If you get depressed enough you will think anything sounds good
Even machine gun Kelly
Muscle focus means you’re gonna need new clothes
Movement focus means you’re not gonna need clothes at all
Be very careful mixing Metallica with the stair master
Most people think if they can simply date somebody attractive that they can use the dopamine hits from looking at their other to avoid the work that it takes to improve themselves
The biggest amateur move is going too heavy on the plant based shit and then blowing out your intestines just because you wanted to get some more micro nutrients
A mischievous fitness blog will have you believing in all kinds of weird shit about secret herbs
The comfy chair doesn’t stay comfy for very long if it’s the only chair you sit in
Never trust anyone lifting in cargo shorts
{unironically}
You better have a damn good reason for loading 3 plates on the smith
Most dudes will think you’re talking about call of duty when you bring up takin an inventory
People drop a lil fat then suddenly think they can wear whatever they want
If all someone has to offer is money & a car, then that is not a catch..
That is a trap 🪤
Resistance without good philosophy is just rough
Wiping the DB handles just makes you look foolish
Having long hair is fun until you get an unexpected snack
The same people that want you to lose weight from the needle are the same people that want you to gain weight from sugar
Not all shadows come from light distortions
Most often they come in the form of random creeps watching your every move
Those who care about their name publicly are often pretty terrible people privately
The same people with the “ I love Jesus” bumper sticker will cut you off just as fast as any atheist
the worst state of consciousness to be in is probably the “spoiled child who is too far gone”
if you’re trying to become some giant mass monster, then just get ready to be uncomfortable more often than not
You learn by the time you’re 30 if what you’ve been doing in your 20s is working or not
It’s All fun and games untill you wanna be comfy and you want it now
If the coroner isn’t smoking during the autopsy then don’t trust it
CONSIDER THIS A WARNING
You gotta have a damn good reason to be lighting more than 3 candles when alone
It’s all fun and games until you find yourself repeating affirmations in bed
Or to a mirror
Or to your steering wheel 🛞
You’re not a very good scientist if you take shit personal.
You’re not a very good artist if you don’t
If you have a large fart cannon on your car, just know that everybody hates you, none more than your neighbors tho.
Everyone’s tough till that unexpected phone call from parents..
“Be smart & listen to your heart”
“But what if your heart is dumb & blind?”
It’s not lying if it’s a skit
If they need to pull rank then they prob don’t deserve it
Football is like that inconsistent closeted, alcoholic ex-boyfriend who you’ve had a couple good nights with but most of the time it just causes more drama than entertainment
Resentment is poison
but fuck, does it taste good 🤷🏻♂️
Sometimes you gotta get out of Line used to make sure the line is in the right spot
Deathbed confessions are sus
Those who never gave up can easily spot those who did
Milk is nutritious
It’s also weird to drink
Most of the time making something artsy just makes it weirder
Being sore after workout is not nearly as appropriate as being just a lil crispy
there is nothing worse than profiting from somebody’s rock bottom and calling it recovery
Mental illness is extra hard to deal with because you usually got everybody gaslighting you
Lonely dudes love nothing more than a slightly lonelier woman
Only bitches use two knives when making PB&J‘s
Most protests are dumb af
And an excuse to whine for attention
If someone cares more about what they’ll receive then what they have to give-
then that person‘s kind of shitty
Most things related to etiquette fall under the “if I have to say something then that defeats the purpose“ category
You’re not an asshole for feeling like the smartest in the world if everybody else is acting like the dumbest
No matter who you are or what it is,
you always look like an idiot filming yourself from somebody else’s in person perspective
You’ll feel better after your chores are done..
People pretend like technique isn’t most important until they get behind the wheel of a car..
Being tortured by the weight of your genius just makes you an amateur
“Birds of a shit feather flock and shit together”
or however the saying goes
People who don’t respect the pen have never signed their life away
Only posers need clear eyes or Visine*
Ain’t nothing more foolish than wearing a face mask outside
You can tell who’s word is shit just by looking at them
You don’t need to hear anything
Standing out requires standing up (for something)
Better to take the weight vest off in the gym
& Put it on when you leave
Biker gangs are what you get when warriors miss the plot
Biker gangs are what you get when you have lonely manboys loving loud cries for attention
*gets murdered by a Hells Angel 👼
SOMEBODY HAD TO SAY IT
Be aware of bitchassness at all times
Nine out of 10 times someone being an asshole, is just an upset amateur
Never take judgment from a comfortable man seriously
But definitely consider their threats, especially when they get emotional…
It’s easier to see a double chin when you hold your head down low..
Never forget how Joe exotic was a country music star
And never forget carol Baskin killed her husband
Important points to remember before picking a fight~
* The pyramids
* America’s were discovered long before Christopher Columbus
* Shit went down for real for real almost 13,000 years ago
* Whatever technology we’re using right at this moment, is at the very best 30 years behind what the global intelligence communities actually have access to,
* Everything you’ve ever done and even thought about is recorded somewhere somehow by someone or some consciousness of some sort
Anything worth doing is gonna scare the piss out of you
or the shit
The world‘s most ancient wisdom has been gone back over to hide shit from the profane
All great adventures start with a motherfucker showing up telling a complacent dude to fight for what they believe in
Reminder:
Bitch-ass-ness spreads faster than any other illness
Progress requires friction
The truth will set you free
And piss off everyone around you
And make a lot of people laugh at them
You gotta get out and do the 10 minute sunlight walk as soon as you can in the morning
It is best to rise before you shine so you don’t blind all the people in the ground
Learning is just the process of failing in the most productive way possible
Few things duck tape can’t solve (or silence)
A quiet smile says more than a loud mouth
Muscle the wrong movement and you’re gonna have a bad time
Sunshine is an antidepressant
If you want long hair, you gotta deal with people telling you that you need a hair cut first
Your pets love it when you get on the floor with them
FRIENDLY REMINDERS
If your drug of choice is attention then you’re not an addict, you’re an artist
Caring about resistance on the smith machine earns an automatic fool card
you’re a special kind of stupid if you have sex with somebody at a music festival
Probably the single worst thing you can do for your health is drink fast food sodas from the fountain.
You have no idea how gross and moldy the inside of those things are
A good PB&J will change your whole dietary paradigm I swear to God
Sleeping with socks on (on purpose) is red flag #363
2/3 of most deadly killers in the world are likely in your medicine cabinet
Not many People actually hate others
Most hate themselves and are too scared to do anything about it so they just take it out on others
Only narcissists weaponize your own emotions against you and blame you for it
Muscle shit for too long and you’ll wake up with all kinds of weird aches and pains
Most prisons don’t have barbed wire,
They have white picket fences
The fastest pathway to peace usually involves pulling your head out of something tight and uncomfortable..
ATTENTION PLZ PT 1
If lifting up heavy stones is the key to eternal life,
Than a little bit of poison is the key to potent philosophy
If you have a real vision, nobody else will believe you for at least three years
You don’t know big until you look like some kind of science experiment 🧪
if you’re gonna fight, that you’re supposed to do it physically.
Emotional fighting is never fun or effective
Hard to be profane and survive more than 30 min in the gym
Real Masters like when shit gets fucked up because it gives them an opportunity to get credit for fixing it
it’s easier to make it through three weeks of uncomfortable exercise than it is to experiment with all kinds of strange metabolic modifying medications
I feel like you’ll get better results if you stop saying “Jesus loves you” and start saying “I love you. “ instead
I would argue that most people treat themselves worse than others
If everybody was strong and healthy,
Then any natural disaster would be maybe 10% as destructive
And if everybody was super strong and super healthy, and then a hurricane might just be a challenge for a fun weekend