way of influencing probabilities Against various levels of resistance $$

The good shit is governed by the Devine and AAA $$

(angels, ancients and aliens for any new activist reading this
…
“Philosophical roadside assistance”, if you will) $

Therefore, it’s not about running around
Or rather floating around on a broomstick
🧹 
…
It’s about alignment with ones highest and best use with country and community $$$

You don’t need to study many patterns before you start realizing that reincarnation is the best bet for all the lower level spiritual lifeforms $$

Which makes country synonymous with spirit,
 because you’re probably gonna keep coming back to the same plot of land, unless some shit really deserves to change $$

Imagine the peace that comes from knowing that death is really is the equivalent of a good night sleep 🛌 $$$

Happy 12:31 AM
…
The coolest time of them all 
…
Perfect time to finish a cigarette $

I’m happy to say that I met my new neighbor yesterday morning when on a little really brief run $

His name is B****
I didn’t really gather much info other than that lol $

Also, this just happens to be a very special time.
Middle of July is kind of like my Christmas season apparently
…
It’s when the biggest changes have occurred for me
Cough cough rehab graduation cough cough $

There was also that one time they fired me from my fancy sales job
Yes, the one that I like to humble brag about being so good at such a young age
…
They fired me because I was leaving work early
…
Do you know why I was leaving early?
…
Because the gym closed early on the weekends lol $$

I mean, I’m not kidding when I say it boils down to that
…
There was actually a lot of corporate bullshit going on and they were cleaning house,
And I was the highest paid manager in my level in the entire company
… 
That’s what they told me the week before they fired me lol $

But they did me a favor then $

Look at me,
Look how hard I’ve already swerved
…
The notepad hasn’t really stopped me from swerving
…
It has made it more entertaining and more enlightening, though that’s for sure $$

I’m not quite sure which one of my spirits was a fucking drama queen in the past life though
…
Honestly, most likely both lol $

I feel like I can remember playing the piano in a big wooden foyer 
on a nice old-school colonial 
on a big plot of land rolling Greenhills overlooking a bay of some sort 
with a big ass ship firing cannons
…
Musket leaning against the wall,
The bayonet nearby for some strange reason $$

That’s a good memory jogger actually
…
I remember this one time when my parents were “in the field” as real estate appraisers, some rich dude gave my dad a civil bayonet for some weird reason
…
And I was fascinated by that motherfucker $$

(The bayonet)

In fact, I also have a World War I bayonet that laying around somewhere
…
It was once robber repellent as I kept it near the nightstand $$

I remember being sick with the flu at some point, I think in eighth grade
…
And all I did was play those weird computer games and watch daytime television and just stare at that bayonet lol $$

Probably not a good time to mention that my depression started in seventh grade lol $$

I am teasing a little. 
I was never planning on doing anything drastic with that wondrous relic… $

But the more I dig into my childhood the more I see a captured old historian
…
Every time they gave me amphetamines, all I did was read and draw lol $$

Private Christian school is its own unique resistance game $$$****

If I had a dollar for every time I wanted to snap but I didn’t, then I would never have to work again in my life $$***

Which means I clearly have not been paid enough lol $$$*********

It is now 1:18 AM
…
Time to enjoy part of the cigarette after enjoying the second half of that movie
…
We still got Mexican music playing in the distant background
…
I’m surprised
Neighbors around these parts get real nervous whenever they hear a drum beat past 9 PM
…
Shit, I’ve had the cops called on me for night swimming in my own backyard
…
Some nerd was probably mad that we had chicks and some good Green $$

I am not kidding when I say I’m looking at a very large, very deep snake trail through my grass
…
I think it was probably a king snake
It was a very thick trail lol $

I’m of the mind that pretty much anything political is manufactured
…
But it is manufactured to seem manufactured
…
That way it guarantees a certain element of time gets wasted during the initial investigation
…
Because anyone in the right mind can see that something is off,
and therefore is forced to go on a wild goose Chase, looking for bits of the truth
…
Meanwhile, the masters that have manufactured everything know this and are using it to hide what they are really up to $$$***

Probably not a proper challenge if you’re not second guessing your consent every 30 seconds (or minutes) $$

At the end of the day, 
if you’re going to get strangled by strangers, it’s best to do it as close to your home as you can to support your other hometown warriors $$$***

If You can secretly wish someone a happy day whenever you see them,
it only takes about two weeks before your subconscious mind stops saying “fuck that motherfucker“ for no reason $$$

You didn’t need AI robots back then when you could just have children as indentured servants $$

Children were not a luxury,
They were labor
…
And if you had enough of them, then you had the makings for a pretty good pyramid scheme $$**

Everything eventually boils down to either words or bullets $$

I think in all reality,
Spirits are just personified pathways of previous decisions that transcend lifetimes
…
So when I say that I’m guided by my grandfathers, 
I’m just trying to beat his “good person” high score
…
I don’t actually think I am trying to grapple with a disembodied consciousness, 
I think it is more trying to transcend old bullshit $$

Here’s something pretty trippy to think about~
If everything is basically one big soul marriage,
And you are a combination of two souls joining into one…,
…
That means that there is somebody out there right now wandering around that you are going to eventually morph with $$$*

If The single biggest and most meaningful ritual that we have and do here on earth is a traditional marriage,
And these two literally create other spiritual compilations,
why would it be any different philosophically speaking? $$$

It is 10:38 AM and I have arrived at the park. I am going to leave my phone now so sorry not sorry if I miss any good shit 
I usually do. $

Any day that you can do 3 miles in 60 minutes is a good day $$$

Seeing things from another perspective might as well be seeing the future
…
Mostly because of how predictable everybody is anyway $$$***

It is 12:01 PM
I have a bit of a dilemma
…
I went by Aldi’s to buy some beef and some fuel for the week
(oats and electrolytes)
But I got 1.39 of a pound,
And that shit’s gonna be hard to eat in one sitting lol $

I’m hoping my long walk in the woods is going to help me make some room for it
…
Plus a little bit of cannabis
…
But I only have two packs of mustard $

I’ve got enough salt to satisfy anyone, but this is still going to be a proper challenge. I can tell. $$

But if I can pull it off, and if I can continue to improve my ability to eat a bunch of beef, then that will really come in handy this burn season $

Magic was deliberately made to sound pretty ghey to determine the people who take shit too serious $$***

Lol, I barely made it through half of that beef
…
Kinda bummed about wasting money but gotta cut my losses $

It is 3:02 PM and I must confess that I played myself yet again
…
The oats that I bought are either ass or I really fucked up the recipe,
Which is saying something because it’s only two steps
…
It was a bowl of abomination
I’m actually pretty angry. 
I’m just trying to be cool. $

I am disappointed in myself as I have wasted more food than I have eaten in the past 24 hours $

Bro, I don’t know what’s up
…
Just had another epic fail
Was slipping into a pity party and couldn’t come up with anything better to do,
So I was gonna go post up at McDonald’s to post on socials
But on the way there, I slipped beyond Hangry and now I’m just in the spacey phase 
…
I can’t really make clear decisions,
So I tried to say fuck it and think about something fun or interesting or tasty to get and I just couldn’t decide
…
I just put air in my tire and went home lol $

It is 4:31 PM
And this is exactly why I keep this notepad and try to log the time as often as I can
…
I have had no calories since the last note about my random crash and bitchyness
…
I laid on the floor for a bit, long enough for my body to kick on the ketosis,
& now thanks to the electrolytes and a “can-do attitude”, I am feeling a lot better.
…

Also, in other news for the first time in months, I have reupped with some sludge
…
That’s because the 7-oh is likely gonna be illegal soon anyway and this is another good opportunity to test my theory $

I switched to the tablets because the digestion timing, and all that wasn’t really even worth it.
It was also kinda hard to get the dosing right for a nice little work buzz versus a sleep, assistant
…
But now that I am not taking as much per day, I’m going to see if it is a tolerance thing $

(It is. More on this later)

I also got a Gramm of some super crazy dank
…
Supposed to be like 38%
…
Which is just downright aggressive, but I am excited $

It is 5:39 PM
Leaving the Lion now
I got two piece chicken leg quarter
Bag of berries
Couple cans of cat food
A salami and block of cheese
And a handful of mustard packets
…
They’re probably getting suspicious to me rating their stash nearly daily $

I will also add for the record that I took the first sludge shot just under an hour ago and it is overall way better than the 7-oh microdose lol
…
There’s a good chance that when I was doing this sludge months ago that I probably had a tolerance that kind of messes up the low-dose $

I talk a lot of shit
But I still would bet that at the end of the day, Satan is actually a good guy
…
..
.
The ultimate heel character
…
The most cunning prison warden
…
Because if you think about it, 
the only thing worse than hell,
 is getting tricked into thinking that Satan is actually a cool overlord,
 when in reality him and Jesus are Bros and they are just good cop and bad cop
…
..
.
This is why the Bible is so adamant about loving your enemies and just simply not giving into temptation because it is always a test $$$***

Nobody actually sees the future,
They feel weird shit and just interpret it a certain way $$

Well, it is now 7:32 PM
It is officially within the last 30 minutes of the five-year anniversary of when I decided to drink again $

That is hard to even bring this up without it being controversial or even just completely coming across wrong $$

14 years ago at this time, I was giving some graduation speech in front of a podium at a rehab in South Charlotte
…
And five years ago this time, I was cracking open an apple cider with a hinge date turned friend lol $$

And I barely drank more than two that night, and the rest is kind of comical history
…
I did not spiral
I did not suddenly lose control
I had achieved the impossible
…
And since that day, I have been able to drink like a normal person
…
Ironically, far less than a normal person $

But that was the signature moment of me “going to the dark side”
…
I needed to get to the bottom of why I was still struggling each and every day emotionally, despite doing all of the right things $$

I’m happy to say that I have uncovered why and I have recovered from it
…
I would not trade the last five years for the world
…
Mostly because the whole point is to try to save it now lol $$$

I am surprised I made it this far
…
But do not be surprised at what I go on to do $$$

I will defeat bitch assNess 
no matter where,
No matter when,
No matter who,
And no matter why $$$

Sure, it is the right thing to do and all
…
But it’s just so damn fun $$$

I will confess that I could’ve paid my power bill and got my AC cut on earlier this week
…
But I chose to save that cash and to use strategically for food and fuel, mostly because of how little I actually want beyond just being able to continue the good work $$

There was a point in time which I was completely captured by my own comfort
…
Paying 50+ dollars a day just for conveniences and what not 
…
Spending every waking moment I could running around, trying to do the right thing while also trying to avoid unnecessary responsibility $$

I kind of feel like I need to take a shot
…
But I’m not going to because I actually am kind of nauseous at the idea lol 
…
If that’s not the promises coming true then I don’t know what it is $$

I officially hate the word “traunche” or whatever the fuck $$$

Friendly reminder that Ozempic does not cure decision-making $$$***

It is nine oh 3 PM
..
The cheese and crackers has been eliminated
…
Along with part of the pepperoni and about half the berries $

If I play my cards, right I’m looking at another glorious bowl of berry oatmeal sometime around the midnight movies before training $

I’ll do a better job of being descriptive with my cheeses because they are pretty dank
…
I think the one I got with some kind of Parmesan asiago
…
Probably about 600 cal $

I think I noted that that chicken disappeared too $

So far in the day,
Half a pound of ground beef- 50
Half a pound of blueberries throughout yesterday and today,
Half a chicken, the small fatty half though- 40
Block of cheese- 35
Chunk of pepperoni-15
…
So around 140 g of protein give or take
…
..
.
That’s actually a little lower than I thought it would be lol $

Past week daily I’d probably have been getting close to 200
..
A good sub is gonna get you around 100 if you load it up good 
…
A pound of meat, is basically the same
…
Some accessory miscellaneous protein oats, and you can easily make up another 30 g $$

I definitely added some mass this week
…
But today was a big win by reinforcing my fat focused metabolism
Because if I get two carb dependent, and I’m just gonna swell up like a water balloon again $

My goal is to alternate three days of a push pull legs hypertrophy focus with three days of a full body functional split
…
Maybe an active rest day thrown in the mix
…
My real hope is to be able to get back to training twice a day, including ju jitsu $ 

I’m hoping to be a sleepy bear here soon
…
Tomorrow is supposed to be in the 70s
Maybe a little rainy, but that’s cool $

And it’s the 13th, which is always the best $$

I just keep laughing to myself,
While one grandfather was building a plane and flying it into war, 
the other one was jumping out of the back of it to go train rebels lol $$




Sludge

Cheese 
Pepperoni 
Berries
Oats 
Mustard
Cat food 

Eggs
—————
Sub
Beef
Snacks

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

7-13-26

713

Happy 12:03 AM $

What a bad ass day $$$

I consider this day the anniversary of when I received one the most amazing gifts ever
…
That’s right !
…
That’s when my little buddy rolled up on my back deck $

(3yrs ago)

Kind of crazy actually 
…
I just quit my last commercial trainer job
…
Just got back from a backpacking run
…
Just bought a can of sardines for the first 
time in my adult life
…
And for some reason that night, I didn’t immediately throw the can away, so it was sitting out on my counter, with all the fish juice still in it 
…
..
.
I went to lay down to sleep when the sun was still up like a nerd,
And then I heard this little meow on my back deck, which is near my window
…
And I went out and the most adorable little kitty was hanging out under the grill
…
He was very vocal lol
…
..
.
I never seen him before that night and by the grace of God he has never left
…
He is also chasing the “kitty longevity” record.
And I think he’ll break it with plenty of room cause he’s legitimately magic $$

*Lightning flash $

Anywho,
But he kind of lingered for a couple days by the back deck.
I thought he might’ve belonged to somebody.
He didn’t seem unhealthy, but he also was definitely stray after I got close enough to tell
He was probably six weeks
…
I am pretty sure I know who his dad is,
And I think I might’ve even seen his mom once before on my front porch
…
Either way
That little motherfucker is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me $$

*Meow meow from the window $

Timing is on point tonight lol $

I swear to God, I would not have hung in the pocket this long with all of this crazy creative bullshit, in the cold and hot cave if it wasn’t for him $$

I’ll confess,
 usually a highlight of my day is running into Food Lion to buy the cat food
…
And having to dodge all the ratchets and what not on each aisle just to get it $$

But I hope to continue that dash for a long period of time
…
It is an honor and a privilege to serve my little buddy $$$

*Pours shot 

*Lighter flick

Happy 2:04 AM
Another nice little sleep break and is nearly time for some berry oatmeal $

Now that I am taking shots of sludge again, there’s gonna be a bunch of people who think I’m an alcoholic whenever I say I’m pouring a shot lol $$

The only way that AI is going to ruin somebody’s world is if they’ve already invested everything and gone all in on it 
…
because once people realize it is overall not really that great,
Then the entire bubble will burst and simply the disappointment from the failure to materialize will destroy some people’s paradigm 
and Will to live… $$$

The single biggest reason why AI poses a threat is because if it does get good enough to do the work for some people, there will be a large majority of the population who will instantaneously take the easy way out regardless of the trade-off consequences
…
And we already have a large group of people who want nothing more than to lie & and steal if it means not having to do any actual work
…
So if we have more of these people than we have of those who actually take pride in their purpose,
 then we would simply not have a good balance for quality of life $$$

Every person that decides to do Ozempic just simply makes what I have decided to do more meaningful and more impressive $$*

Every mistake that other people make just makes your position more meaningful and more valuable and more respectable
…
Therefore, you can rejoice when you see people acting like idiots, 
…
but not very much cause it’s still sucks ass and creates lots of problems lol $$$***

AI will cause lots of job loss but Mostly for the idiots who overly invested $$

It is 2:41 AM and I’m just gonna get to the point 
…
I just had the best bowl of berry oatmeal ever
…
I was waiting on this shit for like 30 hours now
Not only is it physically replenishing, but it is spiritually fulfilling $

And I should be borderline scary with the pump soon $$

There is a chance I’m a bit on the early side with the meal timing, but that might just mean I need to go to the gym earlier
…
Oh darn 🤷🏻‍♂️ $

There’s basically a new crowd every three hours at the gym
So it’s like a social shift
…
If I’m used to going at nine, but I go at six, I might as well be in a completely different environment, socially speaking.
…
Which means you can get creative with wardrobe and who you flirt with I guess 😉 $

It’s not that I’m against hitting on people in the gym or treating it like a social club,
It’s just that it’s not optimal and the set up is currently shit for that
…
Everybody has their headphones in,
Going to or from work,
Or treating the gym like it is their work
…
I see plenty potential of balancing the environment to where it is both an entertaining social club where you can meet healthy dating prospects,
 and also upgrade the training layout and flow and modalities and what not $$

We can balance it,
We can turn it into a true spiritual church
…
That is far more entertaining than it sounds lol $$$

Think of cool things like paintball and rock, climbing and skateboarding,
Connected to the greatest library of most transparent propaganda
…
Connected to some of the greatest culinary artists of our time, with the greatest concoctions and gourmet PB&J sandwiches
…
That is ran by true artists and never closes
…
That has a specialty wing that is ran by some recovery Nazis that specialize in working with the super troubled
…
That also has a gang of ex convicts who are the most Jacked of everyone leading secret training programs, both physical and philosophical
…
All of this will be tax funded too lol $$$*

This will lay the foundation for the “energy point Social Security system”
…
In which case you will be guaranteed basically whatever you want based off your energy points
…
We will use AI for tracking and authenticity and scoring
…
And because there’s nothing that brings more energy than service work, we will create a self healing cycle That is both the most entertaining and beneficial for all involved. $$$*

This will undeniably defeat bitchassness by exposing it for the self-inflicted poisonous paradigm pathogen that it is $$$*

The pain of the wicked will be magnified while tears of joy are shared by the humble and hard-working $$$***

There will never be a day in which the truth will be questioned by Some egocentric advanced monkey Larping as a dark magician again $$$**************

We will do it together
…
We will our labor as one super tight family
…
“Like passengers who were once on a sinking ship“ 🚢 $$

(Iykyk)

Camaraderie and companionship that is currently cherished within the secret recovery societies will be common place $$$

You know, 
sometimes the wind in the rainy trees, sound a little like applause $$

What they don’t want you to know-
…
When powerlifting correctly, 
You actually spend most time just sitting & staring at shit $$

Doing the most is the most common & least talked about crime of all time $$$***

The only people worth taking pity on are those who have yet to learn the pain of a missed opportunity
…
Because there’s only one way to learn that lesson and until then, they will just simply keep digging deeper $$*

You’re either digging for gold 
or you’re digging your own grave 
…
either way you better have a shovel in your hand lol $$$***

“Strange adaptations“ 
just sounds like a pretty good movie or TV series $$$

There is active energy,
Conscious and unconscious
(what is actively pumping through your veins vs what is being used in your muscle cells )
…
Then There is standby energy,
Conscious and unconscious
(what is held by your liver and what is held in your muscles)
…
Then There is reserve energy,
Conscious and unconscious
(anything that is sitting in your digestion track vs body fat) $$

The specifics of a shitstorm rarely change the solution TQ,
…
Otherwise excuses would consistently overwhelm consistency $$*

Magic is just saying shit a certain way to get somebody to do a certain thing $$***

Those who stack the negatives when being “realistic” are just closeted pessimists
…
Or pussies $$**

Honestly, 
your art is probably not that good if you’re not willing to sacrifice your family for it lol $$********

Good art leaves you without many options
…
Either have to share it somehow 
or you will eventually go insane and destroy everyone around you anyway $$$$$$$$$$$*****

(lol clearly a very important message there)

& gotta admit,
Usually best to be alone during the starving phase lol $$

You don’t know people until you’ve had to make a sandwich for a bunch of them $$$******

Sandwiches are the true drug of choice by most laborers $$*

Being a bad ass adventurer in a previous life just feels like ADHD in this one $$**

Bad people are rarely actually evil,
Usually just really bored $$$

Happy 12:25pm from the public library 📚 $

Realizing I do better working in public, not because I hate being at home, but because spirituality speaking, I am most used to sweating & swearing over a task in public $$

If you have to use public WiFi,
Do it at a sketchy McDonald’s and not a prissy snooty library
…
Data hackers usually don’t have the patience to hang around with the ratchets while trying to steal riches $$***

(Data hackers are usually the resentful SoyBoy atheists if you ain’t heard) $$

Anything with a screen is just consciousness portal tech 
…
Same with pages of paper honestly $$

You can’t call yourself a true philosopher if you don’t have a head of crazy hair $$$*

You know you’ve truly mastered some shit when you hope things get fucked just because it is so much fun putting it back together $$***

You can’t call yourself a true philosopher if your primary protocol doesn’t involve poison of sorts $$$

It is 1:22 PM
Just finished another lucky dash on the way back from the library
After getting another sandwich from the Publix
…
They definitely have the best sandwiches and service even though the Homie today was basically brand new
…
I was just very happy to demonstrate my restored patience 
…
Finished some edits at the library while charging too,
Investigated a book on Sir Isaac Newton
…
Who let me just say had some crazy fucking hair lol $

I am happy to be doing another experiment
…
Instead of taking a microdose of 7-oh to begin my afternoon reset, I am switching back to the sludge
…
I have not had any sludge or 7 since about 2 AM
I’ve also only had one hit of cannabis during that time too $

Once again, if you wipe my memory, I wouldn’t be able to tell you physically when the last was
…
I have zero cravings
And for zero withdrawals or anything of the sort $

My current theory is that the 7 microdose is actually probably half as strong as the traditional sludge shot
…
Which is about as strong as two capsules
…
Which is about as strong as a cup of coffee without a crash $$

Pricewise is actually probably about the same
But I’m hoping that the dosing last longer and is more therapeutic $

I know I have said a lot of spiritual shit about It’s probably best to be the “most grateful” or the “most balanced”
…
..
.
I think I take that back
…
I think the greatest gift is “to enjoy standing in long lines”
…
..
.
Because the person who genuinely enjoys waiting for what they need, will always end up ahead $$$***

This time last year,
I had two watches that had been dead for years But suddenly, just started keeping time again
…
The silver light one seems to have been running smoothly since,
However, my sleek black one seems to start and stop without reason $

The only thing actually worth worrying about is how much you are worrying on a regular basis
…
So if you worry a lot, then you should probably be worried for your well being
…
But once you tire yourself out and quit worrying, then you’ll be good forever so… don’t worry lol $$$*

I don’t think spirits or entities or consciousness orbs in the shadow realm can actually give you the answers or the keys to things like good music or good ideas
…
That would be pretty fucked up to find out that they were basically helping you cheat on the test and that you actually didn’t do it
…
I think it’s more like they structure events and situations, or can do the equivalent of a psychic poke to stimulate an idea or cause a reaction, 
which then leads to a lesson $$

…
This type of interference also opens the door for misinterpretation by selfish, fearful, and impatient bitch boys who want what they want when they want it
…
They don’t even realize how dangerously close they are to robbing themselves of all sense of meaning and merit $$$*

I also think that there is a level of consciousness in which conversations are almost in instantaneous
…
This is also where “big ideas are downloaded”
…
Or how you can see the big picture suddenly / instantaneously instead of having to sort through each individual detail in your conscious spotlight $$

So I think that in many cases, that is where “channeling” takes place
…
And I do think that you actually can regurgitate things verbatim,
Somewhat contradicting what I just said,
But I’m really talking about situations or creative endeavors that reflect personal development $$

If you graft’d what people spent the majority of their time doing,
You would begin to think that sleep and Netflix are the leading killers $$$***

Chill-Ville is at the end of Bullshit Rd btw $$

Give me the long windy Road that makes you 1% better each day than the smooth street that slowly erodes you any day $$$***

But if you gotta put me on the smooth street, then just give me a skateboard 🛹 $$

Here’s a fun fact for any “fans”
…
“Memory lane” is the street in front of my childhood home,
Which is the street down the street that I usually walk down on my sun walks
…
This Was originally referred to as “the smooth street” between me and the neighborhood boys back in the day
…
When we were young, they repaved it, giving it it’s name and glory
It was the perfect little intersection for skateboarders,
And football apparently $

20 years ago, it was encouraged to play in the street honestly
And the woods
…
But those were the final years,
Pretty much once the smart phone hit the shelves, shit went sideways $$

It is 2:58 PM
Happy to report that sub is officially gone
…
Also happy to report that my T-shirts are fitting tighter, which is pretty sweet
I don’t think I’ve gained any fat therefore I’m looking extra scary $

I’m thinking I’m gonna do some striking technique this evening
…
Remind me to hold myself accountable to that lol $

(I DID DO IT!!! 🎉 )

It’s like I wish it was nap time, I’m just not really tired. $

If you’re really in the shit emotionally and you have to do something that you really don’t wanna do,
Just label it “operation clean dishes without dying” or something like that
…
Even if you don’t have a military lineage, you may find it oddly comforting and encouraging $$$

The only way to actually retire is to do something so crazy incredible that you have to spend the rest of your days simply processing the fact that it’s actually real and that you actually pulled it off $$*

Don’t blame me if the food is a little cool by the time it arrive
…
Blame the James Taylor 🎶 $$

You can rest assured knowing that the fat is always at the bottom of the pyramid $$

Happy 5:16 PM
It’s stormy outside but couldn’t be more cool
Just had an epic little dash run
…
It was a triple pick up with a surprise bonus
…
Avg three dollars a mile is Hall of Fame numbers too $

Soon I’ll probably do a deep disclosure on DoorDash for anyone else needing to get into the hustle for some side cash
…
Because if you’re not careful, 
they will play you like a fool 
and you’re end up just volunteering until you get so resentful that you rage quit $$$

But if you’re smart, 
there’s a way to make at least a couple hundred dollars extra a week without really having to go too far out of your way
…
It’s a lot like playing blackjack. 
You gotta know when to take it and when to leave it.
&
You gotta be cool with spontaneously running down the street and getting philosophically dicked down by dumb & destructive drive-through employees $$

We are not actually orbs of awareness with bodies for piloting this classroom planet,
…
We are more like blobs of emotional decision-making snowballs that come into this existence with eons of bullshit attached $$

Bird?
…..
Plane?
…..
No.. 
…
no… !
..
.
it’s supercool man! $$

Just renewed my “neighborhood power ranger” permit 🥊 $$

Today, of all days, there happens to be a grasshopper on my GI pants
…
Nice $

If things don’t work out for me, 
then I’m gonna start a political party called the “Hometown clowns“ 🤡 $$$***

Scariest resistance game of them all is doing a Strong trip with no sitter 🍄 $$*******

Beef  
Berries 
Water
Cat food/ treats
Ketchup $$

Guess who just got back from the lion without a resentment?
…
That’s right!
…
Beat that “general public” lol $$$

…
Go grocery shopping without judging and hating on everybody $$$

Another big reason why the CIA won’t declassify psychic technology is because once they confirm out of body experiences, everybody’s gonna get mad that they had to stay embodied at work $$$*************

Ironic that atheists are the most resistant to the idea that “earth is a school to evolve out of our own bullshit” 🤔 $$

I’m not saying that an actual wall is healthier than all my old friends,
…
Just the majority of them lol $$

just Kidding 
…
Most of my old adult friends are actually very healthy philosophically
…
I just had to take a side road thru the wildness for a while $

And our interests drastically changed,
And schedules,
 and what not $

But is a literal random wall healthier than my teenager friends?
…
Ex Coworkers?
…
General public?
…
..
.
Crossfitters?
…
I mean… $$$

Happy 8:56 PM
This may come as a surprise to you, 
but I am Smoking some super dank $

This last nugget that I got is so much stronger than the pre-roll that I had, that I am now kind of suspicious about the supplier lol $

I am happy to report just how good my resting baseline is these days
…
Naturally, I almost forget that’s why I started this whole shit because I was quite literally unable to function and think straight and could get no clarity between biological bullshit and a lot of strange spiritual high strangeness $$

Slowly, but surely, I have rebuilt myself
…
And now my body is nearly caught back up to where my mind now is
…
But chemically speaking, the herbs can be confidently downgraded
…
..
.
Cannabis and Kratom are unique in that they can be used lightly, socially, or medically
And I will confess that I had to lean on them for their medicinal properties, If you know what I’m saying. $$

I’m just happy to say that now it truly is down to light or social
(social being work stuff too) $$

Do you ever just stop and have a moment to yourself when the amount of bullshit you’ve been through hits you and you just kind of can’t believe that you’re actually doing as well as you’re doing?
…
Cause that’s me right now $$$

I don’t think anyone’s gonna believe this
…
I was just notified of something pretty fucking crazy
…
I’m in disbelief, honestly
…
I’m kind of forcing myself to write it down
…
..
.
I just won the award for most grateful person as of 9:25 PM on 713 2026
…
..
.
To say I’m grateful to win this award is an understatement
…
But I am very excited to put it next to the rest of them $$

I am enjoying a smoke
And a giggle
 if I say so myself $

Also, a podcast
If you don’t listen to the “Why files”, then I would just like to know why
…
I am but a small southern snake so to come across me before coming across that channel would be quite surprising $$

I will confess that it took me 32 years to realize that my life is a comedy
…
Mostly because I was taking a lot of shit pretty serious for a while there
But that’s actually just called “gathering content”
…
It’s when you just go LARP around as a normie for as long as you can before almost killing yourself,
 and then you take a a hard left turn and finding yourself in front of a group of people chasing a giggle $$

If I’m actually funny, then I credit AAA for their support $$

But It’s gonna be funny when my descendants find these notes and are like “why the fuck does he talk about the travel agency Rent-A-Car roadside assistance place so much?” $$

Celebrating when someone specific dies is pretty gross
…
But celebrating whenever anyone dies is a good rule to have $$


——

Open the deck
Pick a card
Click the move

Earn energy points & exchange them for dopamine with your “higher power”

$

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

7-14-26

714

Happy universal alchemy day $$

I guess technically it’s more like official “solar system” alchemy day
Something like that $$

I think it is time to watch a movie about World War II boats and planes and shit
…
Surely no connection $

Kidding aside though, I Netflix just added one of my favorite childhood movies
“U-571”
…
It is about an Allied submarine during WW2 who has to take over a German submarine after theirs gets blown up
…
It is a somewhat older movie
…
I remember when i first bought it at a gas station on a road trip to watch 
…
I mean, I must’ve watched the movie at least 10 times
At the time, I just thought I was an interesting movie
I am old enough now to be able to distinguish interest between captivation/fascination $

Whenever I come across some piece of history involving some kind of war, it is like that event is branded in my brain
…
It stands out because of the weird feelings attached to it
…
It’s like an energy awareness nostalgia thing $

Cause I guess it’s not that common for an eight year-old to be binge watching World War II propaganda… $$$

But AnyWho
Happy 12:34 AM
Can’t forget that $

I cannot wait for the berry oatmeal
The issue though is, it is pretty potent.
 so if I miss time my feeding, I will fuck up my second sleep and training timing
…
Usually at about 3 to 4 hours is when the energy starts kicking in
…
The fiber helps a bit to not completely send my blood sugar into the stratosphere $

The world boils down to two kinds of people-
Those who can read the invisible symbolism, 
and those who can’t $$

There are only two reactions to that last claim-
Those who couldn’t agree more, 
and those who are bitter and angry about that for no reason $$*

“Is that lean in your cup?”
…
..
.
“Nope, just microplastics lol” $$

You gotta be real careful with the music you’re listening to these days
…
You think you’re jamming but you’re actually just worshipping satan $$$***

I don’t really believe in accidents anymore,
I definitely believe in creative victimization scenarios though $$

You’re either honoring yourself
The greater good,
Or both $$

(Or neither lol)

Never try to out nice anyone ,
Just let them have the W and enjoy the convenience they gave you $$$

(“You go first”
“No, you go first”.
🤮)

If you’re always either first there & last to leave somewhere, 
then that just means you are the captain 🧑‍✈️ $$

It is 11:34 AM
I’m currently recharging on the floor,
After recharging a little bit at the library,
And spiritually recharging at the gym with a glorious back workout
…
Also halfway through a sub already
I could tell as I was starting training that I was low on the gas tank,
But right when my metabolism actually cut on and started cooperating, I actually had a good bit of energy
…
I could tell it was more from fats and less from carbs
Which is bittersweet $

It means I get to eat more, 
But it also means I have to eat more lol $

If you really want to recover from an illness, don’t sign up for treatment at your hospital,
Sign up for service at your church
…
And if you are too special for a brick and mortar church, then just go clean up the street or park or something $$$***

9kg ‎ = 19.842 lb 
Which is functionally 20lb
…
(Notepad auto converted which was unexpected lol) $

Heavy & deep unconscious breathing + discontent = your body is converting fats and you’ll feel better soon
…
Unconscious twitching + restlessness = that you probably have too much fuel or need to burn some shit off $$$*

If science actually cared about your well-being, 
then there would be a disclosure on every study that says “we really don’t know for sure but this is our best guess…, 
Plz don’t become super religious about what we say”
…
But instead, they decide to copycat the crazy Christians and just condemn those who don’t believe their precious opinion $$$***

Satisfying a craving is not the same as satisfying a need,
Cravings feel far more needy than actual needs $$***

YOOOO !!!
Just saw Jeffrey the owl for the first time in months 🦉 
…
That motherfucker’s wingspan is so big that I swear I heard him flap the other day. 
I just couldn’t get eyes on them.
…
But there he was! as I was eating my sandwich,
On the same branch that I first met him at during that major snowstorm when I was eating those other crackers $

I learned a long time ago to forgive myself for not maximizing every ounce of appreciation in real time
…
My guard is always on edge,
Therefore ironically, it is hard for me to truly “be in the moment“ no matter what
…
 But this does provide a natural advantage for the commentary and content if you can tell 😏 
…
And I now am able to revisit these lovely memories thanks to both writing about them in the moment and reviewing the notes afterwards $$

My point is that writing things down basically guarantees you revisit it consciously at least three times 
…
Once when you write it down,
Once when you edit it,
Once again when you revisit it after your edits $$

This is a super steroid for your unconscious brain
…
The best kind of memory occurs when you aren’t really trying, but maintaining an open level of awareness $$

Take my advice or don’t
…
I’m gonna keep doing it lol $$

Another reason why disclosure is not gonna happen is because basically everybody’s accidentally worshiping Satan every day
…
Thanks to the global elite, who have turned everything into some kind of fucked up ritual $$$**

The best thing that you can wish upon somebody is for them to feel amazing about themselves $$***

I’m pretty sure Satan‘s laugh just sounds like the DoorDash jingle $$**********

Random but my ex is probably the ideal ex at least for my next future girlfriend
…
Talking about how much of a non-Threat she is
…
She is One of the sweetest nicest people on the planet,
Probably too respectful and considerate for her own good
…
But If I was dating me, then I can’t come up with a better scenario $$

(You looking like my next mistake deer reader 😉)

Everybody seems to have some super crazy relationship past,
I’m just glad mine was never that crazy and was also several years past now $

Eggs
Cheese
Berries $

It is 7:18 PM
It might be one of the most beautiful Tuesdays I’ve ever seen
…
Just leaving the Lion now with tonight’s dinner
Got a dozen eggs
A block of cheese
Bag of berries
And plenty of oatmeal to make the greatest bowl ever $

I seem to be out of energy in a good way.
…
I have been going nonstop per usual,
Got a lot of things done,
A lot of things re-organized,
A lot of preparations made,
All that jazz $

I am resisting the urge to rush and try to somehow slam more work in.
My goal is really to relax as hard as possible, and get ready for legs tomorrow $

It’s still amazes me how many words I’ve wasted on dating apps $$

You really don’t need much in life besides a couple heavy stones and enough eggs to keep the fight going $$$***

Can we agree that if doesn’t meet any of the following, that it deserves to be shamed and condemned daily until the behavior changes?
…
If it’s not~
- Intentional
- Helpful
- Healthy 
- Funny
- Rational 
- Educational
Then you should have permission to shame it $$$

Happy 11:19pm from the midnight movies
…
You know, I gotta finish my World War II submarine movie
…
Cause there’s no way I can do it in one sitting lol $

Biologically speaking, 
I think I can sit still finish an entire movie if I needed to.
I just never have the time or the interest $

But bust out some nice late 90s propaganda and I’m hooked $

Lol that movie got me all jazzed up now
…
I swear to God, I’m having flashbacks $

It’s so funny cause they’re often a lot like in the movies when you have that flashback Vietnam gunfire overlay
(You know exactly what I mean lol ) $$

OK, here’s a weird story-
…
Growing up, the only firearm we had in the house was a 3030 Winchester rifle
…
The backstory was that it belonged to my dad’s dad. 
It was a family heirloom of sorts.
…
And one night he requested it because there was a drunk asshole, wanting to start some shit and threatening to come back the following evening
…
And he came back 
…
and he got shot 
…
and he got killed lol
…
..
.
It was self-defense though.
..
I will confess is a small Chance I’m confusing the actual triggerman
…
..
.
Definitely has nothing to do with my new neighbor who’s kind of loud… $$

If you’re going to be extreme about something, just make sure you do it on both sides to balance things out
…
, thanks for letting me share lol $$

——
Degrees
FAQs

Library
Reading

Secret Service
Referrals/ resources 

$

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

7-15-26

715

*Grinder squeak $

Hey there,
Good morning,
How are you? $

*Tink Tink $

I am well,
Stellar actually
…
Just enjoying 3:56 AM $

*lighter flick $

Did you know that the danky dank can’t smoke itself? 
…
That is why God made people, so the best weed wouldn’t be alone
…
This revelation naturally upset some people,
No more than The uptight neurotic types $$

Another secret is that the whole Noah arc thing was a big misunderstanding
…
It was symbolic
…
It was also about dank Kush
…
Because after Noah was instructed to get two strains of everything, 
and after he mastered the art of homegrown, 
then he would be responsible for replenishing the Earth after the flood $$

I would argue that the smartest salesman could easily out maneuver the smartest lawyer $$$

…
Lawyers only care about being correct,
Salesman only care about being effective $$

…
They both play the same game,
They both attempt to place themselves in the minds of the unsuspecting general public to convince them to do what they want,
Both make a lot of money $$

…
Salesman, however, focus on the art of the convincing
…
While lawyers are bogged down by bureaucracy and bullshit, salesman are usually doing rep after rep of overcoming objections $$

…
They have not wasted years of becoming additionally institutionalized with bs schooling, 
Instead, they are usually plucked off the streets $$

And because you must be a certain level of insane to even survive, 
those who have passed the test of time are especially potent $$

…
Lawyers often have to inflate their position and use intimidation to be persuasive
…
A good salesman is going to seem like your best friend, 
to the point you’ll have a strange urge to invite them to your family functions after the deal $$

…
A good salesman can sell anything to anyone at any time with the right motives and intention
…
A good lawyer might as well be a good gold digger because the weight of their success rests on them finding some small smoking gun $$

…
Speed always helps the salesman,
Speed and efficiency are clearly the nemesis of the legal system $$

…
I could go on and on,
Mostly because that is an easy position to defend $$

The best part is that the only people who would be triggered by that would most likely be lawyers
…
And if that’s the case, 
they probably would’ve completely forgotten the fact that they’re already on this website reading this shit anyway
…
Meaning they’ve already gotten sold lol $$

(Thanks for the attention)

Don’t think I have a special love for salesmen,
Most of them are pathetic snakes that do nothing but bring shame upon themselves $$$

They gave the art a bad name and have corrupted the entire planet with it $$$

It has become a form of dark magic, 
a game of trying to get as much as you can from somebody $$$

I’m just saying that if they ruined the world, that they’re gonna also be responsible for fixing it $$$

Philosophically speaking,
The right salesman is likely the most dangerous & influential person on the planet
…
You can see the impact of bad salesman everywhere,
 Esp in the White House $$

Sales is extra tricky though because you’re responsible for reminding somebody of their own bullshit
Which makes it a pretty sensitive judgment call
…
Once you learn the right techniques, you can pretty much overcome any objection if you have the right solution and incentive $$

…
But sometimes the prospect will give you a genuinely valid and reasonable objection lol
…
So what are you to do in that situation?
…
Your job is to kill 
…
They buy or die 
or you die on the inside $$

I think if we had a guarantee that you would recover one percent better than whatever you fucked up or fucked you up, 
…
Then people would chill out more lol $$$

Literally because chilling is the key to recovery $$

But I have good news for you, dear reader
And the world,
We do recover $$$
 
Holy balls it is actually kind of chilly outside
…
That is probably the last night I will be able to say that until September
…
Must be 69°
…
Nice $

It’s 4:32 AM now
Also nice
…
And extra nice time for a cigarette $

Because I am celebrating,
I hardly need another reason, but…
…
Just had what could be top three bowls of berry oatmeal of all time $

I am regretful to report that I am probably gonna end up wasting another six eggs
…
I’m not trying to justify it, but it is only $.75
…
I am also not gonna lie,
I think I’m somehow still barely at maintenance calorie wise
…
And if today is supposed to be legs
…
And if it’s supposed to be hypertrophy
Then I am kind of fucked lol $

I could tell before the cheese and eggs digested last night that my body pulled from reserves
…
The good news is that seems to be a pretty quick switch again
…
Bad news is I’m supposed to do legs and hypertrophy at the same time lol $

But that last bowl was borderline heroic size
Extra fruity 
…
So I’m hoping for a smooth takeoff and then who knows $

Calling someone gay for anything other than being gay is philosophically ghey $$$*

Happy 8:45 AM
Time to go hit legs lol $

If you do something outgoing or nice and you don’t get an immediate payoff, 
never take it personally, 
just call it practice and keep it moving $$$

Only those who have never been anywhere else 
& have seen it all,
train at planet fitness $$

The amount of shirtless selfies that I’ve interrupted at planet fitness is concerning $$

Don’t move to mint hill if you don’t like the smell of old people $$$***

Most are more cringe than cool
…
But still always best to assume the ladder before the former $$

Make decisions based on what your cool with being wrong about
…
Not what you desperately need to be correct about $$$

Tic… tik…
…
That’s the sound of the clock running out for the uptight 40 year old feminist $$*********

Show me one good God-fearing, card carrying, feminist plz $

(Had to tone down the $$$ cuz I don’t actually want to wish that 😂 )

Bad technique speaks for itself
…
Good technique speaks for the craft $$**

Everybody wants to be an artist, 
but not many people are willing to be poisoned enough to be a good one $$***

You haven’t mastered anything until the hardest part is simply showing up $$$***

I am simply the product of “Cpt. Plan-it” & “Sgt. Figure-it-out” $$

You’re not a true philosopher if you’ve never fallen asleep at a desk $$$***

It is 12:02 PM
Leaving the library now after a nice little charge up Sesh
…
Trying to deliver a pizza or sandwich while I get back to work here shortly $

If all of your “problems“ could genuinely be solved with money and/or additional free time,
 then you are killing the game in all of the best ways $$$

If you actually incarnated two stubborn military brats from different branches into the same body, 
you probably seem bipolar $$

The fact that you can think the same thing every day and then one day it totally clicks and changes your entire paradigm,
 is honestly kind of fucked, but that’s just the way it is $$

Most will never understand just how different the same heavy stones feel each day
…
Mostly because they never bothered to even pick em up $$

The day you go to lift something that you want that was “heavy” and then find yourself saying “shit that was kind of easy”, is the day your life changes forever
…
Either for the good because you realize your own potential
…
Or for the worse because you just assume you don’t have to work hard at anything else ever again lol $$$

The 12 steps, simplified
….
1. Everything is fucked
2. It can be fixed
3. Not by us though
4. But by following some steps
5. Let’s talk about it
6. You see these patterns?
7. Let’s talk about them
8. You see those people who are pissed?
9. Let’s fix it
10. Keep up the good work
11. There’s always another level though
12. And here’s how you unlock it
$$$***

Did you know that every cute wild animal is going to die some kind of vicious death?
…
Unless we step in to save them
…
Obviously, I’m not talking about creating more zoos
…
But we can give these animals a nice peaceful passage to the spirit realm if you know what I’m saying 
…
Obviously part of me is kidding,
…
But the issue with most environmentalist and is that they thing hunting is cruel and unnecessary
…
They prefer all of the nice savory animals just to get eaten alive instead $$

The first 30 seconds of any workout is a more revealing health assessment than anything you will receive from a physician in 3hrs time
…
Debate me $$$***

If success is determined by title, then we should be most proud of our politicians
…
If Success is determined by performance, then we should be most ashamed of our politicians $$$

The most foolish, most preventable mistake is simply giving yourself too much credit $$$************

I’m so good at coming up with shit like that last line $$

(Hehe 😏)

It is 2:25 PM and time to go do laundry at a public laundromat for the second time in my life lol $

Imagine being forced to sit through a movie with a very fat, very angry and disrespectfully lead actor
…
Because that’s most people‘s life reviews $$$

Here’s a fun game if you really have nothing better to do
…
See how slow you can drive on a main road without inconveniencing anyone
…
So obviously when someone gets close, you gotta speed up
…
Maybe take a side turn to get rid of the tail,
…
Bonus points if you can keep it under 30 miles an hour $$$

Here’s a superpower nobody gives credit to~
…
Selective nose blindness
…
That way, you can always tell if you get smelly,
And you can always tune out those who are $$$***

Earth is just a bucket of some sort
…
Not 100% on exactly what tho $$

Irrational psychological resistance is either creative fuck shit or mental illness $$

…
So if you are fine one second but then are suddenly on the verge of institutionalization when it comes time to hammer out some shit, 
then you may just be an artist
…
Instead of just a “liability” or a “headache to those around you” $$

If you have the ability to identify and understand the difference between rational and irrational then you are not crazy
…
That doesn’t take you off the emotional roller coaster though
…
Cause if you got some shit to create, there’s only one way off that ride $$

If anyone understands what it’s like to hate sitting still it is me,
…
But you need to be able to do it if you want to balance that shit out $$

(For years apparently)

I’m not sure which is more terrifying at the gym
…
If someone is moaning
Or
If someone is growling $$

ADHD is just some shit that smart people exhibit when they’re slowed down by morons $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$********

I swear to God, 
I will have a product one day called “brain fuel”
…
It’s just gonna be super strong electrolytes $$

I’m also gonna have a delightful drink one day called “dopamine drank”
…
It’s gonna be a little bit of cannabis, 
a little bit of Kratom 
a little bit of caffeine 
and there will be a funny philosophical line on every can $$$*

The “dumbass delight“ is just going to be regular beer
…
Which to be clear, is still glorious in its own right
…
Just nowhere near the scale of cannabis $$

I support supporting healthy testosterone levels and all that
…
I just think that if the solution is quite literally asking for your balls, that you should probably try some other options first $$$***

If you’re willing to trade your balls based on the recommendation of a physician, 
then I just want you to say it out loud first
…
But definitely not to me because I don’t even wanna hear that shit anymore $$$**********

I often forget just how many people will never know what it’s like to be most afraid of “simply making it through the night” $$

When you recover from a fear like that, you’ll never be concerned about ass hats again $$$

My body is just an emotional stick shift vehicle 🚗 $$*******

Just had a crazy senior moment
…
I was looking for my sunglasses all over my car before I finally found them
Guess where?
…
Yep, on my fucking face lol $

Here’s another suburban secret that they don’t want you to know 
…
If you’ve ever received blood or plasma donation, 
then it probably came from a junky
…
Especially plasma $$***

Happy 5:29pm from the McDonald’s corner booth $

Not to brag but prob set a PR with that last pizza delivery 
…
Hoping for a rebound as I do edits and camouflage with the ratchets $$

Side note,
It’s official -
Single Sludge shots are far more effective work wise than microdosing 7-0H lol
…
Not as convenient and there a bit inconsistent, but the plant leaf is better for sure alkaloid wise $$

I do think tolerance matters most,
 naturally 7-OH can metabolize quickly making it easier to keep a low tolerance if you have good discipline 
…
The sludge or capsules can be sneaky in the background and jack your tolerance up over time
…
But the 7 will fuck you up in the worst ways if you are not very careful $$

I don’t think I’m going back to it honestly 
…
Except maybe for another experiment $

(lol lies.
Back on the 7 cuz it’s easier to manage tolerance wise actually)

 The same traffic that once used to give me panic and stress attacks is now my entertainment
…
True modern day!American alchemy $$

Karma’s revenge on all the colonists for their conquest of the Native Americans is now we got actual Indians invading the states $$*********

If you don’t understand why god would create earth when there is a heaven, 
then you deserve to stay at the kids table $$$***

Seriously,
The cringe of the youth is plenty enough incentive to create an entirely different realm
…
That way, your “loving creation” can grow until they’re no longer existentially annoying 
…
..
.
Best of both worlds if you ask me hehe $$$*

(On fire today ngl lol 🔥)

If I had a dollar for every time I heard a McDonald’s employee say the N word for no reason,
…
I wouldn’t still be in this booth 
That’s for sure 😂 $$

Have you ever been in a really bad mood and somebody who is annoyingly positive pops up and that is just the worst thing in the world
…
It’s almost like their attitude burns even tho they’re being healthy & helpful
…
..
.
That’s how evil bitch ass demons feel when you smile at their own patheticness $$*

That’s why when you are positive, the last thing they want to do is to get near you
…
It burns them
…
It forces them to confront their own bitchassness $$

Whenever they see you having fun, 
they are forced to reckon with the reality that they could’ve been a part of it, 
but are simply too lame now $$

Did you know that the super rich who have figured out and withheld all kinds of technology, don’t know how to hide their money?
…
So when you look at a list of the rich people, you’re looking at 100% actual honesty
…
..
.
Because why would rich people lie about their wealth when everybody hates rich people so much? $$$

When your internal voice is corrupted, you must listen to those outside of yourself
…
But when those outside of you are corrupted, then you must rely on your inner voice
…
..
.
And fuck sticks with a lot of inside info understand this, 
which is why everybody has been BioHacked and sabotaged and poisoned and lied to
…
Because with all of the noise and all of the pain from all of the distraction, 
you can’t reasonably listen to what’s going on in your head when your first reaction is selfishness $$$

But if you can recover, 
then you can become a leader, & this internal voice can shine through
…
But unfortunately, 
the environment and circumstances can degrade overtime $$

Nobody is immune from falling off the high horse and if you hang around long enough, you will inevitably see leaders become followers $$

Happy 8:43 PM
Just smashed a big bowl of eggs with some barbecue potato chips lol
…
I really don’t even know why I bought them
I grabbed them last second on the way out the door
…
I’m kind of glad I did though
And regarding snacking, trust me, I understand half that bag is basically fertilizer at this point, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do $

When it comes down to it,
seed oils aren’t quite as bad as they seem in the short term
…
But if you’re not broke, you’ve got no excuse lol $$

Potatoes are also probably poisonous 
…
thanks to the glyophosphate 
but our arguably less so
…
Or not, I don’t fucking know anymore
…
I’ve just been eating a lot of of them my whole life and things have worked out OK so far so $$

I bet it’s not optimal technique but sometimes all you got is a hope & a prayer and a bag of chips
…
I still say better to be eating one, Than have one on your shoulder tho. $$$

I don’t wanna ruin the surprise but tomorrow is a pretty interesting anniversary
…
The 18th of July is a very special one
…
I’m just reminding myself to go on a tangent later about it $

You don’t know resistance until you have to escape a cult $$$***

…
I could argue that I had to leave probably the healthiest cult out there
…
Which is ironic because everybody is delusional and destitute when they arrive there
…
But anything that meets in secret, 
likes to hold hands, 
and tells you you can’t leave or you’re gonna die, is still technically a cult $$***

Politics is just a spiritual crow eating contest
…
It sucks now, but we all get to watch these idiots Get theirs in the next life.
…
Hang in there team $$$*********




———-
Degrees
Reading

Secret service 
- strangers
- Friends
- Neighbors
- Spouse
- Larger Community

Referrals
- health
- Culture 
- History 
- Herbs & spices 
- Entertainment 

School of hard knocks 
- FAQs
- Soaps
- Tips / TQs
- Boom roasted
- Myths & mistakes

Library of Alexandria 
- zodiac
- Degree specific
- Fun & Func
- Feats of strength 
- The Training Tarot

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

7-16-26

716

Happy 3:58 AM $

*Lighter flick

Lol I feel like I don’t need to say much more else at this point $$

I had a pretty good first sleep
…
I don’t even think I updated yesterday,
Leg day Actually went very well
…
I thought I was going to be in serious shit because of low fueling, but it seemed as if the berry oatmeal was perfect $

I am pretty cooked today though.
I’m not hungry, but I am definitely not craving weightlifting lol
…
Probably just gonna go on a walk or two today $

I will say this-
If you haven’t seen “better call Saul“ then you should $$$

This recent switch back to the sludge has got me realizing some shit
…
All of my theories about tolerance and timing and strength & all of that are correct
…
But I’m mostly talking about just how much of a benefit it really does provide emotionally speaking,
Mostly with the whole “ADHD” bullshit
…
Working nonstop all day long isn’t the hard part,
It’s emotionally having the energy to do anything or care about anything beyond work or whatever is “do or die responsibilities”,
And Kratom has been the closest and most balanced thing I have found that takes the edge off and provides a little more emotional empathy
…
But I think I was correct with my recent strategy, 
micro dosing the 70H to really get my tolerance down
…
The substance itself is pretty sticky and sketchy as I’ve rambled on about a lot,
But when you literally microdose it, 
the overall effect can be even more mild than the plant powder
…
Overall, it’s weaker than a cup of coffee,
It just happens to fit close enough in the dopamine spot in super small doses $$

I do wanna emphasize because the nervous Nancy and me is yelling-
It’s still best to try to take six hours off per day
…
I mean, sure, you should probably take full days off if you’re a normal person,
But if you’re a “cool person” and you “operate at a higher frequency”,
 then as long as you can survive six hours comfortably with no withdrawals or cravings, then you really should be fine in case you can’t ever get any $$

I give Christians a lot of shit because they’re so foolish that they can’t see that heaven is right here $$***

I’m telling you,
Smoke some super dank and eat some berry oatmeal and then go pick up a heavy stone or walk up a hill
…
Take a few extra moments to think about freedom,
And then try to go build something
…
And boom, you’ll find heaven $$$

It is 5:08 AM and time for the final cigarette of the night lol $

I know I said it’s not tomorrow until 4:20 AM,
But sometimes you can flex that until sunrise $$

Some flavors are better at biohacking you than others, that’s for sure $$

…
Like these barbecue potato chips from last night.
…
There gonna invade my dreams now $

That is kind of one victory that is over looked
…
The quality of all the generic off brand stuff has gone up tremendously,
And the generic brands are usually pretty good reasonably priced, therefore balancing a bit of the inflation
…
It ain’t much lol but in the land of poison and propaganda, what else could you expect? $$*

I still say, keeping a good attitude and squeezing in any bit of recovery that you can will still put us all ahead in the long run
…
 Than if we never went through this phase to begin with that is $$

Meaning, if the bullshit from the Day takes 13,000 energy points,
But we are able to generate 31,000 energy points through cool shit like training and service,
Then we walk away with 18,000 energy points invested in the energy bank
…
That shit adds up quick when you remember the energy is never destroyed lol $$$

And everything that’s ever been thought of and acted up upon is recorded somewhere by Some group
…
Eventually, we will grow to where we can utilize this info energy somehow,
Therefore, those with secret energy piggy banks will have UFOs to fly basically $$*

If I’m king of anything, it’s probably from completing a tremendous amount of service work begrudgingly while being moderately enthused at best 
…
Probably cause I wanted to go play video games or skateboard or the adult equivalent $$

Or maybe it’s just being king of understanding that I don’t understand much $$

Trying to stay “forever Young” is not an excuse for refusing to grow up though
….
Seems like most fitness neurotics have forgotten that $$$***

If your source of hope is external, then you are as good as fucked $$***

Did you know that 1700 people will die each day from cancer in this country?
…
Which is about 70 per hour $$$

The number one killer of dogs is cancer by the way
…
I guess that’s just normal right?
Cause of how many wild dogs are dying of cancer each year…
…
Wait… $$$

Just “Asking nicer” is not a good strategy to getting what you want $$$*

I don’t buy that most people don’t have an imagination as much as they like to pretend $$***

Somewhere, there is someone jacking it to anime rn $$

Conscious vs unconscious adaptations 
Mass= un
Str = con $$

You can’t call yourself a true philosopher if you’ve never been yeeted thru space cuz of a shroom & some Disney dance music $$$

Excuses = body fat $$**

Happy 3:15 PM
Currently on an electrolyte run to Aldi’s
Then gotta get back to finishing up a bunch of digital work $

It is now 5:39 PM & time to go post up at the McDonald’s to finish you and some work
…
Wish me luck 🍀 $

Just because people still choose the unhealthy option when there are good options available,
 doesn’t mean that you should deliberately poison all of the bad choices more than they need to be… $$$

The Biggest threat is just a persuasive victim $$$****************************

I am a lot of things, but at least I’m not addicted to scratch offs $$

Fuck it, dude I’m just gonna say it
…
Super fat people are weak and untrustworthy $$$

(Let make it clear I’m referring to the philosophical super fat
…
Not the good people with extra stored energy who are truly trying to do better )

I mean, seriously if someone can’t stop thinking about their next meal, 
how much value are they really bringing to the table
…
And I’m not talking dinner table this time $$

Imagine being gifted with self-awareness only to never even consider using it and you just inconvenience everyone in a grocery store instead $$$

Imagine doing your life review and all you see is yourself struggling to get in and out of a vehicle and then yelling at family members who only tried to help $$$

You would think some people are training to be in the NFL special teams at the way they’re always punting opportunities $$*******

How to be legendary:
Don’t be controlled by your genitals
…
That’s really it $$

If you seriously, would rather download an app and let it do all the thinking for you and Rob you of all your intellectual gains, then well then that’s on you
…
But if you actually wanna master the art of exercise in the easiest, simplest, most direct method possible, then I have great news for you 
…
..
.
I mean, this shit (the games) is literally elementary level
…
If you can match stars and click a button, and monkey see monkey do, then you can get jacked
…
(There’s also a lot of good mobility for you uptight atheists)
…
Or you can go ahead and download some data harvesting app or pay some stupid influencer a bunch of money just for them to show you their crotch & the same things that I am out of order, 
with ads lol $$$*

It is 8:07 PM
It is also a few moments after finishing a cigarette,
After finishing half a dozen eggs & half block of cheese
…
Which has set me up perfect for a good midnight snack $

If you’re boring person, 
you’re either stupid or selfish or lazy or oblivious or apathetic
…
Cuz you cannot be interesting and boring at the same time $$*

It is 8:54 PM
I am so aggressive right now lol
…
I’m not hangry cuz I ate but my emotion doesn’t know that yet
…
I am still in murder mode
…
I tried watching some shit on Netflix. 
It was just so cringe and boring that It just made me furious that there are some people out there that are that vanilla. $

My cache of cringe throughout my life might seriously rival anyone because of how weird in my life has been so far
…
But at least I’m considerate and I’ve changed $$

Imagine being boring and staying that way forever $$$

Imagine being so concerned with other people think that you’d rather be a be a sellout little bitch instead $$$

I really am not angry at people
…
Their own consequences is plenty of justice
…
I’m trying to do better not judging because I recognize that pretty much everything I think about somebody before getting to know them, is wrong
…
But Jesus Christ, these people don’t know the definition of modesty $

They don’t even know the definition of delusion
…
They think it’s something else entirely $$

(Hehe I see what you did there)

I don’t know…
…
I guess seeing the squares on that stupid shipwreck documentary on Netflix triggered me
…
Don’t watch it
…
You’re gonna see it plastered and promoted I’m sure
… $

They say you are a product of the five people you spend the most time with
…
Which is why I had to ditch literally everybody because I was so busy that I couldn’t afford to be dragged down and I did not have time to go head hunting for the one percent of the one percent $$

I’m willing to bet that there are very few amount of people that can do a year by themselves without complaining or being passive aggressive and petty $$$

Filter that group by the amount who are willing to eat 10,000 eggs $$$

Filter that group by those who actually lift & know jiu-jitsu $$$

Filter by anyone with any kind of recovery background that’s not actually in recovery $$$

…
& here’s the final kicker
…
..
.
Filter that by someone who’s never subscribed to only fans and doesn’t fuck with porn $$$

(lol ima be alone forever

Knock on wood 🪵 )

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

7-17-26

717

Did you know that cigarettes get better than more fucked up that things are? $$***

It’s science 🧪 $

Happy 2:12 AM $

It is times like this that the golden rule needs repeating
…
“ no matter what, just try not to be a little bitch about things you don’t understand” $$$$$$$$$$$

Rewards always reflect faith & sacrifice $$

Sacrificing things that you don’t care about is cheating tho $$**

Sounds weird,
…
If I was a chick in apast life then I know I was a bad bitch
…
It would’ve been a very, very, very long time ago, though $$

Did you know that literally everybody you see is some kind of spiritual compilation?
…
A mix of good and strange
…
Maybe a little bit more in the strange these days $$

Eating eggs in the dark is still better than being in a bullshit relationship $$********

Ironically, it is really difficult to put into words Just have beneficial writing daily is.
…
Starts out like a chore, but it doesn’t take long before it becomes an art form
…
Personally, I think it is the best art for being less of an ass
…
But there’s other cool stuff you can do with it too apparently $$$

More irony is how much I like saying off-the-wall shit
…
While actively writing it on the wall lol $$

This is a pretty big week for weird synchronistic anniversaries.
Especially tomorrow regarding employment
…
mostly making this remind myself to make a note about it when is the time is more appropriate $

I am currently writing this note as of 2:52 AM while doing some mobility
…
The foam roller is currently eating my quads
& It is glorious $

It is also revealing to me that I need to stick with a push pull legs split the next three days
…
I was gonna try to do a full body,
Throwing some barbell and some backwoods,
But my heart and my legs tell me otherwise $

Either way it’s a win-win $$

If you think it’s weird to do mobility at night, then I feel bad for your significant other $$$*******

When it’s all said and done,
Better to have spent more time fucking than fighting $$$***

I think it is time for some cinnamon blueberry oatmeal $

But first
…
*Lighter flick $

Holy Mary mother of God,
That was amazing
…
It was a little aggressive on the blueberries, I’m not gonna lie $

Here’s a fun fact~
Did you know if you buy the big blue organic blueberries that you can turn your poop blue? $$

No kidding,
I would not lie at 3:13 AM $

This is also the perfect time for cigarette $

I swear I’m gonna have to come up with a better word than gratitude
…
It just seems like an understatement
…
Maybe it’s just played out $$$

That was always the worst topic you could ever hear whenever you walk into a meeting
Cause then you know it was about to turn into Thanksgiving dinner with everybody going around just reciting shit they’re thankful for
…
Which has a lot of meaning don’t get me wrong,
Better than going around and bitching and moaning $$

There’s just a level of humility that is often overlooked as it relates to gratitude
…
People are quick to list their cars and their houses and their electronics at the top of their gratitude list,
After begrudgingly putting the good stuff such as opportunities to practice integrity $$

But I’m telling you that there’s a level of freedom that comes when your options are limited
…
It is ironic,
But it is also the beauty behind law and order $$

Ultimate freedom does exist, and it plays out each and every day,
 but there is also a hierarchy of probabilities so things just take time to play out $$

Whatever is worth having is usually worth building
…
Otherwise, maintenance is always going to be a hassle $$$*

Building takes a lot of time and just as many mistakes $$

Mistakes are an appreciating asset
Their value only increases in time $$*

So being grateful for your mistakes is the sign that you have come full circle $$

And they say the only way to keep what you have is to give it away
…
Which means that you are responsible for making other people make the same mistakes for their own well-being lol $$$

Kidding, not kidding $$

Whenever I get confused, I just remind myself that the most beneficial thing is often the most confused for the most torturous
…
My clients have been quick to remind me of that lol $$

Listening to the MrBeast episode on the Joe Rogan podcast has me thinking
…
I have a lot of respect for him for what he has done and how he has changed the game,
But he is literally trying to get people to watch more on their screen
…
And if this pattern continues, 
then most of our cultural problems would just be exacerbated
…
While only Some would be solved by the freedom obtained from content creation $$

a lot of time, energy resources, and money, have been given away for attention $$

there’s a lot of value in brief entertainment,
But when someone is in the same breath mentioning how much they’re struggling with their own health, then I think we are missing the target $$$

I think it is important to consider the extreme extrapolation of your actions $$

That is why I have gone all in on an exercise e-book lol
…
Cause if motherfuckers take that shit to the extreme, then we’re just gonna be walking around the land of Giants once more $$

I just think that we need to be strong enough to be able to put the phone down at this point
…
And that begins by getting back to the basics
…
You know, square one 
…
Shapes and shit
…
& Good old mathematics 🧮 $$

Being a magician is just being motivated by extra dumb shit $$

I bet you, my blood was half microplastics whenever I set any performance PR $$

My point is our only true strategy is just getting better at filtering shit out $$

The cave is the only acceptable place to work out all of your cringe
…
Not the community Square $$$***

I don’t think anyone can survive more than three months in a toxic work environment 
…
unless they become just as toxic $$*

Grace is the most divine trait
Mostly because it’s the most needed when you consider how dumb we all are $$

The only downside to mastering something is that it means that everybody everywhere else will be doing it wrong until the end of time $$

I just wanna take a moment and give thanks to AAA once again
…
Because when you consider how a few times my car has been hit and how much time I have spent in parking lots around college women… $

You can’t call yourself a true philosopher if you’re not most triggered when someone tells you that you can’t do something $$$

(Hehe )

You don’t have to be a world famous musician to understand the energy you get from attention 
…
Just be moderately attractive and go train at a commercial gym $$

Even the most powerful office manager starts as a humble activist once they set foot in the gym $$*

The Best thing to ever happen to you will probably feel like trolling for a while $$$***

Goal for today:
Be the most considerate without being a pushover $$$

Life is just a game of Probability vs possibility $$*

Not to brag, but people are literally competing against each other to cut themselves off and inconvenience me today
…
I must be special $$

Few things worse than seeing a fat flabby arm hanging out the window of the shitty car with a cigarette $$

Ultimately, I will confess
…
It is much easier to avoid getting upset when your shit is in order
…
Therefore, anytime I bitch and moan, I know it is a reflection of some shit that’s going on deep inside of me
…
(So deep)
…
But that doesn’t help in real time processing the emotions 
…
and is not as funny as just talking shit lol $$

It is 12 PM on the dot
…
I am getting back from the gym and the library with a rotisserie chicken for the first time in a very long time
…
We’re gonna try a new strategy $

I thoroughly enjoyed the sandwiches, but there are still some digestive issues that I am not a fan of if you know what I mean $

It is now 12:44 PM
…
3/4 of that bird is gone
Must be at least 80 g of protein maybe more
Hella fat too
…
I gotta say they cooked it perfectly.
It was better than a sandwich
…
All in all I say is probably at least 1300 cal, including the ranch lube $

I ended up doing a light full body, functional isometric workout instead of a push hypertrophy
…
I think I’m still a little cooked from the last couple sessions $

I don’t think the ancients believed in a bunch of different gods
…
I think they believed in the danger of idiots and the power of symbolism $$***

A man becomes a man not when he goes into the woods and gets to kill, 
but when he goes into the cave and begins to write $$*

It is still always better to be on the receiving end of an inconvenience $$$$$$$$$

Earth is probably the only place in known existence where you actually get tortured by whatever we love most $$

It is 3:26 PM and this is the shit that I’m always talking about
..
I took a sludge shot damn near two hours ago and I couldn’t tell when or what or how or if it did anything at all
…
I mean, maybe a little ?
We’ll do round number two now to See if that changes anything. $

If the action does not make it easier to be nicer overtime then don’t do it $$$

I say if shit is gonna be strange, Might as well be high $$$******************

Ironically, when you are high, shit just seems more strange $$

Happy 4:20 PM lol $

I think that chicken is digesting and starting to work it’s magic $

Most people never make it past the trolley problem whenever they dip their toe into philosophy $$

After many years of practice, I have developed a skill that is more powerful than magic
…
..
.
It is to be able to see things from another perspective $$

The fact that I feel for more comfortable in an adult community is more evidence of reincarnation lol $$

Happy 6:17 PM from the McDonald’s
Time for another shift
I already delivered a couple pizzas so feeling pretty good $

Yeet
…
Finally finished the math lol $

I WANT MY LIFE BACK LOL $$

It is 8:23 PM
Just gotta say,
can barely go down the street without somebody nearly hitting you or without having to walk in trash
…
I’m not trying to be dramatic, but l this shit really does hurt my heart
…
It’s overwhelming how oblivious people are and how self-centered they are
…
Everyone is very quick to remind you that you are not as important as their next pleasure or paycheck $$

Only the lowest evolved lifeforms actually blame evolution for how they got that way $$$*************

I was gonna say that at least people don’t go around killing each other anymore for sport
…
But I actually think that might solve our respect problem lol $$

..
..
.
Guess what we have today is what happens when people go too long without getting punched in the face philosophically speaking $$

I am back from the candy store in one piece tho with enough poison to keep up the fight $

Happy 9:12 PM
I was just seconds away from making a 911 joke
…
Probably good I didn’t cause it probably would’ve collapsed on top of itself… $

Just checking in to report that half the eggs and a large portion of the crackers that I purchased have moved onto the next phase of development $

I must confess that I am out of my little bonus cash, and I am now back to broke as a joke
…
So I bought a seven tablet because that was eight dollars and the sludge was 20 
…
but the sludge has been inconsistent like I’ve always bitched about in the past $

I really think that there’s some weird mechanism that jacking up my tolerance quickly
So 100 g goes from lasting a week to only four days $

If you don’t love your enemies or keep an open mind when listening to them,
then don’t be surprised when religious shit doesn’t make sense $$

Alex has a little black spot from the cat treat on his nose and it looks like a little Hitler and I can’t stop laughing $

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

7-18-26

718

*Star Wars “ empire strikes back” theme song playing $

Happy 12:46 AM
Happy July 18 $

This is a very special day for yours truly
…
They are all special, but this one is extra synchronistic $

This is the eight year anniversary of the most notable termination of my life lol
…
This is when I was fired from my fancy smancy sales job for some extremely petty shit $

Maybe I’m the one being petty, talking about it eight years later lol
…
But literally the week prior, they were giving me compliments along with a raise,
And then I had a meeting with an old manager who suspiciously brought up my position within the entire company,
And this is a pretty big ass company
…
And the next thing you know, myself and three others were being crucified for some bullshit $

They did me two amazing favors though
Top 10 events of my life for sure
…
The first is when they hired me
…
And the second is when they fired me
..
..
.
Because if they didn’t, I’d probably still be there, slowly descending deeper into the dark side
…
The actual dark douchey side,
That is nothing but being on the receiving end of DoorDash and dating apps $$

They fired me on a Wednesday and I was in class on Saturday to get my real estate license
…
Six weeks later, I passed and the rest is mediocre history $$
 
(First try I may add 😏 )

All kidding aside, I cannot even begin to express my gratitude with the 3.25 years I spent at that sales company
…
The type of leadership experience & practice of philosophical jiu-jitsu is priceless
…
The timing was perfect because the company pretty much went to shit right after $$

But I guess what I’m really trying to say is-
They can shit canned me on the 18th,
But I knew what was coming on the 16th after a meeting with a manager
…
And right when I walked out of that meeting on the 16th, was when I entered a new phase of anxiety that has never left $$

I was just shy of six figures at that job,
I just moved into a new apartment after finally recovering from a failed relationship that took all my other money lol $

I effectively had mastered that job so I could manage dozens with little energy
…
Although I will admit that the role itself had soured due to company politics and I was realizing I was trapped $$

I have carried the anxiety & the uncertainty regarding financial bullshit since The afternoon of the 16th
…
I have had good periods of gain in between, but even lucrative real estate doesn’t provide the certainty that that job did
…
(and don’t get me started about the pay in personal training) $$

However, I must make another confession,
As uncomfortable as this uncertainty has been for this many years, 
One of the worst feelings I have ever had was actually on the evening of the 15th of that week
…
I was sitting alone in my apartment killing time before meeting or something
And I realized just how trapped I was at that job
…
I was already longingly looking out of the window at work at the woods every day,
Fantasizing about how far of a fall out of the window a ginger could survive and still escape on foot….
…
..
.
It was almost like a pit of despair opened up,
It was distinctly different than classic bitch assNess.
…
I can remember the feeling to this day because it was one of those moments where you kind of hit a bottom,
I knew right there that I had to find somehow, someway to make a change $$

(lol got my wish real quick didn’t i)

That’s kind of why the real estate transition was so quick cause I was already considering it
…
And the second I didn’t have to spend 50+ hours trapped in an office, part of my mental health was restored $

It is just no coincidence that that night I felt the worst I’ve ever felt
…
Hundred percent my own making
…
arguably a problem of my privilege of the heinous kind.
…
And then the next day, it became clear that my life was about to take a radical left turn $

Here’s a couple other interesting alignments on this exact day going back to when I got into recovery-
2012 is when I began aftercare after graduating rehab 
2013 is when I quit McDonald’s and landed the new job at Showmars while beginning to sell sneakers frfr
2014 can’t remember exactly honestly, but the sneaker business was booming 
2015 was when I officially began leadership training at that sales job that fired me lol
2016. I can’t remember, but was arguably the most peaceful, most balanced, most boring adult part of my life thanks to a very vanilla relationship & work life
2017 was when it became undeniably clear that that part of my life was about to change & that relationship is about to end
2018 was what I just mentioned about getting shit canned lol
2019 was repeating 2017 in a way, just needed a more toxic emotional dynamic. I was probably in New York on this exact day (this gf & I actually broke up on the street corner in the middle of the city. Like a reverse rom com lol)
2020 was when I officially began in the field for a real estate firm that was eerily similar to the sales job that I mentioned
2021 was when I was beginning to let everybody know in the program that your boy was taking a new route. 
(That was more tedious and challenging than pretty much any other year combined.)
2022 was repeating 2019 and 2017 lol. 
Had a relationship that was ending due to some bullshit and I was all butt hurt ofc, and I was also beginning the personal training madness.
2023 I was in nags head and I wasn’t sure why. I was catching up with a friend that I met in Virginia Beach a couple months prior.
2024. I was getting back from Portugal and another relationship was beginning the slow implosion lol 
(and those began the most challenging year of my life)
2025. I was beginning my final year clown college I hope.. 
that was when I fully entered the cave on my own accord to recover from both my own consequences and the attacks from government and bitch assNess
…
And here we are in 2026. 
I’ve said it several times premature, and they might even be the case again, but I think The resistance games off deck is finally done. $$

…
And man does it make literally everything in my entire life makes sense $$

I’m not saying that the games will do that for you,
But you never know honestly $$$

(Back to reg scheduled programming)

You can’t call yourself a true philosopher if you’ve never been cut out of a deal $$$

You’ll never be the same again the day you watch grown men and women scheme just to scrimp a couple dollars $$*

You can’t call yourself a true philosopher if you never found yourself in the wrong relationship $$$

…
But I admit most people meet that qualification $$

As much shit as I talk,
It’s still nothing compared to the amount of shit that I can talk about myself
…
I mean that in a light self de depreciating way,
I am not intending to sound like a sad soy boy
…
I am saying that I am Captain cringe. $$

I have earned that title after many years of hard work.
I had to defend it many times,
But I did what had to be done $$

One thing I am most ashamed is how towards the end of my last relationship, half of our time was spent doing actual business salesmanship coaching
…
You know it’s never good when you’re teaching the five steps to your GF to make sure rent gets paid $$$*

…
What’s kind of funny is that it actually worked and she closed a couple Pretty big deals.
Especially the super big one the week before she moved out… $

I don’t know it’s worse,
Me being naïve enough to think that I wasn’t wasting my time
…
Or her being so deeply inauthentic and unable to see how she placed money above everything $

(Innocently tho. She was still finding herself as I was
As we all are)

Most people are not malicious,
Most just have super deep tendencies that seem selfish and self-centered
…
Almost always evolving out of some desperate need because of some dangerous situation $$

Just like how a mirror can only tell you so much despite it being crystal clear, 
it becomes difficult to see your own behavior without another emotional angle, especially if you’re still on the defensive thanks to bitch assness $$$*

For some, The issue is that for some reason, the idea of admitting wrongdoing and confronting conflict by reinforcing boundaries is the worst thought in the world $$

…
People think the moment they say sorry they will instantaneously implode
…
Which just creates an entirely different larger issue $$

You never know who you truly are until you have to stand up for something
…
Also, ironically, you’ll never know who you truly are until you have to walk away from something shitty $$$***

It is 5:21 AM
I have been up for about a half hour
Enjoying a nice little buzz as I prepare some world famous blueberry oatmeal 🥣 $

…
I’m done it again
That was out of this world
…
I have no idea what kind of training I’m gonna do in a bit
Most likely some barbell and bullshit
But it’s gonna have to be a gametime decision
…
Honestly, I am not quite sure where I’m at calorie wise.
I know I’ve been on the fats for the past few days
And my training hasn’t been too terribly intense, so I should be mostly fresh
But my legs are a little crispy, which was kind of surprising
…
I am right about 168 but very lean and a little flat $

If you want to write, but are struggling with who to write to or what audience to have in mind,
Just pretend that in about 300 years somebody somewhere is gonna find whatever you wrote and is going to study it the same way that we study some random piece of parchment from the past $$$*

So you want to be a little personal and a little descriptive, but also a little vague & overly general to keep them guessing
…
Make sure to use cultural terminology that accurately captures the communication style of the community
…
Use as much slang as you want,
Slang always appreciates in time $$

Best way to get cancer
- eat shit food
- Chil on couch
- Avoid friends 
- Avoid conflict $$$***

Happy 9:39am
Reporting from my sunwalk before my lift $

Smiling at neighbors is still harder than sneaking into a crowded gym tho
Idk why $$

Powerlifting be like:
“Maybe if I can get 5lb, it will fix the emptiness within my soul” $$

Mobility training is just ways of finding how to make warm-ups count as the workout $$*

Be right back, I’m gonna go listen to classic rock in the shower like old times $

You can’t call yourself a true philosopher, if your day doesn’t involve absurd amounts of piss $$$

It is 1:27 PM
Just smashed at ton of crackers and pepperoni
Which is a surprisingly sneaky satiating snack
…
Pepperoni is easy to eat and easier to store,
And it’s mostly fat, but can add up on the protein side pretty quick $

It is 3:12 PM
I overshot the mark with the crackers and pepperoni, so I am going to the gym lol
…
I don’t think I even logged this morning’s powerlifting session
Which was glorious, but very easy volume wise
So fuck it, time to go have some fun $

Best way to be invisible in public is just to lean on something with a smile $$**

Tis 4:36pm
What a great sess alchemizing all them extra carbs & calories $

Might have overshot the mark nervous system wise… $

I am now begrudgingly apart of the hawthorns Saturday night pregame pow wow
…
My invisibility TQ might be working too well $

I don’t think I’ll ever stop pitying myself whenever I have to wait for someone’s pizza lol 
…
This is my best attempt $$

I will confess that right now I am feeling like the world’s bitchiest victim 
or at least there is a ghost whispering in my ears telling me that I should throw a pity party because of how tough I have it
…
Sarcasm aside it really does hurt each time people just treat you like you’re nothing
…
And I know nobody understands that better than God himself $

It is 5:53 PM
Time to deliver some cheeseburgers 🍔 $

The Most all employers have to offer is a measly paycheck to escape the monotony of your shallow existence $$*

Only drug addicts and salty sailors like sitting around staring at shit during their free time $$*

Would you look at?
…
That was a surprisedash
…
Sometimes they’ll literally double the bounty and I have no idea why
…
Sometimes when I accept the order, it seems small and then when I arrive and it’s pretty big and occasionally I’ll notice a bonus at the end
…
Maybe DoorDash has some kind of on time incentive? but I’m not sure $$

It is now 7:20 PM
After another little work montage of a shit load of tiny microscopic edits, I am leaving the McDonald’s now to go grab some dinner $

Everything is great, but my biggest issue is this weird urge to wanna victimize myself
…
I have plenty of notes about whenever this bitch assness comes up,
And it seems to want to strike on holidays and weekends and what not
…
I know it’ll pass cuz always does
Sometimes it’s just hard
…
But That just means it’s usually worth it $$

You usually don’t feel the pain until the end of the race though
…
Everything usually starts great,
Then it doesn’t take long before you begin to feel the fatigue
…
And you push through that long enough and you forget what fatigue feels like
…
And then eventually, you cross the finish line without even realizing you did
…
And it only takes about 10 minutes after that before your knees and ankles and everything start to really feel it $$

Those moments can actually be the hardest for silent creative victories
…
If it’s taken a shit load of energy just to complete, then chances are once you get done with it, You’re just gonna feel like shit until you are compensated however the God’s see fit. $$

It is important to not mistake the pain of progress with the pain of complacency $$$

Is 9:13 PM
Probably 45 minutes after smashing a good bit of chicken $

I’m going to bet some kind of evil bitch ass ethereal entity likes to pinch my urethra, making me piss everywhere
…
Cuz these fuckers are always on my dick $$$

$
THOUGHTS I HEARD

$$
SUBURBAN SECRETS

$$$
WORDS THAT NEED A HOME

7-19-26

719

*Lighter flick $

It amazes me how many people want to be a writer but don’t know what to write about
…
Philosophy is the art of just stating the obvious $$

Bonus points for symbolism $$

Double bonus points for unexpected symbolism $$

Triple double dog bonus points for ridiculous symbolism $$

If you truly don’t know what to write about, just develop an addiction and you’ll be forced to write everything down or else you’ll lose everything you have left lol $$$**

Kidding obviously…
You don’t have to go that far down on the scale to get the good shit
…
But it will weed out the non- committed if you know what I’m saying $$$

Happy 12:43 AM $

What a moist night
Extra humid $

I am enjoying a cigarette
…
I really am tempted to go ahead and tear into a bowl of oatmeal
But if I do that, then I’m gonna be up at like 4 AM ready to run
…
And I’m not supposed to run until maybe 9 AM $

What a dilemma
I wonder what Ill do… $

What do you think I should do, dear reader? 🦌 $

OK, right when I said that, a bunch of shit started rustling all around me lol $

I don’t know if I have anything crazy memorable about today from the past few years,
It’s Sunday tho, so I’m sure I’ll get hit with a feels trip at some point $

Is it weird to say I pounded a bunch of chicken before I napped? $

Being proud of yourself does not make you a narcissist
…
ONLY being proud of yourself does though $$*

*Lighter flick $$

Happy 5:13 AM $

Kind of ironic that silence speaks the loudest $$

Imagine making a bunch of money off a war nobody wants 
and thinking that’s still somehow cool 🆒 $$$

Imagine basing your entire sense of self on an economic construct… $$$

Imagine forgetting that money was made up and it’s just a construct lol $$$

Ironic that the most powerful construct is also the most destructive $$$

I would argue that if you are properly fueled, that effort is easy 
…
If it is not, then you have been internally sabotaged $$$

I am so excited for this oatmeal, even though I’m not really hungry if I’m being honest $

I think somehow over the past week, I have basically been perfectly at maintenance level calories but because of my training, I’ve been able to build a little bit $

Said it a while ago but,
one of the worst things in the world is trying to celebrate a win with the wrong person $$*

What if you found out that the most impactful events of your life were completely scripted?
…
I mean ultimately
…
Maybe the reactions were genuine, 
but the events that occurred were set in motion long before they came to fruition $$

So surprises are not really that surprising $$

“They say quoting yourself is bad,
I don’t see how
…
If it’s a good quote, then it probably needs repeating
…
if it’s bad, then just reinforces you’ve been historically stupid”
-two ts francis $$

The best way to figure out who you were in a past life is not by finding what you love and investigating that,
You’re better off finding what triggers you and what you cannot stand and start there $$$********

I just realized that the 18 year anniversary of one at first time I ever smoked weed is coming up
…
That’s a big deal
…
That means my pothead self is officially an adult $

(Holy mother of balls… that’s today!!!
…
Gotta remember to make a note about it on 7/27 lol)

I do believe I was born to have a blog
…
I believe the archetype of my life could only lead to a couple different outcomes
….
The one Grandfather ended up as a librarian at the end (that didn’t die at 39) so It figures I’d end up doing some kind of seemingly lame shit $$

Did you know, though that the job title “librarian” was a very common placeholder cover for CIA? $$

Did you know that most of the actual black ops bullshit usually takes place in Miami?
…
Or for some reason in Miami is heavily involved? $$

Did you know that the US Naval intelligence is likely the group with the most amount of UFO knowledge/intelligence power? $$

Did you know that this group allegedly began all of this cover-up bullshit back shortly after World War II? $$

Did you know that I’ve never been offered a sufficient explanation as to why a ginger grandad ended up in Miami before sunscreen, but after serving in World War II & naval Air Force? $$

…
I’m telling you that motherfucker was sus $$

They say that those who truly understand this life can’t say anything,
They can’t communicate the profundity 
But they can leave clues
…
And because only truly initiated artists can understand, they must build it into their craft.
Subtle secret messages and what not $$ 

Never get mad at somebody for mispronouncing a word
…
That just means they’ve read it before they heard it,
And that counts for a lot $$$***

I will confess,
I’m not the greatest reader,
And I’m not the greatest public speaker
But I am decent at doing both
…
And as a youngin, I used to read a little extra fast whenever I had to read something in public to seem smart
…
It works very well in sales too $$

Ego comes in all shapes and sizes,
Few as large and as deformed as mine though $$*

Another day,
Another amazing Smoky sunrise
Happy 5: 50 a.m. $

You can have a lot of body fat and still just be big and not “fat”
Just like,
You can be “fat” without actually having too much body fat 
…
The difference is laziness level $$$

If you work hard physically or emotionally every day, then you’re not actually “fat”
You might just have extra fuel
…
Some might have a little extra extra…
…
But you actually already have the infrastructure to burn it under the right conditions
Usually, these types of people are buried under all kinds of other bullshit first $$$

…
Then there is another group that is just a bunch of philosophically fat pieces of shit
…
This group is extra toxic because they make “resting on your laurels” a sport $$$

…
Whatever stores of fuel they have isn’t even really fuel because it’ll never be used properly,
It is just additional flab $$$

This group is always weaker than the former in every way, regardless of BMI $$$

Happy 9:48 AM
Time to go run around in the woods in the name of health $

I say better to drink out of the poisonous hydration bottle and then go sweat out the micro plastics than to sit on your couch worried about the shit. $$$***

Never good when you got a gang of activists with sticks at the park on a sunny Sunday… $$$

Tis 11:05
Nice lil 3ish mile run with some generous rest intervals 
Bout 45 min 
Nothing special $

Time to do some edits on a park bench $

If you’ve got a handicap sticker on your car and you don’t need one,
 then I just hope you remember the law of attraction is a real thing $$$***

Better to supply the pizzas for somebody else’s party then to throw a pity one of your own $$*

Sounds rapey, but Knowing you pulled it off when they tried everything to stop you, is still the best feeling in the world $$***

ADHD is the inability to care about certain things
It is not a decision, It is a lack of power. $$

It is rarely about being smart enough to figure something out,
It is almost always about being dumb enough to avoid getting in your own way tho $$**

I’d like to envision the good bacteria in my stomach as those big bouncer dudes from that one episode of SpongeBob $$

Expecting somebody to perform differently without giving them a good opportunity to practice, is your fault and not theirs $$$*

If you really want to understand humanity, just go hang out at a four-way stop sign $$

…
I happen to know a really good one that is right next to a Chinese buffet $

It is 3:47 PM
Just landed a double dash that put me in a good position to get some cat litter
…
the whole house smells like piss and I can’t seem to get it out lol $

If someone values being right more than anything else in the world,
Then they’re gonna be the most afraid of taking chances in which case they may be even a lil wrong $$*

Reminder that the only thing that actually exists, is that simply the relationship between two things $$*

The amount of magical moments I’ve had at a McDonald’s is honestly amazing
…
And concerning when taken out of context, lol $$

It is 4:55 PM
We are back after delivering another bunch of pizzas
I think I’ve said a personal best as far as pizzas delivered
… 
Must be double digits $

Apparently, my toxic trait is feeling rich with $13 so I quit slaving away and then end up kind of screwed when I get hit with an unforeseen expense
…
Knock on wood lol $$

If Satan is real, then his team is the worst, lamest squad of shitheads ever $$$***

I mean, he would only be able to control the lowest and the most heinous lifeforms
…
Kinda like the people who find new and inventive ways to cut me off in vehicles and shopping carts lol $$

But hey, that’s pretty easy competition if you ask me
…
Even if it does hurt my soul a little bit each and every time I see a self-centered shittard rushing to their next resentment… $$

Part of the reason why UFO disclosure is never going to happen is because you got a bunch of egos afraid to admit that they drove science down the wrong direction & just lied or hid everything and poisoned everybody $$$

I’m honestly surprised the fashion industry is doing as well as it is considering how many people like to wear their own insecurities for the world to see $$$*

Tis 6;57 pm and happy to say that I got enough cash for dinner $

I just need a a dollar for everytime someone nearly hits me lol
…
I think that’s fair compensation $$$

Okay here’s some spice-
…
The boomers and whatever gen came right after them are by far the worst types of souls in all of existence 
…
Trace the 84yr reincarnation cycle and you’ll find they’re the ones always inheriting good shit and ruining it $$

This is why we have to defeat death to stop these fuckers from becoming our parents again lol $$$$$$$$$******

If you only care about making yourself feel better, then I guarantee you’ll make everyone around You feel worse. $$$******

Some people only keep other people around to feel better about themselves
…
Some people only hang around other people because even as annoying as they are, it’s still better than the voice inside their head $$**

If someone else controls you, then you are the biggest threat to the population
…
This guarantees that whatever you say and do is not as authentic as it could be
…
& has something to do with profit motive $$$*

The most dangerous types of people are those who are too afraid to tell you what you need to hear $$********************

If you got talent, then you’re gonna be tempted frfr eventually
…
And if you give into that temptation, something or some governing group will hold that over you
…
And you may not even know they have the leverage at first,
Until you become talented enough for them to use you for real for real $$$

If you do not give into temptation, then just be prepared to deal with an incredible amount of bitchassness to try to inconvenience you, and throw you off course
…
But eventually, you can master the proper techniques to where the bitchassness no longer slows you down, but gives you good content and give you renewed energy instead $$$

The truth is Life is just a competition between ideas $$

“If you knew what I knew, therefore you would do what I do,
And what I do is not listen to you lol” $$

Most people that disagree or hate on the shit that I say would instantaneously change their mind if they actually had the same amount of practice with forgiveness
…
Cuz Any resentment at all is inexcusable $$$*

The person with zero anger is far more wise than the old resentful scientist $$**

Maybe the reason why I can’t instantaneously cure my nearsightedness, is because one day I might need to ask somebody to read something to me & that relationship changes our lives $

Or I’m just a dumb shit and I haven’t gotten to the really good stuff
 psychically speaking that is $

I don’t think anyone could disagree,
You are most happy when you don’t take yourself seriously $$$

Therefore anyone who’s taking themselves seriously is either caught in a trauma loop or is truly inexperienced with fucking around with the fucking around sake
…
Or is on the verge of basically being possessed and devoting their life to evil because that’s pretty much what happens when you choose the dark side for real $$$

And I’m not talking about the cute dark side and how beautiful the color black is,
I’m talking about the actual void of nonexistence due to destruction of all meaning $$&

It is 7:59 PM
Just crashed a pound of ground beef,
Half a block of cheese
And a bowl of blueberries
So Dank $

Extra proud of myself for going all day without eating fairly comfortably
I was kinda hungry but I definitely didn’t need fuel
I could’ve eaten and been fine as well, but was actually too broke lol $

But I barely realized it because I’ve done this kind of day many times
…
Basically, some kind of light morning exercise and just crush electrolytes and hope for the best lol $

It has resulted in all my winter fat being burned off, That’s for sure. $

It is now a great time for a cigarette $

Just saw a super cool squirrel hanging right by the door $

If that’s not the most ADHD note I don’t know what it is lol $

We have books on smart phones,
But I bet you that we have books that are actually smart phones
Or some kind of equivalent consciousness technology
…
What if you could edit words on paper?
Like as the viewer went to go read, they would be reading a unique code
…
It’s like the double slit experiment with quantum physics and all of that jazz
…
But I’m saying what if that was extrapolated into a form of technology,
That as long as the person wasn’t aware initially, you could edit it if they went back to read it (retcon shit) $

Ironically,
Peak of the dopamine pyramid isn’t even writing for hours or reading or anything like that,
It’s just being most entertained while staring at the wall $$

I think it’s possible to find a way to naturally bio hack your way into basically being on a low-grade form of Molly all the time
…
like literally chemically you can raise your serotonin and dopamine and oxytocin, and all the like to a resting baseline that most people have to pay some sketchy dude for $$

If you start seeing a lot of super cool, super chill cats that actually have superpowers running around in your neighborhood, Then you can rest assure that I finally cracked the code to psychic genetic editing. $$

Those cats are the coyote crime fighting squad so best leave them be
…
Or give em a good chin scratch $$

The super religious wanna claim to be super loving and accepting, but they’re really just super creepy most of the time $$$***

I know it probably sounds bad, but I really don’t think I’m all that smart
…
I just think that most people are dumb as fuck these days $$$

Historically, being emotionally stupid would get you killed pretty quick
…
These days it just gets you fat and sick and slowly suffering while you place to blame on everybody else around you $$$*

And with that I have to move on because otherwise this gonna start sounding like I’m placing the blame on everyone else but me lol $$$

And obviously, I kinda am, which is why I keep this long ass notepad for ways on how I can clean up my own shit 💩 $

It is 10:25 PM
Time for a little smoke
…
For some reason, the temperature does not want to seem to drop very much tonight and I’m kind of pissed
…
It’s like 85° $





———

Oats
Cheese
Berries
Beef

Candy
Gas

Phone