A Paper cut hurts extra to send a message
The theoretical lol is different than the literal lol
And a much easier target to hit
On a scale of 1-10, how comfortable are you with broadcasting your search history?
The only person braver than the crazy news anchor in the middle of a storm,
Is the guy with the camera.
The movie probably sucks if there’s not a hopeless “all is lost” moment
If aliens are super advanced and more evolved than us,
but they don’t know how to deal with pedophilic cannibalism,
then they aren’t that much more evolved than us…
There’s a reason why nature’s cleanup crew usually consists of the biggest baddest most terrifying beasts of all time
If you knew for 100% fact with no egg heads fucking with you that you would see your last loved ones again sooner than expected in a good way,
that would radically redefine every single aspect of everyday life
A Bad vibe is more contagious than a bad virus (but only to the emo-compromised)
Right now,
There are thousands of bros deadlifting on a smith machine… *
Special and strong people are the results of special and shitty circumstances
A functional intuition is better than a complex understanding
Women are far tougher than men in just about every metric
When do you think 2nd Jesus gets “the talk”? How old?
Majority of the therapy from therapy is just talking it out yourself while someone pretends to listen
cough Notepad cough *
The odds of you swiping right in your soul mate are less than .000001%
Behind every great critic is an even better artist that never was
A day can be the best and you not appreciate it until after the fact
Ironically, you can build a lot of muscle when running away from your problems
The best news you could ever receive:
today will be the worst day of the rest of your life
Sales taught me an easy yes is always worse than a difficult one
Old clothes can feel more fresh than new clothes
Things that actually help you in the long run almost always hurt like hell in the short run
Prisoners are usually more muscle than movement
The bigger the ego,
the greater the strength
but the lower the endurance
Seriousness and silliness are both sides of the same coin
Any container with uncomfortable inhabitants can be considered a prison
No matter the landscaping
A good nemesis is better for your well being than a good friend
REALLY MAKES YOU THINK
Better to smell like smoke than fruit
Micro plastics are better than fucked up bacteria
Just about The only thing feminist actually got right, is that bitchass men are our biggest threat
Condoms aren’t worth it
…
you shouldn’t be having sex if you need a condom..
If you knew you could reincarnate as your daughters kid,
You’d view arranged marriages a lot differently…
Better to be a reformed shithead
Than to have never been one at all
Ju jitsu should be practiced in schools
Emotionally speaking, people behave more like cats than anything else
Usually, the kids acting up in class are smarter than the teachers, but the teachers don’t wanna admit that
If you are worried you’re with the wrong person, then you are
The only actual bogeyman is forgetfulness or amnesia
Life is too short to avoid all seed oils
Women are more horny than men,
But way less horny than boys
Mormons have a healthier divorce rate than the Catholics..
You should be able to put your sock and shoe on 1 foot while standing without falling
Short hair kind of sucks because everybody could have it by the end of the afternoon
It’s actually beautiful that people don’t kill each other more than they do when you consider how radical they act towards each other online
Leg day on a Monday separates the athletes from the amateurs
Art is psy training If you take it seriously
Toast is the most spiritual snack
Many people wouldn’t recognize common sense even if it was plastered to their face
…
*adjusts mask 😷
HOT TAKES
The worst thing you could ever do is try to small talk a introvert before their coffee
“Bless your heart” is still the worst southern burn you could ever get
Overthinking kills more progress than overdoing
Hammocks are naturally resistant towards creative resistance
There are many ways to die.
“Literally” is the least to worry about though
The treadmill bout the worst that isolation training can get
Spiritually speaking
A suburban shootout is when two nervous neighbors see something suspicious at the same time and call the cops
Once you find a good protein powder, it’s best to stick with it forever and ever and ever
Once you find a good pre-workout it’s best to change it every 60 days cause fuck it, There’s always a new one.
Those driving with the Jesus stickers seem like they’re actively trying to meet him…
You know who’s serious by who’s training at sunrise on a Saturday.
…
You know who’s sad by who’s training at sunrise on a Sunday..
The only thing worse than “stupid” is “corrupted”
saturated fat is not the enemy if you haven’t heard.
But it also isn’t the greatest of nutrients
Everybody loves attention,
but nobody more than Car fags 🫢
Walking with your hands in your pockets is proper technique if you’re deep in thought
The fattier the beef, the higher the temperature you wanna cook it at
Electrolytes don’t solve every problem, but they do solve most of them regarding to energy management.
Caffeine is the most mind and mood altering of all time, if you go based on sheer consumption points
“Niggling” is the riskiest word in the English language
A good prediction might as well be a warning ⚠️
If the conditions are controlled, but the outcome is not,
then it is a game
Smells are the most powerful attractant or repellent
Because it’s attached to the oldest part of our lizard brain
GOOD TO KNOW
You can very easily tell those in recovery versus those in religion
…
It is by their happiness level
Jesus was a carpenter because he was most concerned about framing shit properly
Never fear who’s never failed,
It’s the ones who’ve failed 1,000x that you need to be watchful of
You can discover both your purpose and your poison based on what you have trouble staying away from
Owning your shit Is harder to do than dealing with actual flames
…
that is why there is a difference between hell in heaven
Even the largest groups of people are the same 12 personality types, just shuffled around a bit
The greatest skill you could ever ask for would be the ability to learn from other people‘s mistakes without having to touch the philosophical hot stove
Truly angry people have never either~
A: worked the steps or
B: tried Molly
75% of most people are actively suffering from tight hamstrings at the moment
Only a true philosopher would let you kill them to prove a point
…
Only the profane would feel the need to kill to prove a point
If you knew the reincarnation cycle schedule for a fact,
The greatest power of all time Would be bookkeeping
Animals are just a test to see what you would do if you truly thought you were a superior being
You can’t truly conquer the dark side unless you honestly convert to it and change back from it from within
You can start most good philosophical rants with the phrase “it seems to me“
Awareness can’t be destroyed,
Just placed in different time loops
Levels of consciousness:
Lucifer
Profane
Activist
Amateur
Athlete
Artist
Adept
Alchemist / magi
Joker / Jesus
Officially Non-human / diety
Levels of psychedelic experience:
-levitate
-Cross country Flight
-Trip to the moon
-Visit to mars
-Shot out into deep space
-Simply ineffable
Can’t spell association without ass and CIA**…
INSIGHTFUL INSIGHTS
You know it’s good philosophy when it not only keeps you from killing yourself,
but everyone that’s ever listened to it as well
the next big flood is just going to be a revelation of everybody’s deepest secrets that they’ve been hiding online
Exercise is just a contest against your own bitchassNess
pets are just philosophical Pokémon of love and cuteness
If aliens have more powers than us, then I would argue that that does not make them more advanced.
In fact, I would argue that is the opposite.
…
Because there is Nothing more powerful than somebody who can control their emotions when isolated in a universe of bullshit
Reincarnation the only explanation for being this young and feeling this old
A good PB&J always betters the day 🥪
If you’re going to hurl yourself down a flight of stairs, it’s best to try to do a trick before you eat shit
If you’ve spent more time in the church basement than in the auditorium, then you’ll understand a lot of the shit I write
One of the good things about digging such a deep hole is that you become pretty good at climbing by the time youre out
“Extreme butter” is better than the movie “theater butter”
if most people were to admit that stress is the true killer,
they would instantaneously become so stressed out that they have been so wrong and so judgmental for their entire lives that they probably would have a panic attack and kill over on the spot
If it starts with a P then it’s probably good for you after It’s initially pretty bad for you.
Better to cruise at the back of the line then speed at the front of it *